Rome and Julie

Rome stared at me, and I stared right back. I don’t think either of us knew what to do with Jeremy at that point, clutching his nose as he sat on the floor, practically yelling at the top of his lungs. Even when Maggie rushed into the room Rome and I didn’t break eye contact.

“Oh my God! Jeremy, dear! What happened?” Maggie exclaimed, dashing across the room towards Jeremy. I finally looked away from Rome, and stood up off the couch, not at all in the mood to be around Jeremy The Ass. I began moving away towards the door.

Without a backwards glance, I walked out of the house and into the harsh, freezing air, and began to walk. And walk. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know how to fix the situation.

Damn you, Jeremy.

The plaid shirt Maggie’d gotten me for Christmas wasn’t exactly keeping me toasty, so I wrapped my arms around myself, looking around the street. I wondered momentarily what it would be like to live someone else’s life. People go through life, and subconsciously the world revolves around them in their mind. It seemed odd to me to think about someone else’s existence and roll they played on the Earth.

Rolling my eyes, I decided that wasn’t the subject to keep my mind off what had just happened. Nothing probably could, but I’d try. The breeze drifting right through my shirt and jeans reminded me of how cold it was.

All around me was white. The snow covered anything and everything, with the exception of those who’d already shoveled their driveways. Which was odd, considering it was Christmas. Who would shovel their driveway on Christmas morning?

I kept walking down the sidewalk, freezing my ass off, thinking of pointless thoughts and ideas, and not even thinking about where I was going. I’d thought about just walking to the park that was a couple of blocks away, and sitting on a swing. I mean, it wasn’t like it was going to be crowded and full of annoying children.

I looked up at the vast, gray sky, and suddenly I just wanted it to crack open, and suck me up into it. I mostly just wanted to get lost. And not face the problems I knew I was going to have to do eventually. And what must Rome have thought of me? I didn’t know how much he’d heard in or listened to mine and Jeremy’s conversation, but I knew he saw us kiss. Or rather, he saw Jeremy kiss me.

But did he know that I didn’t kiss Jeremy back, and it was bloody awful, and I’d much rather kiss him?

I needed to clear things up with Rome. And make sure that he didn’t think I was some whore.

As I approached the park, many memories swarmed and flashed in my mind. I actually mustered enough positive energy from it to smile. Back when I was younger, going to the park was my most treasured activity of the day, if I’d gotten the privilege to go. That was Maggie’s incentive for me to behave myself while she taught me, or for me to do my chores without complaint. It usually worked, because going to the park gave me a chance to see other people.

From being home schooled since I could remember, I hardly ever got to see any other children when I was young, except on those occasions where I went to the park. We were at that age that who you were playing with didn’t matter, and if you knew them at all didn’t matter either. Just that they were another kid, willing to play and have a good time. It made me feel included.

I made it to the rusty gate where the fence, lining the perimeter of the park, blocked my path. It was unlocked as usual, so I just gave it a gentle shove and it opened for me. The park itself from an outsider’s view was nothing to get excited about. It had a typical layout; slide, swings, monkey bars, a seesaw, and other random play objects that kids could climb on. Also, the paint that covered everything was red and chipped, that being a good indicator of just how old the playground was.

As I approached the swing set, the only sound around me was that of the snow crunching under my feet. As I plopped down onto one of the seats, I kept my thoughts directed towards the landscape and memories that the park caused to come back to me. I knew, however, that I would soon have to go back to the house, confront Jeremy, and talk to Rome.

Joy.

“Julie?”

I only jumped about a mile in the air, causing the chains holding up the swing to move, making me swing around in the air as well. I held my hand to my heart as I tried to stop my swing, actually having to stretch my feet to the ground in order to do so. I couldn’t help but wonder how I’d ended up so short.

“Sorry.”

I looked up, completely forgetting that someone had said my name, which was the cause of me getting scared in the first place. Rome stood there in his jeans and a gray fleece zip up hoody with the word Nike emblazoned in bold letters over the chest. He looked sort of lost, and I swallowed hard, noticing that he had one of my hoodies in his hand.

