But I Never Promised You

We made it to the hospital just in time. It was eight thirty exactly when I signed in. They took me upstairs right away to prep for the surgery.

Alex wasn’t allowed in the room with me. Surprise, surprise.

“I’ll wait for you in the waiting room.”

“Alex, just go back to the apartment. I’ll call you when I wake up. It could be all day.”

“I don’t care.”

“Please? Just this once will you do what I ask?”

He thought for a moment, then finally nodded.

“Thank you.”

“I love you, Mika. Don’t forget.”

“I won’t. You won’t let me forget.”

He smiled. “I’ll see you later tonight, then?”

I nodded.

He bent down pulling me into a hug. When he let go, he gave me a final departing kiss.

I watched him walk back down the hall until the nurse wheeled me into the room. She helped me transfer to the bed.

“The doctor will be in shortly.”

“Thank you.”

After about a five minute wait, the doctor came in. He took my vitals and then set up the anesthetic.

“Miss Oliver, I don’t want you to fight the anesthetic. Just let it take you under. When you wake up, the surgery will be over and you’ll be able to have visitors until the end of visiting hours.”

I just nodded and watched him and he cleaned my elbow and inserted the IV.

I watched the IV start to drip into my arm. Strangely enough, it felt like I could feel the anesthetic enter my bloodstream. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling.

Waiting for the anesthetic to kick in felt like an eternity, when really, it was only about five minutes.

I counted the tiles on the ceiling. There were forty-three.

After that, I let my mind wander.

I mostly thought about Alex.

Just as I was about to go under, I had one last cohesive thought.

I love you.

***

I rubbed my eyes, blinking them a few times to get accustomed to the light.

I glanced around the room. It was a different one than the one I fell asleep in.

On the nightstand next to my bed was my phone.

I glanced at the time. Three fifteen in the afternoon.

I had been out for about six and a half hours. I couldn’t feel my hip yet, I guessed that had me on some sort of painkiller.

Alex was probably freaking out back at the apartment. He was probably driving everyone crazy. I giggled a little bit as I thought of Alex pacing back and forth, not being able to calm down.

I wanted to see if he would be able to wait until at least four o’clock to call my phone and see if I was awake yet. I was sort of surprised he hadn’t called already. Maybe he really did listen for once.

Probably not.

One of the guys probably talked him out of calling my phone at least five times by now. That really seems like the more plausible explanation.

I thought about texting Jack and telling him I was awake and not to tell Alex yet, but I bet he wouldn’t be able to contain his excitement. Especially, if he had consumed caffeine or vast amounts of sugar, which I’m betting he has.

That was Jack for you, though.

I smiled thinking of his other antics. That boy should probably be on medication, although, I’m glad he isn’t or he wouldn’t be nearly as much fun as he is.

I decided to text him anyway. If he tells Alex, then he tells Alex.

For all I know, they might not even be together right now.

Hey Jack, are you with Alex?

While I waiting for his response, I thought about texting Alex, too, but I figured I’d wait until I got Jack’s answer.

No, he went off somewhere after he got back from dropping you off at the hospital. Why?

Perfect.

I just woke up and I was thinking about him probably freaking out since he hasn’t called my phone yet. I was contemplating making him wait until four to know I was awake. It doesn’t sound as much fun anymore knowing he’s not with you guys to have everyone but him know.

After I sent my text to Jack, I called Alex.

He picked up after the first ring. He must have been staring at his phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Alex. I just woke up. If you want to come back to the hospital you can.”

“Okay.”

He hung up.

“That was weird.”

A few minutes later, it couldn’t have been more than five; Alex was knocking on my door.

“You didn’t exactly listen when I said to go back to the apartment, did you?”

He blushed and shook his head. “I drove the car back to the apartment, grabbed a bottle of water, and started walking up here. I’ve been sitting in the lobby for about four hours now.”

“Alex.” I patted the bed beside me. “You shouldn’t have come back so soon. You could have done something at home.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to get anything done. I couldn’t focus on anything for more than two minutes all day.”

“I think I have to stay overnight. I’m pretty sure they won’t let you stay with me.”

“Mika, you know I have to stay with you. It’s not like I’ll get any sleep if I’m not here.”

