Status: Would you take a bullet for Sirus?
Lockdown
Sirus's Night
“Ace…” Sirus was asleep but she was muttering ‘Ace’. Maybe a call for help—or just to feel some comfort. I was there when she woke up. Panic lied in her widened eyes.
“Don’t think about it Sirus.” I muttered in her ear. “Don’t think about the nightmare.” But I knew she’d tell me about it, she always did.
“Aaron was there. Aaron was holding me. And Ace…My Ace was in someone else’s arms…she was happy and I was crying. Ace looked at me and said ‘you were just a fling’ Aaron grabbed a knife, killed me, and then Ace. Then whoever the fuck Ace was with and then I think herself and the whole time I wanted Ace there to comfort me and she was with some other fucking bitch.” She paused looking at the clock that read 2:00 AM, “I’ll be back.” She took off and out of obligation I followed.
“Turn around.” She shook her head and kept running. She was fast, faster than anyone I had seen, “SIRUS!” The car almost hit her but she didn’t stop, dressed in all balck running down her road. I didn’t know where she was but she knew where she stopped.
“ACE!” She screamed sitting on the ground of the parking lot of their park. Their first almost kiss. Sirus let the tears fall down from her eyes not bothering to stop them.
“If there was a way to get her here I would in a heartbeat.”
She nodded and looked at her phone: 3:45. She had to get home. So she ran again. She saw the cops, she heard the sirens as the lights fell on her and she ran faster, they wouldn’t stop her. Dodging into houses and finally disappearing. She was breaking curfew but she didn’t care.
“Shit!” She muttered as she saw the lights turn on. Her mom, Christina Lynn Golden was up. She ran around the house to her window and climbed through hoping her mom wouldn’t hear her. As far as Christina knew Sirus was asleep. She lay on her bed by me, still unable to stop her tears. ‘I’ll see her soon,’ was all she could think. She didn’t sleep that night, as I’m sure Ace didn’t either.
She “woke up” and put on her eyeliner. The only thing hiding her tears. It was thick enough to make it look like she had slept perfectly fine. Seeing Ace’s eyes killed Sirus. Dull—hung-over—dead.
“Don’t you’ll get yourself in more trouble.”
“I don’t care.”
“Sirus.”
“What?”
“Don’t go to her. You will be okay.” I knew she wanted to comfort ace more than anything but she couldn’t.
“Sirus.” America wrapped her arms around a very distant Sirus. She was shut down. She wasn’t her, “Here” America backed off handing Sirus the note from Ace.
“It’ll be okay Sisi.” Sirus looked up at America.
“Sisi died.” And with that she walked into the bathroom.
“WHY!” She screamed, “Why can’t I just be with her.”
“Because they say.”
“Fuck them.” She was crying, sitting against the wall. I longed for Ace to walk in and see her like this. Ace could make it better, even if for a minute. But Ace never walked in. Sirus went back to class clutching the unread note. The teachers sensed something was wrong but none of them bothered to ask, nor make her remove her hood. They just ignored her, which for everyone’s sake, was probably the best thing. She grabbed her binder and unfolded the piece of paper.
"My Princess,
IDK what to say anymore. I can tell you one thing no matter what I will never ever give up nor will I leave. I can’t…I’m…I’m too much in love. I can tell you right now the day I turn 18 I will be gone and on the street I could care less about the fuckin cruise or any shit like that. All I want is you. All I want to do is take you and run. Runaway from all the drama and shit. I want to hold you and tell you it will all be okay. That it will all turn out cause I’m not going anywhere no matter what. I’m here. Always and forever. All I want is to kiss your lips and taste that taste I have been craving. Your eyes are full of hate and sadness, sorrow, and pain. I want it all to go away but I just can’t. I’m back on the chains. I just got off but only a matter of days til I can hold my princess and not cry, well maybe tears of joy but whatever.
Love always
Yours only
Never leaving
Acy"
She bit her lip, fighting the tears that wanted to fall. Ace wouldn’t leave but she was being locked away from Sirus.
“I love her.” Sirus muttered.
“I know.”
“I can’t lose her.”
“I know. You won’t.”
“Why are you an optimist? I’m going to lose her even if I fight.”
“And are you going to quit fighting?”
“No.”
“Good.”
“Sirus?” Ally stood in front of Sirus.
“What?” Sirus snapped still looking at the note.
“I’m hyper.”
“Good for you.” She bit her lip harder, “Sorry Ally just not in the best mood.”
“I know.”
“yeah.” The bell rang and Sirus ran out of the room walking the halls waiting to just see Ace’s face. To just see Ace and whisper those three words. Ace passed her and they caught the others gaze. Everything they wanted to say was said in their eyes. ‘I love you’ ‘it’ll be okay’ ‘we’ll make it’ ‘we have to’ ‘parents can’t take me away from you’ they passed with a final glance and a hidden touch. Sirus grabbed Ace’s hand not wanting to let go. I almost cried for those two.
Trying not to cry as Ace walked into the basketball meeting. On separate sides of the room looking at each other not wanting to pay attention to wh
at was actually said.
