The Halfway Dead

The phone call came in at around three, while I had gotten in at around one. i couldn’t sleep last night (or this night) not with the disagreement and all that went with it. I had gone for a late night stroll and had dragged my feet the entire way. I didn’t like fighting with my friends, and especially not Mary. There was just something about Mary that could bring my emotions to a peek. But that’s what I get for being so hot tempered all the damned time. I didn’t usually let my temper out, but I had known Mary long enough for her to get under my guard.
It seemed like we were fighting a lot more than usual and the disagreement earlier had been particularly nasty. Ever since she had started dating Evelyn’s ex, our disagreements had become much more frequent. So I was especially pissed that some douche was calling me at three oh fuck a cock in the morning. I was sleep deprived and already in a mood. I felt sorry for whoever was trying to call me.
I let out a sort of half moan half grunt into the receiver as I worked up enough juice to give this unwelcome caller hell. But before I was coherent, I heard sobbing through the phone. Hell, my parents in the next room probably heard the sobbing through the phone. “Kayla!” someone croaked out. It sounded like Mary’s mom. Only other kid’s parents ever called me Kayla. And weird relatives. I was hoping for the first.
“Mrs. Greenhair?”I asked trying not to let my irritation seep into my words, my anger had faded as soon as I had heard the sobs. Well mostly, but I wasn’t going to sass Mary’s mom. Even if she was calling me before God got up. And in any case, I could only think of one reason why she would call me, and it wasn’t helping my temper. Great. Just. Great. Mary and I have an argument and her mother is the one to call. In the middle of the night.
“Mrs. Greenhair?” I tried again. That bed was looking very much inviting. Soon I would be back tucked between my panda sheets, fast asleep—
“Tell me that Mary is with you!” Greenhair was balling at the top of her voice again, and I could hear her tears hitting the phone like a hailstorm.
“Erm…no. she left the party with me but we went our own separate ways.” That was when we had our dispute. I heard Greenhair grown quite. But when she finally spoke it was the most miserable I had heard her yet.
“Then it’s true,” she said, “Mary is dead.”
I dropped the phone and it clattered to the floor. It was true. I knew that it was true. But it was wrong. Oh God! Mary was dead and it was all my fault. We got into a disagreement and didn’t walk home together and now she was dead because I wasn’t there when she need me the most. I tried to imagine my life without her and failed. It was the same thing that had kept me up earlier, the pain of her being out of my life for even an instant. Maybe I could handle not talking for a few days, but forever? she was gone forever. I would never see her smile again or crack a joke at the lunch table, or anthing ever again. I didn’t know what to do. How to live in a Mary-less world. After however many years of seeing her almost every day, the loss of her was a loss of part of myself.
I couldn’t stay here. Not when Mary was supposed to last night. It was going to be the best sleepover ever, because when she woke up it was going to be her birthday. No. I couldn’t stay. I pulled out my school bag from what seemed like forever ago, and began to stuff my crap into it. After cramming what seemed to have been all the art supplies in the house into it, I packed Mary’s birthday gift. It was a gift card to the bookstore and the drawing I had done of her. I couldn’t look at it yet, so I stuffed it in the sack as well, although with considerably more patience.
I also packed a change of clothes, some cash, my laptop, iPod, camera, and phone. The necessities. I brushed the dust off my bag, changed out of my sleep garments and tip toed past my parent’s room. I didn’t really need to though, if my parents could sleep through Mrs. Greenhair’s phone call, they wouldn’t be woken up by my creeping. I couldn’t tell them. I just had to leave.
The night was entirely too cold for the summer, and I shivered a little as I got into my car. Mary is dead. I started the car and headed out of the driveway and down the street. Mary is dead. She was never coming back. I drove into the city. D.C, was pretty much deserted at night, or at least this time of night. So I had no trouble parking right in front of some shabby twenty four hour dinner.
The patron looked me directly in the eye as she sat me in a booth. I didn’t care if I looked a mess. “Some coffee please; strongest you‘ve got.” I was sensitive to caffeine, and I knew I would be doing a whole lot of driving tonight. The patron nodded and left. I was the only customer there.
I looked at the backpack I had brought in from the car and slowly unzipped it, withdrawing the manila envelope with the picture of Mary. She was just how I remembered her to be. The Mary I knew. My coffee come and I downed it in almost one gulp before turning my attention back to Mary. I saved the eyes for last; saw the city reflected in them. When I drew it, I meant them to be New York, but now it looked to me like boring old Washington. Mary had told me once that she wanted to go to New York with me on a family vacation, and I had drawn the reflection as a purgative.
I left a tip, paid for the coffee and knew where I was heading next.