He Won't Be Coming Home

"Mommy, Daddy, wake up!" Alex said joyfully as he jumped up and down on the bed. I groaned and opened my eyes, turning over.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I sat up and yawned. Alex jumped down onto his knees on the space between Matt and I.

"My uncles are here! They told me to come wake you up," he said, now bouncing on his knees. I looked over at Matt, who was now sitting up, and then glanced at the clock on the wall. It was only a little after eight in the morning. It was quite unusual for any of our friends to be awake that early in the morning. It must have been important.

"Alright, alright. We're up," I said and stretched before getting out of bed. Alex jumped down and pulled my hand, leading me to the door as Matt followed behind. When we arrived downstairs, Zacky, Jimmy, Brian, and Johnny were all sitting in the living room, staring at the TV which was playing the news.

"Hey sleepyheads," Diane giggled from Johnny's lap.

"Hey, what's going on? Where are the rest of my girls?" I asked her.

"They're at home sleeping," she replied, and then looked at the TV.

"What's this?" Matt asked, pointing at the news.

"Um... well, it's not good," Brian said, and then looked up at us while Matt and I stood in the doorway. "It's about the war. They've made some changes in plans."

I looked from Brian to the TV and listened. "Just this morning, the President announced another surge of troops to be sent to Iraq. Because the previous surge is still in effect, this will call for a draft pick of eligible bodies to be sent into war. Men aged 18 to 45 will be picked at random under the condition that they have signed the drafting contract..." I heard the news anchor announce.

"...What?" I asked in confusion. "Draft contract?"

"We're all eligible to be picked for this," Matt said quietly.

"Why you?" I asked.

"Because... it's against the law when you turn eighteen to not sign drafting papers. They act as a contract stating that if a draft is enacted in a state of war, the signer is eligible to be picked to enter the war. We all signed one. All five of us are able to go..." Zacky said as Alex crawled into his lap.

"...They won't pick you. How could they? There's like, a less than one percent chance that one of you could possibly be picked.... Right?" I asked, looking around the room at the faces of my closest friends.

"It's picked at random. If they're looking at a large draft, there's no telling who goes or who stays. Any one of us could go," Jimmy said.

"But... you all have families, and and the band! They can't just rip you away from your lives to go fight someone else's war, can they?" I asked. There was no way my friends... my husband.... could get sent into war.

"Sweetie," started Diane, "it's the United States Government. They can do whatever they want. It's treason to refuse if chosen in a time of war."

I sighed. It was way too early in the morning for me to deal with this. "What can we do?" I asked.

"There's nothing to do. We wait and see if we go or not," Brian said.

"It's not fair," I said, crossing my arms as Matt wrapped his around me.

"Do you think Bush cares if it's fair or not?" Zacky asked indignantly. "He just wants to do what his daddy couldn't and he doesn't care if he ruins the lives of people like us," he finished, sitting back and crossing his arms.

Alex turned and looked at Zacky. "Uncle Zacky, what's Bush?" he asked, cocking his head to one side.

"He's a very bad man," Zacky replied, and Alex turned around to face me.

"Is he like the Green Goblin?" he asked innocently. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes sweetie, only Bush is more evil than the Green Goblin," I replied, and Alex's eyes went wide with fear.

"He won't send my daddy away, will he?"

"I hope not," I replied, looking at Matt with sympathetic eyes.

A few days had passed since the extra draft had been instated, and so far neither Matt nor our friends had been notified they were being drafted. I was in a pretty good mood, because it gave me more hope as every day went by that none of them were being sent away.

I went out to check the mail one Tuesday in late April, and my hope increased when I saw all we had was junk mail and bills and a letter from my cousin in Florida. I went back inside, a smile on my face, and Matt looked up when he heard the door shut. "Nothing?" he asked.

"Nope. I don't think they're going to send you out," I said.

"...I wouldn't go so far as to say that. There's still time; it's only been a few days," he said, his voice dull.

"... I know. I'm just trying to keep a positive outlook Matt," I sighed, and my smile faded.

"I know, I'm sorry babe. Come here," he said, and held his arms out. I walked over and sat in his lap, his arms circling around my waist. "I hope you're right," he sighed into my neck.

