The Life of a Teenager

You go on a trip
I stay with a relative
You come back and flip
'Cause I didn't do shizz
But I'd much rather
For someone who seems to care
The fact that you WON'T stay home for me
Is bigger than me staying here
You lie constantly and it hurts me so bad
But you don't even seem to notice
That I'm randomly sad
I can't seem to understand how you don't see your effect
My heart hurts every time you leave, like you'll never come back
It makes me feel so unimportant
Like I don't matter one bit
Like those people out there
Are way better than I could ever get
But you don't see, no not ever
Not at all
Because by the time I round up the courage
You're too far to hear my call
Yeah, it hurts me in ways that only you could manage
But I can't mend it ever, not with the biggest bandage
It will follow me through life
A fear of people leaving me
A fear that I'm just not important
Enough to ever be
More than someone to live with
Someone to see
Because, yeah, I love you Mom
But do you really love me?
You say,"I'm your mother."
I can do this, I can do that
But I'm certainly starting to wonder
If indeed that is a fact
Because sometimes I feel so alone
That I yearn for fame
And sometimes I want boarding school
Away from all this rain.
Because the rain gives me headaches
It messes with my brain
But water itself
Is the place from which I came
And it makes me so sad
Cry even in the dark
Because it's so hard to deal with
So many many things being wrong.
And I leave you with this
Mother, dearest, oh my mom
Would I change a thing?
No, my creativity would be gone.
And so would this poem
And the songs your disappearances have inspired
Because without the struggle, pain, heartache, and numb
Why would I be? When it comes to reaching my dreams
I inquire.
It keeps going on
The words flow out of me so
My only worry
Where exactly will they go?
Will they go unheard
Unthought of, uncared
Or will you finally realize
Your leaving me scared.
And when I grow up
I refuse to be a case
Insecurity here, yup
And the fear of my own face.