Rome and Julie

“Rome, don’t look so upset to see me here,” Jeremy said, making the anger in Rome’s face deepen. I glanced over my shoulder at Jeremy, seeing his familiar smug face. I rolled my eyes and sighed, turning back to Rome. He was looking down at me, not saying anything. Then I realized he was waiting for me to decide what I was going to do.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered, truly meaning it. I didn’t want to leave Rome, or the embrace of his arms, but I had to. Rome nodded once and quick, let go of me, and began to walk away without another word. For a few seconds that were silent to my ears, even though I knew music was playing and people were chatting, I just stood there dumbfounded by the weird feeling of betrayal. And I was the one doing the betraying.

Finally, I got a hold of myself and turned around, finding Jeremy. And suddenly I realized many other couples were on the dance floor. When Rome and I were dancing, I couldn’t see anyone but us. That thought was followed by a harsh mental smack to my brain. What the hell was wrong with me?

“Julie. Hello again.” I faked a smiled that mirrored his own. I didn’t want to dance with Jeremy. I knew that. I also knew, however stupid the thought was, that I wanted to dance with Rome, and only Rome.

What’s wrong with you, idiot?!

My mind screamed at me, and I quickly pushed the thoughts away, for Jeremy was staring at me in worry. He probably thought I was momentarily mental.

“Oh. Hello.” My voice didn’t hold as much enthusiasm as I tried to put into the two words, so it came out sounding forced and phony. Jeremy must’ve noticed, for his smile faltered, although he did take a step forward, grabbing my hand and putting us in a dance position.

“I’m sorry, but I have to ask,” Jeremy paused, beginning to dance. I couldn’t tell what song it was; all I heard was a jazzy saxophone. “Are you in love with Rome?” Instead of freaking out like I should have, I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat and answered in a calm, even tone.

“No.”

“Thank God.” Jeremy, I noticed, pulled me a little closer after my reply, and it just felt weird. I didn’t like Jeremy like he liked me, obviously. If I loved Jeremy at all, it was strictly brother-sister love. “How has your night been?” I swallowed again, hoping to erase the sudden scratchiness in my throat that I was feeling.

“Uh… it’s been pretty good,” I answered in a voice I didn’t recognize. At all. “Sorry,” I said, seeing the worried look cross Jeremy’s face. “I… I don’t feel right.” I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut for a few minutes. What was this foreign emotion settling in the pit of my stomach. It felt… wrong. Yet, it felt right.

“Julie. What do you mean?” Jeremy’s voice sounded genuinely concerned, so I opened my eyes, biting my lower lip. Heck, I didn’t know what I meant.

“I really don’t know.”

“Julie, do you need to sit down?” Jeremy pulled away a little, and I was immensely thankful for the separation.

“Yes. Yes I do.” When Jeremy wasn’t holding me anymore, I automatically felt a little better. I turned towards my table, but the first person my eyes started searching for wasn’t there. Where was Rome?

When Jeremy and I made it to my table, I barely heard him telling me he was going back to his table, and my mind didn’t even think twice about the way he sounded hurt. I was still searching for Rome.

“Where’s Rome?” Was the first thing out of my mouth when I sat down. Mine and Rome’s friends, I noticed, were all staring at me.

“Would you care to explain to me what exactly passed between you and Rome out there, little missy?” Molly’s words knocked me out of my obsessed search, and finally, I was back in reality again.

“Whoa. What?” I said, deflating a little in my seat. My mind was exhausted.

“We all saw that little exchange between you two. The looks, the touches. What was that all about?” Carrie asked, a magical look in her eyes. I sighed, shaking my head.

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” I said.

“Even we noticed it. And we’re guys,” One of Rome’s friends, Michael I think, said. His other buddies nodded and grunted their agreements. I rolled my eyes as my response, afraid that if I answered, I would continue making a fool of myself.

“Don’t do that, mate. I’m no relationship guru, and I sensed something,” Sydney said in a condescending voice. I didn’t want to discuss whatever ‘exchanges’ they were talking about. Quite frankly, I was ready for this party to be over with so my friends and I could have a real party at Rome’s tonight.