“Care if I join you?” Rome asked, reaching his free hand up to run it through his hair. He was overwhelmed and stressed, same as me. I opened my mouth to speak, but failed, only managing to get out air. I saw my breath in front of my face as a result, and was reminded of the cold.

“If you give me my hoody, then go ahead,” I said, reaching my hand out in the direction of the aforementioned hoody that looked like it promised warmth. The corner of Rome’s mouth barely lifted as he approached, giving me the hoody as he walked by to sit on the swing beside my own. With that sad little quirk of his mouth came the shattering of my heart.

I swung my legs back and forth as I slipped the hoody on over my head. Then I pulled the sleeves past my hands, and cupped them around the chains holding up the swing. Finally, I looked over at Rome, to find that he was already watching me.

“I wanna begin with telling you that I hate him. Any, and I mean any, chance of Jeremy and me being friends was squandered when he kissed you.” Rome paused, closing his eyes and bringing up his hand to pinch the skin in between his eyes. “He did kiss you, right?” I could sense the jealousy in his voice from a mile away. And I didn’t blame him. If I saw anyone kiss Rome at this point, I know I’d get the urge to tackle them and claw their eyes out. In fact… jealousy was actually… cute on Rome.

“Yes. I promise.” I waited a beat, grimacing at the memory. “It was bloody awful, Rome. Jeremy’s a disgusting, good-for-nothing, misguided prick—”

“Do you love him?”

For a while, I just gaped at Rome silently and laughed hysterically inside at the insanity of his words. Was Rome crazy?

“What? No! Of course not! Did you not hear a thing I just said?” I exclaimed, giving him an incredulous look. “In fact, I don’t even know if I like him as a friend anymore. He violated me. Even after I told him to stop ruining everything. I mean, I thought I made it clear.”

“I kinda listened to your conversation behind the wall,” Rome said, looking down at the snow-covered mulch beneath us. His sheepish expression caused a smile to creep up on my lips.

“You kinda listened? Or you did?” I teased, raising my eyebrow. Rome looked back up, and I already knew the answer. “I honestly don’t care. I have nothing to hide from you,” I stated confidently, giving him a smile. There were a few moments of silence as the air nipped at our skin. Rome’s nose was beginning to turn slightly red from the low temperature.

“I really, really don’t like that he kissed you, Jules.”

I had to turn my face in the opposite direction to hide my smile from Rome, afraid that if he saw, he’d think I was laughing at him. The grinning was a product of how cute of an emotion jealousy was on Rome.

“Please never let him get that close to you again,” Rome said, and I moved my head back in his direction. By his tone, I could tell he was really upset about this.

“I’m sorry, Rome. After practically telling him to back the hell off and shut the hell up, I didn’t think he’d—”

“You have nothing to apologize for. The self-absorbed asshole crying in your living room, however, should be on his knees, begging for your forgiveness.” I smiled softly at Rome, wanting to wrap my arms around his torso and just hug him tight, if that be a good way to comfort him.

“I can’t believe he just did that,” I muttered as I shook my head. Jeremy had most definitely just ruined everything, and at that moment, I couldn’t care less. But something in the back of my mind told me that I would later, when I started to really think about the whole situation.

“The thing is, Jules, I can believe it. Because I told you he liked you, and I’m just glad that I got to you before he did. If I hadn’t… I mean… you might’ve…” As Rome stumbled over his words, I realized what he was getting at and laughed through my nose.

“No, Rome, I wouldn’t have. I’ve never liked Jeremy like that. Ever. I promise,” I tried to assure him, sending him another smile. Rome smiled back, although his was slightly more sad.

