Rome and Julie

I sat in my room alone, feeling exactly that. Even though Maggie was just down the hall, and Robert was sitting two rooms away, I felt completely isolated from the world. And I hated it. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was before. Before Jeremy admitted his feelings, before Maggie sat me down while Rome was talking to Jeremy outside and basically told me that I was in love with Rome, before Rome kissed me…

Okay, so maybe not before Rome kissed me. That, I had to admit to my prideful heart, would be one thing I’d definitely miss if it were taken from me.

Rome had left five minutes prior to my feelings of extreme isolation, but I didn’t want to connect those two things together. He said he needed to pack for our small trip, but only after he asked me if I still wanted to go. I thought that a silly thing to inquire. And I’d told him that, which gave him a good laugh. And in turn, I got to laugh at the fact that I still had the ability to make the great Rome Madden chuckle.

I admit, I felt bad for leaving Maggie and Robert, but she told me that if anything, it was a chance for her and Robert to get in some quality time together. Thinking about those two, being in love, and holding on to whatever they had left… that kept me hoping for a better horizon.

I laid, sprawled on my bed in a position that I happened to fall to when I threw myself onto the mattress. Trying to focus on happy thoughts before all the bad ones caught up, I remembered just earlier, when Rome and I were at the park. How carefree he was. And laid back. Seeing him so happy made me feel warm inside. And as odd as the feeling was… it was nice.

When Maggie sat me down earlier after Rome left to stop Jeremy, she told me her view on things. How she thought that Rome and I were in love, and we were either too stupid or too proud to acknowledge or admit it. Safe to say all words fell dry in my throat, and I couldn’t, for the life of me, project any sort of reply to her claims. So I sat silently, gaping at her as she continued on. I was shocked. Overwhelmed. Exhausted.

I didn’t need to think about love. Love was overrated. Time consuming. It made you vulnerable. Vulnerability I couldn’t afford to have. That I didn’t want to have. Hence my avoidance on the subject, and my undying abhorrence towards Romeo and Juliet.

I tore my gaze from the ceiling, sliding my eyes over to my nightstand, where I saw the book.

“Speaking of the devil…,” I muttered, leaning over to reach for the book. I was barely able to grab it in my stretched position, so once it was in my grip, I sprung back into a comfortable position and exhaled with effort. I brought the book close to my face and studied the cover, eyes trailing over the title. Romeo and Juliet. “Here, let me fall in love real quick, and kill myself over someone I don’t even know…,” I mumbled in a mocking tone, rolling my eyes. “What the hell, Shakespeare? Just… what the hell.”

Before I could even try and stop myself, my fingers had pried open the book and I delved into the world of Romeo and Juliet. Once again.

**************************************************************

“Julie? Jules, come on.” I awoke to a light shaking at my shoulders. I grumbled a bit, wondering how I’d managed to fall asleep, and shifted my position slightly. I heard a raspy laugh, and finally, I realized someone was waking me up.

“Robert?” I groaned, peeling my eyes open. I ignored the crusty feel the corner of my eyes had, and instead focused on Robert, who was not only up out of his bed, but in my room.

“You wanted to go do something today?” Robert asked, looking down at me. I cocked my head to the side, letting the side effects of waking up pass so I could think clearly. Who am I? What am I doing? What is my purpose in life? I gave myself a mental eye roll.

“Um… yeah. You up for it?” I asked, grinning tiredly.

“I know I’m up for it. You’re the one who seems to be less-than-ready for it,” Robert pointed out, smiling. I chuckled softly and inhaled deeply, before sitting up. I ran a hand through my hair, and glanced at the time. 1:14.

“I should probably get up then.” Sighing, I rubbed a hand down my face. “Is Rome gonna tag along on our little outing?” I questioned, beginning to push my comforter away from my body. I briefly wondered how it had gotten over me, because I knew I’d fallen asleep while reading Romeo and Juliet.

