Happily Ever After

I smiled as I saw Jay steal the soccer ball, running down the field like demons from Hell were hot on his heels. “Go Jay!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, clapping my hands and letting loose a couple of loud whoops. I could scarcely see a tiny smile make its way onto his lips as he heard my supportive cheers. He pulled his muscled leg back and kicked the ball with ease. It flew through the air with a level of precision that would make a professional soccer player green with envy, easily falling into the net, out of the goalies reach.

My cheers were drowned out by the cheers of his teammates, hollering and laughing as they piled onto him. Poor boy must be getting squished alive underneath all of those heavy bodies. They eventually got off him when the coach blew the whistle, dismissing them from their early morning practice, giving them permission to shower so that they’d be nice and clean for the school day.

I waited on the bleachers, ignoring the snotty glares that the girlfriends of the other soccer players shot me. Some of them weren’t even dating the soccer players, they were all there for Jay, and they hated that I counted myself as part of his cheering section. Hell, I was his main supporter. I was the only person that he actually wants cheering for him. That temporarily puts me above them, which they hate, since the freak is considered more important than them. This is why I love Jay. He doesn’t care what anybody says, he only cares about what the people that are important to him say.

I smiled when I noticed all of the soccer players slowly make their way out of the locker room, furrowing my brow when I didn’t see Jay among the group. I quickly threw my backpack over my shoulder, descending the bleachers in two’s. Once I reached the bottom I ran across the field quickly, not wanting to be noticed, before I barged into the locker room. “Jay?” I called out softly, slowly looking through the rows of lockers.

I reached the last row, the row that I know Jay’s soccer locker is in, and froze in my tracks. Don’t get me wrong, the sight of Jay shirtless was enough to make me twitch down south, but that wasn’t what shocked me. What shocked me was that his torso was littered with bruises, but no matter how ugly they were they would never be able to mar his beauty. He glanced up at me before quickly pulling his shirt over his torso. I quickly walked up to him, hitching his shirt up even though he protested half-heartedly. I reached out, my finger tips tracing the bruises that now littered his God-like body. I felt sparks shoot through my finger tips, traveling down my entire body whenever I touched his skin, but I ignored them, my main focus was worrying about the man I was in love with. I heard him take a deep intake of breath, but I ignored it, not thinking it held any significance. “What happened?” I asked softly.

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled as he tried to pull his shirt over his torso again, my hands blocking his ability to do as he wished.

“No, it’s not nothing!” I protested as I continued to trace the outlines of the bruises with my eyes. I finally let him pull his shirt down, still staring at the spots that I now knew were occupied by the ugliest of black and blues. “What happened?” I asked him again softly, staring him in the eyes. I didn’t have enough energy to focus on how my heartbeat always sped up whenever I looked in his eyes, my thoughts too jumbled by the fact that my hero was hurting.

He stared me in the eyes, worry etched in his features. He’s the one who is in physical pain and he’s worrying how I’ll react. I love him, but sometimes I think his chivalrous ways are a bit insane. “I got into a little fight with some of my teammates.” He stated tiredly.

“What was the fight about?” I asked softly, fighting to keep my voice level, already knowing what the answer was since it took this much probing to get him to give me the simplest of answers. He just continued staring at me, refusing to tell me the answer vocally.

I took a deep breath, shaking my head, not enjoying the fact that he got hurt because of me. He pulled me into his chest, easily picking up on my discomfort, and rubbed soothing circles into my back in attempts to calm me. He is the one that is hurting, yet I’m the one that is getting soothed. Our relationship is truly one of a kind, but I wouldn’t want to live without it. “What did they say about me?” I asked softly.

He let out a deep breath, knowing that I would refuse to let him leave without giving me an answer. He could easily fight his way past me, but he wasn’t that kind of a person. He possesses an extremely big heart of gold, something that I love, but it tends to cause him a lot of trouble at times.

He stroked my hair lightly as I continued to cling onto him, slowly melting both of our worries away. “They were just talking shit.” He said angrily. “They were calling you a freak and a whore because you have a daughter, but they can’t say shit like that without knowing you, so I set them straight. I may have a few bruises, but they have much more damage than I do.” He said the last bit with a protective edge creeping into his voice. I can easily say he’s my hero, my protector, and I can’t live without him.

“Come on, man,” he said quietly, picking up his backpack and closing his sports locker. “It’s time to get to class.” He told me quietly.

