Promise Me This; Never Let Go

Franchesa

When I woke up later, he wasn't there. I might have sat there and cried for a few minutes. I already knew he would have to leave and that he wouldn't stay around, but I hoped he did. I even hoped that when I woke up, I wouldn't be here. I hoped that it was all a dream; me marrying Rafael. I hoped that when I woke up, I would still be a teenager. That hope is going a bit far, but I'm allowed this. I even hoped that if the dream didn't work out, that when I woke up from sleeping, I was in Matt's apartment. It won't do me any good to keep wishing things like these could happen. This is life, not Disney.

I wiped my tears away and walked out to the balcony. I looked up at the sky, surprised to see so many stars out. You didn't see too many stars out in the city. They were so pretty, so bright that they twinkled. It reminded me of Matt. It made me feel sad all over again, but I couldn't help but to keep thinking of Matt. Whenever I was with him, I always saw a happiness in his eyes, they were always so beautiful to me. If only we both spoke up years ago, it wouldn't be like this. I would still have a friend at least, if not a lover.

Matt

They're gonna be so mad at me. I spent all this money on this expensive condo in a blind hope she'd be here. Fine, I have been stalking her since she left Huntington for good. When I found out she'd be in New York for the US Open, I had to get here.

I'll go home without Franchesa. The only thing my friends are going to see me bring home with me is more heartache and depression. You know what? Fuck them! What kind of friends are going to tell me to stop being sad? They should be there for me instead.

What am I going to do with myself? I'm nearing the age for a midlife crisis. I haven't had a girlfriend in years. All I have is an empty house and dog back home. I really waited this long for a girl only to let her go so she can be happy.

I could've had her. For once in my life, I could've gotten what I wanted. Well, the band happened and that's one thing I got. Besides that, I had the choice to take her with me. I always dreamed of being able to do that. Then, when the opportunity finally arises, I say no. What is wrong with me?

Even now when I'm at my lowest low, someone has to make my life even more miserable. The constant knocking on the door almost drove me insane. After I didn't go to my door for a minute, the person still wouldn't go away.

Sighing, I dragged myself across the living room and towards the door. "Look, I don't want any girl scout cookies," I said, shaking my head.

"Well, I don't have those so yeah."

My eyes shot open. I looked at the suitcases sitting against the wall. I then saw her, her. Why was she here? Her flight left an hour ago.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, holding my breath. I didn't want this to be a dream. If it were, that would only break my heart even more.

A shy smile showed on her face. Her cheeks were a pale pink color. "Matt, I chose you," were the words that shot out of her mouth. Each word, each syllable was stretched out excruciatingly slowly. I was in a state of shock.

"You did what?"

"I. Chose. You."

"A-and he willingly let you go?" This still felt like a dream. This can't be reality. There's no way she's here right now.

**

Jo appeared in front of the open door, an amused smile on his face. "Don't forget the bus leaves in one hour!" he chimed like an events calendar.

"We won't," I smiled. He nodded and sauntered away to remind the other tennis players.

I heard him sing a French song as he walked proudly down the hallways, knocking on everyone's doors to alert them of their time left. I couldn't help but to smile again. Jo and I shared the same birth year, but he was much livelier than me. My young and wild side died down as I spent more time with Rafael. He spent so much time keeping his composure, even when he was angry, that I learned to keep my emotions hidden as well. I was never too good at it though. That's why I had to remove candid photos of us off the Internet so much. Those candid pictures triggered something in me and brought on an unbearable sadness and anger.

"Rafael..." I stated lowly. It was more to keep myself from lashing out.

He stood up, rubbing his lower back. "Yes?" he asked.

"How could you?" I whispered.

He didn't hesitate to answer right away. "What?"

"Matt told me what you did. I never knew you to be a person to ruin another's life," I sighed, shaking my head in both disappointment and shame.

"I had to Belleza."

There was a desperation in his eyes. He was no longer calm and collected, but looked mad, almost on the verge of insanity. His guilty conscience was kicking in. I didn't even cry yet and he's about to break.

"Don't. You didn'thave to do anything. I know it's wrong of me to not tell you about Matt. I know, but you've been deleting all my e-mails, calls, and texts from him?! What else have you done?!"

"...Do you remember the text you received from him at the airport after Aruba?" I nodded furiously. "That was not him, I told someone to send that to you."

"Matt never knew I was back until after I left."

"The carnation you found, that was me."

"Oh my god." He walked towards me, his fingers shakily tried to reach for me. "Don't touch me! You ruined my friendship with him! It took me two years to find him again! You never even cared about how I was for the past two years! I was constantly breaking down in front of you and you looked away as though the tears were invisible. I hate you."

"How was I supposed to feel? I would lose you to him if I allowed you two to talk. I had to do something. Besides, having him in your life would only hurt you, it always does. I care about your happiness."

"You care?! You-"

"Yes, I care. I remember telling you once that your happiness is the most important thing to me. This is why I took these."

I craned my neck, trying to see what he was searching for in his travel bag. He pulled out a manila folder, and from inside that, a set of stapled papers.

"It's your choice if you want to stay or go," he stated, showing me the papers.

I looked at his hands, gasping. Those were divorce papers...and he already signed his name.

**

It was then that I finally realized Franchesa was here in the flesh. "You came back," I whispered, pulling her inside to hug her to death. I made a note that her suitcases were sitting outside my door. No one would take them though.

I unlatched my arms from her shoulders and put some space between us so I could look into her eyes. "The first time you left, I almost died. Being without my best friend was harder than remembering I have to breath to survive."

"But breathing is a subconscious action," she replied.

"Yeah, and your friendship was always there but then you went away."

"That's so corny."

"Shut up. I'm trying to tell you how I feel and you keep ripping on me. It's not my fault this shit sounds stupid to you. I'm not the romantic type."

"I'm sorry go on."

"Once you went away with him for that summer, I finally realized how much I need and love you. I realized I could never stop loving you. I realized that I've loved you since we were 15. I can't picture myself with anyone else but you. Please stay and don't ever go."

"Matty, I won't. Haven't I told you countless times I love you?"

"Yes. I love you."

She wasn't supposed to pick me. I didn't pick her. I chose for her to have happiness. She isn't supposed to turn it around and pick me!

"I love you."

It was then that she finally understood the meaning behind my words.