“Sure is. He’s already here, in the living room,” Robert replied, his expression turning into one of the all-knowing. “What’s the deal with you two?” I immediately ducked my head and used my hair as a shield to hide my fast approaching blush. “Ahh, I see. Young love at its finest, I suppose,” Robert said with a shrug.

“Robert!” I exclaimed, unable to hide the smile on my lips. We both laughed, and I managed to roll my eyes and get off the bed. “Don’t say a word on that subject around Rome,” I warned, pointing my finger accusingly at him. He looked facetiously offended.

“Who, me? Jules, I’m surprised you’d even think that of me,” Robert said, his voice getting hoarse at the end. He coughed a few times, and my playful expression dropped in the blink of an eye.

“You okay?” I asked, holding back the sudden tears that sprung to my eyes and the urge to sprint to my desk to grab my cell phone and call 911. Swallowing roughly, I felt my body tense up, and I watched Robert with a wary eye. He finished his coughing fit and actually mustered up a smile towards me.

“Of course. I’ll let you get ready, if you want,” Robert said, his less-than-sociable disposition returning. Confused, I scrunched my eyebrows, and tilted my head. “See ya, sweetheart.” Robert leaned in and kissed the top of my head, before turning slowly and exiting my room.

The tear that dropped from my eye was inevitable. And I had to do some serious tongue biting to prevent any more tears from escaping the clutches of my tear ducts.

I decided to change out of my jeans and plaid shirt, feeling like I’d worn them a century instead of a few hours. I put on black leggings, then a pair of baggy gray sweats. For my upper body, I decided a tank top and a baggy sweatshirt would do fine. It was uncharacteristically hot in my room, anyhow, so I didn’t quite feel up to putting on ten layers. After slipped on a pair of multicolored fuzzy socks, I put on my combat boots, laced them up, and felt ready to go.

“Ready for combat?” Rome teased upon my entrance in the living room, as he usually did whenever my combat boots were a piece of my outfit. I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him childishly, crossing my arms over my chest.

“So where exactly are we venturing on this fine afternoon?” I inquired, moving to the couch to take a seat. My head felt lighter than usual, and standing up wasn’t exactly helping. Maggie and Robert stood idly towards the kitchen, and neither they nor Rome answered my question. “I suggest ice skating, because what else is better than ice skating on Christmas, huh?” I questioned with a grin, watching in amusement when Rome’s shoulders sagged a little at my suggestion.

“So many things…,” Rome muttered under his breath, so soft that I almost missed it entirely. I, however, chose to ignore it.

“So ice skating it is, then? Good. Let’s go,” I said, getting off the couch. Maggie and Robert smiled at my antics, but acquiesced. Rome, on the other hand, couldn’t be convinced that easily.

“Ice skating, Julie? Come on.” His complaints fell to deaf ears, for I wouldn’t be deterred. I wanted to ice skate. Recalling the last time we all went out to ice skate brought a full-fledged smile on my face. This would be extreme fun. “You’ll regret this,” Rome threatened, trying to sound intimidating.

“Will I?” I played along, feeling slightly slaphappy.

“Don’t play that game with me. Where you always answer me in the question form of what I just said. I hate that,” Rome said, following Maggie and Robert towards the front door. I stopped to grab my winter coat from the closet before exiting the house.

“Do you?”

Rome’s agitated groan was enough to make me do cartwheels all the way to the car. The diagnosis was definitely slaphappy.

“Don’t make a habit out of this, Julie,” Rome said, staying by my side as we made our way to the car. I opened my mouth to retort, but came up short. “Look at that. Can’t come up with an annoying response to that, can you?”

“I have AIDS.”

The silence that ensued my oh-so-intelligent comment was an awkward one. Rome stopped walking, and for some reason, I did too. He stared at me like he truly thought I was mentally ill. Hell, at this point, I could’ve been.