“Did you ever think you would like me like that before I told you?” I paused, knowing that I didn’t think I did. Before Rome said anything, and before I got a chance to really view it as a an unbiased observer, I saw him as a brother for sure. But I always wanted him to kiss me. So that had to have meant something, right? “Do you even like me like that now?” Rome asked, his eyebrows beginning to furrow at my silence. The word ‘yes’ nearly leap out of my mouth, but I hesitated, shocked at how easily I was about to confess what I was feeling. Then I pictured Molly, and knew that I needed to stop over thinking things, and just go with what my heart was telling me.

“Yeah,” I said, feeling a grin slip onto my face. I shook my head and watched as Rome sighed heavily — in relief, maybe — and began to smile back at me. “I’m beginning to think that I did all along, or something, and saying I loved you like a brother was just an automatic reaction out of me. Cause, you know… I’m not exactly the lovey-dovey type—”

“Maybe you are,” Rome interrupted, a full-fledged smile on his lips now. “And you just don’t know it yet.” I rolled my eyes, but laughed at his words. He and I both knew that I would never be the lovey-dovey type, and that was just how it was going to be. “Now that that’s cleared up, there’s one more thing…,” Rome said as he got off the swing. As he got closer, my eye narrowed in suspicion, but before I could ask, he bent down to lower his face closer to mine, my shock silencing me. I swallowed hard and gripped the chains of the swing tighter at how close his face was, but managed to not shake in my skin. My heart, however, did its usual thing when Rome was at close proximity, and beat hard till it threatened to break out of my ribs.

Rome smirked, my nervous actions not going unnoticed, and then put his hand under my chin. “Do you mind, dear Juliet?” Rome whispered, his warm breath a relief on my cold cheeks. I rolled my eyes, realizing that he was mocking Jeremy, and how he didn’t ask for permission to kiss me.

“And if I do?” I teased, raising my eyebrow and staring Rome straight into his eyes. His smirk turned into a smile.

“I don’t care.” With that, Rome tilted my face upwards, and brought his lips to mine. My stomach did its back flips, my heart got its exercise, and I got to kiss Rome. He leaned further into me, and moved his hands to rest on my lower back. It was then that I realized what a good kisser was. I didn’t have anyone else to compare to, of course, but he was really good. Good with his hands, and not to mention his lips…

Suddenly, Rome bit my lower lip. Surprised, I yelped and jerked away, bringing my hand up to my lips, although I knew it wasn’t bleeding. His bite was gentle, as weird as it sounded. And it felt almost… good?

“What?” Rome said through a laugh, as though he knew what I was freaking out about. “You’ve never had someone do that to you before?” I looked up into his handsome face and frowned, realizing that he didn’t know. How could he not know?

“Rome…,” I started, feeling heat fill my cheeks with embarrassment. “You’re the first person I’ve kissed.” I paused, searching his eyes. “Ever.” I noticed Rome lean away slightly, and I briefly wondered if he thought lower of me now. “Well, you know, besides Jeremy.”

“You’re kidding,” He said, almost smiling. “I’d expect guys to hit on you all the time. At least once in your life.” I stayed quiet, for the truth was, guys did hit on me. Mostly at camp. But I told them I was already taken, and they backed off. I always said I was taken. “Don’t tell me…,” Rome said, as though reading my thoughts. “Now I feel bloody awful, Julie. I’m sorry. You could say no, but I couldn’t. It was high school, Jules. You remember when I went through that stage. I was young and stupid—”

“Rome, shut up. It’s okay,” I said, cutting him off. Yet I still felt embarrassed. Why had I pushed away any guy that ever showed interest in me? Why was I faithful to Rome all my life, and why wasn’t he faithful to me?

“No it’s not….,” Rome whispered, bringing his hand up to cup my cheek. “Damn it, Jules. I’m sorry,” He said, stroking my cheek with his thumb. I inhaled deeply, and smiled at him, knowing that he truly was sorry.

“It’s the past, Rome. I’ll be okay.” I mirrored him, and brought my hand to his face, trying to let him know that I would be okay. “As long as it doesn’t happen again, though. Next time I won’t be so forgiving,” I joked, slapping his cheek gently. He laughed with me, and the tensions were finally loose. Rome kissed me again quickly, catching me by surprise.

