Whisper Softly & Tell Me You Love Me.

I couldn't help but stare at him in this moment. My mind had something triggered and my eyes couldn't stop staring at him. We'd been in the studio for two weeks, now. Call it cabin fever, maybe... I was checking out one of my best friends. But, I'd caught him staring at me a handful of times in these last few weeks, as well. It was quite nice to observe his every action. He was beautiful, to put it in the simplest of all terms.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when his eyes caught onto mine. I looked away as quickly as I possibly could. One of the worst things in the world is to have somebody catch you staring at them... Of course, Shane HAD to catch me... But, he caught me staring, and I caught him staring back. I guess that's what you would call even? Or just flat out awkward? I got up from the chair I was sitting at and walked to the door. I had a feeling Shane was reading my thoughts. I had to get the fuck out of that room, now.

Once I was outside, I sat down at a chair on the patio. I reached over to the table and grabbed my pack of cigarettes. Yes, I smoke. I don't need you lecturing me, mom. I already hear enough of the bullshit about it fucking my voice up. No, I don't really care, because I know I sound pretty amazing, regardless.

That's beside the point, though. Did he really catch me staring at him? Like, yeah, I love looking at him. But, you could tell I was staring at him. Not a glance, a full on stare... I lit up my cigarette and heard the door open behind me... Fuck.. Please don't be Shane... I turned my head around to see that it was only my best friend, Dennis. No sweat. Denny was easy to talk to, for the most part. He was also awful at reading me, so, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't notice anything...

"Dude, what's wrong?" He sat down in the chair next to me and grabbed his cigarettes. Fuck. He was normally horrible at reading what I had on my mind. Why did he have to be smack on about something being wrong right now, of all times? I smirked at him, shrugged my shoulders and took a hit off my cigarette. The only way to make myself look less obvious was to play it cool, low and chill.

"Nothings wrong!" I spoke with confidence in my voice. It was too obvious that I was indeed covering something up. I sent him a huge smile and sighed.

"Lie to somebody else, Milke..." He scanned the table for the lighter that was in my hand. I threw it down on the glass table, causing him to jump a bit at the noise. I let out a giggle as he sent me a death glare before picking up the lighter and sparking it into a fire. I shook my head at him, finally. I wasn't lying. There was truly nothing wrong. Well, other than the fact that I have an obsession formed towards the bassist of my band. I wasn't lying when I said obsession is such an ugly word.

"Nothings wrong, dude. Seriously." I took another drag of my cigarette and grabbed the beer that Dennis had just sat down on the table, and took a long drink of it. Note to self: grab a beer when you decide to pick your lazy ass up and go back inside. You could use a reasonable amount of alcohol right now.

"Yeah right, Shawn. Somethings on your mind. I'm not as stupid as I actually seem." He reached over and snagged the beer from my hand as I was going to take another gulp of it. Bastard! "Shane told be to come out here and check on you." My eyes shot over to him and he shrugged his shoulders. Fuck. I knew Shane could read minds, or something literally insane and impossible!

"What did he say!?" I leaned forward and stared at Dennis. I was far too interested. I cleared my throat and sat back in my chair, again. He was going to know something was up with me...

""Cool it!" He smiled at me and took another drink of his beer. "He said you looked pissed off, and he got all fucking worried. But, he isn't allowed to up and walk out, because he's tracking bass for a few more minutes. And, yeah..." He took yet another drag from his cigarette and smiled at me.

"Worried..?" I curled up and hugged my knees. Why on earth would he be worried about me?

"Yeah... He said he looked at you and you kinda booked it the fuck outta there." He giggled a bit as he was speaking. Dennis was clearly intoxicated. Honestly, I was insanely jealous. Part of me was in the mood to be drunk right now, but part of my mind was elsewhere... Not on Shane at all... Hah. But, we didn't have to record vocals for another week or so. Denny and me could party it up and not really have anything to worry about. "I talked to him about you earlier today, though..." He smirked at me as I raised my eyebrow at him. I threw my cigarette into a small puddle on the ground and stared at Dennis.

"Well, you have to tell me something before I spill anything about the conversation I had with him." I was curious. What did I have to say? Dennis was my best friend. He knew everything about me... Mostly everything. Not my feelings for... Uhh.. Shane. Wait, FUCK! Dennis knows!!

