Status: Active.
Bursting Red
Welcome home.
“Run.”
I didn’t think she’d leave so suddenly, so willingly. Without thinking I raised my hand to catch her, to stop her from leaving me. Because I couldn’t do this. Itachi cast a curious glance at me before turning his attention to the stick legged girl that was stumbling through the towering trees. “Nezumi…” The words left my mouth before I could register that I was speaking her name and really, I couldn’t contain the anger and the pain that rushed through my body. My hands forced themselves deep into the pouches on my hips, forcing clay into my palms and praying they would hurry and give me the kneaded clay. Let me mold them, let me explode them. Let me show Nezumi what it feels like to watch everything important to you melt away, how could she leave me so easily? I felt the clay slip in through my fingers and I used the small time frame I had to mold crude looking birds, and I through them in the air watching them come to life right before my eyes. “Are you going to-” Itachi started but stopped immediately once I shot him a challenging look.
All our plans, they were now nothing now that I was in control. The birds sped through the trees and I clicked the scope and watched her run, she looked back at me and in that moment I saw my madness as she always did. But it was too late, my hand had already gone up and I had already said those words. I was a fucking monster. The second bird exploded and through my scope I saw it exploded not far from her legs, after that all I saw was fire. “Is she-no I couldn’t have possibly killed her, right?!”
“No, she’s still alive.” Itachi said from my side, his red eyes probing the area in front of him carefully. By those words I collapsed onto to ground, the dirt smothering my cloaked knees. How could I not stop myself? That girl, my entirety, the girl I loved more than anything I tried and nearly managed to kill. Was this really what she saw every day and night? Well then I didn’t quite blame her for running away.
After all, I had promised her I would get her away from this hell. Not too long ago I remembered that look on her face when I agreed to follow the Akatsuki, if she could come with me. Not only did I ruin my own pathetic life I stole Nezumi’s precious chance to get away as well. “Itachi, so she’s moving, hm?”
“No, she’s not moving, but that small chakra of hers is still flowing. She seems…unconscious.“ Itachi closed his scarlet eyes and turned around. “I assume you can handle it from here?”
“And just how will you explain my absence, hm?!” I didn’t mean to snarl but it came out as so. Itachi glanced at me and even from behind his collar I could tell he was pitying me, he thought me pathetic. I knew I couldn’t trust someone like him. He turned his eyes up towards the sky and closed those scarlet orbs as rain fell upon his sharp face.
“You’ve just been forced to murder your lover, it’s understandable you’d want to be alone for awhile.” I watched him walk away silently, playing two sides seamlessly. It was respectable at the same time it was infuriating. But I let it fall away, slowly, I stood back up and made my way into the trees. Each branch I stepped on sounded ten times louder than it should have, aside from the trickling flame it was all I could hear. By my foot trotted the first bird I had created, it walked aimlessly around, pointlessly almost. I caught sight of Nezumi’s limp body and before I knew it I found myself crying quietly.
“Nezumi-kun, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, hm. I can’t-” I couldn’t look at her anymore. Her face was bruised and although she didn’t fall too hard she lie amongst the rock and bits of broken trees. The new dress I bought for her was torn above the knee, she looked so fragile lying there. I brought my hand up to my mouth and with a whisper the bird expanded in a plume of smoke. I put as much as my chakra into the bird as I could get away without being noticed by the others and bent down to pick up the thin girl. Her head fell limp in my arms, lanky, dirt covered hair falling over my cloak in swirling patterns. I wanted so desperately to shake her awake, to run away with her right there back to Iwagakure. But I knew I couldn’t. Lightly, I bent lower and pressed my cold lips against hers, by now the rain was matting down my hair and washing away the bits and pieces of dirt and ash the remained splattered on her face. The bird by my side opened it’s large mouth and carefully I placed her inside. I wouldn’t risk her falling off the back of the bird, she never did get used to it like I did. I almost told her I would see her again but I knew I wouldn’t so I didn’t even bother trying. The bird kept its mouth partly open and upon my command the bird swept up into the sky, heading towards Iwagakure on the chakra I had loaned it. “Nezumi, I love you.”