“I’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that, and I’m not going to wonder why you’d blurt that out.” I stifled my laugh, and honestly felt sympathy for Rome. I was abnormal, and the poor thing probably didn’t know what to do with me. Oh wait. He was marrying me. Right.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t like psycho-Julie. She’s a grand ole gal once you get to know her,” I said, grinning up cheekily at Rome when he glanced down at me worriedly. Quickly, I transformed my face into one of pure despair. “Shit. I forgot to call Mothership and let them know that we’re not evacuating our bodies Tuesday, but Wednesday,” I exclaimed, trying to look seriously distressed. Another crazy look from Rome, however, had me laughing so hard that I was doubled over, clutching my abdomen.

“I really think you have issues, Jules. Honest to God.” Rome had finally started to smile though, which was my intention. With my mission accomplished, we all piled into the car, with Maggie as the driver, Robert passenger, and Rome and I stuffed into the backseat. Quite frankly, I fit just fine, but Rome, with his tall, built physique… it was like shoving the wrong puzzle piece in the incorrect place.

****************************************************

“Is this what I get for suggesting ice skating? Is this my punishment?” I half-said half-groaned, stretching out my back with a wince. Rome shrugged, a grin spread over his lips. “I mean, you made that the worst possible scenario for me.” This time Rome laughed, but I couldn’t even find the energy to hit him. My body felt like it was bent in the absolute wrong way. Probably because it was.

On the thirty minute ride to the outside skating rink the town over had, Rome had taken it upon himself to be as comfortable as possible. Which meant taking up 7/8 of the whole backseat. His back was pressed into me, and his legs were extended to their limits in the rest of the car. Safe to say that I had no room.

“Awww, Julie, stop your complaining. We all can’t be miniature and travel sized like you,” Rome said, putting his hand on the top of my head to ruffle my hair. I pushed his hands away, feeling violated and insulted. “Don’t pout Julie. Don’t ruin this time we all have together.” I rolled my eyes, knowing he had a point. We were walking towards the booth where you pay to rent skates, and as we walked, I observed the skaters already going at it. Most were at the moderate level, being able to hold themselves up and balance quite well. A few scattered on the ice were having more difficulty, losing their balance, and threatening to topple over at any moment.

A soft laugh escaped my lips as I saw one guy completely fall over and crash to the ground, bringing his girlfriend with him. Their linked hands never broke, however. They erupted into fits of laughter for a moment, and the girl picked herself up to help her boyfriend. After a moment of struggle, both were skating again, hand in hand.

Something collided harshly with the side of my face, and with a wince, I stepped back. Rome looked over his shoulder at me with an amused smile.

“We stopped,” He teased, pointing something out that I now obviously knew. I ignored him and brought my hand up to rub my forehead. Its collision with Rome’s back had fabricated a slight headache in my temples. We had stopped, though, Rome true to his word. We were waiting in the line, which wasn’t too long. Maggie and Robert were talking in hushed voices in front of us, and I narrowed my eyes in their direction. Their topic of conversation had better not have anything to do with Rome and myself. “They’re talking about us,” Rome mumbled as though reading my mind, turning around to face me.

“What are they saying?” I inquired, looking up at him expectantly. He stared at me for a while, one side of his mouth turning upwards into a small smile. “Well…?” I questioned anxiously.

“Nothing.” Rome shook his head and looked towards the rink. I bugged my eyes disbelievingly at him, and slapped his arm. “Hey!” Rome exclaimed, turning back towards me while cradling his upper arm. I rolled my eyes.

“Oh please. That didn’t hurt.” I waited a beat, glancing around Rome’s person at my aunt and uncle before lowering my voice. “What are they saying?” I repeated, grabbing his jacket roughly. He stared down at me, eyebrows raised.

