Take Me to Infinity

The red lights on Autum’s digital clock glared seven AM when she woke the next morning. She hadn’t gotten up that early since she was in school, and it felt odd to see the sun just beginning to creep over the horizon from her balcony. After wiping away the gunk that had collected in the corners of her eyes, Autum sat up in her bed and shook her head around in an attempt to break out of her foggy sleep.

Even though she’d never been much of a morning person, Autum was happy. The nervous excitement of anticipation bounced around in her mind as she walked to her bathroom to brush her teeth.

As she made tiny circles along her teeth with the toothbrush, Autum realized that she hadn’t really felt this way about a date in a long time. She tried to put on this cynical front, but deep down she was a typical hopeless romantic. Giddy was the only emotion that came to mind when she thought about James. Her thoughts were heading down the path that Autum tried so desperately to stay away from. Fuzzy visions of a possible future with James only acted as distractions.

She honestly didn’t need this right now, but wanting and needing are two totally different things.

The cold sensation of toothpaste dripping onto her chest brought her back to the task at hand. After she rinsed, Autum stared at her reflection in the mirror, even though she knew she’d never be completely satisfied with what she saw. She always focused on the negatives: dull skin, soft stomach, the way her collarbone stuck out whenever she lost a few pounds.

She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. It was times like these when she wished she had long hair again.

While she couldn’t do much about her hair, Autum was also in a predicament when it came to what to wear. She had no idea where James was taking her, and even if she wanted to dress herself up a little, her closet contained only jeans and tube tops.

Kandi’s voice floated through the walls of the apartment. She kept singing the same random rap lyrics over and over like a skipped CD. It wasn’t one of her roomie’s finer qualities.

Life could be funny in the strangest ways sometimes. The time when Autum needed her best friend more than ever was now, when she couldn’t go to her at all.

It had always been difficult for Autum to open up to people about the more personal aspects of her life, especially when it came to her love life. Sure, every now and again she’d see a guy, nudge Kandi with her elbow and say that he was hot, but that’s about as deep as she cared to go.

All Autum really wanted to do was gush, just sit with her best friend on the floor, kick her feet in the air, and just squeal like some lovesick twelve-year-old, carefree and swept away. She didn’t feel that way often (not nearly as much as Kandi did), but she still felt the need to get it out. She wasn’t made of stone.

And Autum wasn’t really lovesick, just…caught up. It wasn’t like anyone could just turn her into this drooling girl that hung onto every word some guy fed to her. That had never been Autum’s game.

But with James, it was different in some way. She didn’t feel like she had to work to be with him, like she had to change herself to make him fall for her or play manipulative mind games to try to get him in the sack. When she was with him, she felt on top of the world and like all the little rotten things in her life were going to be okay.

Autum sighed and pushed her bangs back with a navy headband before she walked out of her room.

“Mornin’ sunshine!” Kandi announced as soon as she heard Autum’s slow footsteps against the linoleum. She was standing at the kitchen counter pouring a ridiculous amount of Splenda into her coffee as she danced to whatever song that was playing in her head.

“Bleh,” Autum groaned in response as she sat down across from Logan at the small formica kitchen table.

“So…” Kandi began as she joined them at the table. “Got any plans for today?”

“Not really,” Autum replied, her eyes glued to the pile of salt Logan was doodling in on the table.

“Oh…” her voice trailed off, and for once her roommate didn’t have anything to say.

“What about you guys? What are y’all doing?”

“Trying to launch my acting career,” she smirked. “I mean, that is what I came out here for.”

“Well, good luck,” Autum laughed. “They’d be crazy not to cast you. You’re the most dramatic person I know.”

“I don’t exactly know how I should take that,” she giggled. “Anyways, you should find something to do. I’d definitely be depressed if I had to hang out around here by myself all day.”

Autum sighed and felt the excitement bubble up inside her chest. “Maybe I will.”

Kandi raised her eyebrows slightly before taking another sip from her orange coffee mug.

>>

It took around an hour for Kandi and Logan to finally leave. During that span of roughly sixty minutes, Autum began to get incredibly antsy, and she just knew that somehow Kandi would find out.

As much as she wanted to tell her friend about these new feelings that were developing between her and James, she didn’t feel like dealing with whatever drama that would eventually unfold. Even though she knew it wouldn’t be Kandi’s fault, but if things somehow went awry between herself and James, Autum knew she would never be able to keep her friend from blowing up.

But of course, she hoped for the best, just expected the worst.

Autum stood in her bedroom, leaning against her closet door. She figured it would be safe to just go with jeans and a top, just in case James had them playing laser tag or something equally as physical. She crossed her fingers and hoped that they weren’t going someplace fancy as she pulled her dark flared jeans up her thighs.

She was definitely not fashionable enough for L.A.

It wasn’t long after she’d finished getting dressed that Autum heard her phone blasting the annoying stereotypical ringtone that meant it was someone she hadn’t assigned a ringtone to yet.

She rushed into the living room and snatched her phone off of the coffee table, tucking a section of hair behind her ear and out of her eyes so that she could see the name.

“Hey, what’s up?” she answered as she glanced out at the cityscape from the window.

“Nothing much,” James replied, and Autum could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m outside your apartment, and I’m thinking you should come down.”