To Say I Love You

I stood up from my spot and kept my eyes locked with her's.
"I think that's a good idea," I replied.
"I'm just gonna come right out and ask this," she said. I swallowed. "Are you okay?"
I looked down at he floor and rubbed the crook of my neck with my left hand. "I guess, whatever okay is anymore."
She walked closer to me. I felt the smooth touch of her fingertips softly rub my forearm. I gritted my teeth as hard as I could to keep from crying.
"Billie...," she said," just answer me with a straight answer. Please?"
I sniffed as I lifted my gaze from the floor to her. I felt hot tears stream down my face as I couldn't hold them back any longer. She wrapped her arms around my neck for a comfort hug as I wrapped mine around her waist.
"No, I'm nowhere near okay, Lillie," I softly murmered in her ear as more tears stained my cheeks.
"Y'know, I knew you weren't okay from the moment you walked out of my room," Lillie stated. "I don't know if you know this, but I noticed you were crying, right before you left my room. Then I started to think, Billie, this is my fault you're like this."
"No, it's not, honey," I said, forcing myself to pull away from the hug I wanted so bad to look into her eyes. "It's my fault."
"Why did you do this to yourself then?" she asked. "Give me reason to believe you did this to yourself."
Because I care alot about you, and not being able to see you ate at me, was what I wanted to say, but instead said," Because, I felt like I was losing everything."
"As in what?" she asked.
I was about to answer when her phone went off to No Surprise by Daughtry. She answered the phone while rolling her eyes.
"What the hell do you want?" she asked. There was a couple seconds of silence before she piped in. "OK OK, I'll be home soon!"
Lillie then hung up the phone.
"Ugh, that bitch never lets me do anything I want anymore," Lillie muttered as she put her phone in her pocket. "I gotta go before she goes out searching for me and kill me. Finish later?"
I chuckled a little whilst I nodded. She made her way up the stairs as I went to totally turn off the CD player. After it was off, I headed up the stairs myself and made my way to the front door to see her climb into her car. I could tell she wasn't gonna look up here, because she would have met my eyes.
I stared out the window and watched her car back it's way from my driveway and head down the road.
"Oh, Lillie, as in I feel lost without you," I murmered to myself as I could no longer see her car in the distance.