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It was the wind that woke me up. My eyes shifted open and I saw the passing of cerulean sky against the cotton ball clouds. Upon instinct I let out a loud scream and slapped my hands to my eyes. I hated flying, Deidara knew that, I never liked it when he put me on the bird while I was sleeping. “Deidara, this is-” but then in an instant it all came crawling back. He wasn’t here and the last thing I remembered seeing was the flame from his explosion. Yet here I was, well and alive and obviously moving through the sky inside one of Deidara’s creations. He told me before I ran that he would send a bird to take me back home, but how did I-my eyes dropped and I held back the tears that prickled at my eyes. He saved me. He put me in the bird and made sure I got away unharmed, it was very unlike him but at the same time I knew he risked everything to do this for me. The bird was hollow and dry on the inside and momentarily I worried if the bird lost its chakra would I just fall from the sky? I shook the thought from my head and leaned back, watching the clouds flutter by like butterflies in the spring. It lulled me back to sleep sooner than I would have expected.
Maybe it was just because I was having worried thoughts before but my dreams were filled with images of me falling back through the sky and well, dying. It wasn’t pleasant so I settled on waiting patiently for my destination to arrive, fully awake.
It was strange, being here without Deidara, heading back towards Iwagakure in the mouth of a bird. What would people say to me? That I was a monster for leaving my family behind? That I was some kind of whore for running away with a teenage delinquent? It was probably best that I didn’t think about it, instead I leaned forward, wrapping my thin fingers around the mouth of the bird and sticking my head partially out. Trees, mountains, sky. It was all the same terrain as before, I really had no idea where we were. Or better yet how far Iwa was from the Akatsuki’s base. Suddenly a thought hit me, I had escaped with knowledge of the Akatsuki; faces, names, locations. It was probably the reason their leader wanted me dead in the first place. If any of them found out I had escaped and lived, they would either come after me or Deidara, maybe both. I really still wasn’t sure how valuable Deidara was to them, he had a unique skill sure but how that would benefit them went straight out of my innocent head. I sighed loudly and fell back, sprawling out inside the bird like an impatient child.
My reactions were all too calm I realized, sooner or later the reality of it all would hit me and maybe I would officially lose my mind. All I could do was wait for that truth to come hurtling at me. No Deidara, no family, no home. Any normal person would have at least started to think about the facts by now, maybe I was just desensitized to it all, how fortunate would that be.
Even if my good natured heart was all I really had left, if I lost that to would that make me no better than- I closed my eyes instead. I had plenty of time to think about this, after all I was stuck in the mouth of a bird (that very well could stop flying at any second and completely kill me, but that wasn’t a priority now either), I had all the time in the world to consider my options.
I recognized the terrain enough around me as the earth country, knowing the hideout was in the river country helped my geographical knowledge out a small bit. I had, as far as I could tell, a day and a half left in this thing. But how long this ‘thing’ had left was beyond me. Unfortunately for me, chakra was never something anyone taught me about, how long it lasted, what it could be used for. All I was ever told was that my own chakra resembled that of an alley cat. Small and useless, as Deidara once put it.
Time seemed to slip by slowly, before I could register however, the sky turned from a light blue to a deep midnight black, the clouds covering up the silver moonlight so I couldn’t see a thing from where I was standing. I prayed it wouldn’t rain, I knew for a fact Deidara’s clay beings didn’t do well in heavy rain. I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my chin firmly on the edge of my knees. It was cold and humid and really, all I could think about was how Deidara was doing, if he was even still alive or still sneaking about my fake death. “This just isn’t fair,” I mumbled to myself, letting the tears slip silently down my face and onto my legs. “Not at all…” I fell into some kind of comatose then, it wasn’t sleep but I wasn’t fully aware of my surroundings. I was completely numb, empty almost.
Like everything good was completely gone and I was absolutely alone.
So the realization hit me, did it?