I groaned as I threw my head back, allowing him to lead me out of the locker room and across the soccer and football fields, heading towards the dreaded place that is widely known as high school. “Today is the peer helper day,” I groaned.

He threw his head back as his hands shot into the air. “How the hell did I forget about that?” He asked angrily. “It’s such a waste of our time, no one ever tells the truth, but it gets us out of gym,” he said happily, elbowing me in the side playfully.

I squirmed away from him, laughing at how quickly he can change his moods. He’s a generally happy person and easily works his way out of any funks he finds himself in. “How about we switch it up today?” I asked randomly, poking him in the side.

“How so?” He asked as we entered the main building, ignoring the glares and disappointed looks that were being shot our way.

“I don’t know, tell the truth?” I asked quietly, knowing that today’s topic would be teen dating. I could get a lot of things off of my chest, but I won’t do it alone. I’d need someone there for me, to support me, and who better then to support me then the man who means the world to me, Jay.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Cam,” he said happily, wrapping his arms around my shoulder as we walked into our first hour class, English. We happened to be very lucky with our schedules. We only have one period apart, which happens to be our electives, and we are otherwise attached at the hip. It angers a lot of people, but after years of being on the receiving end of disapproving and angered glares Jay has finally convinced me to disregard them to the best of my ability.

We settled into our seats, taking out the required materials for class since the final bell was seconds away from ringing. I looked at Jay as the teacher walked into the room, quickly calling the class to attention. He shot me a quick thumbs up like he always does every morning, reassuring me that the day will be okay, and of course, I believed him. I turned my attention to the front of the class as the teacher, Mister Caper, started to explain what our final project of senior year would be. I zoned out though, completely ignoring his instructions as an internal war started to rage within me.

What was I going to do during the peer helper meeting later?

Is it weird that I was actually looking forward to it? I’d be able to get many things off of my chest, lifting an immeasurable amount of weight off of my shoulders, and hopefully get some valuable insight into the complicated person that is Jay Gold. In the end, that didn’t seem too bad to me, but that didn’t stop the mere idea of somewhat coming clean about my feelings from striking fear into my very core.

<3 <3 <3

I breathed in and breathed out a couple of times, my hands already becoming clammy. Maybe promising Jay that I would tell the truth today was a mistake. What if he realizes that the feelings I’d be talking about are about him and he decides to distance himself from me? I can’t deal with that. I can honestly say that next to losing my daughter, losing Jay is my biggest fear. However, I promised him, Maya, and myself that I’d tell the truth. I have no choice but to own up to my promise. One of the things that I truly hate is when a person breaks a promise, and if I broke a promise I’d be a huge contradiction. I don’t want to be a walking contradiction; I have to deal with enough trouble already.

I quickly pushed open the door to the gymnasium, scurrying across the hard wood floor with my head down. I have no desire to see the hate filled glares and sneers that are directed at me and only me. I continued moving across the gym floor to the spot that I know Jay will be waiting for me since he’s waited there for me for four years. I kept telling myself that no one is looking my way because they’re too busy talking to their companions, but I knew that I was wrong.

I reached our little spot in the corner of the gym, still staring at the floor, breathing a sigh of relief when I saw Jay’s scruffy Nike sneakers standing next to my shabby black converse. “Hey,” I said softly, taking the seat next to him as I finally looked up, doing my best to ignore the four other people that were crowding around him.

“Hey,” he said around a smile, sitting down next to me. We were lucky enough to be placed in the same peer group in the least noticeable place in the gym, the far corner, and for that I would be grateful. It gave us more privacy and hid us from the vicious glares that were often sent my way. The only people who could hurt me were the other five people in my group, one of which being Jay, and he always protected me from the other four monsters. As always, when there is a light at the end of the tunnels there’s a tiny bit of darkness still lingering, and that bit of bad luck happens to be getting paired with the four people that want Jay more than anything else.

I looked at our group leader, a man that we call Simon, when we were told to begin the discussion. I did my best to ignore the scrutinizing gazes that were being shot my way, but I couldn’t help but squirm since I could feel them burning holes in my body. “Okay!” He cheered excitedly as he clapped his hands together, rubbing them together for emphasis. “Today we will be talking about relationships among teenagers!” A soft groan sounded through the circle, none of us liking that we’d have to be getting dating advice from a guy who was frankly pretty nerdy.

