Rome and Julie

“Julie…? Honey?” I had never in my life been so utterly and completely relieved to hear Molly’s voice. “Rome told me to find you.” I inhaled a shaky breath, wrapping my arms around myself again, as though it would pull me together. I wasn’t reassured.

“I’m here,” I croaked out, voice hoarse and scratchy from crying.

“What’s wrong?” Molly’s quiet, worried voice was now a desperate, worried voice. “Are you all right? Let me in, Jules.” I wasn’t sure I could move, let alone stand up to open the door and let Molly see me in all my miserable, pathetic glory. I was very weak, in the mind and physically.

“I… need to be alone for a while,” I said quietly, but loud enough for her to hear. There was a painful silence that followed, and I wondered briefly if she’d left.

“Mrs. Madden ended the party a few minutes ago. Rome told me you needed to meet him at the front doors of the house. You know, to say goodbye to everyone. I don’t know what’s going on right now, but Julie, Rome seemed very upset. More upset, even, then how you sound. It was his expression that nearly ripped my heart out, too. What were you guys discussing that looked so heated — not in a bad way — to the point that you could make Rome, who’s usually so pulled together—,”

By this time, I’d heard enough, so I had grabbed some unknown energy from the heavens, lifted myself, and opened to door to make her stop in her words. She took in my face, rolled her lips into a very, very thin line, and looked towards the floor.

“What happened?” Her voice was so soft that I nearly missed her two words, but they were said with such worry that I opened the door further, a silent invitation for her to come in. I needed to tell someone all the crazy thoughts on my mind. Otherwise, I was sure I’d go insane. After she’d walked in, I once again shut and locked the door.

“Rome and I were talking.” I paused to clear my throat, ashamed of how weak I sounded. “He was telling me how… how much better I was than him.” An expression of disgust found its way onto my face. “I wasn’t quite sure he was serious, but his face was a serious as a heart attack. I didn’t know what to say, because he complimented me so many times. He didn’t have an ounce of shyness, either! It was all so crazy. I told him he was insane, because he was completely acting it!” I took another steadying breath, although they seemed to help none at all. “Then he…. Rome touched me. I can’t — I mean, it was… his hand —,”

“Jules, I saw, not to sound totally creepy. I saw how he touched your face, and that awed expression on your face. I saw it all. Then you pulled away. And the new look on your face… I mean, it hurt me to look at all that agony.”

“What did Rome do?” I asked hesitantly, not really sure if I wanted to know the answer.

“Before you ran into a chair, his expression mirrored yours. Except he seemed kind of confused. Like he figured something out, but didn’t know what to do with that piece of information. Then, you falling over a chair seemed to knock him out of it, and he tried to call you back. I don’t know if you heard that. And he ran after you,” Molly finished, a soft, sad smile on her face. We had moved to sit on the counter while we were talking, and I didn’t even worry if my dress got wet; there were other things on my mind. “Do you think you love him?”

“I can’t, Molly. That’s not the way this is supposed to go.”

“That’s not what I asked.” Her voice was like knives. Well, the question she was asking me was like knives, all stabbing into me, leaving a dull, throbbing pain. I opened my mouth, knowing I had no intention of answering her question, because I didn’t have an answer. I was clueless. “Julie, you’re allowed to love Rome. In fact, I think everyone wants you and Rome to love each other. Especially that mother of his.”

“No, I’m not allowed!” I bellowed out, immediately shrinking down after realizing I was yelling. “Rome and I agreed we were never going to love each other. That we were always going to be friends.” I whispered softly, staring down at my hands in my lap. They looked pale and fragile. I felt fragile. Like I was extremely breakable.

“Do you want to be friends with Rome? By the way he was touching you, it didn’t seem like he wanted to just be friends with you, that’s for sure,” Molly said, resting one of her warm, tan hands on my cold ones. I didn’t look up, though, afraid my eyes would give everything away. Things I didn’t even know yet. I found myself biting my lower lip in concentration, trying to make sense of the current situation I was in. If there was even a situation to make sense of. I wasn’t quite sure of anything at the moment, and usually I was so sure of myself, of my decisions.

“Love is a developing process. It can’t just happen over the time scale of a few seconds or a few touches. It doesn’t work like that,” I said, shaking my head slightly. “I mean, that’s why I hate Romeo and Juliet so much. They fall in love the moment they set eyes on each other, and in a few hours time, they’re engaged! That is insanity, Molly!”

“But you and Rome and already engaged. So it’s different,” Molly joked, getting a small smile out of me. I looked up at the mirror to my right, and immediately looked away after. I looked awful. I needed to get a hold of myself and my emotions. I needed to clear things out. Think for a few minutes. “Rome was serious when he said he needed you at the front door though.”