"Me too." Just then, a knock came from the front door. "I'll get it," I said, and stood up, but I didn't have to go far because the door was flung open, and I was startled. Zacky walked in with his partially-pregnant fiance, Sarah, a white paper clutched in his hand. I could tell by the look on his face he was angry, but the look in his eyes told me he was frightened. I didn't even need to ask what the paper in his hand meant; his expression said it all. Sarah's eyes were red and puffy and that only gave me further confirmation.

"Zacky..." I said, my voice shaking. He walked over and slammed the paper on the table. It was crinkled up, so he must have had a fit and taken some rage out on that paper with his fist.

"Fucking read that shit," he growled.

"Zacky, keep your voice down, Alex can hear you," I scolded. His eyes flashed toward the living room door which was open and he walked past me, sticking his head in.

"Hi Uncle Zacky!" I heard Alex say excitedly.

"Hey buddy... Can you stay in here for me?" Zacky asked quietly. There was a pause before I heard him say "Thank you," and then disappeared into the room a minute. I heard the volume on the TV escalate and then Zacky reappeared and came back to the kitchen, closing the door behind him.

I looked over at Matt, who had just finished reading the letter Zacky had set down. He sighed deeply, running a hand over his face. "This is unreal," he said.

"Unreal!? It's fucking bullshit, is what it is!" Zacky said, trying not to raise his voice too much. "I can't go, I have a fucking kid on the way," he said, his voice beginning to crack; he was trying his best not to cry.

"Oh, Zacky," I said and I took him into a hug. "It'll all be alright," I cooed.

He sniffled. "No, it won't. I don't wanna die," he said, and then pulled away. Sarah came over and took his hand in hers, a solemn expression on her face.

"Man, don't say that. You're not going to die," Matt said, standing up. It was silent for a long time after that, until finally Zacky spoke up.

"Canada," he said, like some grand thought just stuck him. "We can move to Canada to escape the draft... like they did during 'Nam!" he said, talking fast.

"Get real, man. You think they won't be guarding the borders?" Matt said, sounding just as scared for Zacky as Zacky felt for himself.

"There's gotta be something... Someone disable me. Then I can't go. Go get a knife and cut off my leg or something," Zacky said, sounding completely insane.

"Dude..."

"Okay, so maybe just a couple fingers! I don't wanna fucking go over there!" he said. But he knew, just like the rest of us, that there was no escaping the war. It would catch up to every single one of us, whether we wanted it to or not.

I came home from work, a week after Zacky had received his letter. The house was quiet, and I called out for Matt, earning no response. But my heart about broke when I saw him on the couch, holding onto Alex for dear life in a hug. There were tears streaming from Matt's closed eyes.

"Baby?" I asked quietly. He opened his eyes and looked at me. "You okay?" I asked, though I knew nothing was okay. He sniffled and pulled back from Alex, who looked sad just because he knew his father was sad. It was then that I noticed a white envelope on the coffee table, and Matt slid it across the polished wood to me. I saw the symbol of the U.S. Army in the corner and didn't need to read the letter inside; didn't want to read the letter inside.

"No.... no," I said feebly, shaking my head side to side. There was no way my love was going to be sent away from me... from Alex. He was only seven; he needed his father. And I needed my husband. "You can't go," I whispered as I joined Matt and our son on the couch.

"Mommy.... is Daddy going away?" Alex asked, and I saw tears coming to his small eyes.

"Yeah..." I nodded, tears leaking from my own eyes as well. Why lie to him? He'd find out Matt was leaving when the time came, and then he would be even more upset that I'd lied to him. I looked at Matt and without saying a word, he sat Alex to the side and got up.

"I'll be right back," he said, leaning down to place a kiss on the top of his son's head. He took my hand and we went back into the kitchen.

"Matt..." I said, my voice cracking, and he took me into his arms as I cried. He rocked me back and forth, but no amount of comforting gestures would take away the ache in my heart. After many long minutes I leaned away to ask the question I was dreading to find the answer to. "When do you leave?"

"They ship me off to basic training in three weeks. Zacky too," he said, running the palm of his large hand down the side of my face.

"I... I guess it makes it a little better... that you'll have each other over there," I said, trying to make the best out of a situation nothing good could come out of.

"If I had to be over there, I'd want one of my best friends with me," he Matt whispered, and then kissed my forehead as I stood there in his arms, enjoying what would be the start of the last precious moments I would spend with my husband.