The peer helper program was honestly a waste of time. It was set up to help us survive our last year of high school in attempts to take the pressure off of our shoulders. Every month we would be taken out of our physical education period for a day to have an hour long discussion about topics such as teen dating, pregnancy, drugs, alcoholism, and more. They truly were informing, but they really only reminded us of things that have been engraved into our brains since kindergarten. They often weren’t taken seriously because of the simple fact that we barely learned anything new. The only positive thing about the meeting is that we were able to get an entire period off of physical education so that we can get into our discussion groups and, well, discuss.

“I guess the best way to start off would be by discussing our personal dating problems. Well, anything that has to do with the mysterious emotion of love, that is,” he said, looking around the group to see if any of us would object. Of course, none of us did. “Alright, we’ll start off with Ashley then we’ll move in clockwise order.” He commanded, leaning back in his seat to signal that it was time for us to start.

Ashley looked around the group, curling her blond hair around her manicured pointer finger. She stared at Jay, honing in on him as she said, “I have no problem in the love department. I have no desire to find love anytime soon. I’m fine with fucking the few people that I find insanely attractive.” I wanted to jump up and rip her throat out but I miraculously held myself back, not wanting to make a fool of myself. I have a bad enough reputation as it is.

“Okay then,” Simon said uncomfortably, motioning for the next person to go. It was clear that he was disgusted by how easy Ashley was, then again, so was I.

Trevor looked around the group, staring at Simon like he was the world’s biggest idiot, which was a considerably arguable claim. “My love life is none of your fucking business,” he spat as he turned to the other two people in our little discussion group.

“We agree with him!” They said simultaneously, taking the easy way out of the conversation like the slackers they are. Their evasiveness wasn’t surprising, in fact, it was expected, but after dealing with it for four years it was getting pretty irritating. It's people like them that anger me, only because they have everything so easy, not having to worry about anyone but themselves. I wish that I could go back to living a life like that, but at the same time I don’t just because I wouldn’t have Maya and I wouldn’t be anywhere near as close as I am with Jay. Those two positive aspects about my life hold great importance with me and I will never let either of them go.

Simon rolled his eyes, saddened that the discussion took a turn for the worst quicker then it normally would. All eyes turned to Jay being that it was his turn. “Well,” he said thoughtfully, contemplating how to word his answer. “I want to find love, and I think I’ve found the perfect person to love, but I don’t know if they feel the same way.” I noticed Ashley straighten out of the corner of her eye, somehow finding it logical for Jay to be attracted to her in her sick mind. The news about his little confession would spread like a wild fire, the entire school knowing by final bell. “I wouldn’t really want to take a relationship far without loving the person and I don’t know if I’d ever love someone as much as I love this person.” He told Simon simply.

I felt anger and jealousy slowly boil up inside me. Someone out there was worthy of Jay’s love and Jay wanted them. I was jealous that that person couldn’t be me, mad that they weren’t me. I spent all my free time yearning for that person to be me, but my hopes were in vain, as usual. Why can’t anything ever go right for once?

“Finally, we’re getting into a deeper discussion!” Simon said excitedly, clapping his hands and rubbing them together again. “What about you, Cameron?” He asked me. A collective groan worked its way through our circle, but I ignored it, trying to figure out what I was going to say.

“Love is a weird topic.” I started off simply. “You can love people as if they are blood or you could love someone romantically, but either way the feelings are intense. Loving someone will make you feel the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows, truly like a rollercoaster.” I mentally chuckled at the analogy, truly understanding what it meant now. I took a deep breath as I plowed on, nervous as to what I was going to say next. “I personally am in love with someone, but the hard part is that they don’t know, which hurts me. However, I wouldn’t be willing to lose them, so it’s sort of a lose-lose situation for me,” I said quietly, holding back the tears that wanted to spill over.

“That was pretty deep,” Simon commented. “It’s rare that someone your age has such insight on such a confusing emotion.” He told me softly, patting my knee comfortingly as I continued to fight back the tears. I just vocalized the reason behind most of my misery, my yearning for something that I would most likely never have. “You can leave if you want,” he told me softly. “You seem like you could go for a walk, recollect your thoughts.”

