Bursting Red

A/N: I have changed the POV on the story for two reasons. 1) It's easier to write for me and 2) The story is heavily based on Nezumi's reaction and personal feelings. Something that is easier to portray from this POV. I hope the changes don't affect anything :D Read on
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No matter how hard I scrubbed away at my raw flesh, the dirt, blood, and soot just kept coming.

I was desperate to clean myself, wipe away all remnants of yesterdays chaos, but as of now it wasn’t looking likely. I had woken up alone and in a place different from the one I fell asleep in last night. No doubt Deidara wasn’t far from coming back but it still seemed to rub my nerves harshly. This was all just a bitter reminder of the crime I had nearly helped commit, every person I let down and every promise I had broken. The filth of yesterday was all just another thorn in my side so it seemed.

The sun beat down brightly, drenching the soft leafed ferns in a golden glow and causing the stream to glisten happily. My knees were settled in the soft, wet earth and the grass tickled my tattered and torn up legs, it was a pleasant day to say the least.

It was a shame all I could see were the violent shades of burning heat, a splatter of red and orange that I couldn’t shake out from behind my eyes. Yesterday seemed so far away. So vague and surreal it was almost as if it really didn’t occur. But every crimson stain that was whisked away by the current was enough evidence to remind me that yesterday was as real as anything. My home was nothing but a memory now. And a sudden pang in my heart throbbed when I realized I would never get to step foot through the gates of Iwagakure again. But I didn’t blame Deidara.

I wanted to, I needed someone to blame…but he wasn’t the one. What I wouldn’t give to wrap my slender arms around him and whisper in his ear, “Aishiteru, Deidara-kun.” He was my only ray of light in this dismal world, so what if I saw everything through rose tinted glasses. Things were better like this. In a way, I could almost thank him for setting me free. A feat I wouldn’t have been able to achieve on my own. Treading footsteps stilled me like a doe and I stared into the water with wide eyes. I couldn’t defend myself, at all. If I was attacked here and now…I was as good as dead.

“Nezumi-kun?” With a sigh of relief I slumped into my shoulders, my heart still thudding a hole in my chest. Wincing, I slowly managed to upright myself to meet the blonde boy who stared at me with worry lines. “I didn’t expect to find you up so soon, un.“ A gentle smile cut across his features and a sudden warmth bloomed within my chest. Even through all this chaos he was able to smile like he genuinely cared. I brought my sight down to his hands, noticing that his bandages had been replaced and once more I was probed with curiosity. He noticed my staring and brought my attention away by brandishing an apple close to my face, grinning while he did so. “Hungry?” Cautiously, I took the apple, said my thanks, and bit into the crisp skin. He watched me curiously as I ate slowly, I turned away and examined a near by bird in order to avoid his sharp stare. “How are you feeling, hm?” He bit into his own apple lazily and raised an eyebrow as I offered a small shrug. His single blue eye stared a hole into me and I glanced up to ease the tension. My answer was apparently not enough as he furrowed his brow and stopped chewing. I noticed plainly that he still brandished the Iwagakure shinobi headband, biting my lip to stop myself from asking why.

Hadn’t his allegiance been broken?

“I’m just a little shaken is all.” He glanced down, and if I wasn’t mistaken he almost appeared to be feeling guilty. I finished off my apple and waited patiently for him to finish his before I caved in to my many questions. “What happened to your hands?” I asked quietly, reaching out slightly to take his resting palm. He slowly pulled away from me, trying to be coy about it but making it more obvious than it should have been.

“Just a little side effect from the Kinjutsu.” Merely a mutter, I caught on to something that hinted at being much more than a ‘little’ side effect. Once again I extended my hand, a silent offer. When he looked at me pleadingly and slowly placed his palm in mine, I gave a small nod and topped it off with a reassuring smile. I turned his hand over and noticed as I had last night a very pronounced indentation in the very center of his palm. Gently, I ran my hand over the defect, feeling through the bandages slight mounds and something soft. He winced noticeably and I blushed deep, shyly mumbling an apology. “I don’t want you to see it, un.”

“Why not?” Cupping both my hands under his palm, I watched his eyes shift nervously from left to right. My nerves twitched and for once, I was frightened at what I would find. Deidara wasn’t one to be shy of anything, usually. Glancing back down at his hand I widened my eyes in fear as his bandage almost appeared to shift.

“It’s not…normal, hm. Trust me, you wouldn’t like it.” His voice got slightly icier and the inflection in his tone made me uncomfortable. Did he really think I was so shallow as to be scared away by a flesh wound? Shaking the intruding thought I tried my hardest not to show my feelings had been bruised. His eyes softened as he noticed my failed attempt to hide my feelings, using the back of his other bandaged hand, he ran it down my cheek and lifted my chin to meet his focus. “I don’t want to frighten you onna, un.”

“You wouldn’t. After all I…” I couldn’t finish it. I couldn’t tell him I loved him so. Looking curious he gave me that signature head tilt and frowned. “We’re a team, right?” I added quickly to attract his attention elsewhere. He looked nervous once more and I breath a sigh of relief inwardly. With a subtle nod of approval from him I took his bandage wrapping and started unraveling. He focused on my face, looking for any sign of a negative reaction. Something I was trying my hardest not to do. But he was making me nervous and I hoped he wouldn’t take it the wrong way. I almost didn’t want to continue…but I had to start what I had finished. More and more of his palm came to the be seen, the edges of deep bruises also appearing.