"Tell you what?" Play dumb, Shawn. That won't fail you, this time. Play the idiot. I smiled at Dennis as innocently as I possibly could. You could tell that I was hiding something.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, dude. And until you say something about it, my lips are shut." He pretended to zip and lock his lips, then throw away an invisible key. I cleared my throat as I looked down at his hands. I was nervous. He'd be the first person I'd told and if Shane found out, he'd never want to talk to me again. I moved my eyes to connect with Dennis' as he nodded his head, indicating me to talk.

"Can I just be blunt?" I asked slowly, and he nodded at me again.. "I like Shane." I said it as quickly, but froze as I heard the screen door close. Fuck. I jolted my entire body around to see Jeremy standing there, looking at me in awe... Okay, I didn't say it... I actually, kinda sorta, maybe shouted it. But, fuck. Jeremy really had to walk outside now of all times and hear me say that!?

"You what!?" Jeremy looked at me with a slight smirk on his face. The expression on mine was the opposite, totally blank. I had no idea what to say to him. He didn't seem bothered by what I had justsaid yelled. I quickly turned my body around to stare at Dennis, who had a full on smile, from cheek to cheek.

"Is there something in this world I don't know about?" I looked back and forth between the both of them as I spoke. The smiles they wore now matched. Jeremy walked over to the table and sat in the seat to the left of me. Awkward silence folded over us as they both stared at me, with the smiles still plastered across their faces. To be honest, I felt like they had me under a microscope, or something...

"Yes," Dennis finally spoke up in his raspy voice. I raised my eyebrow at him in a pure form of curiosity. "Again, don't play stupid, Shawn." He said it simply as he got up from his chair and smacked my shoulder.

"What's that fuckin' supposed to mean!?" I yelled at him as he started walking away, back toward the door. He absolutely ignored my question. What the fuck?! I looked back over to Jeremy and gave him puppy dog eyes. He stared at me, and grabbed a cigarette from the same pack Dennis had. "Explain, now!" I snapped at him as he stuck his tongue out at me and lit his cigarette. "Realllllly fucking mature!" I whined and crossed my arms over my chest. I know I was contradicting myself. How dare you judge me.

"Breathe. Shit." He smiled and started fidgeting with the lighter that he had grabbed off the table. "So, the truth is out? You like Shane? Like, like him?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him as he looked around, feeling stupid for saying such a thing.

"I don't 'like, like' people, I'm clearly not in middle, anymore." I smiled, speaking the truth. I was 30, not 13. "And the answer to your question is, yes. I have feelings for Shane." I bluntly admitted to Jeremy, for the second time tonight. I was never really shy around that kid. I knew he understood me on a different level than a lot of other people in this world, simply because he had a brilliant head on his shoulders and knew when to use it.

"Shane has feelings for you, too." He mumbled under his breath as he exhaled smoke, hoping I wouldn't hear the words leave his lips. My eyes got wide as I stared at him. He stared at his hands, avoiding eye contact with me.

"You're fucking with me!" I squeaked out when I'd realized what it was that Jeremy had said.

"Dead serious. Go talk to him." My eyes widened as I threw my feet in front of me, and rose to my feet in seconds, knocking the chair behind me. I did a small dance and smiled huge at Jeremy. Needless to say, I did feel like I was in middle school, again. I ran over to Jeremy and kissed the top of his head about 5 times before running over to the back door of the studio.

I ran through the door and down the hallway to see Dennis talking to Shane. Ugh! I really do feel like I'm in fucking middle school... I slowly walked over to the couch about 5 feet from where Shane was sitting, tracking bass. He looked over at me. No, I wasn't looking at him. But, I could feel his eyes on me. I fidgeted with my fingers and began to chip off the pink polish on my left middle fingernail. I refused to look up at him.

"Shawn?" He tried to get my attention. I ignored him and continued to pick at my fingernail. I stared at their feet and smiled. I knew that would eventually get under his skin. Shane can't stand when people ignore him. "Shawn! Stop ignoring me..." He was still staring at me, I could feel it. I was a bit startled when a small triangle of plastic his the my forehead and fell into my lap. What the hell? I looked down to notice Shane's pick was sitting there. Little fucker threw it at me. I gave in and moved my eyes to his. "I knew that would get you to look at me." He winked at me and took his bass strap away from his body and removed the bass from his shoulder before sitting it down in the seat next to me.