“Pushy, are we?” He was closer than I’d originally observed, for his warm breath fanned over my face and reminded me of how cold it was outside. I opened my mouth to retort back a forceful reply, but the feeling of Rome’s arms wrapping around my waist had me taking on the appearance of a goldfish. No words could escape from my mouth, so it settled on gaping open in a very ladylike manner. “You’re so small…,” Rome mused, testing just how far his arms could wrap around me. When I was against his chest, we both discovered they easily fit all the way, and then some.

“What are you…,” I tried, failing completely. Rome’s smirk was unmistakable. I couldn’t figure out why my brain was refusing to work, or why it wasn’t getting the signal to my heart to pump blood to the rest of my body. My limbs were numb. Why did Rome have that effect on me?

“What am I what, Julie?” Rome asked, raising one eyebrow in question. I swallowed nervously, wondering why he was doing this now, of all times, in front of everyone, including Maggie and Robert, and why the hell I couldn’t just push away like a normal person. I scrunched my eyebrows, forcing my gaze away from Rome’s piercing hot eyes, which were boring into me, even after I looked away. “Look at me, Jules.” I gulped at his sudden command, but managed to get the courage to shake my head vehemently. “Why not?”

“Why are you doing this?” I returned, keeping my gaze locked on the skaters. I could feel his forearm flex against me, as though he was frustrated. The sigh that I heard only further proved my theory. I realized that I was playing hard to get in a way, but I couldn’t just randomly be open with my feelings like Rome seemed to suddenly be an expert at. “I’m sorry…,” I muttered, looking back over into Rome’s face. “I don’t mean to be this way; it’s just an automatic reaction—”

“Rome, Julie, will you or will you not be joining us?” I heard Maggie’s voice interrupt me, and immediately, Rome and I pulled away from each other. We looked at Maggie, who had a knowing smirk on her face that caused my cheeks to heat up. Wordlessly, we began following Maggie and Robert, who had moved up considerably with the line. I kept my head ducked and hidden from Rome, afraid that I’d upset him. With my knack to make him laugh also came the gift to upset him. Everything evens out that way.

I nearly tripped over my feet when I felt Rome’s hand slip into my own, and he gave it a reassuring squeeze, as though he were reading my worried thoughts. The warmth of his hand immediately heated up my own freezing hand, and I took in a deep breath, trying to get used to those kinds of things. We were getting married, for crying out loud. Holding hands? No big deal. No big deal…

“Um… we’re renting four pairs of skates. For us, it’ll be a size eight and eleven,” Maggie’s voice knocked me out of whatever drug-induced planet I’d been on, and I vaguely watched her as she paid. As the blonde woman behind the counter turned to go find Maggie and Robert’s skates, the latter moved aside so Rome and I could give our sizes.

“I’m a size… five, I guess,” I said when the lady returned, knowing that a size five was pushing it. It probably would be slightly loose on my feet, but at least I was a decent skater. The lady nodded once to me, handing Maggie and Robert their skates. Her eyes turned towards Rome, and I watched as the words ‘OH EM GEE, you’re gorgeous!’ wanted to spill from her over-glossed lips. Her face gave it all away, and I immediately rolled my eyes. Rome glanced at me with a crooked grin, obviously the whole ordeal not going unnoticed.

“Size thirteen, please,” Rome said, giving the lady behind the counter a suave smile. When she finished blushing, she turned to get our skates. When Rome looked at me, I pretended to gag silently. He snickered as softly as he could manage. Skates in hand, she returned, and we took them without a second or lingering glance.

“You’re such a man whore, Rome.” I ignored the appalled look I received from Rome after my accusation, continuing to focus on the rink as we followed Maggie and Robert to an open bench to put on our skates. He rolled his eyes when he realized I was only pulling his leg, and silently, we took an empty spot on the bench and slipped on our ice skates. I saw Maggie and Robert doing the same nearby.