“Nezumi-wait!” But the bandage had already slipped off and fell to my lap. I didn’t speak, and he watched nervously with wide, fearful eyes. “I didn’t know…” A thin line ran across his palm slowly opening wider and wider until I could see the unmistakable pearl of finely cut teeth running into a vicious grin.

“Is that…that a-” I tore my hands away from him with a yelp as a wet, pink tongue slipped out and ran up my thumb. I stumbled back, scooting with my mouth open wide and my eyes even wider. He looked hurt but at the moment I couldn’t even wrap my mind around the fact that Deidara had a mouth firmly planted in his palm. Wait, in both his palms. Swiftly, he snatched up the bandage and firmly clenched it in his fist. Standing up and storming away with an angry look plastered on his face. I couldn’t even find the strength to tell him not to leave.

I wrapped my arms around my knees and cradled myself. This was too surreal. My fragile state of mental awareness couldn’t handle all this bizarre change of events. Suddenly, I found myself scrambling upwards. I had hurt him. I couldn’t even crush a spider without feeling guilt weigh heavy on my shoulders. And now I had gone and offended the one person who had taught me the meaning of freedom. Surely I owed him more than this. “Deidara-kun! Wait, please!” I called out. I didn’t see where he went and instead followed the path I was on until I stumbled on the shaking blonde shinobi. He was grunting and wrapping his hand over again in agitation. With a shout of anger he threw the bandage down and clenched his hand into a fist. Wincing as he did so. “Deidara-kun…” I whispered. He snapped his head at me and shot me a sharp look. I lowered my head with guilt, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s why I didn’t show you in the first place, hm. You’re disgusted by me!” He snarled and turned his head back forward with a loud grunt.

“I’m not disgusted Deidara-kun, it just took me by surprise is all. Here let me help,” I stepped up to him as he eyed me suspiciously. Grabbing his hand he gave a yelp of surprise and narrowed his eyes at me, still not pulling back however. I kneeled down and picked up the bandage, firmly wrapping it around his palm. Not to be harsh, but I was glad to see it covered again. He glanced up at me with soft eyes and let out a sigh. His other wrapped hand grazing my cheek and I tried to hold back the cringe that was creeping closer.

He settled a swift kiss on my forehead and grinned, forgetting our small spat immediately. “There’s a village about a weeks worth of travel north, un,” he raised his eyebrows and smiled wider, “but I can get us there in less than three and a half days.”

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I eyed the large clay bird hesitantly, frowning as it looked at me from the side. “Is it safe?” I asked quietly, looking up at Deidara through long lashed. He shrugged nonchalantly and turned to appreciate his own creation.

“I guess it’s time we find out, hm?” I was starting to feel a little skeptical about trusting Deidara with my life, after all, this new Kinjutsu was a forbidden technique and with it came risks. Some known and unknown. The latter of the two playing the field right now. I gave a weak smile at him and nodded, being extra careful to not offend him.

If I had sprouted two mouths on my palms, I’m sure I might be a little sensitive too.

I was impressed to find out that the mouths ingested Deidara-kun’s white clay that he held in his hip pouch, spitting it out with what he explained to me, was chakra kneaded into it. From there he would sculpt it and control it to do his bidding. Or something like that. I found the whole process a little bothersome, but to each his own. My only concern was what he was planning to do with it considering he had the power to burn anything at whim. Surely he wouldn’t harm another human being with this?

I couldn’t see another way around it, but I gave it a chance because I wasn’t one to break my faith off so easily. From a safe distance I watched him climb a top the large bird, securing himself till he knew it was steady and then offering a hand out to me. “He won’t explode?” I asked innocently, quite nervous at having to ride the thing. He brought two fingers to his mouth and grinned.

“Do you want him to?” He laughed as I took a step back from him, my nerves going from uneasy to unbelievably taut in a matter of seconds. “It won’t explode, I don’t think, un.” For a slight second he looked concerned before he shrugged it off and re-offered his hand. “I told you Nezumi-kun, nothing will ever hurt you again. You’re safe, un.”

It was easy to believe him when he spoke so kindly to me. Unlike anything anyone had every cared to try, he won me over with his tone of voice alone. Carefully, I stepped onto the large bird and wrapped my hands tightly around Deidara’s mid section once we were seated, closing my eyes before the bird even left the ground. Once we were in the air I found the courage to open my eyes.

A very stupid decision on my behalf.

The world spun dangerously and at this point, cruising building tops in chilling rain was looking awfully peaceful. To make matters worse, I glanced down at the ground below us. Quite far below us I might add. My hands tightened and I forced my face to nuzzle into Deidara’s thin outer robe, pushing back the frightened tears that threatened to leak out.

His musical laugh filled the air and that alone reassured me, things were fine. After all, I had no choice but to get used to it. I had a feeling we would be getting around like this for some time soon after.