“Guys, could we not talk about this? The night’s not exactly going as easy as—”

“Julie Corbin? Rome Madden?” I was interrupted by Mrs. Madden’s voice, which was once again over the PA system. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to allow our young couple and beneficiaries of Madden&Corbin Company a dance by themselves.” I winced a little, my heart dropping somewhere between my feet and hell, and slowly turned in my chair.

The platform Mrs. Madden was perched upon had lights that illuminated whoever was standing on it, and she happened to be looking at me, a sinister glow about her. Her smile read friendly, but I saw beyond that. She was plotting.

Immediately, I scanned the room for Rome, noticing how nearly everyone in the room was staring at me. At the moment, I could hardly care. Finally, I found Rome, standing alone, in the very far corner of the room, arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the wall. His lackadaisical stance said he was nonchalant and blasé, but the expression on his face said otherwise.

I stood up slowly, realizing there was no way out of this. Mrs. Madden dug Rome and I deep in a hole. That was Typical Beth Madden.

Rome put the leg that was propped against the wall behind him on the floor, starting his way towards the dance floor. This being the only movement in the room, a few heads turned towards Rome, but still, most were glued on me. Hesitantly, I started walking towards the dance floor, tearing my eyes away from Rome to Mrs. Madden, getting enough confidence to glare at her. Surprise flickered in her emotions, but it was quickly masked into the serene hostess she was with no evil, underlying meaning to her actions.

“Oh my God.” I faintly heard Sydney’s accent behind me before I blocked out any sounds in the room. Mrs. Madden just didn’t know when to stop. My blind anger was beginning to take over my body. I could feel it race through my blood, spreading to every limb, every joint.

“Everyone give a hand to my Rome and his Julie.” Mrs. Madden’s voice knocked me momentarily out of my ire filled rage, then everyone’s clapping pushed me further. I could now think sane thoughts that didn’t involve Mrs. Madden’s head disconnected from her body. Rome and I were now a yard apart, standing facing each other, confused, yet hesitant to start dancing.

Soon, a song started playing, leaving the sound of a sweet saxophone ringing out the melody to All I Want for Christmas is You around the whole ballroom. Then, to make matters way worse, the lights dimmed, and a spotlight was placed on Rome and I. I inhaled sharply, stepping up to Rome, allowing him to put us in our usual dance position.

“Julie—”

“Rome. I’m sorry, but I hate your mother,” I cut Rome off, whispering in a low tone so anyone close enough couldn’t hear. That’s the farthest thing from what needed to get out; fiancée to the son of Elizabeth Madden out for her blood. Despite our current situation, Rome chuckled, and we started to dance.

“That’s completely understandable.” Rome’s voice was slightly changed since that last time we spoke; the last time we danced. I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but he sounded unnerved and unsure. Almost like he was going through something he didn’t know how to handle.

“Are you all right?” The question came out before I could stop it. Rome’s little composure faltered even more. I wasn’t used to seeing him so vulnerable. So… easy to see through. “You seem…”

“Yeah. I’m… I’m fine.” Rome sighed, glancing around quickly. “Everyone’s staring.”

“That’s what usually happens when a spotlight is placed upon someone,” I answered sarcastically, getting another chuckle from Rome. Too much had happened tonight. Beyond too much. Even though I was happy all my friends were together and I was actually seeing them, I couldn’t wait until the night was over.

“I’m sorry my mom is doing this. I guess nothing we say can convince her that I’m… that we’re never…” Rome struggled over his words, and I looked away from his intense eyes.

“That we’re never going to love each other?” I supplied, feeling that foreign feeling once again arise. I didn’t enjoy stating that Rome and I didn’t love each other, nor would we ever. In fact, I hated saying it.