“I know, I know. I just… need to think for a few minutes, you know?” Molly nodded, giving me a reassuring smile. I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly and deeply. I leaned my head back against the wall behind me, trying to make myself completely at ease.

I didn’t love Rome. I knew that. I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t fall in love with him, and so far, I was doing… iffy, but okay. One night of weird feelings didn’t mean I suddenly started to love him. I knew my heart wouldn’t do that to me, given its clear hate for Romeo and Juliet. Perhaps it was just his sudden actions of affection that made me start to feel different.

The more I mulled over the theory, the more it made sense, and the slower my heart rate was. I started to calm down, relieved that I had a rational solution to my insane tears and running away. Rome shocked me, and I didn’t know how to respond to him acting so strangely. Which explains all the weird feelings and behaviors.

“Okay. I’m good,” I announced, opening my eyes. Molly smiled, but I could tell she wanted to know exactly what made me okay now. “No, I don’t love Rome. I think it’s just that I was surprised that he was acting so… romantic towards me, and I wasn’t sure how to react.” Molly’s eyes looked doubtful, but otherwise she looked relieved I wasn’t in tears anymore.

“Good. Cause I need to clean up this mess you’ve made your once gorgeously beautiful face,” Molly said, holding up her silver clutch, which I was sure probably had tons of makeup in it. And before I could say another word, she started applying everything she could to make me look as I did before I started crying hysterically. “You look marvelous again.” Molly smiled after she was finished, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Although, I didn’t have as much time as before, so it doesn’t look as amazing as it did before—,”

“Molly,” I interrupted, turning towards the mirror, smiling at the reflection. “It looks fantabulous.” I was serious, too. She masked nearly all evidence of tears. The red veins in my eyes were slightly more prominent than before, those being the only sign of my crying. But she couldn’t do anything about that. “Okay. I need to get out there.” But, despite my words and the intention behind them, I didn’t make a move to get up and go.

“Come on Julie. Just… well, just pretend nothing happened. And if Rome questions you directly, just say you’re on your period. Unless of course, you want to just tell him the truth, which is always so much better than lying and—,”

“I’m going with option one. No way am I telling the truth. Plus, it was all just a misunderstanding.” I said, inhaling deeply. Molly groaned, tired of waiting, and grabbed my arm to drag us both out of the bathroom.

I tried to smile a little to myself, and found that I could. I was coming together again, without having to wrap my arms around myself. Molly was still slightly pulling my resisting body, but I wasn’t holding back purposely. I was about to face Rome; a mission I wasn’t exactly happy with.

Molly was leading me to the front door of the Madden household. That was mine and Rome’s usual spot for saying goodbye to everyone and thanking them for coming. Personally, I found this little tradition stupid, but most traditions Mrs. Madden created were stupid.

“Okay. Act normal. You were PMSing. Good? Good. Okay. Go,” Molly said, pushing me around the corner that lead to the front door. Rome was talking to an elderly couple, smiling politely, looking like a gentlemen. For a few split seconds, I felt like turning around and running back to the bathroom to barf in the toilet, but I forced myself to continue forward, my chin tilted slightly up in pride. As I scrutinized Rome as much as I could while he didn’t notice me, I realized he was wearing an olive green and black tie. It matched my dress.

“Rome. Sorry I just took off.” I muttered, smiling at the couple, not looking Rome in the eye, even though I knew he turned he head to look at me. I pretended not to notice the way his eyes widened slightly, as if he didn’t expect me to show my face again.

“Oh… it’s uh… It’s all right.” I inhaled and nodded at the woman, who’s smile was wider than before. I couldn’t help but notice the way she shook her head, as if saying ‘what a young couple.’

“Thanks so much for coming. We enjoyed having you.” I gave my best smile, tilting my head slightly to the right, trying to make it look nonchalant and effortless, even though with Rome standing inches away, I was anything but. When the elderly couple moved on, another younger couple came, and followed by them another. As every year, it goes on and on. Soon, the faces just blurred together, and my body moved mechanically, smiling and shaking people’s hands.

“Jules…” I heard Jeremy before I saw him approaching, and my stomach dropped to my toes. “It was divine seeing you tonight, especially since you look so beautiful.” Jeremy’s words were sweet, and as he approached, I saw how sad he actually looked. When he was close, he pulled me into a hug, and I hugged him back. I feel extremely guilty, especially after the way I acted when we danced.

“Sorry I didn’t see you much, tonight. You can visit whenever you want, you know,” I whispered, pulling my face away from his chest to look up at him. He smiled down at me, kissing me softly on the forehead.

“It’s fine, Julie. You don’t have to apologize for anything.” For the next few moments, Jeremy continued to stare at me, and I pretended that it wasn’t weird, even though for me it definitely was. I wanted to cough awkwardly to break the silence, but I couldn’t find the energy to do so. I was fatigued. “Well, I must be going. I’ll call you soon, love.” With a swift kiss on the cheek, Jeremy was out the front door. I stood for a few moments, frozen, completely unaware of the new couple approaching. Then, a cough nearby brought me from my trance.

