My Only One

My heart raced as I watched the boy play around on his acoustic guitar before starting "Rough Landing, Holly." I found it amazing that Ryan and I spent so much time a part and yet he still had the ability to make my heart skip a beat. I can still remember the very first time I actually met him.

"My brother's probably already home. If he says anything to you, just ignore him," Sarah told me as we walked into her house. We had a big project due in biology and we partnered up. She shut the front door behind me and motioned for me to follow her. As we walked past the living room, I saw the boy who had the same gym period as me. The boy I had already deemed the love of my life even though I didn't even know his name.

"Sarah!"

"What?" she asked him. We both stopped and looked at him. Then he looked at me. I quickly looked away from him.

"Um...never mind."

"Whatever, well that's my loser brother and his friend." She pointed to a boy that I would later learn to be Longineu. I realized I had Psychology with Longineu. Then we continued on our way to her room which was upstairs.

"So that's your brother?" I asked as I sat on her bed.

"Yep, that's him with every annoying fiber in his body."

"What's his name?"

"Ryan."

"Is he a junior?"

"Yeah..." She looked up at me with that look. "Why? You like him, don't you?"

"No. I was just wondering. Where's your bathroom?"

"Down the hall, it's the second door on the left." It wasn't that I had to use the bathroom; I just needed to get out of there for a moment. I just went and fixed my make-up. Well, actually more like I took most of it off. Not that I had much on. As I was walking back to Sarah's room, Ryan passed by me. I told myself not to stare but I did it anyway. Great. Nice Job Jenna.

"What's your problem?" Sarah asked when I walked back in.

"Nothing..."

"You saw Ryan, didn't you?" She smirked.

"No!"

"Ha ha. I'm just kidding. Let's start this project already." We started to plan our project. Before we knew it, both her parents had come home and it was dinner time already. I called home to let my mom know what was going on and we went downstairs to the dining room. By the way the seating worked out, I ended up next to Ryan. I barely looked at the kid. He made me nervous. Luckily dinner didn't last too long and it was decided that around 9 o'clock, Ryan would take me home. That ride to my house was awkward. He pretty much talked to some girl the whole way there. He referred to me as his "little sister's friend" and that was it. I felt kind of let down to be honest. I made this boy the center of my universe and I was just some girl to him. I probably wasn't even that. I was probably just some freshman girl to be more specific. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. I couldn't hate him; he didn't do anything wrong. After a couple more minutes, we finally got to my house. I thanked him for the ride and started to get out of his car.

"Hey Jenna," he grabbed my hand. "I'll see you tomorrow."

All I could do was nod my head. Luckily it was too dark out for him to see me blush. Once again, I had hope.

"Hey Jenna, are you still there?" Ryan stared at me.

"Huh?" I responded. "I was thinking."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing really... Well, us."

"What about us?"

"Just about when we first met and times like that."

"Oh, all right."

"When are the guys coming?"

"They should be getting here now..." Ryan looked at his watch.

"We're here!" Longineu said practically running into Ryan's home studio. He was closely followed by the others. That's when I decided it was time for me to go.

"I'm going to get going, Ryan."

"Why?"

"I need to get my portfolio ready for my interview. Plus, I'd probably be a distraction to you guys anyway. I'll call you later though."

"Okay. I love you." He kissed me.

"I love you, too." We kissed again.

"Awww!" the boys chorused.

"Shut up!" Ryan shouted at them. He turned back to me and put his hands on my hips. "I'll talk to you later then."

"Yep." One last kiss and I left.

"Just make babies already!" I heard someone shout behind me. I shook my head and chuckled.

"Shut up!" Ryan shouted again. There was a tinge of embarrassment in his voice.

Even though Ryan and I met during high school, we didn't start an actual relationship until I was 20. High school mainly consisted of us just fooling around. We had decided we didn't want anything serious due to the fact that he was two years older than me. That meant he would graduate before me and go off to college. Neither of us really wanted to deal with the emotions that came along with that. But eventually we would realize that it didn't matter. We were in love with each other and wanted to be together. That was what mattered. Then a few years into our relationship, Fueled By Ramen took an interest in Yellowcard. Ultimately, that put an unwanted end to our relationship. Us having a relationship with him still being in Yellowcard does scare me. Before Fueled By Ramen came along, Ryan and I never spent a moment a part. I have an understanding though. I know what Ryan means to a lot of people out there. It's something I'll have to learn to accept. He doesn't know it but I have been to a couple shows. I just never stuck around long enough for us to bump into each other.

I shut my portfolio and put it on the table next to the door. It consisted of a lot of photos of local bands. I didn't want to be a fashion photographer. In my beginning years of college, I had to photograph wannabe models and let's just say they had the attitudes of already established models; minus Tyra Banks of course. Once I finished with that course, I decided to go with a field of people who would be appreciative of having their picture taken, bands. My favorite photo was in the back. It was a black and white photograph of my boyfriend's band. One he would probably never see.