“Uh… yeah,” Rome said, sounding awkward and in distress. Hell, I was in distress. I had a good reason to be too. All this shit being thrown at me tonight was a little too much to handle. “I’m sorry she’s causing a little trouble between—”

“A little? There’s the biggest understatement of the damn decade,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

“Hey, Julie. You seem to have a knack for interrupting me tonight.” This got a smile out of him. “I’m trying to apologize on my mother’s behalf, since she doesn’t understand anything, obviously.” I waited a few moments before replying.

“Are you finished? Wouldn’t want to interrupt you again…” I said, grinning at him. He playfully rolled his eyes in response. But soon my smile was gone, and I sighed heavily. “Rome…” My voice was barely a whisper. “What the hell are we gonna do? I hate to be a party pooper… but this is serious,” I stated, staring hard into his eyes.

“If I knew, this would already be over and done with.” I didn’t know what ‘this’ was, but quite frankly, I didn’t want to know. It seemed the more you knew, the more you got hurt and confused.

“I don’t even know what the hell is going on. I’m really, really confused,” I said shaking my head. “Your mother is driving me to the point of true insanity. I feel like we’re both having doubts that this marriage is even beneficial to us. All my friends are here, plus yours, and this night was supposed to be carefree. And to make everything worse, I think Maggie’s slowly turning depressed. You know, because of Robert. And, I haven’t seen Max enough!” I finished, feeling as though I was about to cry. And, with my loathing for crying, it only made matters thrice worse.

“Julie… you’re having doubts about our marriage?” Rome’s voice was even softer than before, and it held actual hurt. I swallowed, biting my lower lip.

“Aren’t you?”

“No. Not once have I ever thought we weren’t capable of marriage, or anything could get in the way of that,” Rome said, smiling a sad smile. It broke my heart. “Is being engaged to me ruining your life?” His voice was so poignant that I felt tears build up in my eyes.

“No, Rome. I just thought that… I mean, I think that I’m not good enough for… Your parents, they don’t…” My words were broken, and my sentences were unfinished, but I didn’t know how to say that I was making the Maddens’ lives difficult, and I didn’t like being a burden to them all.

“You’re not good enough?” Rome exclaimed, somehow remaining quiet. “Julie Felicity Corbin, don’t ever say you’re not good enough. You’ve kept me somewhat human all these years, otherwise I would’ve turned into carbon copies of my parents. Without you, I don’t… I mean, I couldn’t have…” He started stammering like I was, and I realized that conversation between us needed to momentarily stop. We could have this talk later, alone, where hundreds of people weren’t watching our every move and expression.

“Rome, let’s talk about this later. For now, let’s just dance.” Rome’s slightly crazed eyes softened, and he nodded, smiling again, although it didn’t reach his chocolate eyes. I squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. I was finished being the crazy Julie. I could deal with this bump in the road. Hell, this was a mountain in the road.

Finally, the song made its sweet close, and Rome and I were allowed to sit down after everyone smiled and gave us an applause. When we finally made it to our table and into our chairs, we simultaneously let out a relieved breath of air.

“So…” Sydney started, trailing off, her one word clarifying that it was awkward. I slid a look over to her, telling her with my expression to not even ask. “We raging tonight, mates? Cause these tall poppies are beginning to make me aggro.”

“Yes, Syd. We’re partying,” I said through a laugh. And just like that, the tension loosened, and we went back to normal conversation. Well, Rome and I pretended we were okay and everything was happy go lucky, but I could sense his troubled mood, just as he could probably sense mine. Luckily, Mrs. Madden didn’t ask us to dance in front of everyone again, give a speech, or play a part in some other ploy she could cook up in that evil mind of hers.

“I gave you all directions to my house earlier right? Because Julie and I have to stay until everyone leaves. My parents always make us say goodbye to everyone at the door.” Everyone murmured their yeses to Rome. It was getting late at night, and even if there wasn’t a large, grand clock high on the wall, you could tell anyways by the way the elder guests started nodding off. Younger guests were up dancing, trying to make the most of the Christmas party that was left.

“Rome, Julie.” Mrs. Madden’s voice was once again behind us, but at least it wasn’t over the intercom. “Can you come talk to a few people for me?” Rome and I glanced at each other before getting out of our chairs. No doubt these were the potential clients Mrs. Madden was talking about earlier.