It remained that way through the night until the sun came up under a dreary blanket of grey skies. Slowly, I crawled across the bird to look out of the mouth and then I saw it, a large stony village resting along the center of hard mountain peaks. Iwagakure in all it’s cold glory, waiting for my arrival. “Deidara-kun…” I don’t know why I said his name, it sort of slipped out and when it did my eyes lowered even more. “Please…” But I didn’t get a chance to finish my thought, the bird started to lower itself and for a slight second I really thought it would dissipate into a cloud of smoke right there in the sky. Instead it circled the sky until it found a place to land among the trees where it could safely let me out. Unsure of myself, I crawled over the edge and stepped onto the rocky, thinning forest floor. It flapped it’s large bulky wings and set off into the sky, bursting into a plume of smoke as it rid itself of it’s chakra less shell. Leaving me in the middle of the forest still a good five hours from to Iwagakure gates. My mind was set on auto-pilot, step once, step again, don’t fall. It was a repeat gesture as I stumbled through the trees, every now and then letting my hand brush against the wood like it was a reminder of real this was.
I was left out here all alone. No Itachi-san, no Deidara-kun, who would help me now? My arm was bleeding again and I realized then it had been numb for the past few hours. Not that it mattered, I was sure to die out here in the forest, five hours away from my almost home. I was delirious and it felt good, Kami knows I wouldn’t have made it as far as I did if I had been fully aware. My knees scraped against a rock as I collapsed onto the broken stones, bleeding at the knees I held my face in my hands and screamed.
Alone, miserable, confused, at the time screaming felt good. It was a reminder, it was my own defeat and my acknowledgment of how stupid I had been. It was my end, completely. Each sob tore through my body, half screaming half crying, but complete mania. By the time my own cries reached my brain I couldn’t even tell it was me. The earth was wet and the rain began to fall, matting down my hair and torn dress. Yet I still cried, I couldn’t even find the strength the move myself to better shelter. Maybe this was the right way, maybe this was how it was all supposed to end, in vein. I said his name again, I screamed it. I screamed his name until my throat hurt and I couldn’t talk anymore. At some point I passed out, whether it be from exhaustion, starvation, whatever it was took me over on the forest floor. Leaving me for dead…
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Beep-beep-beep
“Poor girl, did you see what he did to her? I knew that kid was no good.” The man that spoke talked with an air of haughtiness, like he knew this whole time what the outcome would be. “Have her parents been informed she’s back?”
“Not yet, we’re waiting till she regains consciousness to inform them.” The next voice was higher, feminine and sweet. I kept my eyes closed, afraid to open them. Was I not dead then? “It took three hours to fix her arm and leg, they showed signs of tearing on multiple occasions, if it weren’t for those stitches she did have in she would have lost her arm due to severe infection. She’s lucky, that one is.” Is that what they were calling it these days, luck? This was anything but luck, I should have died. If anything this was just more cruel punishment. “She’s been saying his name for three days now, I wonder what he did to her.” Fingers brushed my cheek.
“I’m surprised he didn’t kill her, bastard. I hope he’s dead out there.” The higher voice agreed and quietly they left the room. I noticed as I opened my eyes that I was in the Iwagakure central hospital. I reached a hand up and groped at my face, pulling out the oxygen tube that was put into my nose, it was irritating to say the least. Slowly, I sat up, pulling the IV along with me as I shifted my heavy arm. With my free hand I pushed my hair out of my face. I was most definitely alive and being nursed back to health. Then I remembered what she said, three days I’ve been saying his name? I’ve been here for that long, dead asleep? I threw my legs over the bed and pushed the blankets off of me, the nurse came back into the room just as I was trying to get the IV from my arm. She pushed me back easily, ignoring my angry yells.
“How did I get here?! Answer me!” I screamed but she kept forcing me down, her hand reached down and she clicked a button that delivered more drugs. More stuff to keep me down and quiet. “Where is my Deidara-kun!?” I knew he wasn’t here, but I needed him more than ever. “Please!” My vision started to blur out and I heard the nurse call more people in, apparently I had ripped open my new stitches as I forced myself around.
