To Go From There

“Kiernan, are you serious? You’re not fucking with me right now?” Rhys asked. Tears formed in my eyes as I chuckled cynically.

“No, Rhys, I’m fucking with you. I came all this way to lie to you about loving you. I just wanted to see this flabbergasted look on your face. I think I’ll be going now, just so you can wallow in self-pity and,” my voice broke and I turned around so Rhys didn’t have to see me cry. I wiped tears from my eyes. I couldn’t even tell you why I was crying this time. I was just overwhelmed, I suppose.

“Kiernan. Look at me.”

“No,” I stated in response.

“Please.”

I peaked over my shoulder at him and wiped my eyes again.

“Fine.”

I turned and faced him. Rhys stood up, walked the few steps to me. We stood silently, chest to chest before Rhys leaned into me and kissed me on the lips.

“Kiernan, did you really think for a second that I didn’t love you back? It killed me to leave you without telling you goodbye. But… I’m stupid, I know that.”

I put my hands on his shoulders.

“You are very, very stupid. But I can forgive you, I suppose.”

He grinned, and pulled me onto his bed. I tripped and fell so I was laying on top of him. He winked and kissed me, rolling us so I was underneath.

“I’m still mad at you, I hope you know that. I am very, very mad at you,” I muttered as he kissed my cheeks and forehead and along my jaw. He hummed to show he heard me, but made no other noises. He kissed my ear, down my neck and onto my bare shoulder, leaving a wet trail.

“Rhys, your friend, Giles is he- What are you doing?” Josey asked. He raised his head from my shoulder and looked over his at his mom.

“Hi Mom. You know Kiernan.”

“Hi Josey,” I called.

“Nice to see you again, Kiernan. Rhys, don’t do anything I would frown upon.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“What do you want to do about Giles?” she asked.

“I’m not here.”

“You got it,” Josey replied and walked down the hallway. Rhys climbed off the bed and grabbed something off his bedside. He sat back down and I pushed myself up to sit with him. He took my hand in his, and opened my fist, putting my hand palm side up. He put the object from his bedside into my hand and closed my fingers over it. It was cool and metal.

“I wanted you to have this. I really have no use for it,” he shrugged and I opened my hand. I revealed a thin silver chain, from which hung a red heart that had a clasp on the side. I figured it wouldn’t open, so I didn’t try. Rhys kissed my temple and pulled my close. He took the necklace from me and unclasped it, put it around my neck and closed it. It fell against my chest, cool against my skin. “It’s just something I found at a little vintage store Mom and Lydia love.”

I chuckled and looked up at him, “What are we gonna do, Rhys?”

“I don’t know.”

A silence fell over us like a sheet. A horrible realization hit me.

“Rhys. You live in Seattle,” I whispered.

“I know.”

“What are we going to do?”

Rhys shrugged and hugged me close, “I don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t want to go. I like it here with you. But I don’t have a choice. My dad is my guardian now, which means that I have to do what he says. I’m lucky he let me drive here.”

“You drove here? Are you crazy, girl?”

“A little bit. But I had to come see you.”

“And I’m glad you did.”

We stayed quiet. I nuzzled into his side, breathing in that signature Rhys scent. Rhys played with my new necklace and it was just so easy to just sit there in his arms. I did not want to go home. I didn’t want to get up, let alone drive back to Michigan. Especially after everything that happened.

“Can I stay here for a few days? I don’t wanna go back there. I don’t wanna walk into my house and not have you, or Gen, or Mom there. It’ll kill me.”

“I’ll have to clear it with my mom, obviously since I’m still grounded but it’s alright with me,” he chuckled, kissing my shoulder.

“I figured it’d be alright with you, silly.”

He tilted my head up and kissed me.

“How are you doing?” he asked, “I mean, it can’t be easy losing your mom like that.”

“I knew she wasn’t doing good. I should’ve known. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon. They were supposed to make her better,” I paused and swallowed the lump in my throat. “I just can’t believe she’s really gone. She’s been there, my entire life. It’s always been me and Mom. She’s been my best friend since I could talk. I trusted her with everything. There wasn’t a secret that I kept from her. It’s strange, not being able to just pick up the phone and call her. I used to just have her there, to make my bad days better. And then, she went to that cancer center and now… she’s just gone. She’s blowing in the wind somewhere. I will never hug her again. I won’t ever hear her laugh, or find her sunbathing when I get home for school. I won’t ever steal her pancakes and end up getting smacked in the face with one. I don’t have a mom anymore.”

Rhys buried his head into my neck and blew hot air onto my skin. I shivered.

“Kiernan?”

“Yes, Rhys?”

“Are you my girlfriend?”

I grinned, “Only if you want to be my boyfriend.”

I felt him smile against my shoulder.

“Well, girlfriend, what are we going to do about our relationship once you go?”

“I don’t know, boyfriend. I think we could at least try something long distance. I mean, I certainly don’t have anyone who could replace you. And I do trust you, not to replace me.”

“Replace you? Never. There is no one quite like you, Kiernan.”

I smiled.

“And Rhys?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“There’s no one quite like you either.”

***

“No! Don’t go!” Lydia tackled me in a hug, her small frame attached to my own. I couldn’t peel her off of me. I’d become really close with the girl over the week that I stayed with the Abbott family. She was so sweet. Beneath her scared, shy shell, there was a rambunctious, bubbly teenage girl. And just like me, she was beginning to break out of that shell. Rhys said she was more like how she used to be, before they left Seattle.

“I think it’s because of you, Kiernan,” he’d said. “you were an inspiration to Lydia. You were an idol, of sorts. I have to thank you for that.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around that. Me, an idol. But if I was helping that sweet girl somehow, who was I to argue?

“I have school, Lee. I’ve gotta go.”

“Noooooooooo!” she whined.

“I’m sorry. I would love to stay, but my dad’s gonna be pissed if I don’t get back by the weekend.”

“Call him. Tell him you’re moving in. You and Rhys are running away to Vegas to get married. Please. Don’t go!”

I tucked my head into her shoulder and sniffled, holding back tears.

“Okay, okay, you two. You’re both about to burst into hysterics so Lydia, come with me,” Josey unlatched her daughter from me and lead her away. Rhys appeared before me, carrying my suitcase. He took me by the waist and pulled me towards him. We were standing just inside the entryway. It was raining outside, the sound soothing and steady. I put my head against his chest, breathing deeply. I didn’t want to leave.

“You know, I’m very against you leaving.”

I chuckled.

“I am too. But I’ve got to go.”

“Don’t.”

“Rhys, you are making this very difficult.”

“That was my plan. Now, how would you feel about running away to Vegas?”

I smiled, looked up and into Rhys’ wide brown eyes. He kissed my forehead.

“Don’t go,” he whispered.

“Rhys,” I groaned.

He let me go and stepped back. I smirked and grabbed him by the shoulders real quick, planting a kiss on his slightly parted lips. He wrapped his arms around my waist, dragging me into him. I slid my hands up into his sandy brown hair.

“What now?” he asked, detaching our lips. The air brushed my lips and cheeks.

“We’ll play it by ear. And if something arises, baby, we’ll just have to go from there.”