But I Never Promised You

Opening the door, I saw Conner.

“What do you want?”

“Did I interrupt something?”

“Maybe, but why do you care?”

“I don’t, I just find it amusing.”

“Of course you do. You still haven’t told me what you want.”

“The guys and I decided to order pizza and rent a couple movies. I was sent over to see if you two wanted to join us.”

“Hold on.”

I left him standing in the doorway to go check on Alex. He had put his shirt back on and was sitting at the edge of my bed.

“Did you hear that?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Well, the guys want to know if we want to have pizza with them and watch movies they rented.”

“If I say no, would we go back to what we were doing earlier?”

I blushed, but shook my head. “It really is too soon, Alex. I want you, more than I’ve ever wanted a guy before, but…”

“But?”

“I’ve only known you for three days. And we’re dating now; we have plenty of time for this moment to happen later, after we’ve gotten to know each other. Truly know each other, I mean.”

I looked at my feet. I really hoped he wouldn’t be mad.

I heard the bed creak as he stood up. I soon felt his arms wrap around my and hold me close to him. “Even though I really want to, I respect your decision. I expected this far more than I did your previous action. To be honest, though, I would rather stay here with just you. Would that be okay?”

I nodded into his chest. “I’ll go tell Conner.”

He let me slip out of his arms, reluctantly.

I paused in the doorway to look back at him, giving him a small smile, before I continued to my front door.

“Alex said no and I’m not sure I want to leave him alone in my apartment.”

Conner winked at me.

“Stop that. We’re not doing anything. We’ll probably just watch a movie here and go to bed.”

“Uh-huh.”

I shut the door in his face.

I saw Alex leaning against the door frame, a smirk on his face.

“I wouldn’t believe you either. Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

He already knew that I hadn’t, but he made me curious.

I walked past him and into the bathroom, turning on the light. I faced the mirror, my mouth forming a small o upon seeing my reflection.

I was flushed and my hair was messy, parts of it sticking up at weird angles and others sticking to my face.

I wouldn’t believe me either, looking like this. I didn’t bother fixing my hair; it will just get messed up again once I go to sleep.

Turning off the bathroom light, I walked back to the living room finding Alex now sitting on the couch.

I sat down next to him. “If I ask you something, will you answer honestly?”

“Of course, I have no reason to lie to you.”

“The other day, when I ran into you on the street, why did you come after me?”

“I don’t know, exactly. I had this feeling that I would regret not talking to you. I’m really glad I listened. You are one of the most interesting girls I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. You’re intelligent, that much is easy to see, but you’re also reserved. I respect that. You want every moment to be special; you care about people, far more than you let on. Initially, anyway. Do you want to know what I like most about you?”

When I didn’t answer, he continued, “I love how I feel myself falling for you with each passing moment with you.”

I turned to look at him again, my face clearing showing my surprise at his confession.

“Do you mean that?”

He flushed. “Yeah, I do.”

I took his hand in mine. “I…I feel the same about you.”

I could see his eyes light up in happiness, or something else, I wasn’t quite sure.

I gave him a shy smile.

He reached his arm around me, pulling me so I was snuggling into his chest. I bent my knees, bringing my feet up behind me on the couch.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. Not that I minded, but I wanted to know more about him. He was still a mystery to me.

“Alex?” I asked hesitantly.

He looked down at me. “Hmm?”

“What’s your biggest fear?”

He sat there for a while, thinking. I was getting ready to ask him again, thinking he was ignoring me when he spoke up.

“Finding the person I could spend the rest of my life with and not being the right person for them. That would kill me. I don’t think I could handle loving someone with everything I had, to get turned away like it didn’t mean anything or that I wasn’t important.”

He sighed, but didn’t say anything more.

I gently squeezed his hand, showing I understood.

“What would I do without you, Mika?”

“Rape Jack every night,” I said, trying to return us to a lighter mood.

Alex cracked a small smile. “I’m serious. I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I lost you right now. I realize I barely know you, but there’s something sparking between us. I can feel it and I’m sure you can, too.”

I nodded, knowing he was right. There was just something about Alex that drew me in, like a magnet. What was worse, I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to. Regardless of the jokes or the occasional wandering eyes, Alex treated me well, better than any other guy I had been with had. It might not seem like much to anyone else, but it meant a lot to me.

I just wanted to crawl into his arms and stay there, possibly forever.

That wasn’t possible, no matter how much I wished it could be true.

He was in a popular band. One, I was sure; he wasn’t ready to give up on. That meant he would be going back to the studio soon or on another tour. And I would be here.

Alone.

I didn’t like the thought of this, and I shivered, involuntarily.

“What’s wrong?”

I wasn’t sure how to begin, but he had told me some personal things about him, so I figured it was only right for me to do the same.

“I was just thinking of something and I can’t say that I liked it. In fact, I really hate it.”

“What’s that?”

“When All Time Low goes back to recording or on tour again, whichever is first, I’ll be alone again.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, Mika. Whenever we leave, you’ll come with us. If you want to.”

I felt a tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach. I had what could only be described as butterflies.

I had gotten them before meeting Alex, but they were more intense with him.

I really wanted to continue the conversation we were having, but a yawn escaped my lips.

“Come on,” Alex said picking me up.

I tried protesting, but he paid it no mind.

“It’s getting late, Mika. We should be getting to sleep soon. You never know when Jack is going to wake up and come pounding on the door, waking us up as well.”

I just nodded as he tucked me into bed, before walking around to the other side and sliding in next to me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my neck.

For the second time tonight, he whispered, “Goodnight, Mika.”

“Goodnight, Alex,” I responded.

Shortly thereafter, I fell into a light slumber.