“Julie.” It was Rome’s voice. I turned, and found he was standing, arms crossed over his chest, face slightly red. “Are you back in this world?” Rome said in an accusing tone. I narrowed my eyes at him, preparing for a fight, but suddenly, I didn’t feel like having a pointless argument with Rome. I wasn’t sure why he was suddenly angry, or why I suddenly didn’t want to have any mean words between us, but I let my face relax.

“Yes. I am. Sorry,” I murmured, turning my face to smile at the couple, standing a yard away, hesitant if they should cross mine and Rome’s heated conversation. “Thank you for coming.” I smiled, trying to wipe away any emotion other than happiness.

“Yes. Thank you so much,” Rome added, shaking the hand of the man leaving. It continued on for the next half hour, until finally, mine and Rome’s crowd strolled around the corner, laughing incredibly loud. I found myself smiling.

“Oi! Rome! Where’d you hide my Julie at?” Sydney’s voice made my smile grow, and I tossed my hair dramatically at her words.

“Excuse me?” I said, drawling out my words, using the timbre of a prep. “I went off by myself, thanks. With no help from a smelly boy.” Sydney laughed, and as they got closer, I saw her arm linked with one of Rome’s friend’s. In fact, most of my girlfriends had their arms interconnected with a male’s.

“Well, can we go to Rome’s house and party it up now?” Molly exclaimed, causing a few random people give a solid ‘woot!’ I glanced at Rome, finding him smiling, although it didn’t reach his eyes. Hopefully he’d forgotten all about the little scene I’d created almost an hour ago. Although I seriously doubted my luck was as good as having Rome undergo some kind of short-term memory loss. Why’d I have to run away?

Mr. and Mrs. Madden caught us before we could escape, and said goodbye to everyone, but I noticed the way Mrs. Madden’s gaze held onto mine for longer than anyone else’s. No doubt she’d want a private talk as soon as possible.

“Goodbye, children. Have fun tonight,” Mrs. Madden said in a sweet, nice voice, but I saw right through that. Everyone waved politely, probably too afraid to ignore Mrs. Madden. Although her words and tone were nice, anyone with eyes could sense her demanding, powerful presence. She was the kind of person that you respected out of fear of what would happen if you didn’t.

“Yikes,” Margaret said under her breath, making me chuckle as softly as possible, for Mrs. Madden was still in hearing distance.

“Tell me about it,” Rome said equally as quiet, and the whole group laughed. I snuck a look over at Rome, to find he looked more at ease than before, much to my relief. I didn’t think I could deal with an uptight Rome, especially after everything that had happened tonight. I was sure I’d snap.

“No flippin’ way!” Sydney exclaimed when she saw the limo that would be taking to Rome’s house. She let out another excited noise, then she ripped herself away from Rome’s friend — Mick, again — and ran towards it.

“And I thought having a normal car and driver from the airport was awesome…,” Molly said, and my other friends eagerly nodded their approval. And I was no exception to the amazement that usually came with a sleek, grand looking black limo. I was no rich kid like Rome, and seeing a limo made me want to point and jump up and down like a giddy little kid. I remember back when I was younger, and I saw Rome’s parents, who were usually associated with a limo somehow, and the excitement that bubbled through me. Those familiar feelings made me smile, and then I noticed all but Rome and me were standing by the limo, practically purring at its nearness.

“My friends are crazy…,” I muttered, trying to start up some kind of casual conversation with Rome. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard now. Laid-back conversations were easy for us, and I realized that I took them for granted in the past. Cause I made a mistake. “Rome?” I questioned when he didn’t answer, and looked over towards him. I was shocked to find that he was staring at me. Unsure of how to react, I cleared my throat, hoping to jog him into some kind of awareness. It didn’t work, so I took more obvious measures. “Rome!”

“I hear you Julie,” Rome said in a soft voice. I looked at him like he was crazy, nodding my head as if I understood why he wasn’t answering if he could hear me. “Come on. Your friends are getting in the limo.” Sure enough, when I looked over, they were piling in, with the limo driver holding open the door. I had no clue how Rome saw, since he was staring at me and still continued to.

Without another word and a confused expression on my face, I starting walking towards the limo, holding up my dress so it wouldn’t get dirty against the concrete of the long sidewalk. As thoughts whizzed through my never-resting mind, I felt pools of heavy tears form in my eyes. I cursed my tear ducts, willing myself not to cry. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the idea out of my head that Rome and I would never act normal around each other again.

Taking three deep breaths, I felt myself calm a bit. Well, enough to stop the tears that threatening to flow on my cheeks and cause me to crumple up on the concrete beneath my feet and cry my heart out. Because Rome was my best friend. And our humorous way with each other was my most treasured relationship.