“Just to make sure Jeremy’s germs were gone,” Rome said, winking at me. “And next time we’re kissing, follow my lead.” I blushed, my embarrassment multiplying tenfold. He kissed my cheek, surprising me yet again. Rome seemed oddly happy. “Oh, don’t be embarrassed. I’ll make a good kisser out of you, yet, my dear. That I assure you.” My mouth dropped open, and I shoved him away.

“What are you trying to say?” I exclaimed, watching as Rome’s amusement skyrocketed. He simply shrugged, however, an innocent look on his face. I jumped out of my swing, and went to shove him again, except he captured my wrists before I could, and jerked me to his chest. I ended up tripping over my feet, however, and plummeted into him, sending us both to the ground. “Let go, asshole!” I said, failing to hide my smile as I struggled against his grip on my wrists.

“Julie, you really need to watch your language. That, or wash your dirty mouth out,” Rome teased in a chastising voice. I tried to escape from my position on top of Rome, and I tried to keep my blush at our arrangement at minimum, but failed on both accounts.

“Let me go, Rome,” I demanded in a low voice, pretending to be angry. He only smiled at me and kept me close, all the while keeping me warm. I doubted that was his intention, however. “You’re such a jerk.” I gave up in my futile attempt to set myself free, and pouted towards the ground.

“Awww. Don’t be too upset, honey. I didn’t mean it like that,” Rome said, causing me to look at him suspiciously. “Honestly. I wouldn’t want to kiss you if I thought you were a bad kisser.” I still didn’t respond, my humiliation still on high throttle. “I’m sorry,” Rome groaned, shaking me a little.

“Did you just call me honey?” I finally said, watching in amusement when Rome rolled his eyes. Without warning, he flipped us over, so I was on the ground. The snow immediately started to soak through my clothes, and my temperature dropped about a hundred degrees. “Rome! It’s freezing.”

“We’ll go inside in a minute. You’re the one who came out here in the first place. I had to follow you to make sure you didn’t get pneumonia or something. Who walks outside in the middle of winter without a jacket?” Rome questioned, staring down at me expectantly.

“Shut up,” I replied curtly, beginning to push at his chest. “Get off. I’m freezing my ass off here—”

“Nuh uh uh. No cursing. You’re too pretty to curse,” Rome said, making no sense at all, yet still making me laugh a little.

“But I’m still a bad kisser.” I paused, waiting for Rome to stop groaning in exasperation. “See if I ever let you kiss me again,” I warned, raising my eyebrow.

“That’s rude.” Rome frowned momentarily, before it was replaced by a smirk. “As if you’ll be able to help yourself.”

“Your narcissistic attitude sickens me.” I paused, watching his smirk widen. “Now get off.”

Finally, Rome relented and rolled off of me, getting up before I could to offer me his hand. I rolled my eyes and accepted it, letting him pull me up. I twisted around to look at my backside, only to find it covered in snow. Sighing, I brushed as much of it off as I was able. I heard Rome laugh, then felt a hand slip into my own.

“Don’t be such a baby. You can change when we get back to the house.” Rome began pulling on my hand towards the exit of the park. “Until then, suck it up.” I shoved my side into his as we began to walk. He only laughed however, completely unfazed by my attempt to hurt him.

We continued to walk in an amiable silence, hand in hand, with an occasional car passing us by on our trek home. Despite the cold, I wished Rome and I could’ve stayed outside for the rest of our lives, because what was at home wasn’t exactly an ideal situation to be in at that moment. Jeremy was probably still there, waiting for me to get back, to either apologize, or tell me that he’s not going to apologize because he had nothing to be sorry for. Not to mention Robert was practically on his deathbed, whose arteries were clogged with plaque and was experiencing a severe case of atherosclerosis. And it was so long-developed that there was practically nothing we could do. It was too late to do much. I was a sitting duck, waiting for bad things to come.

