Promise Me This; Never Let Go

Franchesa

What was I supposed to say to that? I never knew I confessed my love for Matt when I was drunk. I wish he told me sooner. I was right when I told him that he has horrible timing. If he told me this so much earlier, I could've taken real action of it. God damn it Matt!

A few days passed on by. I was still deeply in thought about what Matt told me. Something like that can't be easily forgotten. I wish I could forget it, I really wish I could. Yet, how could I? This is Matt and he never speaks openly of his feelings. For him to say he's in love with me is very huge. He isn't lying, that's for sure.

The fact I don't want to grasp is that I have to leave again. Even though I'll be back here next summer, Matt won't be. Well, he might be, but if I can see him is the real tear-jerker.

If Rafael knew of my meetings with Matt, why hasn't he confronted me about it? I almost expected him to lash out at me; his hot Spaniard blood boiling. So even after the days have passed, nothing's happened. I don't care that Rafael knows. I knew that he would find out eventually.

What surprised me, though, is that he's been monitoring me. There is such trust there. I trust him and he doesn't trust me. Are you kidding? I can't wait for him to talk to me about it so I can release my anger. It's bottled up and I'm keeping it that way until I can attack him and no one else.

I could vent to Matt, but that's wrong. Lately, we've gotten into too many arguments. It makes me sad that we fight so much, but I guess that's what happens when you keep two stubborn people locked in a room.

"Are you ready to order?" my waitress, Clara, asked as she passed by with a pitcher of water in her left hand.

I shook my head, "No, not yet. The person that I'm meeting isn't here yet. A few more minutes, I promise."

"Okay. Don't hesitate to call me over when you're ready."

'Or maybe I'll order for myself since he won't come.' I don't think he will anyways. I asked him to meet me here at Serendipity at one pm, and he hasn't arrived yet. I sighed disheartened and touched the hem of my skirt.

I heard the scraping noise of a chair against the tile. I looked up to see Matt. His face was blank behind his aviator sunglasses. Were those...He was wearing the shades I bought him when we were 16.

I almost smiled, but I refrained myself. That could've been nothing more than a coincidence. Sighing, I waved my hand over to Clara who walked over to us with a notepad in hand.

He ordered the Frrrozen Hot Chocolate and I ordered the Celestial Carrot Cake. When Clara brought our desserts out, we ate in an awkward silence. I didn't know what to say to him. At times, I looked at him as he ate his dessert.

This man in front of me told me he's in love with me, but he's keeping his composure extremely well. If he's hurting, he isn't showing it at all. The years has made him a master of keeping his emotions hidden. How did he cover it up so well?

It was when we both finished our desserts when I finally talked. I was nervous as hell, very nervous, but I had to say this. He has to know.

"Matthew Charles Sanders." I noticed that he sucked in a breath. "It's true, I'm in love with you. I thought long and hard about this, and I realized that I began to fall for you ever since my cousin's sweet 16 party. I have a lot of favorite memories with you, but that one is my favorite.

"Do you remember it? I sprained my ankle and couldn't move. You took care of me. You weren't like every other guy; you still aren't.

"Even after my fucked up ankle, you stayed by my side. You kept me company and refused to leave when other girls asked you for a dance.

"I seriously thought my feelings were teenage hormones because come on, I couldn't know the feeling of being in love. So, for awhile, I let go of my feelings.

"We were both happy with our significant others. Then, you broke up with Lisa. You looked so torn, I hated her for hurting you so much. Whenever I consoled you due to her ruthless heart, I wanted to tell you, but I saw how beat up you were about her. You weren't in love with me, you were in love with her. How could I stand to see you even more hurt by telling you how I felt?

"Then, then, on my wedding day, you declared your love for me. I was skeptical. It had been years and I believed you only saw me as a best friend.

"When I came back from Aruba, I wanted to see you. That didn't happen and we both didn't know who caused us to separate. It broke my heart to know it took two long years to finally be able to see you again. Matty, I am still in love with you too."

Applause broke out throughout the room. I shook my head and blinked. I felt like I could breathe again. It was a lot to explain, but it felt so wonderful to finally tell someone how I truly felt.

I hadn't noticed that during the time of my explanation, the entire restaurant grew quiet and the music was turned off. No wonder why they were all clapping.

My face would've burned from embarrassment except that Matt took off his sunglasses. I wasn't looking at him when I told him my story. Now that I saw his hazel eyes, I noticed that they were almost green—just like that day we went camping.

He stood from his seat and slowly walked over to me. I turned in my seat so my legs were facing the side. Matt kneeled down in front of me, looking into the depths of my eyes, a glimmer of sadness in them. Ouch; he was trying to see if I was lying.

"You stupid boy! Kiss her!" hissed an old woman who was closest to us. She even hit Matt's foot with her cane.

I noticed how quiet the room had gotten once again. It sounded like they were all holding their breaths. I was doing the same.

Matt held both of my hands while he looked me directly in the eyes. I felt nervous and butterflies seemed to swarm around in my stomach again. 'I never feel this way with Rafael anymore.'

"Lisa was never the reason I was so down. She broke up with me because she knew of my feelings for you. I was always so torn, so needy because I couldn't have you. I hate myself for not telling you sooner. I regret many things that I've done, but now that I have you, I don't care. I don't care about anything but you."

I couldn't stop the tears in my eyes. My lower lip pouted as I threw my body weight on him and hugged him.

Serendipity: a natural gift for making pleasant, valuable, or useful discoveries by accident.

I accidentally discovered how valuable our friendship is and how pleasant our love for each other is. I accidentally discovered I fell in love with Matt years before. I accidentally discovered I still am in love with him.