Life and Times

So today, it’s a Friday afternoon so you have to go out for lunch. So I take my two friends, but before we even got out of the school, hell rose upon us. I took my friends Jordan and Alex, Jordan’s one of the coolest people I know, she’s my best friend, and I’m going to try and keep it that way. Alex on the other hand is hilarious, a very sexual person, walking down the hallway she would pelvis thrust and yell ‘suck my cock’ (she’s disturbed). But before Jordan even got out of the building she had to fight off one of the biggest bitches I know, her name is Stacey. Stacey and Jordan are supposedly friends, however Stacey would get insanely pissed off if you had other plans and couldn’t hang out that night, I would know, when she got this boyfriend she didn’t know what to do and I basically had to guide her the whole way through, but the one night I didn’t go online I got the daggers, (a scary look that she gives people when she’s pissed off). Yes, the daggers are what Jordan received this very afternoon. Sorry buddy. Failing to be the rebel she usually is, Jordan wasn’t going to ditch soccer practice to come out for lunch with us, until BOOM!!! It was canceled, and on that note, Jordan got to come with us, but before making a dramatic exit, she had to reject the offer of having lunch with Stacey that day. When the words were finally out of her mouth, she ran for the hills like there was no freaking tomorrow. Followed by Alex’s and my bolt up a flight of stairs and smashing through the side hallway door, we saw Jordan running and yelling, ‘HIDE ME!” at the top of her lungs even out of breath.

Finally out and alive, the three of us were on our way. Yes, to Tim Horton’s (look at my profile, I’m Canadian, eh?). We had a total of 20 bucks and my debit card on us, that was lunch. After walking down the railroad tracks for a solid 30 seconds, Jordan realized that Stacey’s a complete bitch. Really Jordan? Really? Anyway, so ditching the train tracks and cutting onto a back lane and through a parking lot we decide what we’re are going to be feasting on this fine afternoon. The three of us all agreed, ‘Three medium Iced Capps, (Iced Cappuccino) Three Turkey Bacon Sandwiches, and a dozen donuts.’ What the fuck?! A dozen donuts for the three of us?! No marry-go-round after this. Please.

So we order and the lady at the counter thinks we’re fucking obis, and then we started naming off the donuts we want, because, yes, you did the math, we each get 4 donuts. Jordan names her’s, “1 honey crueler, 1 vanilla dip, 1 boston cream, and 1 strawberry filled.”
“1 honey crueler, 1 vanilla dip, a boston cream, and actually another honey crueler.” Alex listed eagerly to shove those deep fried rings down her throat. “These things are delicious.” She whispered as a side note.
“Ok, my turn, 1 honey dip, 1 strawberry filled, another honey dip just for fun, and 1 old fashion plain, wait make that 1 old fashion glazed, I’m trying to spice things up today.” I said with slobber dripping down my face.
Our Grand total was $30.31, Alex gave the lady her $20 bill and I paid the rest on my debit, considering Jordan’s broke, or she would’ve been paying for at least half of this, well that’s what she usually does.

We finally sit down at a four person table and dig in, I offered them both my salad, (the lettuce and tomato that I took off my sandwich) and they both refused. For the most part, the table was silent, our mouths were full (of the sandwich, not something else you sick minded reader). When we all finished which was basically all at the same time, we cracked open the box of donuts, 12 to be exact. And what a surprise, Alex finished all her donuts before anyone else. While blowing powered out of our mouth from the jelly filled donut, my neighbor started talking to us (she works there and I always hate it when she interrupts my lunch). It’s a Friday, everybody’s happy on Friday, right? So I ask, “Hey, hook me up with an iced cap would ya?” (Even having one right in front of me) So she creeps up to the iced cap machine and starts blending when she noticed her manager watching her to see what she was going to do with the plastic cup full of goodness. While being stalked, I had another friend working that day, his name was Logan, I met him here a few weeks ago with a couple of my other guy friends. Logan’s a good kid, about 16 or 17, so while in the storage area with my iced cap, my neighbor is trapped. So Logan jumps on the opportunity and starts blending like a mad man. All of a sudden I hear a, ‘Pssst!’ coming from four feet away on my right. Logan made me an iced cap. (no charge)
“Thank you sir.” I whisper thanking him for risking trouble to sneek me an iced cap.
Unwrapping my straw and dropping it into my cup, I suddenly feel something cold in my crotch area. My neighbor put a fucking iced cap between my legs! She made it with cream (just the way I like it) an then she put whipped cream on top (the solid form not the liquid form) and then blended it so it basically tasted like shit. So I gave that cup to Jordan.

Shoving her last donut in her mouth, Alex didn’t relies who was standing in line behind our table, it was 2 of our teachers, Mr. Wall, and Mr. Green (lame names yes, real names yes.) Flicking Alex on the elbow notifying her that we had two teachers behind us, she had to turn around and yell ‘hi’. Then reaching over and attempting to pull some napkins out of a holder, Alex’s chair falls over having had her backpack of the end of it weighing it down. Great job Alex NOT attracting attention to us at all with the manager standing right there.

Having it being 1:10 pm it was time for us to get back to school (hey, we’re in junior high) the only thing that could make this lunch better was having a hot guy there, and who do we see walking back to school? Brody, the hottest guy in our grade, (in my eyes and Alex’s) today was a good day. However, we had gym that afternoon. Fml.