We followed Rome’s mother, and I studied her dark hair as we made our journey. Rome, I noticed, started relaxing for the first time since we danced to I’ll Be Home for Christmas. Of course he would. He knew how to work, and he was comfortable with anything related to work. Rome was entering his comfort zone.

“Mr. and Mrs. Smith, this is Rome Madden and his soon to be bride, Julie Corbin.” I stifled my pointless laugh at the ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’ part of Mrs. Madden’s introduction, thinking about how much I loved that movie. I briefly wondered if Rome had seen it before I realized Mr. Smith had his hand out for me to shake.

“Oh! I apologize. Nice to meet you, sir,” I said, giving my best smile, shaking his hand lightly before nodding my head slightly in Mrs. Smith’s direction. I learned long ago that females never shake the hand of the business owner’s wife. You nodded politely as your greeting.

“You look very stunning tonight, Miss. Corbin. Absolutely beautiful. Rome, you are a very lucky man,” Mr. Smith said, his eyes not leaving my face, even though he ended the sentence directed towards Rome.

“I know, sir,” Rome said, and I felt his arm wrap around my waist. I struggled to choke down the surprise that threatened to show in my face. “Speaking of lovely things, I’ve had an eye on your business—” From there, I tuned out, knowing Rome would repeat every little word that they exchanged to me later. I noticed Mrs. Smith doing the same. Our eyes met, and we timidly smiled at each other like we were used to the men in our lives going on about business. I knew I’d have to live with that the rest of my life, but I knew I was lucky. Heck, I was going to be an owner of a big time business, and become a millionaire, if not a billionaire. And it was all handed to be on a silver platter.

I then noticed Mrs. Madden was still in our little circle, watching Rome and I with a very close eye. I noticed her gaze fall to Rome’s arm that was wrapped around my waist, and I rolled my eyes at the smug expression on her face. She seriously ticked me off.

After a few more minutes, I felt Rome start pulling us in another direction.

“Goodnight, Miss. Julie,” I heard Mr. Smith say as Rome lead us elsewhere. I looked over my shoulder, smiled at him, and lifted my hand in a wave.

“Great job, dear. And Julie, they both seem to like you very much,” Mrs. Madden said. I rolled my eyes again, taking a deep breath.

Don’t go over there and claw her perfectly made face off. Don’t tackle her to the floor. Don’t pull her hair out. Don’t punch her as hard as you can in the face.

My mantra worked until we got to more clients, who then distracted me away from my violent thoughts. I actually put in my input in this conversation with the Haggards, and I couldn’t help but feel satisfactory at Mrs. Madden’s impressed look.

“I’ll think about it, and I’ll give you guys a call,” Mr. Haggard said, smiling. “But now, I must go dance with my lovely wife.” Rome and I watched as he took his wife’s hand, and took her towards the dance floor. The smile on Mrs. Haggard’s face was so happy that I felt my own smile slide into place. Romance like that was adorable. Even if the Haggards looked to be over sixty.

“Okay, dears, I’ll be closing the party in about ten minutes. You can continue mingling with your… friends.” Mrs. Madden said, giving us a tight smile before turning around and walking in a different direction.

“Why is she so unbearable?” I asked, grimacing at Mrs. Madden’s disappearing frame. Rome chuckled from beside me, removing his arm from around my waist. I wondered briefly if he only did it for show, to impress his mom and our clients.

“I’m so sorry, Jules. You don’t deserve to be going through this.” Rome, despite his previous laughter, sounded genuinely sorry even though I’d just insulted his own mother, and I smiled a little.

“It’s easy to go through with people like you by my side,” I said, linking my arm through his, starting to walk again, taking us back towards the comfort of our table. I thought for a few seconds that Rome was going to protest by how tight and tense he was, but soon, he loosened up and relaxed. “So, would it be totally unacceptable to not say goodbye to every freaking person and just go straight to your house?”