“There’re no promises that I won’t beat the shit out of him again. Just so you know,” Rome noted, glancing over at me. I returned his gaze with a roll of my eyes. The fact was, I didn’t care if Rome hit Jeremy again. Quite frankly, I’d probably get a sick enjoyment out of it. “I’m not kidding.”

“Oh, I know. Heck, I might even give it a go,” I said, feeling the familiar warmth of anger spread over my skin. I felt a gentle squeeze on my hand, and I looked over at Rome, who was giving me a sympathetic look. “What?”

“Jules, I know you. You don’t hold grudges, and I know you love Jeremy as a brother. You’re not just going to abandon him, because we all know he doesn’t have anyone. Right now it may seem that you couldn’t care less even if he got ran over by a train, but later on, you will. So if you don’t want me to hit him again, tell me. And I’m going to tell you to not be so hard on him. Because you’ll regret it later on.” Rome smiled warmly at me, and pulled me slightly closer to him. “You’re just too good of a person.”

“Gee, thanks, Rome,” I said facetiously, rolling my eyes. But really, I was surprised that Rome would tell me to go easy on Jeremy, considering how much he hated him. If he could have it his way, Rome would probably make it to where Jeremy and I would never see each other again. But Rome cared enough about me to put himself aside and think about my feelings. And quite frankly, I was so touched that I could’ve cried. Or vomited. I couldn’t decide.

“I’m serious, Jules. I can’t blame him for kissing you. Who wouldn’t want to kiss you?” Rome said, watching me smugly as my cheeks began to blaze with humiliation.

“Look, if you’re cracking Julie-can’t-kiss jokes at me again, I don’t wanna hear—”

“I’m not, Julie. I swear. All honesty,” Rome promised me, raising up his free hand for reassurance. I narrowed my eyes at his hand that was suspended in the air, then slid my eyes over to Rome.

“That’s your left hand, you dumb,” I said in a ‘duh’ voice, watching as Rome rolled his eyes at my childish ways.

“My right hand it too busy holding your left hand. So I don’t wanna hear it, smartass,” Rome said. I allowed my mouth to drop open in mock-shock and widened my eyes, pretending to be appalled.

“Nuh uh uh, Rome. You can’t curse. You’re too pretty to curse,” I teased, laughing at Rome’s exasperated expression. Then a thought hit me, having to deal with the newfound ease in which Rome and I discussed kissing. I remembered that not so long ago, Rome and I were sitting outside my house in the driveway, and I yelled at him for not kissing me. And when we made up, Rome couldn’t even address that kissing was the cause of our arguing.

“Hey…” I felt a gentle tugging on my hand that resulted in knocking me out of my thoughts. “What are you thinking about?” Rome asked softly, and I looked up at him for a few silent moments. Looking towards the sky and putting a secretive smile on my face, I shrugged, pretending that my thoughts were a classified subject matter. “Tell me…,” Rome moaned, dragging out his words in a desperate tone. “I can never tell what you’re thinking,” He complained, causing my mouth to drop open, and my face to take on a disbelieving expression.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I replied in a low tone, making Rome’s eyebrows quirk. “You always know what I’m thinking. And it pisses—” I cut myself off after a warning look from Rome. “—excuse me, ticks me the poop off that you can read me like a mother effing book.” When I finished, Rome was trying and failing to stifle his laugh. “What now?” I groaned, rolling my eyes.

“Nothing. I just liked your insertions is all,” Rome answered, looking thoroughly amused. I sighed, feeling defeated. Apparently, I had a knack for entertaining Rome, even when I didn’t mean to. “’Ticked you the poop off,” He muttered, still chuckling. I felt a grin tug up the corners of my mouth, and I couldn’t hold my frown any longer. It was kinda funny.

At this point, we were approaching my house, at a too-quick pace. I swallowed hard upon seeing it in my view, and after only a few moments of thinking about everything, the frown was back.