He slowly stood up, keeping his eyes locked onto mine. To be honest, this was turning my cheeks a bit red. He gave me that look as he got up and headed for the door. It was the follow me, please look, with a morbid puppy dog effect to it. I hopped off the couch and followed Shane to the door. I was dreading this conversation, a little. I had no idea what he was going to say. Or, if these three were just fucking with me and playing a lame joke on me. I know Dennis said something to him when they were in here alone. Otherwise, Shane wouldn't have brought it to my attention that we need to talk.

Before I was out the door, I turned to my right and reached down for the mini fridge that was sitting on the floor to grab two beers for myself. I was gonna need this... When I was almost caught up to Shane, I noticed Jeremy walking back inside. Fuck. This was actually gonna go down right about now.

I sat back down in the chair that I had gotten up from about ten minutes before, and Shane sat down where Dennis had been sitting... "So..." He stared at me, but I, yet again, was too scared to look back up at him. The word was so small and simple when it flowed from his lips.

There was something about contact with him that made me so nervous. I was never shy... But, it was different this time around. He was Shane. Not just some girl who dated me for my status in the music industry, or anything like that. He was one of my band-mate. Who I just so happened to develop feelings for. I've never had feelings for a guy. That's practically unheard of if you actually know me. I usually always have a girlfriend. No, I'm not a whore, by any means. But, in pure confidence, I can say that I could get with a handful of girls in the snap of a finger. But, I'm not that kind of guy. I'd honestly give all that up for a chance to be with Shane. I'd still be insanely confident. I just wanna know what it would be like to date him. Not be just a random hook-up, like he occasionally does when we're on the road and such. But, actually have a chance to call him my boyfriend...

I shook my head to whip myself out of my thoughts. He could tell something was on my mind. It was obvious... "So, what?" I cleared my throat after I spoke. The tension between the two of us was insane...

"Dennis told me something..." My heart dropped. I wonder what exactly he said... Dennis frequently makes things a hell of a lot more dramatic than they actually are. He has always been like that, though. I honestly think I'm trying to distract my mind in any way possible from the current picture before me... Shane.

"Did he, now?" I was gonna play naive. He knew I knew exactly what he was talking about. But, the genius thing was to play stupid... Act like I had no fucking clue what the words rolling off his beautiful lips meant.

"You know, I can see through it, Shawn. Play dumb, babe. But, you know exactly what I'm talking about." The words were leaving his lips slowly, almost in a seductive tone. He was right. I knew what he was talking about. But, was I going to make that known? I sighed and twisted open the top to the beer I had grabbed. The thinking sip... That was always what cleared my mind. Taking a few sips of my drink, thinking through them, and finally speaking my mind.

"Dennis was probably right." I spoke softly, hiding my face behind the cold, brown bottle in my hand. "Whatever he said, was probably all the truth. Shane, I do have feelings for you." It almost sounded like a whisper in the calm wind blowing around us. I didn't want to look up at him. I had absolutely no idea how he was going to react.

I felt a hand slowly rest on my shoulder and Shane lean closer to me... I can honestly say I was terrified in this moment. He could say multiple things to me right now. Of course, my mind is assuming the worst possible things. He gets as close to me as possible, without completely invading my personal space and places his lips against my ear.

"You know, I have felt the same way since the day I set my eyes on you. I was waiting for you to say it first, though, because I didn't think you would take me seriously." He released his words in a whisper, sending shivers down my spine. My cheeks got hot as he grabbed a hold of one of them and turned my face to his. It was hard for me to do it, but I locked eyes with him as I felt a wave of electricity overcome my entire body. Shane slowly moved himself so he was leaning in front of me, over the side of the chair. He sent me a small smirk before closing his eyes and inching his face closer to mine. My eyes fell as I felt his soft, pink lips press against mine. This moment was everything I thought it could have been. It was perfect...

He deepened the kiss, but didn't force it on me. I put my hand on the back of his head and slowly ran my fingers through his soft, dark brown hair. I can honestly say that this kiss caught me off guard. I was expecting just talking everything out. Not his lips crashing against mine. But, I guess that's how it was going down. He pulled his face away from mine and slowly moved his thumb on my cheek. Our eyes stayed on each others as smirks appeared across our lips.

"I love you, Shawn Michael Milke."

"I love you too, Shane Donovan Crump."