“Julie, it definitely would be unacceptable. To my mother, anyways.”

“Where’s your dad?” I asked, realizing that I hadn’t seen him all night. I began to look around for the attractive face of Christopher Madden.

“Um… I honestly don’t know. I haven’t seen him all night.” Rome started looking around too, and neither of us came up lucky. “That’s weird. He’s usually up and around talking to everyone.”

“I know. I’ve come to every single one of these stupid things. Remember?” I teased, getting a light smile from Rome. But I was a bit curious as to why Mr. Madden had disappeared. Maybe his dinosaur-like wife had finally got to him, and he’d had enough and ran away. Hey, I wouldn’t blame him. In fact, I don’t see how he’s been able to stand her all those years of marriage. Did they even date? Or was their marriage arranged? Perhaps they partly had a choice, like Rome and I—

“Julie, look. There he is. Coming in with… what’s her name?” Rome paused, pointing towards a door in the back of the ballroom. Sure enough, Mr. Madden was walking in with some young, pretty lady, and their were laughing up a storm. Wait—what? “Hilary Nimble, I think?” He waited a beat, before reality finally settled. “Wait. Why has he been with her?” His voice sounded just as suspicious as my speeding thoughts. “Julie… do you think he’s…?”

“No. No, no, no. Rome, you’re father would never have an affair with another woman. He’s not that stupid.” Was he? I sure as hell hoped not. Mr. Madden cheating on Mrs. Madden could cause severe chaos.

“I don’t think he would do that. No way. He and my mom were high school sweethearts,” Rome said, causing my mouth to fall open in shock. High school sweethearts? There’s a shock. I didn’t think Mrs. Madden was capable of genuine love.

“What do you mean?” I demanded, insanely curious.

“What did I say to confuse you?”

“High school sweethearts?” I accused disbelievingly. A sarcastic expression found its way onto my face. “Really? That must be a joke.” Rome, however, wasn’t laughing nor looked the least bit amused. My mouth fell into a frown, and I looked away from his face, down at the floor. Now wasn’t the time, obviously, for my poor attempt at being humorous. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t assume—,”

“No, Jules. Stop apologizing. It’s understandable to believe that my parents… aren’t affectionate,” Rome was struggling for his words, and I immediately felt very awful.

“God, Rome, I’m sorry.” Rome opened his mouth to protest my apology, but I hurriedly continued before he could get a word in. “Here all night I’ve been a major downer on this supposed-to-be-amazing night. I mean, insulting your parents — given, most of my insults were directed towards your mother in particularly — wishing that tonight was over with, not to mention my mind has been somewhere else entirely—,”

“Julie!” His voice wasn’t exactly loud, but the volume made me realize we were just kind of standing randomly in the ballroom, close enough for people around us at the tables could overhear our conversation. Before I knew it, Rome was laughing, and I just stood there, dumfounded, mouth open, waiting for him to control himself. “You are such a silly girl.”

“Should I be insulted you’re calling me silly, or that you called me a girl?” Rome’s barreling laugher had died down a few levels, but he was still chucking when he finally answered. I narrowed my eyes, crossing my arms defensively over my chest.

“You have every right in the world to insult my parents, wish tonight would end, and have a wandering mind. You of all people are allowed to feel that way! You are such a kind person. When will it end?” Rome exclaimed more than questioned. It was obvious that it was a rhetorical question, so I rolled my lips into a thin line, waiting for some kind of explanation. Finally, he gave it to me. “I don’t want to hear your protests, so zip your mouth shut until I finish speaking,” He paused, waiting for my evasive, wandering eyes to meet his. “I already didn’t deserve you from day one we were said to marry each other. And with you being so kind, and wonderful, and… and beautiful, I absolutely cannot stand it. We’re not equal on any terms or in any way, and I am ashamed to stand next to you. You far exceed me in every aspect and quality, and with that face of yours, it’s so easy to see.”