What a welcome this was.
I didn’t think she’d leave so suddenly, so willingly. Without thinking I raised my hand to catch her, to stop her from leaving me. Because I couldn’t do this. Itachi cast a curious glance at me before turning his attention to the stick legged girl that was stumbling through the towering trees. “Nezumi…” The words left my mouth before I could register that I was speaking her name and really, I couldn’t contain the anger and the pain that rushed through my body. My hands forced themselves deep into the pouches on my hips, forcing clay into my palms and praying they would hurry and give me the kneaded clay. Let me mold them, let me explode them. Let me show Nezumi what it feels like to watch everything important to you melt away, how could she leave me so easily? I felt the clay slip in through my fingers and I used the small time frame I had to mold crude looking birds, and I through them in the air watching them come to life right before my eyes. “Are you going to-” Itachi started but stopped immediately once I shot him a challenging look.
All our plans, they were now nothing now that I was in control. The birds sped through the trees and I clicked the scope and watched her run, she looked back at me and in that moment I saw my madness as she always did. But it was too late, my hand had already gone up and I had already said those words. I was a fucking monster. The second bird exploded and through my scope I saw it exploded not far from her legs, after that all I saw was fire. “Is she-no I couldn’t have possibly killed her, right?!”
“No, she’s still alive.” Itachi said from my side, his red eyes probing the area in front of him carefully. By those words I collapsed onto to ground, the dirt smothering my cloaked knees. How could I not stop myself? That girl, my entirety, the girl I loved more than anything I tried and nearly managed to kill. Was this really what she saw every day and night? Well then I didn’t quite blame her for running away.
After all, I had promised her I would get her away from this hell. Not too long ago I remembered that look on her face when I agreed to follow the Akatsuki, if she could come with me. Not only did I ruin my own pathetic life I stole Nezumi’s precious chance to get away as well. “Itachi, so she’s moving, hm?”
“No, she’s not moving, but that small chakra of hers is still flowing. She seems…unconscious.“ Itachi closed his scarlet eyes and turned around. “I assume you can handle it from here?”
“And just how will you explain my absence, hm?!” I didn’t mean to snarl but it came out as so. Itachi glanced at me and even from behind his collar I could tell he was pitying me, he thought me pathetic. I knew I couldn’t trust someone like him. He turned his eyes up towards the sky and closed those scarlet orbs as rain fell upon his sharp face.
“You’ve just been forced to murder your lover, it’s understandable you’d want to be alone for awhile.” I watched him walk away silently, playing two sides seamlessly. It was respectable at the same time it was infuriating. But I let it fall away, slowly, I stood back up and made my way into the trees. Each branch I stepped on sounded ten times louder than it should have, aside from the trickling flame it was all I could hear. By my foot trotted the first bird I had created, it walked aimlessly around, pointlessly almost. I caught sight of Nezumi’s limp body and before I knew it I found myself crying quietly.
“Nezumi-kun, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, hm. I can’t-” I couldn’t look at her anymore. Her face was bruised and although she didn’t fall too hard she lie amongst the rock and bits of broken trees. The new dress I bought for her was torn above the knee, she looked so fragile lying there. I brought my hand up to my mouth and with a whisper the bird expanded in a plume of smoke. I put as much as my chakra into the bird as I could get away without being noticed by the others and bent down to pick up the thin girl. Her head fell limp in my arms, lanky, dirt covered hair falling over my cloak in swirling patterns. I wanted so desperately to shake her awake, to run away with her right there back to Iwagakure. But I knew I couldn’t. Lightly, I bent lower and pressed my cold lips against hers, by now the rain was matting down my hair and washing away the bits and pieces of dirt and ash the remained splattered on her face. The bird by my side opened it’s large mouth and carefully I placed her inside. I wouldn’t risk her falling off the back of the bird, she never did get used to it like I did. I almost told her I would see her again but I knew I wouldn’t so I didn’t even bother trying. The bird kept its mouth partly open and upon my command the bird swept up into the sky, heading towards Iwagakure on the chakra I had loaned it. “Nezumi, I love you.”