“Julie, everything’s going to be okay. In the end, it will be,” Rome said in a reassuring tone, and I wanted more than anything to believe him. When I looked over into his eyes, all I saw was pleading. He wanted me to be happy. That’s all he wanted. “Please get that look off your face, Jules…,” He whispered, pulling me closer to his body again. “Please,” Rome stressed, squeezing my hand.

“What look?” I questioned after a second of silence. Rome’s eyebrows slanted, and a look of concern spread over his smooth features.

“That one,” Rome said, brining up his other hand to poke my cheek. This managed to get a laugh out of me, but I still smacked away his hand. “Nope, it’s still there.” Rome poked my forehead this time, and I shoved his hand away from the proximity of my face. “I still see it, Julie.” Rome’s hand poked my nose, and I groaned, removing my interlaced fingers from his to use both hands to shove him away. But I was laughing.

Rome, from his new position in the street, walked back up over the curb and gently bumped my side with his playfully. We began walking again, and finally, arrived in front of the house, Jeremy’s car still present in the driveway.

“Like I said, everything will be fine,” Rome said, obviously sensing my thoughts.

“See? You just knew what I was thinking,” I pointed out, biting my lower lip to keep from laughing at Rome’s expression. “Come on, let’s do this,” I said, taking a firm hold of Rome’s hand. The security his presence provided was probably one he’d never know. And one I’d never admit.

Upon entering the house, I heard no sounds. Assuming the worst, I froze in front of the door, ending with Rome having to pull me the rest of the way inside and drag me towards the living room. I heard low voices coming from the kitchen, and Rome obviously did as well, for he began leading us in that direction.

The first thing I saw was Jeremy, who was sitting on the counter with an icepack over his nose. He was wincing in pain, and that look only worsened when he saw Rome and me. Then he saw our hands intertwined. His eyebrows scrunched together, and to avoid his gaze, I looked over and saw Maggie, rifling through our medicine cabinet.

“Don’t give him Advil or aspirin, Mags,” I said, making her jump and turn towards Rome and me. Immediately, like Jeremy, her eyes trailed down to our locked hands.

“And why not? I’ve got a splitting headache that—,” Jeremy began in a nasally voice, but I cut him off.

“If you want the technical explanation, then it’s because those are non-steroidal, and anti-inflammatory drugs that are to be avoided with a broken nose. Those cause your blood to become thin, which makes the flow increase. You should only take acetaminophens. You can have Tylenol, so chillax,” I said, narrowing my eyes. I knew I was being a smartass, but that was considered merciful bearing in mind of what I should’ve been doing to him.

“Oh…,” Jeremy stated lamely, his nasally tone sparking up amusement. No doubt that his nose would swell, and he’d gather attention wherever he went. The kind of attention that involved being ridiculed.

Heck, Jeremy deserved that, too.

“Here’s Tylenol, Jeremy,” Maggie said after rifling through the cabinet a few more moments, walking towards Jeremy with a white bottle in her grasp. Rome and I watched in awkward silence as Maggie opened the bottle, pouring out some pills into her hand. “Here, I’ll get you some water.” I looked away from Maggie babying that asshole, and towards Rome. He responded by looking at me as well, then smiled at me and squeezed my hand reassuringly.

That was all the support I needed.

“Jeremy, we need to talk,” I said firmly, looking back towards Jeremy. He looked at me as Maggie handed him a glass of water, and continued to stare back at me while downing his pills. As if he was challenging me. As if he had a right. If anything Jeremy should’ve been on his knees, begging me to forgive him for the prick-like stunt he pulled.

“Okay,” Jeremy said calmly after finishing his pills, and he hopped off the counter. His nonchalance sickened me, and I felt my eyes narrow in abhorrence towards him. As Jeremy adjusted the icepack on his face, Rome gently tugged on my arm. I looked over at him, but Rome only looked at me, eyebrows slightly raised, as though trying to send me a message.

