Promise Me This; Never Let Go

Here's how it works. We have a moment where everything goes perfect, and then something or someone always ruins it. This time it's Matt. He feels the need to crush my feelings right after I tell him I'm also in love with him. Tonight we've struck another argument. The only difference is I don't know the cause of his outburst tonight.

"Stay with him," he said, so nonchalant it angered me. He's been waiting for me to tell how I feel about him and he throws it all away. Of course, I seem calm in my mind but this is how I'm facing his statement on the outside.

"Why? Why!"

"Because there's one thing he won't give to you that I always will."

"What, love?"

"No, he won't tear your heart apart little by little."

"So you're, you're giving me up?"

"I'm doing this because of you. I hurt you way too much. You don't deserve or need it."

"I can't believe you're giving up on me. I'm in love with you! Isn't that enough?!"

"NO! It isn't fucking enough! You'd think that love solves everything but it doesn't, not with us. Don't you get it? If we were together, love would be the thing to tear us apart. We can't be together, we could never."

"I fucking hate you," I spat.

I expected his face to contort in hurt, but it didn't. His face remained hard and close to expressionless. "I know you do."

"I do!" I roared, practically jumping up, I was so angry. "You stupid bastard! I didn't have to go through all this for you! I could have moved on and pretended I never knew of your existence! You stupid selfish asshole!"

I began crying, full on sobbing and refused to wipe away the tears. It hurt like fucking Hell and I wanted him to suffer. I don't get it. I gave him my everything and what I get in return is a stab in the heart. If you love someone, you don't let them go. You don't go through so much drama only to reject them. If you love someone, you want to take a chance with them. You'll do everything to stay together. You work it out.

I stood there, crying and whimpering while Matt watched me. I would've told him to leave but I couldn't speak. My crying was the cause of my temporary speech impediment.

"I'm so sorry Fran. I really am," he said as he carried me over to the bed. I pushed him away but he refused to budge. He pushes me away, but when I do the same to him, he wants to hold on. What the hell.

"G-go!" I sputtered, pointing behind him.

"No. Not while you're crying."

What did it matter? I'm going to cry everyday. He broke me.

"Please, please stop crying," he pleaded, touching my arm.

Through my crying, I scoffed and turned the other way. How dare he try to tell me to stop crying when he's the source of this? Why is he laying in my bed? He doesn't deserve to be here!

"Matt get of-"

I was interrupted because he's a rude individual. Except the way that he interrupted me wasn't rude at all. It wasn't what I expected but it was effective in making me shut up.

In one of my angriest moods, Matthew Charles Sanders decided to kiss me on the lips.

I looked into his eyes, wondering where the hell that came from. His mouth twitched, I could tell he wanted to smile, but refrained himself. Even with him trying to keep the dorky smile he wanted to give from happening, I saw his dimples.

He shouldn't have kissed me, no it would've made this worse. Is it bad that I didn't care? Matt finally kissed me and I couldn't resist but to lick my lips and look at his.

His smile finally shined through as he leaned down to kiss me. I'd lie if I said that I didn't want this. I was hungrily kissing him like my life depended on it. Years of tension between us were thrown around, back and forth in this one kiss.

Eventually, I felt Matt squeeze my thigh. My eyes shot open and I stopped kissing him. He noticed and opened his eyes too. "Matt, don't," I pleaded.

"Why not? After tonight, I'll never see you again."

"I know, but...don't ruin it."

"Fine."

I expected him to be angry, he doesn't like disappointment, but no, he went back to our lips connecting. He was trying to make the best of this since we both knew we had this one last night to cherish each other's love. Somehow it felt more special when I felt the tears slid down my cheeks. A soft whimper arose from his throat; he was crying too.

Matt

She fell asleep a while ago. The clock was barely reaching 11 and she was already off into her dream world. I should have expected this; she's been incredibly stressed out. She's been bending and bending, and she hasn't broken yet. Let's hope she'll never have to break.

Why isn't Rafael here? You'd think he would be since he knows that I'm with her so much. I'm happy he hasn't shown up. I didn't want him to ruin a perfectly good memory. Then again, another part of me wanted him to barge in so he could see all the love I offered Fran that he could never. When it came down to it, I always gave her more love. However, when it came down to it, I also hurt her more. It's not right that I do, and I feel so much guilt every time I have to see her cry.

I could lay here forever just so I know that I wasn't dreaming. But this isn't a dream, and pretty soon, he really will burst in through the door. I sighed, tears forming in my eyes. Slowly sitting up, I took in Franchesa's form. She was sound asleep with a light smile on her face. I looked at the curve on her hips.

Leaning down, I kissed her temple. 'This is the last time I'm seeing you...Franchesa, my dear, just know that I'll always be beside you.'