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It was the wind that woke me up. My eyes shifted open and I saw the passing of cerulean sky against the cotton ball clouds. Upon instinct I let out a loud scream and slapped my hands to my eyes. I hated flying, Deidara knew that, I never liked it when he put me on the bird while I was sleeping. “Deidara, this is-” but then in an instant it all came crawling back. He wasn’t here and the last thing I remembered seeing was the flame from his explosion. Yet here I was, well and alive and obviously moving through the sky inside one of Deidara’s creations. He told me before I ran that he would send a bird to take me back home, but how did I-my eyes dropped and I held back the tears that prickled at my eyes. He saved me. He put me in the bird and made sure I got away unharmed, it was very unlike him but at the same time I knew he risked everything to do this for me. The bird was hollow and dry on the inside and momentarily I worried if the bird lost its chakra would I just fall from the sky? I shook the thought from my head and leaned back, watching the clouds flutter by like butterflies in the spring. It lulled me back to sleep sooner than I would have expected.
Maybe it was just because I was having worried thoughts before but my dreams were filled with images of me falling back through the sky and well, dying. It wasn’t pleasant so I settled on waiting patiently for my destination to arrive, fully awake.
It was strange, being here without Deidara, heading back towards Iwagakure in the mouth of a bird. What would people say to me? That I was a monster for leaving my family behind? That I was some kind of whore for running away with a teenage delinquent? It was probably best that I didn’t think about it, instead I leaned forward, wrapping my thin fingers around the mouth of the bird and sticking my head partially out. Trees, mountains, sky. It was all the same terrain as before, I really had no idea where we were. Or better yet how far Iwa was from the Akatsuki’s base. Suddenly a thought hit me, I had escaped with knowledge of the Akatsuki; faces, names, locations. It was probably the reason their leader wanted me dead in the first place. If any of them found out I had escaped and lived, they would either come after me or Deidara, maybe both. I really still wasn’t sure how valuable Deidara was to them, he had a unique skill sure but how that would benefit them went straight out of my innocent head. I sighed loudly and fell back, sprawling out inside the bird like an impatient child.
My reactions were all too calm I realized, sooner or later the reality of it all would hit me and maybe I would officially lose my mind. All I could do was wait for that truth to come hurtling at me. No Deidara, no family, no home. Any normal person would have at least started to think about the facts by now, maybe I was just desensitized to it all, how fortunate would that be.
Even if my good natured heart was all I really had left, if I lost that to would that make me no better than- I closed my eyes instead. I had plenty of time to think about this, after all I was stuck in the mouth of a bird (that very well could stop flying at any second and completely kill me, but that wasn’t a priority now either), I had all the time in the world to consider my options.
I recognized the terrain enough around me as the earth country, knowing the hideout was in the river country helped my geographical knowledge out a small bit. I had, as far as I could tell, a day and a half left in this thing. But how long this ‘thing’ had left was beyond me. Unfortunately for me, chakra was never something anyone taught me about, how long it lasted, what it could be used for. All I was ever told was that my own chakra resembled that of an alley cat. Small and useless, as Deidara once put it.
Time seemed to slip by slowly, before I could register however, the sky turned from a light blue to a deep midnight black, the clouds covering up the silver moonlight so I couldn’t see a thing from where I was standing. I prayed it wouldn’t rain, I knew for a fact Deidara’s clay beings didn’t do well in heavy rain. I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my chin firmly on the edge of my knees. It was cold and humid and really, all I could think about was how Deidara was doing, if he was even still alive or still sneaking about my fake death. “This just isn’t fair,” I mumbled to myself, letting the tears slip silently down my face and onto my legs. “Not at all…” I fell into some kind of comatose then, it wasn’t sleep but I wasn’t fully aware of my surroundings. I was completely numb, empty almost.
Like everything good was completely gone and I was absolutely alone.
So the realization hit me, did it?
