My Life in Ruins.
Best Friends
I have too many friends. I was a naturally friendly person and didn't have a problem having friends; it’s just the ones I didn't need that were the problem. Everyone has those friends your parents don't like and yet, you have known them so long you can't let them go? I have this problem. And I’m not sure on what to do about it. I love this girl to death, but at times I just want to slap her and tell her shut up. But we all have friends like that, and the best part is the friends who have always been there and you don't plan on losing. I have about 5 of those.
Some in which are boys. My mother seems to think that since I talk to this particular boy an awful lot, I’m in love with him. Not exactly. If that were the case, I’m also in love with a gay boy and my best friend, that’s a girl. So nope. I think he may have those feelings for me though, which I’m afraid to find out. It may be awkward knowing he loves me, and I’m more of "Hey what’s up BFF?" but I’m not sure. Life sure is in a fickle.
So my best guy friend likes me….A lot. and I know. But I don’t like him, in that way. And would rather keep it “friends”. And basically I have been told to tell him I don’t like him. But I know his story. Who he is, and what’s happened. I was basically there. And if you were me, you would know why I can’t. and why it would be hard.
I actually pretend I forgot who he was...he believed me, I think.
"Come on beautiful, think." he sad .
"You know me." I do. A lot. And I hate it when he speaks to me that way. How do you respond to a person that thinks your beautiful. Nobody has ever said it to me...
I promised myself that after the first time i was hurt...i wouldn't let it happen again.
and i don't plan to let it...but it already has.my best friend is dating the boy I like. Isn’t that great? Yeah it’s so great to see them kiss, and hold hands, and just “cuddle” with each other. Yeah. Trust me. It’s not easy, why would it be? But I want her to be happy…so I keep quiet. That’s good…right? I’m not really sure.
"Your okay with it, right?" she asked.
"...Yeah...that's great! I'm happy for you." I am...was.
Not so much now.
Some in which are boys. My mother seems to think that since I talk to this particular boy an awful lot, I’m in love with him. Not exactly. If that were the case, I’m also in love with a gay boy and my best friend, that’s a girl. So nope. I think he may have those feelings for me though, which I’m afraid to find out. It may be awkward knowing he loves me, and I’m more of "Hey what’s up BFF?" but I’m not sure. Life sure is in a fickle.
So my best guy friend likes me….A lot. and I know. But I don’t like him, in that way. And would rather keep it “friends”. And basically I have been told to tell him I don’t like him. But I know his story. Who he is, and what’s happened. I was basically there. And if you were me, you would know why I can’t. and why it would be hard.
I actually pretend I forgot who he was...he believed me, I think.
"Come on beautiful, think." he sad .
"You know me." I do. A lot. And I hate it when he speaks to me that way. How do you respond to a person that thinks your beautiful. Nobody has ever said it to me...
I promised myself that after the first time i was hurt...i wouldn't let it happen again.
and i don't plan to let it...but it already has.my best friend is dating the boy I like. Isn’t that great? Yeah it’s so great to see them kiss, and hold hands, and just “cuddle” with each other. Yeah. Trust me. It’s not easy, why would it be? But I want her to be happy…so I keep quiet. That’s good…right? I’m not really sure.
"Your okay with it, right?" she asked.
"...Yeah...that's great! I'm happy for you." I am...was.
Not so much now.
♠ ♠ ♠
life or fiction? guess.