Oh. He didn’t want me to be hard on Jeremy. Not too hard anyway.

“Should we go somewhere else or…,” Jeremy trailed off, looking pointedly over at Rome. A blind man could see the daggers Jeremy was shooting at Rome through his glare.

“Ohhh no. I don’t think so. Rome will be with me while we talk.” I paused, grinding my teeth together in anger. “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me,” I quoted, watching as Jeremy pursed his lips in thought. I glanced over at Maggie, to find her staring at our exchange. She shook her head a little at me, then looked towards Jeremy with a roll of her eyes.

Jeremy must’ve told her.

And hopefully she knocked some sense into him, if Rome didn’t the point across explicitly enough as it was.

I turned around, beginning to guide us all to the living room. Flashes of Jeremy’s lips advancing on my own caused me to grimace. I made sure to sit on the other couch. The one that Jeremy didn’t molest me on. Rome and I lowered ourselves onto the cushions, and for a second, Jeremy just hovered over us, glancing between me, Rome, and then our linked hands. Finally, after failing to get any sort of response out of us, he acquiesced and sat down on my other side.

“I’m not going to apologize. Don’t get all upset, but I don’t regret it, Jules.”

I rolled my lips into a thin line and shook my head once. Laughing humorlessly — not to mention disbelievingly — I looked up towards the ceiling, unable to continue looking at Jeremy.

“Ahh… what was I thinking?” I asked rhetorically, chuckling coldly without the slightest trace of true laughter in my voice. “That you’d apologize to me, for kissing me against my will, for ruining our relationship, for exhibiting the behavior of an award winning asshole… shall I go on?” I practically spat, seething in my seat. My grip on Rome’s hand, I’d noticed had grown considerably tighter.

“Look, I can’t help how I feel about you. Obviously you don’t feel the same…” Jeremy looked down at mine and Rome’s hands again, one of the saddest expressions I’d ever seen on him covering his features. “But whatever, right? You can yell at me, and hurt me even more than you’ve already done, and make me feel bad for just trying. You know what? Fine. I’m sorry for kissing you, and for loving you way more than Rome ever could. I’m sorry I didn’t want to give you up so easily and leave you to be with him. I’m sorry, okay? Christ. I’m sorry.” With that, Jeremy abruptly stood and began stomping to the front of the house.

I felt nausea sweep over me in waves as I sat, staring at where I last saw Jeremy, with heaving tears building up in my eyes.

“Am I really as big of a jerk as Jeremy made me sound and feel just now?” I asked meekly, looking over at Rome. When he saw my tears, he wrapped me in his arms. This only proceeded to make my tears fall, and a sob erupted from my lips that was built up in my chest. Rome held me tightly to his chest, stroking my hair, but otherwise letting me cry.

I knew that I should’ve put myself in Jeremy’s shoes before opening my big mouth. Before I started being rude and judgmental. If he really loved me like he said, then of course he wouldn’t give up. Of course he’d try and kiss me, just to see. Not that I knew much about love, but I knew enough.

“I’m going to stop Jeremy before he leaves, okay?” Rome said, pulling back from my clinging arms so he could look at me for conformation. He pushed back some hair that was sticking to my forehead to my cheeks from my tears. “I’ll be right back, okay?” I sniffed, but nodded with the energy that hadn’t depleted already. Rome carefully kissed me on the forehead, as though too much pressure would break me in two, then he jumped off the couch and started running in the direction Jeremy went.

Rome’s lips had left a tingling feeling on the skin of my forehead, so I brought my fingers up to touch it gingerly. It didn’t feel any different. Wiping more tears from my face, I tried to control myself and my emotions. Jeremy and I were both at fault. We could’ve dealt with everything a lot more maturely, to where no one would get hurt. Why did it have to happen on Christmas, though, of all days?

Dwelling on my thoughts, I tried to stop crying and clear my mind as I waited for Rome.

What had I done?