Title Track

It starts with eye contact.

Eyes are the window to the soul, or the window to the genitals, or something like that.

Eye contact, and they’re weak in the knees.

Then, I saunter over, swinging my hips, or licking my lips, or unintentionally rhyming.

We talk, we dance, we touch, eventually we take our clothes off, and we fall in love.

Love will be the death of me.

The first time I fell in love, I was seven.

She was a blonde bombshell in the fourth grade, I was a gangly second grader.

Four square on the play ground, her ball rolls over to my feet, and I bring it back to her, bashful and giggly.

Tens, hundreds, thousands if times after that, I fell in love.

By senior year, I’d fallen in love with nearly half the school, and had my heart broken every time.

I saw Brendon four lockers down from me the beginning of the second semester.

He was smiling to someone, laughing loud enough for me to hear over the noise of the hallway.

For weeks I watched him, trying to work up the courage to say something. Me, ever the shy, awkward love-struck fool.

Introductions, Hi, my name is Ryan, what’s yours?

I was in love for three years.

Then I left, breaking my own heart, wandering the streets of LA by myself. I was alone, for the first time in years.

That is, until Alex found me at a dull job working as a cashier at a super market.

He introduced me to the world.

I was in love, again.

Alex took me everywhere, showed me everything, introduced me to everyone.

Including Z.

Z, an awkwardly dressed, socially inept, female version of myself.

And again, I was in love, only hurting myself with the conflict of my emotions.

I fell in love with every person I met. Tripping on coke and the constant feeling of sexual highs, I fucked anything with a pulse, and never spoke to them again.

I’d had a habit of never speaking to my former lovers after we’d parted ways.

Except for Brendon.

Brendon has always been the except. He’d been there the longest, and I’d missed him after I’d left.

I love Alex and Z.

And I may still love Brendon.

Fuck my sanity.

I love being in love.