My Only One

"What are you looking at?" Melissa said defensively to the girl who was staring at me. I couldn’t believe that I started crying in public. The girl said nothing and quickly walked away. I got up and practically ran to the bathroom to recompose myself. Melissa knew to stay at the table and give me a moment by myself. If I don't get my ‘me’ moments, I tend to explode and when I explode, I explode. Just ask Ryan. I reapplied my foundation and then started on my eye liner when this girl walked into the bathroom. She wasn't the same girl who was staring at me in the diner itself. We stared at each other for a moment before she walked into one of the stalls. When she was done, I had finished my eye liner. Fixing my make up didn't really help at all. My eyes were still red and puffy and it was obvious I had been crying.

"What happened to you?" She bluntly asked.

"Wow."

"I don't mean that in a mean way, just...you know. There was really no other way of saying it."

"'Are you okay' never ran through your mind?" I wasn’t sure if I should have been offended at all by her bluntness.

"It did but you would answer yes and I'd be like yeah right and you'd be like, blah blah blah-"

"Okay. I get it." I rolled my eyes and walked out of the bathroom. I went and sat back at the table.

"Are you all right now? Do I need to go beat some bitches?" Melissa asked me. I laughed.

"Actually yeah, there was this one girl in the bathroom...she was being so rude."

"What do you mean?"

"She walked up to me and said 'what happened to you?' Can we say rude?"

"Was it that girl?" She pointed to the girl.

"Yep, that's her."

"Hey, you," Melissa stopped the girl. Only in California would stuff like this not attract attention. She turned and looked at us. "What's your name?"

"Why?"

"I just want to know the name of the girl who is bull shitting with my best friend, that's all."

"I wasn't trying to start any shit with you."

"Well you made it seem that way," I told her.

"I'm sorry."

"Are you always that blunt?"

"Most of the time, I mean it in a good way though. I'm seriously not a mean person."

I said nothing and just looked at Melissa. "We should probably go now," I suggested to her. She agreed. We paid our tab and left the place.

* * *

Blake and I talked in my room while Melissa got settled in.

"You can't say that only I have changed. You've changed too," Blake told me.

"Yes I have. I won't deny that. But you're a different person. A completely different person; one I don't like."

"Oh and Ryan hasn't changed at all?" He spat at me.

"No, Ryan's changed. Since the last time we've been together, he's changed. I know that part of his change is because of me."

"You changed him?" he asked in a non believing tone of voice.

"That's what happens when the person you love breaks up with you. Not that I broke up with him. We broke up with each other."

"You guys still broke up for a reason though."

"What are you trying to say Blake? What are you trying to get me to say?"

"Nothing."

"Do you want me to admit that I still love him? Is that it?"

"No..."

"You are unbelievable." I shook my head. I put my hands in my pockets and looked at him.

"So what do you want to do then?" he finally asked me. I’ve been waiting for this question for a long time to be honest. Only I never figured out what I would say. So I shrugged my shoulders.

"Ryan doesn't want me to break up with you for him," I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. I have no idea what I want to do."

"Leave this place and come live with me."

"Seriously?" I asked him shocked. What the hell was that?

"Uh...yeah, we can take the next step."

"What next step?" I asked hoping he wouldn't say what I thought he would. Then he did.

"We could get married and start a family."

"Absolutely not! No, just no."

"What! Why not?"

"I'm not ready for that type of commitment. Not with you."

"Why not?"

"I don't know you Blake! How many times do I have to say that?"

"So then break up with me and get it over with. Apparently I don't mean shit to you anyway since you've got Ryan now." He walked out of my room. Because of that, I got Melissa and left the apartment. I called Ryan.

"I'm at Sean's house right now if that's a problem. I don't know if you want to come over here or not."

"That's fine. Where does he live?" Ryan gave me directions to his house and we were there ten minutes later. When we knocked on the door, the one person we weren't expecting answered the door.

The girl from the diner answered the door.

"Ryan! I think it's for you!" she shouted behind her. Moments later, Ryan appeared. We hugged each other and I introduced him to Melissa. We walked into Sean's house and Ryan introduced the diner girl as Tiffany, a really good friend of Sean's.

"Shut up Key!" Tiffany shouted and punched him in the arm. Ryan grabbed his arm.

"Ow!"

"Oh be quiet you skank." I kind of didn't like the way she was talking to Ryan. She seemed to read my mind. "Ryan, I think your girlfriend's getting jealous."

"I'm not getting jealous," I objected. What was there to get jealous about? Not a damn thing.

"She's not my girlfriend," he told her. That stung a little to be honest.

"You want her to be though, don't you?"

"That's for me to know."

"Aww! You so want her. You want her in the worst way, don't you?"

"No!" Ryan blushed.

"Yeah you do!"

"No I don't. Where's Sean?" He changed the subject.

"Right here," he said walking into the room.

"I totally ousted Ryan's crush on that girl," Tiffany said.

"Jenna? Yeah. They used to date. They should date again. They were too cute."

"Can we change the subject now?" Ryan asked.

"Okay," Tiffany said. "So, I met them already."

"That wasn't exactly the best first meeting ever," I said.

"No it wasn't. Sorry about that."

"It's fine. No hard feelings." I shrugged my shoulders.

We hung out at Sean’s house and did nothing for the day.

"Hey Jenna, I think we should get going," Melissa said around midnight. I looked up at Ryan. Ryan and I were sitting together on the couch. He had his arms around me. It felt right. It felt like the way it should be.

"Why don't you go ahead on home and I'll take Jenna home when she's ready?" he suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Melissa said.

"Yeah, me too," I said as I handed her my car keys.

"All right, I'll see you at home."

"Yep."

Only I never made it home that night.