To Be Strong With You

How long had it been?

Probably about a year now.

I guess,your probably wondering what I'm talking about right?Well I've been in a hospital for about a year now. I have a depression problem. They tried to get me to talk to someone or take some pills,but I never did any of it.

These bastards think it's so easy. They didn't have to go through all of what I did.

Of coarse the only reason I was depressed was,because of my poor excuse of a father. He abused me almost every day of my life. For what reason?I still don't know until this day.

This kept going on and on and I stayed distance from everyone showing no lack of interest in anything. Just staying in my room writing. That was the only thing that kept me sane was writing what I felt on paper.

The only reason I'm at this damn hospital is,because one day I tried committing suicide. Yes,it's true. I thought death would be much easier then living,because my father had punched me in the face that day.

Then,my brother found out about this and is trying to get me help,but I won't listen. None of them understand. Who could?My mother doesn't come to see me. She is obviously ashamed of me. My brother still loves me though. And for that I am thankful.

“Beth...”I heard my nickname called. My real name was Bethany.

I looked over to find my brother Ashton in the room looking at me intesely. He rarely smiles around me,but I could understand why.

“Hey...”I murmured.

He sat down next to me on the edge of the bed.

“We have a new doctor coming today...he's going to-uh-help you out.”Ashton said.

I didn't reply,but I was aggravated. I didn't need another doctor to try and help me out when it was going to make a difference.

He sighed and walked out of the room probably going to see if the new doctor had arrived. I slumped on my pillow and took out my laptop beginning to write.

Journal Entry 6/8/10

One of the most darkest truths was held inside me. It made me wonder why I had so much fear stuck in my heart. I had been through so much and ended up still in sadness. I could only think of what life could be. Sometimes I feel as if I'm stuck in a fantasy world,or at least trying to imagine it. The only happiness I had was in my dreams only some of them though. I can't even remember the last time I was happy,and sadly I doubt it will happen anytime soon.
~Beth