Promise Me This; Never Let Go

I have to make it up to her. I've gotten way too far to do this all over again. I make too many mistakes; I know this very well. I need someone to guide me in the right direction so I know what to do. The only problem is that no one wants to help me.

I called all of them, and they all told me that this is something I have to figure out on my own. Well, if they haven't fucking noticed, when I figure things out on my own, the result does not end well! I swear it's like they all forgot about high school and everything that happened then.

I hurt her every time I don't want to hurt her. I push her away so she doesn't have to hurt. All that does is make her hurt even more. When I hold onto her and accept that I will hurt her one way or another, my stupid mouth ruins it all. I think that no matter what I do, I'll fuck up. I guess I'm going to have to throw all of this out the window. That would be why I'm standing in front of her penthouse suite door. When she actually let me in, I was surprised. I told her she ruined my life, and she still lets me in. I am one lucky son of a gun.

I knew she wanted me to say something first. The thing I say ultimately effects how this would all go. If I said the wrong thing, it would lead to another fight. If I said the right thing…I don't know what would happen. I don't say the right thing most of the time.

"When was the last time you had fun?" I asked seriously.

She shrugged. "Rafa's party a few months ago."

I shook my head. "No. I mean REAL fun. Something you enjoy."

"Uh…"

I got her. "Yeah, we're going to the water park. Go pack some clothes."

I was a little nervous that we were here. Sure, I suggested this place, but I wasn't thinking rationally when I voiced it.

"Matt, calm down. They're not going to tackle you down because you're M. Shadows. People respect the fact that you're here to have a relaxing and fun day like the rest of them," she explained as we placed our towels, sun block, and flip-flops down by two lawn chairs.

I nodded. "Sorry, it's a lot different in Huntington."

"I figured it would be. Of course there would be a lot of people asking for your autograph there, it's your home town."

"It's yours too!" I pointed out, hoping she would get the hint. She needs to come home. We all miss her, especially Ken. The kid barely goes a day without talking about her. He had it worse than me. Then again, they have a very close relationship. I wouldn't blame him for missing her so much.

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered. "Now, let's go down some tubes!"

Fran grabbed my hand and pulled me along with her. The only thing I felt was this strange tingly sensation. I had never felt that before, and it freaked me out. I've held hands with her plenty of times. I never got that weird jolt. Why did I feel it this time?

"Matt!" she huffed. I looked at her. "You are not budging. I wanna go down the 50 foot drop."

I gave her what she wanted and we slid down the 50-foot drop. Someone wasn't as brave as they thought. She began to scream her lungs out as we slid down faster and faster down the blue tube.

"This was a bad idea!" she screamed, holding onto the handles of the inner tube tightly.

I chuckled and wrapped my left arm around her waist while keeping my right hand on one of the handles. Somehow, that made her lean back against my chest. Right before we reached the end of this ride, she looked up at me upside down and gave me a smile. I wasn't expecting that.

When we splashed into the water, I stumbled and swallowed a mouthful of chlorine water. It tasted disgusting and I was gasping for air by the time I rose from the water. I noticed she had already put the inner tube back into the pile by the side of the pool.

I waded over to her just in time for her to turn around. My arms wrapped around her waist and I pulled her against my body. She was so tiny and warm. Hugging her always made me so happy.

Fran threw her head back and laughed. "Matt let go!"

"No!" I grinned.

"Why not?"

"I missed you too much," I mumbled into her hair.

"I missed you too, but we have to get out so other people can."

I let out a heavy groan. A few minutes of alone time had never been this difficult.

She reached for my hand again, lacing her fingers with mine this time and led me out of the water. It was weird how there was a strong possibility of her getting caught acting affectionate with me, yet she didn't care. It didn't even look like it bothered her.

"What if we get caught?" I asked, showing her our laced fingers.

"We won't," she smirked.

She was pushing her limits. "He's famous," I began to explain, "I'm positive they'll want to take pictures of you too."

"Yes, but I have connections. It comes with being a photographer."

"Oh, so I can do this," I said and kissed her on the cheek. I think I saw a blush! She was trying so hard to hide it. "And I won't get in trouble?" I finished, referring to the kiss.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Yes, but don't push it."

"What's so wrong about an innocent kiss on the cheek?"

"The fact that it wouldn't just be an innocent kiss on the cheek."

"You know me too well," I smiled.

"Let's hope it stays that way."

Well, that killed the moment. Now that I think about it, she never told me she's in love with me. I'm just going on with the belief that is. I mean, she would never lead me on. At least, I hope she isn't.

"Come on! I wanna go into the wave pool!" she suddenly declared and dragged me towards the pool. By the time we reached the pool, the lifeguards announced the waves would return in 15 minutes. Mostly all of the pool goers swam back to their lawn chairs and applied more sun block. Franchesa seemed happy they all did this at the same time because she pulled me into the waters. She was the demanding one today. I didn't mind though. I've never been here so it makes sense that she was the one to take us on different rides.

Once we reached the deep end, I went underwater and swam around her. From beneath the water, I could see that she was desperately trying to find me. This scene reminded me of when we were at the beach that summer before junior year.

I swam around a few more times to throw her off track before I jumped up from the water and caught her from behind. Squeals and giggles filled my ears as she tried to get away. "You're not going anywhere," I told her as I turned her around so she was looking at me.

She immediately stopped laughing. Her face turned serious. No matter how many times I had seen her, her eyes always amazed me. They were the perfect shade of green. They reminded me of a perfect summer day. Any perfect summer day starts with a kiss.

I gulped and leaned down. She knew it was coming. We both knew this was coming.

"I love you!" she blurted and kissed my cheek. Then the crowd of kids screamed and ran towards the water. She swam away with them, robbing me of a kiss on the lips.

After we got out of the wave pool, things mildly calmed down. Things didn't get awkward, but we weren't having fun like before. It could've been because it was starting to get late and we hadn't eaten since this morning. I shook the thought away that it might have been because she didn't want to kiss me.

Eventually, we were on the highway, on our way back to her hotel. Every once in awhile, when I had the chance, I would sneak a peek at Fran. I was driving for only 20 minutes when she fell asleep, curled up in her seat. I suddenly developed this strong urge to keep driving until we reached California. I had the choice to when the highway split off into the local streets and the interstate. I slowed down to 50 miles per hour and groaned.

Do I keep straight or take the turn? Do I take her to her husband or take her home? Do I choose her happiness or my happiness? It sucks; I chose her happiness.

Franchesa

Everything was fine until we reached that wave pool. I don't think it was a good idea for me to say I wanted to go there. I knew when Matt dove underwater and hadn't resurfaced after a few seconds; I was in for a huge surprise. He was going to attack me, but I wasn't sure when. That's the thing I hated the most! I don't enjoy surprises too much.

That's exactly why when I felt his arms trap me; I screamed and laughed at the same time. It was exhilarating. Strange, but it was! Matt had a way of making me feel young again. Sure, only two years passed, but I felt so weathered and old. Traveling all the time under stressful conditions doesn't help when I needed a good laugh.

My laugher died down when I looked into Matt's eyes. His hazel-green masterpieces had such intensity in them, I felt goose-bumps rise along my arms. He was looking at me with such a passion, I was almost afraid to turn away because what if that was my imagination? I wanted to believe that Matt is in love with me. He's said it, but what if his feelings changed?

When I saw that he was leaning down—the classic move all guys made—I panicked. I couldn't kiss him. That would mean I would ever consider cheating on Rafael.

"I love you!" I said and ducked a move to kiss his cheek. Then the waves began again. I swam away, short of breath. Did that really almost happen?