Promise Me This; Never Let Go

Franchesa

I should've guessed that he wasn't going to show up. He didn't look the least bit interested when we were talking to each other. Actually, it was more of me saying everything and him standing there passively. I wanted so badly to smack his stupid aviators off his face, but I was too busy trying to give him as much info about when to meet up to initially care.

After Rafael's tennis match (that he won), I raced up to our suite, took a shower, and waited for Matt. Rafael had a press conference right after his match that takes nearly four hours due to all the reporters, photographers, and the after party that took place almost every night. It was complimentary from the US Open. It's an insider type of thing so if you knew about it, you were very important.

Three weeks have passed since Matt ditched me, yet again. I lost hope and felt so hurt, so angry. But if he thought I was giving up, he's very stupid. I'm persistent, and I'll do anything to see him again. Maybe that's why I'm sitting here in a random Starbucks in New York City again. I figured that if I waited here long enough, I might see him pass by. It's a strong possibility that he isn't even in the East Coast anymore, but my luck has been crazy. Seeing Matt after two years wasn't supposed to happen. I'm going to believe this is a sign.

I threw my cup of coffee away in the trash and took a quick peek out the window again. Bingo. Matt walked into the coffee establishment with those usual aviators on his face. I pulled him outside before he could even go towards the register and place an order. I hailed a taxi, pushed him into it, climbed inside, and told the driver the address. It was so strange how he let me; in basic terms, kidnap him. He didn't argue or even say one word. We were both silent throughout the entire ride there.

It was faster than I remembered to get to the hotel. I kept pushing Matt into the right direction of the hotel, into the elevator, out of it, and towards the suite. I unlocked the door and waited for him to go in first. I slammed the door shut behind me as I threw my bag onto the bed.

I was so deathly angry with him, but my barriers cracked once I realized how long it had been since I'd seen him. I broke down and hugged him even though he's an all time jerk. I felt his body stiffen and he didn't respond what so ever.

I took a step back and looked at his face. "What's wrong?" I queried.

He looked down at me as though I was a small child. I hadn't seen him in two years but that did not mean that he would scare me. I've known him for too long. Still, he continued to glare as he slid his shades off his face and held them in his large hand.

"How does it feel to be stood up like I was?" he answered back with a question through gritted teeth.

"What are you talking about?" I was on the borderline of hysteria, I swear.

"You never showed up at the skate park."

"I did so! I spent the whole damned day there!"

In my mind, I pictured this to be different. I pictured us to talk it out and hug. I did not picture this huge argument commencing. I should've expected this though. We were treading over dangerous waters with knives in our back pocket.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he mimicked childishly. He threw his hands up into the air and folded his hands into tight fists. "I waited for your call, text, smoke signal, something! I waited half a year for you! Then I find out from Ken that a month AFTER you came home from Aruba, you made the dumb ass decision to go with him on tour permanently! Don't you dare start blaming me and saying this is my fault! You're the one who destroyed our friendship! You! I did not do crap! I waited for you. I waited."

Tears were running down his face. I hadn't seen him cry for so long, I couldn't move when I saw the steady streams that fell from his hazel eyes. Then, the words he spat begin to hack at me. Little by little, I felt the pain in each word he screamed, and I could almost feel the heartbreak in them.

"This is your fault too! You never called or even sent a stupid e-mail!" I screamed.

"Shut up! I have! I sent so many in one month alone! And did you ever reply back to them? Not even once."

"You've sent e-mails?!"

"Yeah I did! Don't try to act stupid! You've ignored me for two years!"

I sat down on the bed without much humor. Tears finally escaped my eyes. I found that funny since I usually cry a lot yet Matt shed the first downpour.

"Why would I want to lose contact with my BEST FRIEND?" I whispered softly.

At this point, my eyes remained glued to my lap. I wasn't supposed to give him the satisfaction of knowing I let him get to me. I didn't care that he began with a stone exterior before he began to melt. The fact that he didn't believe me hurt like hell. I'm sure that we've been through enough, why would I lie about anything?

"Fran."

I raised my eyes to him, scared, as though he was a scolding father. He walked over to me and knelt in front of me like I was a child. This felt like a father-daughter moment.

"When you were in Aruba, do you want to know what I came up with?" That was his way of saying sorry, I guess. Because trying to get my mind of our previous argument would take a very huge distraction. When had it been so hard to say sorry to me?

Still, I shook my head and wiped at my cheeks. He smiled weakly and closed his eyes. His face was concentrated as though he was trying to remember something. Finally, he opened his eyes, his hazel eyes showing so much sadness, I wanted to cry again.

"It's been awhile since I last saw your face. That smile always made me feel right at
Home. I try to tell myself that I don't miss you and I'm getting pretty good at it. It's just at night, staring up at the starless sky with tears rolling down my cheeks, that I know it's not true."

Damn it, I started to cry again. I hugged him and cried on his shoulder. "I missed you so much you stupid jerk," I growled even through the tears.

"I'm so sorry Fran, I really am," was exactly what he said, exactly what I needed to hear. And I was right. He was looking up at the stars when I was.