To Say I Love You

I heard Billie's breath sharpen to my mother's statement. I could've sworn, though, that he had stopped breathing.
"You really think you're gonna just come back into her life and patch up your relationship with her just because you've been here for two days straight?" my mother questioned. "Well, news flash, Billie Joe, you ain't even supposed to be near her."
Billie Joe let out another sharpened breath, but didn't say anything. I watched him as his fingers tightly clutched the railing of the crib and his knuckles go white, his head looking down at Ryder. He clutched the rail tighter as he lifted his head and, not meeting any of our gazes, brought his head up as a tear escaping his longing emerald eyes.
"If that's what you want, then fine," Billie said in a shaky voice, as if he would break down crying, turning to face my mother. "Just don't expect me to stay out of my actual kids' lives."
With that, Billie pushed his weight off of the crib and exited the room. Shortly, I heard the slamming of the front door and ran to my window, seeing a glimse of his walking figure.
"Did you have to be such a bitch towards him?" I asked as I turned to face my mother.
As much as I was sort of glad he left, I kinda wanted him to stay.
"I did what I had to do, Lillie," she replied.
"Billie never did anything to you, so why do you have to be a bitch towards him?" I asked, a little frustrated.
"I lost respect for the man when I found out he slept with a 14 year old," she replied, referring the 14 year old girl as me in the third degree. She started to walk towards the doorway, but stopped. "And I feel for the next one he does."
"I don't think he's gonna have sex with any girl any time soon," I stated.
"Oh, and why do you think this?" my mother asked.
"Because, he told me while he was drunk last night. He hasn't even wanted to have sex since I left and it got me thinking," I replied. "Mom, I haven't been sexually active since him."
My mother stared at me, no glared, in disgust. As if anybody she knew being involved with Billie Joe Armstrong was the worst thing in the world. "And you're telling me this why?"
"Because something's seriously wrong with him, and I think it's because of me," I stated.
"Yes, he's fucked in the head and it's your fault? No, Lillie, just because he doesn't want sex, doesn't mean it's your fault," my mother said as she walked out of the room, ending the discussion.
I stared down at my son and started to think.
Billie and I were getting along so well before my mother walked in. He bugged me so much as he willed to help me with a baby he definately knew wasn't his. He cared so much that he was willing to sacrifice almost anything.
Then it dawned on me. My mother made him cry. And I know that Billie Joe Armstrong only cries over things that are important. And he only started to cry when it was about me. I was important to him.
Something just didn't fit right about my facts.