“Admit it, Julie. You think I’m charming,” Rome said, standing up slowly as he finished lacing up his skates. I rolled my eyes and tied my last knot tightly, then looked up at Rome. He was trying to gain his balance, and failing. I felt myself begin to smile, knowing the rest of the day was a good one to come. “See? Even when I look like a fool, you can’t pretend to not be charmed.” At this, he almost fell forwards into me, and instinctively, I ducked my head and used my arms as a shield. Luckily, Rome managed to catch himself on the bench.

“Oh yes, the way you almost pummel me to the ground is such a turn on,” I quipped sarcastically, removing my arms from my face. Rome’s amused face was close, as he was still bent over using the bench for balance. I raised my eyebrow and cocked my head to the left. “Care to give a girl some space?” With a roll of his chocolate eyes, he pushed himself back up to stand erect.

“You guys coming?” Maggie’s voice carried over to Rome and me, and I immediately looked over to her. She and Robert were standing by the entrance to the rink, and I stood up. Before I could say whale blubber, Rome had laced his fingers through my own, as though it were a completely normal thing for him to do. In mere seconds, his grip tightened uncomfortably as he used our linked hands for balance. He threatened to topple over, and I had to stifle my laugh as I let him use my shoulder to steady himself.

“Don’t laugh,” Rome warned, sounding annoyed. Deciding that the only thing it would do would be wounding Rome’s pride, I let out a bout of laughter, throwing my head back. In seconds, however, my laughter died in my throat as I struggled to keep both mine and Rome’s bodies not sprawled on the ground.

“Rome! Christ, you’re not seriously this bad, are you? Tell me this is a joke,” I muttered, groaning with effort when I had to pull Rome’s arm as he stumbled forward. “Rome!” I cried, appalled at his total and complete lack of skill. He was sure he’d gotten considerably worse since the last time we’d ice skated.

“This isn’t a joke, Julie. And stop complaining. You drug us all here.” Rome actually almost sounded pissed off. It made sense, however. Rome Madden wasn’t a man that enjoyed looking like a fool. And he most definitely did at that moment in time.

“I’m sorry!” I said through a laugh, feeling giddy despite Rome’s distress. Vulnerable Rome was fun to watch, as much as it sounded like bullying. “I really am sorry. But this is absolutely beautiful,” I commented, laughing again when Rome slid a snarky look in my direction. I opted to ignore the look however, for we arrived upon the entrance to the actual rink. I knew in my heart, however, that getting us both onto the ice without toppling over had a slim chance of happening.

I watched as Maggie and Robert carefully and skillfully stepped onto the ice, and began to skate with the flow of the crowds of people flying past us. I snuck at glance at Rome, whose jaw was set and dark eyebrows furrowed. Suppressing the grin that threatened to find its way onto my face and make Rome even more pissed, I tugged gently on his arm, and he looked in my direction.

“You ready for this?” I questioned, feeling my composure cracking as Rome narrowed his eyes even more. Of course he wasn’t ready. I’d forced him to do this. “Okay. Looks like a ‘hell yes’ to me!” I said, taking my first step down onto the ice. Another foot down, and then I looked over to Rome to begin to help him onto the ice. I grasped his hand in my own tightly and squeezed, letting him know I was there for him. “Look, don’t look so angry. If you fall, I’m falling with you, alright?”

Finally, for what seemed like the first time in years, I saw Rome smile down at me, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. I grinned back at him, glad I could put somewhat of a suppressor on Rome’s pissy mood. Rome carefully started to step down, his hand gripping my own tightly. And somehow, by the means of God, perhaps, we got Rome down onto the ice safely. Trying not to focus on how big I was grinning, I looked around to check for oncoming skaters to make sure no one would collide with us as we moved to the main skating area.

We had moved about two steps forward when I felt Rome shake violently beside me, and begin to fall towards the ice. I braced myself for the hard ice to collide with my body, and I felt myself land on Rome’s arm. The impact wasn’t as harsh as I’d anticipated, and I heard laughter pass through my lips. I looked over to Rome and found him doing the same. Filled with relief, I gathered my bearings and grasped Rome’s hand again, turning towards Rome again.

