Promise Me This; Never Let Go

I couldn't stop the nerves that racked my body the closer we were from going back home to Huntington Beach. It's funny, we were still in the airport, waiting to get our entire luggage and my stomach still wouldn't calm down on me. I found myself frowning, staring down at my stomach, and rubbing it every few seconds.

Granted, that made all different kinds of people look at me. Some gave me a quick glance before adverting their stares somewhere else, some were couples that gave me encouraging smiles as they passed by, and the rest were little children that wanted to run over to me and touch my stomach but their mothers pulled them back and muttered that it would be a rude thing to do.

As much as those people think I'm pregnant, I'm definitely not. The queasy feeling in my stomach is due to the fact that as soon as Rafael and I leave this airport, we're going back home to our families. This would also mean that I finally get to have my talk with Matt. As afraid as I am to confront him, I still have to do it. I can't lose my best friend; we've been through too much to go through the same bullshit all over again.

Naturally, once we found all of our things and were outside waiting for a taxi, I sent Matt a text, telling him I'm home.

Rafael and I looked like a pair of traveling hitchhikers with our clothes. I don't know how it happened, but we both ended up wearing these old shirts, shorts, oversized sunglasses, caps, and backpacks while holding all our suitcases. I found it funny for some reason.

"You look really tense," Rafael muttered, squeezing my hand some.

I shrugged while keeping a lookout for a yellow taxi. We decided to surprise everyone by not announcing when we would return. "I'm nervous when it comes with the Matt deal."

"Everything will be fine."

He caught my eyes. As I stared into his dark brown eyes, I believed him wholeheartedly. Things would be fine with Matt. They had to be. Matt was the only person I was thinking about the whole time I was in Aruba. Okay, that's a lie. Rafael was there in Aruba with me. It's just that Matt was the only person I was truly worried for.

The second I felt my phone vibrate, I snatched it out of my pocket and hurriedly open the new message. I sighed in relief. Matt wanted to meet up at the skate park in three hours, if that was alright with me. How could it not be?

I suddenly felt guilty for waking him up this early in the morning. Now that I checked my phone, it was only four o'clock. He was most likely still asleep and I had woken him up. That isn't a nice thing of me to do. I bit my lip and sent a message back, telling him that was perfectly okay.

I should really tell all of my other close friends that I'm home as well, but I didn't think I should, at least not yet. I need to fix the important things first before I can skip on to the happy reunion. This makes me wonder, what has Matt been doing for two months? I hope he hasn't slacked off work with the band. As independent as the guys are, they need their lead singer.

I really hope he hasn't gone out binge drinking. I've never seen him do that, and I'm scared that he found the habit appealing while I was gone. My actions always seem to be the reason why he is the way that he is. I'm the cause and he's the effect.

His warm hand wrapped around my wrist as we hit the borough of Huntington. "I did not tell you this since you have many things on your mind, but I told your parents we returned. They are waiting for you to come home so they can welcome you back. Only your parents and Kenneth know we're back; and Matt I presume. I thought it would be comforting if you spent time with all of your other loved ones before we live together in our own house."

I looked at him, grateful. That really did sound perfect. I loved how he respected my space and how I needed some more time with my family before my old bedroom would be but a memory.

Therefore, when the taxi stopped in front of my house, mom, dad, and Ken ran out with these ginormous smiles on their faces. I'm not joking; it looked like they went to the surgeon and had botox injected onto the end of their smiles. It was downright bone chilling it made me shudder.

I looked into the taxi window at Rafael's face. With my eyes, I pleaded with him to let me go back home with him. He shook his head and did his best to give me a reassuring smile. I sighed annoyed as the taxi drove away with my husband.

On impact, mom pulled me against her body and squealed. "Baby! Tell me how your honeymoon went! How was Aruba? I want to know ALL the details! Okay, not all of them because some parts are probably disgusting, but you know what I mean!"

Dad sighed and pulled mom away by her shoulders. "Will you let your daughter breathe? She will tell you about her vacation whenever she pleases. She's most likely tired from the jet lag. Let's bring her back inside and then we can discuss her honeymoon."

I smiled and thanked dad silently. He gave me a wink and ordered Ken to carry my things inside.

Ken and I stood outside for a bit. We sat down on the porch, a familiar content feeling washing over my body. I had so many good memories here alone. One of them was watching Ken run home with a small trophy in his hands. That day he won first place for the junior section of a skateboarding contest.

Ken slapped his kneecaps and whistled. The awkwardness was really making this weird. "How are you feeling?" he whispered, leaning to his left while he was still facing front.

I shrugged. "I couldn't stop thinking about Matt. I feel horrible. Rafael was doing his best to get my attention but Matt had it all. Is that bad?"

"Sort of. I mean, it was kind of your honeymoon with your husband. I understand though. What Matt did was some crazy shit. He's really sorry for saying that though-"

"Wait! You've talked to Matt while I was gone?!"

"Of course I have, sis. Matt's like my older brother. How could I not talk to him? I've been trying to make him feel better about all this. He blames it all on himself. He keeps telling me that he should've never told you because he fucked up your life."

"Then I definitely have to talk to him later," I mumbled dejectedly.

"What are you talking about?"

"I told Matt I'm home. We're meeting up at the skate park at seven."

"Oh my god, good for you! What are we doing out here talking like chicks? Let's get you inside so you can have some rest before you go talk to him!"

In a second, Ken had my luggage inside the house and when I didn’t move from my spot on the porch, he dared to pick me up and sit my butt down in my old room. I stared at him perplexed. When had he gotten so strong and manly?