It remained that way through the night until the sun came up under a dreary blanket of grey skies. Slowly, I crawled across the bird to look out of the mouth and then I saw it, a large stony village resting along the center of hard mountain peaks. Iwagakure in all it’s cold glory, waiting for my arrival. “Deidara-kun…” I don’t know why I said his name, it sort of slipped out and when it did my eyes lowered even more. “Please…” But I didn’t get a chance to finish my thought, the bird started to lower itself and for a slight second I really thought it would dissipate into a cloud of smoke right there in the sky. Instead it circled the sky until it found a place to land among the trees where it could safely let me out. Unsure of myself, I crawled over the edge and stepped onto the rocky, thinning forest floor. It flapped it’s large bulky wings and set off into the sky, bursting into a plume of smoke as it rid itself of it’s chakra less shell. Leaving me in the middle of the forest still a good five hours from to Iwagakure gates. My mind was set on auto-pilot, step once, step again, don’t fall. It was a repeat gesture as I stumbled through the trees, every now and then letting my hand brush against the wood like it was a reminder of real this was.
I was left out here all alone. No Itachi-san, no Deidara-kun, who would help me now? My arm was bleeding again and I realized then it had been numb for the past few hours. Not that it mattered, I was sure to die out here in the forest, five hours away from my almost home. I was delirious and it felt good, Kami knows I wouldn’t have made it as far as I did if I had been fully aware. My knees scraped against a rock as I collapsed onto the broken stones, bleeding at the knees I held my face in my hands and screamed.
Alone, miserable, confused, at the time screaming felt good. It was a reminder, it was my own defeat and my acknowledgment of how stupid I had been. It was my end, completely. Each sob tore through my body, half screaming half crying, but complete mania. By the time my own cries reached my brain I couldn’t even tell it was me. The earth was wet and the rain began to fall, matting down my hair and torn dress. Yet I still cried, I couldn’t even find the strength the move myself to better shelter. Maybe this was the right way, maybe this was how it was all supposed to end, in vein. I said his name again, I screamed it. I screamed his name until my throat hurt and I couldn’t talk anymore. At some point I passed out, whether it be from exhaustion, starvation, whatever it was took me over on the forest floor. Leaving me for dead…
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Beep-beep-beep
“Poor girl, did you see what he did to her? I knew that kid was no good.” The man that spoke talked with an air of haughtiness, like he knew this whole time what the outcome would be. “Have her parents been informed she’s back?”
“Not yet, we’re waiting till she regains consciousness to inform them.” The next voice was higher, feminine and sweet. I kept my eyes closed, afraid to open them. Was I not dead then? “It took three hours to fix her arm and leg, they showed signs of tearing on multiple occasions, if it weren’t for those stitches she did have in she would have lost her arm due to severe infection. She’s lucky, that one is.” Is that what they were calling it these days, luck? This was anything but luck, I should have died. If anything this was just more cruel punishment. “She’s been saying his name for three days now, I wonder what he did to her.” Fingers brushed my cheek.
“I’m surprised he didn’t kill her, bastard. I hope he’s dead out there.” The higher voice agreed and quietly they left the room. I noticed as I opened my eyes that I was in the Iwagakure central hospital. I reached a hand up and groped at my face, pulling out the oxygen tube that was put into my nose, it was irritating to say the least. Slowly, I sat up, pulling the IV along with me as I shifted my heavy arm. With my free hand I pushed my hair out of my face. I was most definitely alive and being nursed back to health. Then I remembered what she said, three days I’ve been saying his name? I’ve been here for that long, dead asleep? I threw my legs over the bed and pushed the blankets off of me, the nurse came back into the room just as I was trying to get the IV from my arm. She pushed me back easily, ignoring my angry yells.
“How did I get here?! Answer me!” I screamed but she kept forcing me down, her hand reached down and she clicked a button that delivered more drugs. More stuff to keep me down and quiet. “Where is my Deidara-kun!?” I knew he wasn’t here, but I needed him more than ever. “Please!” My vision started to blur out and I heard the nurse call more people in, apparently I had ripped open my new stitches as I forced myself around.
What a welcome this was.