Promise Me This; Never Let Go

I haven't done this in a long time, so I'm sure we're going to stay up and talk for hours. That's why I planned everything out. I charged my phone until it reached all four bars, wore my comfortable clothes, put a whole cooler of water bottles out by the balcony, and placed a neatly folded blanket on the lounge chair at said balcony.

It's really sad I have to prepare for this. Yet, here I am, dialing the number and shoving the phone up against my ear, very hopeful. I hope he isn't too angry with me.

"Where have you been woman?! I have missed you like crazy!"

I smiled so widely, it hurt. "Kenny! I missed you too! So much has happened, you have no idea."

"Oh god," he sighed. "You're back to calling me Kenny. I'm not five anymore, stop with that! But, tell me what's happened!"

I hoped he was going to yell at me for not keeping in contact. It seems I got out of contact with everyone back home. I barely talked to Jessica either. I'm not afraid to admit it, I am a horrible friend. I'm horrible and they still welcome me back with open arms. Either this is a fucked up world or I am really lucky.

"I don't want all this spotlight on me," I explained, "tell me what's been going on with you."

I heard Ken chuckled over the phone. "Okay, I'll tell you what's been up with me lately, but we're going back to you too."

Damn, I was hoping he forgot.

"So what's been up with me?" He paused all dramatically, to raise the suspense. I could picture him scratching his chin with his invisible stubble that he could never grow. "To be honest, not a lot. It's only been two years. Still in college, I know aren't you proud! The ADHD kid is still in college, and kicking ass with his grades! I'm proud of me too. Let's see, what else is there to say? Monster sponsored me for my skateboarding. They had a little ceremony type of thing at Mr. Shinoda's skate park a few days ago. How is everything with you?"

Is he kidding? For two years, that's a lot! His life is definitely more exciting than mine is. Out of my two years of touring with Rafael, the few things that have happened that are remotely as interesting as Ken's life events is everything that's happened in New York. For something as huge as traveling the world, you would think that my life would have more excitement than this.

"You got sponsored by Monster? Ken, that's amazing! When are you signing up for the X Games already? You have to, you're amazing enough for that," I grinned, pulling an ice-cold water out of the cooler.

"Sis, calm down. But since you mentioned it, I am signing up for it next year so I can prepare. It'd be such short notice if I did it this summer. You should see all the free stuff I get. I get free clothes, shoes, and skateboards. So many companies want me to promote their stuff!"

"I really am proud of you. What's up with offspring of the Heras' becoming famous is some type of way?"

We both laughed obnoxiously at the same time. I meant it as a joke, but it was sadly true.

"I have no idea Izzy. It's kind of entertaining though. Now, tell me what's been up with you."

"I." Out of habit, I bit my bottom lip. I was scared to tell him. "…I saw Matt."

See, now the thing I expected was a freaked out reaction.

"You saw Matt?" Ken asked his voice extremely low.

This wasn't what I expected. "Yes."

"How did that go?"

"Do you want the full detailed story or the general idea?"

"The general idea is good."

"Okay. I saw him at my hotel, I told him to come by later so I could talk to him. He never showed up so I had to hunt him down, and after we yelled and screamed, we were okay again."

"You're in love with him."

"What are you talking about?" I hissed. I'm in love with Matt? That's crazy.

"I am going to repeat this once. You are in love with him."

"No, I am not."

"Izzy, when are you going to stop denying it? You know that you love him. I remember when I was a kid that I loved it when I would see and Matt together. You two had a deeper relationship than just the best friend thing. I know he used to get jealous when I would tag along with you."

"Stop lying to me," I pleaded. There more he told me, the more I felt like crying. I didn't know I was on the verge of tears.

"No, you're going to listen to me. There had to be one specific moment while you were a teenager when you realized that Rafael was never the person you wanted to end up with. There had to be just one moment that you knew deep down that Matt was the one you wanted to be yours. Franchesa Isabella Heras, you cannot tell me that you never knew of your feelings for Matt. We all saw it, how could you not?"

"Ken, there was one memory I remember. I try to block it out as much as I can, but it always haunts me."

The weather screamed of warmth, but my body was shaking. The thought of climbing up a tree made me think about my 16th birthday. That was a fun day until Kenny broke his leg. He wasn't crying at all, but I was. I was supposed to look after him and I allowed him to break his leg. What kind of horrible sister am I?

"Come on sweetie, I'll take care of you," Matt said after he yelled at Rafael. I followed him, not able to look back at my boyfriend. There was no doubt in my mind that he would be angry with me later.

After we were at the very end of the lake, I took a deep breath and realized what happened back there. I rubbed my eyes and punched Matt on the arm. "Why did you do that?!" I growled, gritting my teeth.

He tried to keep a smile down. "What?"

I shook my head. The memory of Kenny falling out of the tree flashed back into my mind. I had to close my eyes to stop the onslaught of tears. This whole weekend was supposed to be fun. I'm not supposed to cry.

"You were so evil to him," I breathed, turning away. I put my right hand over my left and held it against my chest. I felt so vulnerable and I wasn't sure why. I guess I was holding my chest in an attempt to make myself believe that I was able to hold myself together without breaking down.

The moment I felt Matt's hands reach for mine, holding them with his, my heart began to beat faster. Although my eyes were still closed, my face tilted upwards to meet his, even if I couldn't see his face.

"He deserved it. You told him about Ken and he's supposed to remember it."

My eyes fluttered open. I wanted Matt to be wrong, but he wasn't. Rafael is supposed to remember it. I even told him once that I would never climb a tree or anything of that sort ever again. It reminded me too much of Kenny's accident.

And yet, I still had to defend my boyfriend who shouldn't be forgiven. "People forget sometimes."

The color in Matt's eyes darkened. He was beginning to get angry. "I don't know why you're defending him. It's his fault, not yours."

"I know…" How pathetic of me to sound.

I looked down at floor, ashamed of myself. I shouldn't defend someone who was wrong. I'm succumbing to Rafael, and that isn't good. I wish I knew what to do.

My face was lifted upwards as Matt's warm hands locked onto the sides of my face. My breathing was raspy and I was shuddering. His touch made butterflies erupt in my stomach. The butterflies flew around more when I saw the color of his irises. They were a color I had never seen in his eyes. They were an extremely light brown, even lighter than hazel, and a greenish color was now quickly shading over his eyes.

The instant his lips touched my forehead, everything broke down. I didn't care about Rafael, I didn't care that someone could catch us, and all I cared about was the loving way Matt was acting with me. I waited months for him to act this way, and he finally has. I could care less about anything around me.

His hands slid down to my shoulders as he kissed both of my heated cheeks. I was practically whimpering. I was waiting for those lips of his to touch mine. And yes, I wanted him to do it. There was no way I was going to make the first move. I don't deal well with embarrassment and rejection.

He didn't kiss me though, much to my disappointment. His hands, however, continued to move. They slid down to my arm in a tender motion. "So soft," I think I heard him say. His hands stopped midway and entwined around my waist at the same time I wrapped my arms around his midsection. The happiness was overwhelming, and in that moment, I was the happiest I had ever been.

"Izzy, you're so in love with Matt. Please, don't break his heart."

I feel so torn. I'm stuck between my husband and my best friend. What am I going to do?