Help, I'm Alive

“Emerald, I need help!”

“Emmy, what should I do?”

“Em, what can I do?”

“Emerald, should I really do this?”

“Em—”

“Guys, calm down with the questions. I can only take so much,” I said, frustrated. They’re giving me a headache.

“Sorry,” they all said together.

“It’s okay. I just need some time alone.” I gave a believable fake smile, to make sure they didn’t see I was in pain. My mom threw a huge book at me, and punched me in the stomach this morning. So, I’ve be hurting a lot.

“I have to go, bye,” I said, leaving. I was going outside, where we eat lunch. Ms. Lucky was at a meeting, and since it was my free period, I didn’t need to do anything.

The fresh autumn air helped me think clearly. I sat on a pair of swings. The school had a little park/playground.

I have so much on my plate, my parents, poor little Kayla, my cutting issues, my friends, the counselor program, and then Parker [A/N: he’s the guy she’s helping].

Don’t even get me started on that. It’s been four days already, and he doesn’t cooperate with me. He just keeps changing the subject. The more he does this, the more time it takes. Then, Ms. Lucky is going to go to some drastic measures.

Just thinking about that makes me sick.

I looked around, making sure no one was around, and got out a bobby pin.

I pressed it to my skin and immediately I started bleeding. I thought about my happy place, though.

I heard scrunching leaves, and I fumbled pulling down my sleeve. But, it was too late, because I saw Parker looking at me weird.

I dropped the bobby pin when I saw him. Did he see?

“Uh, what are you doing here?” I asked quickly.

“Well, um, no one was at the counseling room, so I just decided to come over here, and were you just cutting yourself?” he asked, getting to the point.

“No,” I defended yet lied.

“That’s what I saw, and your arm is bleeding,” he said, looking at my arm. I looked at it, and it was bleeding. I needed to go to the bathroom and clean it up.

“Crap,” I muttered. I needed to do something to it, so it could stop bleeding.

I started to go leave, but I stopped when Parker offered pieces of toilet paper. I took it slowly, not used to this help, muttered a “thanks” and applied pressure to my wrist.

“So, you cut yourself?” he asked, eyeing my wrist.

I bit my lip, thinking to answer it or not. I couldn’t tell him. It was a secret, something no one should’ve none, but he already knew. I think he just wanted me to say it.

“Yes,” I said, giving in.

“Interesting, I think we can arrange an agreement,” he stated.

“What?” I asked.

“If I keep quiet with your problem, will you tell that lady that I’m doing better?”

“W-What? I can’t. I have to help you, for real. I’m sorry but no.” I was astounded by his plan. It was convincing, but it was something I couldn’t do.

He smirked. “If you don’t agree, I could tell on you. Therefore, your secret would be out and YOU would have to get the help. We wouldn’t want your secret exposed to the whole school, would we?”

I didn’t know he could be so mean. But, I had to go along with this. Everything would turn out horrible if my secret got out.

“Fine,” I agreed, hating myself, though.