The Life of a Teenager

I am not depressed,
That is what I taught myself to say.
But every time I look,
It is offered to me in a new way.
My friend put together a document
for me to read
but this stupid new school
Has blocked it from me.
I want to run
into my room
and pull out my blade
And go out like on a loom.
My mind is dark
a gloomy place
It hurts so much
I can't look myself in the face.
How do you hide
When in a heart you wish to confide?
How do you dream
When your self-control is bursting at the seams?
How do you hope
When you are dangling off a cliff by a rope?
I want it bad,
That is why I write.
The urge is inside me
So much I am losing my sight.
Someone please help
Reach out for me
The urge is so great
I am wearing shoes of fire
Trying to ice-skate.