Finally, I made it to my best friends, thanking God that it was dark outside and no one could see my probably red face. I made a mental note to myself that I needed to stop crying so damn much. Crying sucked.

“Sit by me, Jules!” Lucas said, being the last one other than Rome and me to enter the limo. I grinned at him, taking his offered hand, letting him help me inside the gorgeous limo. I didn’t watch Rome get in, assuming he even did, following Lucas to the far side of the limo, mouth open in a semi-awe at the blue lights that wrapped around the interior, mirrored ceiling, and the food and drink bar thingy. “Cool, isn’t it?” Lucas said with a laugh that made me smile a sad smile. I looked around the limo, seeing my friends all laughing and having a blast as they ate and joked around with each other, so carefree and blissful. Oh, how I wished for a mere wisp of those emotions at the present time.

I caught Rome’s eye, and for a while, I couldn’t bring enough energy to look away, even with my previous tears forming in my eyes again.

“Julie! Whatcha think about our ride?” Sydney’s voice gave me the strength to tear my eyes away from Rome’s intense, mesmerizing eyes, looking as Sydney’s lit up face. Everyone had a slight blue tint, given the lights around the limo, so I hoped it would hide the fact that tears were still present in my eyes and my face was no doubt getting red and splotchy. “Well?” Sydney said, making me realize I never replied.

“I-it’s great, Sydney,” I said, to my great humiliation, accompanied by my voice cracking. I cleared my throat, pretended my throat was sore, hoping everyone fell for my façade. My pathetic, fake, façade.

The rest of the ride to Rome’s house, which was a grand total of 45 minutes long, I laughed when expected, smiling along with everyone else, trying to get this night over with as painless as possible. Which was proving to not go over so well.

“Can you believe the driver got all of our bags and put them in the trunk for us? I mean, no wonder rich people are so lazy,” Lucas said as we pulled up into Rome’s grand driveway, nudging me in the side playfully. I grinned up at him, hoping he didn’t notice the way my lips shook with effort. Since Lucas and I were the farthest away from the door to get out, we waited last to exit the limo. As we got out, I saw Sydney kissing its black, sleek surface, murmuring some kind of goodbye. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Come on, Syd. It’s just a limo,” I said with a laugh, pulling on her arm, leading her away from the limo to follow the others up Rome’s sidewalk to his porch.

“Just a limo?! Jules, are you bonkers?” Sydney exclaimed, throwing longing looks towards the limo. I continued to laugh, seeing the limo driver begin to get out everyone’s bags from the trunk. “Nooooo!” She wailed as we reached the porch.

“Sydney, tear your eyes away from the limo — which is just a limo, by the way — and look where you’re going so you don’t trip on the steps and bust your pretty little head.” Sydney regretfully turned her head, slumped a little, and walked up the stairs, letting me take her into the house without much of a fuss. “Good girl.”

“Haha,” Sydney said humorlessly, sticking her tongue out at me. She jerked her arm out of my hand, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Awww, come on. You can’t be mad at me the whole night. Remember, we’re partying it up,” I said, getting a smile out of her.

“Touché.” With that, she was immediately over my tearing her away from the limo, and started blabbering about how amazing Rome’s house was, and before I knew it, she was gone like the others, to explore the house and find their rooms for the night. Coincidentally, there were exactly enough rooms in the house to fit all of mine and Rome’s guests. But it left Rome and I no where to sleep. Except, of course, on the couch. Suddenly the front door opened again, revealing the limo driver, tearing me out of sleeping arrangements.

“Miss. Julie, where would you like me to put off of your visitors’ bags?” The limo driver asked, his name failing to come to me momentarily. Rome had only mentioned it once or twice, and there were so many other things on my mind than the name given to the elderly, kind looking man in front of me.

“Uh… I guess just put them in the main living room. I don’t know where Rome wants them,” I said, giving the man a shrug.

“The living room is just fine, Bert. Thank you.” I felt myself go rigid at the sound of Rome’s voice behind me, and it didn’t even register that the name of the limo driver was Bert. I swallowed, glancing around at Rome, to find him coming closer.

To my horror, Bert, nodded, going back out the front door to most likely get the bags. I wanted to yell and scream at him to come back, to not leave me alone with Rome, but my voice failed me. Rome was close. In fact, he was right beside me.

“Julie.”

His voice alone saying my name in such an apologetic, sweet tone had the confusing feelings flood back through me, lighting my veins and blood on fire, heating me all the way to my core. I tried to control my breathing, but failed, and ended up feeling lightheaded. Or maybe it was the deafeningly loud silence that held in the air. His next words made my body threaten to fall over.

“We need to talk.”

I suddenly wanted to puke.