I thanked him gratefully, quickly getting up from my seat and exiting the gymnasium through the closest exit. I did my best to ignore the comments about what a loser I was and how freaky I act. Those tiny little comments that continuously stab at my already fragile heart were enough to send me over the edge, the tears finally falling. I hurried towards the boy’s bathroom, not wanting people to witness my moment of weakness. Once I was inside I leaned against the wall, allowing myself to slide down and curl in a ball so that I could wallow in my misery in peace.

Of course, I wouldn’t be able to get what I want, because the bathroom door opened just as the thought crossed my mind. I looked up slowly, scared of who it could be, knowing that this tiny moment could haunt me for the rest of my high school career. I breathed out a sigh of relief when I noticed it was just Jay. He probably asked Simon if he could check on me, and Simon being the amazingly kind and generous guys he is probably agreed.

“I’m so sorry you’re in a situation like that,” Jay whispered to me softly, sitting beside me, guiding my head to the crook of his neck.

“There’s nothing you could do about it,” I mumbled into his neck, clutching onto the soft fabric of his cotton shirt. I tried to quietly inhale his scent, loving the scent that is Jay Gold, a scent that only he could pull off.

“You should tell this guy how you feel,” he said softly, trying to throw in his two cents. He always wants what is best for me, always urging me to find love.

“I’ll do it when you do it,” I muttered, trying to think of any excuse as to why I can’t tell the love of my life that I love him. How could I tell the guy that is sitting here, comforting me, that I’ve loved him for two years?

“It’s not that easy,” he defended.

“Exactly,” I muttered, anger hinting at my tone. Why can’t I just tell him? Why do I have to be such a coward?

“I hate shit like this,” he muttered. “Love fucking sucks!” He said jokingly.

I chuckled, knowing firsthand how true that statement was. Without thinking about it I pressed a tiny kiss to his neck. I have no idea why I did it. Maybe because he was able to shine some light through the dark clouds of my day or because he’s Jay and I couldn’t resist him anymore, but once I did it I froze, completely regretting it as he tensed underneath me. I just messed up our entire friendship.

“Why did you do that?” He breathed out softly, still tense, not even moving a muscle.

I slowly pulled my head away from his neck, ashamed. I don’t want to see the look of anger on his face when he puts two and two together and realizes that the freak is crushing on him. “I don’t know,” I lied through my teeth.

“You’re a horrible liar,” he whispered softly, finally moving. We faced away from each other for a few minutes, not knowing how to break the awkward silence. He let loose a groan before turning towards me, lifting my chin up with his finger. I stared at him, not knowing what to say or do as a tear slowly moved down my cheek. As if on cue, you could see his eyes light up with understanding as he figured everything out, rubbing my tear away. “Oh,” he said softly, not knowing what else to say.

I just continued staring at him, not knowing what else to say or do now that my most valuable secret was out in the open. I wanted my last memories of my friendship with Jay to be happy, not sad like they’ll probably get. “I don’t know what to say,” he said quietly, still staring in my eyes, searching for the answers to the many questions that were probably running through his mind. “How long?” He asked me softly.

I continued to stare into his eyes, not being able to tear my eyes away from his mesmerizing orbs. “Since sophomore year when you rescued me from all the guys trying to beat me up when I tried to leave school early since Carlie was giving birth,” I breathed out.

He nodded his head, still staring at me, cradling me gently like I was the most fragile thing in the world. What felt like an eternity of silence enveloped us even though it was probably only a few seconds. “The first day of Mister Henderson’s third quarter history class,” he said softly, completely out of the blue. I looked at him questioningly and he shook his head before connecting our gazes again, holding me captive with his eyes. “I’ve loved you since the first day of Mister Henderson’s third quarter history class when I dropped my pencil and four people scrambled to get it and you just laughed at their desperation and stupidity, just like I was doing inside.” He said in one rushed breath.

I blinked my eyes, not believing what I just heard. Are my ears deceiving me? “I don’t know what to say,” I muttered weakly, repeating what he said moments earlier, still taken aback by Jay’s sudden confession.

“Then don’t say anything,” he said quietly, holding me captive with his glowing light blue orbs yet again. He leaned forward and placed his soft, luscious lips on mine causing fireworks to explode in my stomach as shivers racked my frame. He pressed his lips firmly to mine, communicating to me through our kisses, screaming how much he loved me.

I smiled as I pressed my lips to his harder, our lips moving in perfect synchronization, screaming “I love you” just as hard, possibly harder.

I’ve been waiting for this for so long.