My mouth was slack by the time he was done. I was stoned in shock, expressionless — hopefully — and silent. Too many emotions and feelings were whizzing at an incredible speed throughout my whole body. I could feel it in my toes, my stomach, my throat. Not to mention the amount of thoughts that were all interpreting Rome’s words differently left me confused and slightly dazed.

“You. Are. Insane,” I mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear. I rolled my eyes and managed to tear my eyes away from his intense gaze. “If you think for a moment I’m going to sit here and let you tell me that I’m… that I’m better than you on every level, then you’re dead wrong. I’m the immature, young, inexperienced teenager!” I knew immediately that the conversation was getting too heated — even if it was only on my side — by the way a few heads turned curiously in mine and Rome’s direction. I cleared my throat to calm myself. “I shouldn’t have to tell you that you’re wonderful. You should know. Everyone else who’s ever known you does, that’s for sure.” Rome shook his head anyway, which was followed by my very irate eye roll.

“Julie—,”

“How about we have this conversation later? When we don’t have an audience?” I said, forcing out a tight smile. Rome smiled back, more genuine than my own, and blinked slowly. Shocking me to immobility for the hundredth time that night, Rome reached up a hand, cupping my cheek in it. My heart stopped, and I held my breath, waiting for the moment to shatter like all of our moments seem to efficiently do.

“You need to calm down. Like I said, blue fire is much more intense than any kind.” His large but soft thumb gently stroked my cheekbone as he once again referred to my eyes as blue fire. What was with the sudden act of affection? It left me extremely confused, and I concluded that it was all for show. There was no other possibility. “There, now.” Rome’s voice was too soft, too sweet, too calming to my racing heart…

I swallowed hard, very aware of how warm and gentle and still present Rome’s hand was on my face. There was a sheen later of newly developed sweat that coated the nape of my neck. I noticed then how Rome and I were just kind of staring at each other, but in a way like we saw the light. Like we…

I pulled away abruptly.

“Excuse me,” I muttered, turning swiftly on my heel, blinded by confusion momentarily as I stalked forward a few yards. I painfully collided with something, realizing that I’d ran into a man’s chair. “Oh, my apologies! I’m so sorry.” I didn’t bother to wait for the assurance that it was okay, and I stepped aside the chair, trying to see more clear as I eyed my path to the nearest exit.

No, no, no.

This was not the plan.

I blocked out Rome’s questioning voice best as I could, even though my mind seemed to want to zero in on his voice and his voice alone. I shook my head harshly, as though my disobeying thoughts would just fall easily out of my ear, and things would be normal. But that wasn’t the case.

When I had made it to the door, I threw a desperate glance towards the doorman, requesting with my eyes to open the large, ominous doors. Rome’s voice was getting closer, which made anxiety fill me from the head to my toes. Finally, the doors opened, and I sprinted out of the ballroom, not even worrying about the pain in my pinkie toe the beautiful heels I was wearing started to cause. My mind was focused on the task at hand. Get away from everyone.

I had rounded a corner before Rome saw me. But I didn’t stop, afraid he would still continue to search for me, most likely to question me of my sudden need to get away from him. Away from the feelings he stirred up in the pit of my stomach.

Tears blurred my vision this time, and wiping them away furiously proved to be futile. More replaced the ones I wiped away quickly, and soon enough I knew I couldn’t hold myself together anymore. I ran into the nearest bathroom, shutting and locking the door securely behind me.

I wrapped my arms around my torso as I started to sob, leaning against the door, sliding slowly and agonizingly to the floor. I stared at the ceiling, although everything around me was a blur. I felt endless tears build up in my eyes and roll down my cheek.

Rome and I were friends. That was the way it was supposed to be. The way it had to be. And he wasn’t supposed to make me feel this way.

Another sob escaped my shaking lips, and I brought both of my trembling hands to my face, covering it, as if it hid some of my shame. I was weak. Rome’s actions were meaningless, and there I was, being a stupid, naïve teenage girl, reading into them too much, making myself feel…

I wiped my hand down my tear-streaked face, resting both of them in my lap.

I started to get up to go to the sinks to work on the damage I’d done to my face, but a knock at the door froze me in my place.