A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

"RYAN!!!!! LETS GO!!! YOURE GOING TO BE LATE!!!" Brendon yelled at his oversized boyfriend. They had yet another doctors appointment, and Ryan was taking his sweet time making himself pretty. 

"STOP YELLING AT ME ASS-FACE!! IM COMING DAMN IT!" Ryan yelled back. He then came waltzing out of the bathroom, looking oddly out of proportion with his huge belly, when the rest of him was as thin as they come. 

Ryan wrapped his arms around Brendon's waist an began crying into his shoulder. 

"What's wrong babe?" Brendon asked sweetly. 

"I-I can't find m-my silver e-eyeliner!" he sobbed. "I can never find anything! N-Nothing is ever where I put it, a-and I just know things aren't g-going to go well." 

"Because you can't find you're eyeliner?" Brendon questioned. Bad idea. 

Ryan pulled back and looked at him with a tear streaked face. 

"YOU'RE NEVER ON MY SIDE!!!!!" he just about screamed. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO PUT THIS GOD DAMN THING INSIDE ME, AND YOU COULD CARE LESS! YOU PROBABLY WANT ME TO GO DIE!!" he ran out of the room sobbing. 

Brendon stood there looking a bit stunned. He still wasn't quite used to his mood swings, and it's been how long now?

He decided that it would be a good idea to go find his boyfriend before Brendom decided to appear. 

He found Ryan curled up on his bed crying. He walked over and sat on the edge on the bed, putting his hand on Ryan's shoulder. 

"Ry, hun, come on. You know I don't want that. I would never want you to die. I love you so much. And I'm sorry. I suppose this is all my-" Or Brendom's "-fault. Please, let's get up and go to the doctor." Brendon murmured sweetly into his ear.

Ryan sat up and gazed at his boyfriend. He then grabbed his face, and gave him a sweet, romantic, but sloppy kiss. 

"I love you too." he said. "Let's go." And with that, he got up (very slowly) and waltzed out of the room. 

Brendon sighed, and tried very hard to fight back his annoyance with Ryan's mood swings. Lately, Brendom had been taking every chance he could get to take over Brendon's body. If Brendon was the slightest bit irritated, he would lose control. And with the baby on the way any everything. He figured it would be best if Brendom could make the least amount of appearances possible. 

~*~

"Well Ryan," Dr. Stump said glancing over his clip board. "I have some news for you." 

Ryan's eyes widened and he dug his nails into his boyfriends arm. 

"Don't worry. It's not bad news." Dr. Stump assured. Ryan released his grip on my arm, and Brendon let out a breath of relief. 

"It seems you're a few days over due. And, well, since you're not a, uh, woman, and can't give birth the old fashion way, were going to have to preform a C-section." 

"Wait, when?" Ryan asked. 

"Now." The doctor said nonchalantly. 

"WHAT?!" Brendon and Ryan both exclaimed in unison. 

Brendon began to hyperventilate. He wasn't ready for mini Brendom. 

"Yup. Ryan, I want you to come with me to the delivering room. Brendon, you can wait in the lobby." he said motioning for Brendon to leave. 

"What? No! He can't leave!" Ryan protested. "I need him there with me!" he began to whine like a little child. 

Brendon could feel his irritation coming on. He didn't want to leave his love alone to give birth. How could he possibly just sit out in the lobby while his Boyfriend is giving birth?!

Brendon grinded his teeth, and dug his nails into his palm. No. He had to stay in control. He couldn't let Brendom take over. 

"What is this? The 1950's?! I NEED TO BE BY HIS SIDE DAMN IT!" he yelled as he was being forcibly pushed out of the room. 

"Mr. Urie, please don't make us call security." The doctor pleaded. 

Once Brendon was out of the room, he was furious. And what happens when Brendon gets upset? That's right. 

Brendom. 

Brendom sat in the lobby, tearing pages out of books and magazines when Spencer, Jon, and Pete all rushed into the room. 

"We got your call." Pete said. "I cant believe he's actually having the baby." 

"By having the baby, I assume you mean having his stomach sliced open to have the illegitimate child of two gay rock stars retrieved from his womb  covered in guts and blood?"  Brendom said, continuing to rip the pages out of books. 

"Womb? Wait. Men don't have wombs. Right? How is the baby in there?" Spencer questioned. 

"Well-" just as Brendom was about to explain how it's possible for a man to have a child, he vanished, and Brendon reappeared. 

Brendon looked around at the expectant faces of his friends. 

"What's going on?" Brendon asked. "And why does it look like there was a book genocide in here?" 

Before anyone could answer, a nurse came out into the lobby. 

"Mr. Urie?" she asked. "Would you like to see your child?" 

Brendons eyes about popped out of his head as he shot off down the hall, into the delivery room place. 

He  walked in, and saw Ryan smiling down at the baby in his arms. Brendon tiptoed over so he could get a peek at the baby. He became nervous for fear that the baby might be an evil little thing, considering who his real father is. 

But as soon as the baby came into view, he wondered how anything that tiny and defenseless could possibly be evil. The baby had big honey colored eyes, full lips, a cute little nose, and dark brown, almost black hair. 

The baby looked up at Brendon, and when he let his eyes, he immediately loved him. 

"AAAWWWWW HOW CUTE!" Jon and Spencer both exclaimed  in unison, running over to the baby. 

"What should we name him?" Ryan asked. 

I got down in my knee, and grabbed his free hand. "I thunk we should name him after you." I proposed. 

He looked thoughtful for a second. 

"No. I think we should name him after you." he argued. 

"Why me? You're the one who had go throughout all the pain of a C-section, it should be you!" He countered. 

"But you had to put up with my mood swings for nine months!"

"Why don't you just name him after both of you and shut up already?" Pete offered. 

Brendon and Ryan both looked at eachother. 

"PETE YOU'RE A GENIOUS!" Brendon exclaimed. 

"It's settled then. His name is Ryden." Ryan said. 

"I wasn't being serious…" Pete chimed in, but they ignored him. 

"I like it." Spencer said. 

"Me too." Jon said. 

"Ugh." Pete grumbled, annoyed. Just then, Dr. Stump Walked in. Before he even said a word, Pete walked over, wrapped his arms around his waist, and gave him a very… passionate kiss on the lips. Patrick didn't seem to object. 

They all stared at him in shock. He was married to Ashley Simpson after all. 

"Uh…" Jon finally broke the silence. 

The broke apart and Pete looked at us with a smirk on his face. 

"I guess I didn't tell you that Ryans Doctor and I were a thing, but uh… could you not tell Ashley about this please?"