“No, Alex, I don’t know that. What I do know is that we haven’t even known each other for a week; yet, you’ve already declared your love for me and how you don’t want to leave my side. That’s not normal, Alex. I’m flattered, really, I am. But you can’t be with me twenty-four seven, though. Not even married couples are together that much. I’m not as fragile as you think I am, Alex. And don’t take this the wrong way. I love spending time with you; I just think we should spend less time with each other. My parents will be coming out here soon. If they don’t have plans to, they will once they get the bill from the insurance company. I’m just really worried about that.”

I took a breath to steady myself. “My dad is back in my families lives and I’m scared, Alex. I can’t be worried about what he would do to you. I can’t bear to think of what he would say if he knew the way you feel about me. Apparently, he’s sorry, but I can’t believe that. That’s the real reason Conner came out here. It wasn’t to get re-acquainted with me; it was to warn me that he wanted back in my life. I’m not ready to forgive him Alex. He ruined my childhood.”

I started crying and Alex came over, pulling me into his side. “Shh. It’s going to be okay, Mika. I won’t let your dad get anywhere near you. Conner seems like a good guy. If he really just wanted to warn you about your dad, why didn’t he just call? I think he’s sincere about wanting to be back in your life.”

I couldn’t talk anymore; I was sobbing myself into hysteria. Soon enough, I was hyperventilating and a nurse ran in to find out what was the matter.

“Miss Oliver, does something hurt? Do you need more painkillers?”

I couldn’t answer her, so I shook my head. I looked up at Alex, wanting him to explain. I didn’t want the nurse in here. I didn’t want anyone else seeing me like this.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but if you’re not in any pain, why are you sobbing?”

Alex looked up at her; actually, glared at her would be a better term. “She’s going through some family problems right now. If she needs any more painkillers, we’ll be sure to ring for you.”

She hesitantly walked out of the room.

Alex started stroking my hair. “Mika, you need to look at me for a minute. Everything’s going to be just fine. I’m not scared of anything your dad could say or do to me. All I want is for you to be happy. Please, Mika, calm down. There’s no use worrying your pretty head over it tonight.”

With Alex’s words, I was able to breathe again. I had stopped hyperventilating. Just being close to him was helping me so much. My tears were drying up.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I didn’t really mean it. I am just getting so frustrated knowing my dad wants to be back in my life and I have practically no knowing of when or if they will come out here to find me. It would have made me so happy if Conner had told me they didn’t have my address. I don’t want to move again, I like where I live, but I might have to. I don’t want to leave you and the guys.”

“Maybe you won’t have to.”

“What do you mean?”

“All Time Low could go back to the studio. Los Angeles is a couple hours away; your parents wouldn’t know where you went or when you’d be back. And unless your landlord let them into your apartment, they wouldn’t be able to stay for two months or however long we stay in the studio waiting for you to get back. And with families not all being good people in this day and age, you could call your landlord and tell her that you aren’t on speaking terms with your parents and to not let them in if they call.”

My face lit up. “Alex, you’re a genius. Wait, do you even have any new songs written that the band could record?”

“We have a few songs written and a few more almost there. We don’t have enough for a full album yet, but we could release an EP or just get the songs recorded for when we have enough written for a new album.”

“You would really do that for me?”

“I’d do anything for you, Mika.”

Since Alex is a few inches taller than me, I reached up gently pulling his face down to my level and kissed him. I pulled back and bit my lip.

He raised his eyebrow at me.

“Alexander William Gaskarth, I love you.”

I could tell he had been waiting for the moment when I would say it back to him, his eyes lit up; sparkling ever so brightly. And the goofiest smile was plastered on his face. I don’t recall ever seeing anyone so happy.

“You just made me the happiest man alive, Mika. I don’t think you realize.”

“I do, Alex. I can see it all over your face. You know, this isn’t the first time I’ve said those words to you.”

“I didn’t count that time. You were in an ambulance. If I hadn’t woken up, you would have called Jack or Conner and I’m sure you may have said the same thing to them if they had admitted to loving you, just for the sole fact that they were there for you.”

“You don’t know that, Alex.”

“But, it’s still possible.”

“If you say so.”

We sat in silence for a while after that, just enjoying being near each other. I fell asleep a short while later on Alex’s shoulder.