“See? That wasn’t so bad,” I commented smugly, watching with amusement when Rome rolled his eyes in annoyance. He heaved himself upwards to a sitting position, briefly glancing down at our intertwined hands before I saw him try and hide a smile.

“Shut up and get up.”

For the next hour or so, we skated on, and it turned out that the first fall was only one of many. Eventually Rome got tired of skating – to the point that I couldn’t ignore his complaints any longer – and we took a break. Maggie and Robert had taken breaks every fifteen minutes or so, but as Rome and I came off the rink, I glanced back to find them skating on. They were holding hands, and Maggie was talking with animated expressions. Robert was skating slowly with her, listening to every word she was saying with a smile on his face. The urge to cry was inevitable, but I managed to choke down any sadness. Today was a fun day. And it was time to man up.

Rome and I ended sitting behind one of the skate rental shops on a bench, waiting for Maggie and Robert to finish up. Rome had refused to go out and skate again, and my sore butt and I couldn’t exactly put up a good enough fight. There was a silence over us that I couldn’t find the energy to break. Luckily, however, Rome was strong enough to speak.

“I hope you’ve had fun today,” Rome commented dryly, leaning his head back against the building behind us. I sniffed, pretending to be hurt by his rude tone. I heard him chuckle softly, and then reach over to lace his fingers through mine. “Hey, seriously, I hope you’ve had fun,” Rome said gently, squeezing my hand. I looked over and smiled at him, and then, unable to control myself, leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek.

I tried not to chastise myself too much afterwards, for Rome’s 100 watt smile was enough to make me think that I was at least doing something right. It truly was unfortunate that Rome seemed to know so much more about… being affectionate than me, and made me even more subconscious with myself than I already was. I knew I didn’t have a choice but to just deal with it, though.

“As long as you’ve had at least a little fun, then I’ve had a freaking blast,” I answered after a pause, squeezing Rome’s hand back. He laughed and scratched the back of his head with his free hand.

“Well, I mean, it’s been… less sucky than usual.” I rolled my eyes, and pushed my shoulder harshly into his. “Hey! I’m just being honest.” I pushed him again; this time disconnected our hands so I could use both of mine. He had to use his arm to gain his balance, and he stared at me, open mouthed.

“Well aren’t you just so noble?”

Shortly after, Maggie and Robert joined Rome and me and told us that that it was time to call it a day. Rome literally couldn’t have jumped up ready to leave any quicker. But I had seen him laugh and smile. I knew he was making out worse than it actually was.

On the way to the car wave of nausea hit me, and a splitting pain began in my temples. I grabbed Rome’s hand and squeezed my eyes shut, letting him guide us back to the car so I could focus on lessening my newly developed migraine. I was getting sick. Again. And suddenly, I remembered the warning signs I’d gotten earlier that day, with the heat waves turning into cold chills, and the light headedness.

Shit.

I knew I couldn’t let Rome find out, otherwise he wouldn’t let us go on our trip, and I couldn’t get him his birthday present for his birthday which was tomorrow.

Shit shit shit.

I opened my eyes and thought of everything else other than the piercing inside of my skull. I squeezed Rome’s hand a little too hard, for he looked over at me as though I’d prompted for his attention. I look at him awkwardly, sniffed, then bared my teeth at him. His upper lip curled up in disgust, and he turned from me, although he didn’t let go of my hand.

There was something completely and totally fulfilling about holding Rome’s hand, especially in public. It was unifying. Also terrifying, but if it wasn’t totally risqué, then where would the fun be? I liked showing off Rome. Because when we passed girls that stared just that little bit too long to be normal at Rome, their gazes would eventually fall to our interlocked fingers and they’d move on. And I was left feeling proud, and whole, and really, just happy.

I really hoped I wasn’t as stupid as I sounded.