"I love you." Sirus mouthed gazing into Ace's big brown eyes.
"I love you too." Ace gave a small, but fake smile that Sirus saw through. She wiped the tears from her eyes and never broke the gaze.
Both of them stayed after to "talk to the coaches" Sirus stayed on more of a personal level. The new coach, if she would call him that, was taking her dad's place. Her dad had died just last year. Sirus was still shattered and depressed over it. Her dad had been her best friend and the only one she truly trusted. She knew he wasn't perfect, but she loved him. And he was gone.
"So if I walk out of practice next year, don't take it personal."
The new guy nodded, understanding what she had gone through, why she didn't play last year, "I'll give you time."
Sirus nodded and walked away. Why was it so hard to accept this guy? He hadn't done anything to her. He didn't kill her father, but that was it, He wasn't her father. She knew her dad should be the one coaching. She should be living with her dad, but she wasn't as much as she wished she was, she wasn't. She wasn't doing the things that she knew should be happening but that was life. And life was fucked up.
Ace walked out of the room with a final glance at Sirus. They had the next class together but both of them knew they'd still be apart. The email was circulating around: Annabel and Angel are not allowed to be by each other.
They knew that but knowing those two they'd never listen.
Sirus sat in her class wanting to go to Ace's homeroom but knowing she couldn't. I saw her binder as she wrote a reply:
"My baby,
I trust you when you say you won’t leave. Never have I doubted you on that. Live with Kimie when your eighteen if you have to. You and me will go on our own cruise. Just us, no parents, no drama. The only people we need are each other. I’m yours. God I wanted to hold on to you in the meeting. Seeing you almost cry/cry broke me—cause I want to stop the tears, never let you cry again. Allys sitting here trying to keep me laughing but even with her here it’s not the same. I really want to sprint down the hall way and jump into your arms and kiss you. God I miss how you taste and through all this all I can think of is the YMCA and your smile. My eyes lighten up when I think of that or of just being in your arms. We’ll get through this. I love you.
Only yours
Princess."
"I'm leaving. Jumping off a cliff. I'll run away. I'm ending it." Sirus mumbled the words to her poems softly as she sat not paying attention to the English teacher talking. Mrs. Hutton was dumb. Sirus knew all she needed to, all the writing dictations, rhythm, alliteration. That was common language to Sirus.
"Angel. You need to pay attention." Mrs. Hutton’s voice filled her head, Sirus's eyes darkened.
"It's Sirus. I'm no Angel."
"Angel. Put your pens away and pay attention."
"Yeah sure whatever." Sirus shrugged her off and kept writing. She didn't care anymore. She never did.
“Angel.”
“I get the stuff. K? My god you’d think with my test scores and publishing experience you guys would realize that I know this stuff.”
“Fine then what is alliteration?”
Sirus set her binder down, got up, and glared at Mrs. Hutton, “Alliteration is use of the same consonant at the beginning of each stressed syllable in a line of verse.” She paused, “That’s the dictionary definition.”
“Who wrote Caesar?”
“William Shakespeare.”
“Oh.” Mrs. Hutton looked stumped, how could the girl that never cared know almost everything.
“And if you’re going to ask me another question here’s my answer. I’ll pass your class until either you or me is out of here and I’ll never talk to you after that.”
“Sit down and do your work.”
“Already turned in.”
Sirus sat at the desk and wrote more poems:
“Sacred Silent Suicide
My rules I do abide
Blades and Traces of my blood
Covered in dirt and mud
Sacred Silent Suicide
This is the day I died.”
“I just want out of here
Baby hold me near
They can’t say no
Come on baby let’s go.”
“Don’t promise me forever
Cause forever doesn’t exist.
Promise you’ll love me now
Just go with the twists.”
“Hidden words written on papers
That you’ll never see
I’m writing my life’s story
I’m going to be me”
Her words slightly scared and annoyed me. I knew she wouldn’t kill herself but I couldn’t promise she wouldn’t feel physical pain somehow. She loved that pain. I knew she did. Everyone knew she did. So would she get what she loved?
“Don’t think about it Sirus.” I muttered in her ear. “Don’t think about the nightmare.” But I knew she’d tell me about it, she always did.
“Aaron was there. Aaron was holding me. And Ace…My Ace was in someone else’s arms…she was happy and I was crying. Ace looked at me and said ‘you were just a fling’ Aaron grabbed a knife, killed me, and then Ace. Then whoever the fuck Ace was with and then I think herself and the whole time I wanted Ace there to comfort me and she was with some other fucking bitch.” She paused looking at the clock that read 2:00 AM, “I’ll be back.” She took off and out of obligation I followed.
“Turn around.” She shook her head and kept running. She was fast, faster than anyone I had seen, “SIRUS!” The car almost hit her but she didn’t stop, dressed in all balck running down her road. I didn’t know where she was but she knew where she stopped.
“ACE!” She screamed sitting on the ground of the parking lot of their park. Their first almost kiss. Sirus let the tears fall down from her eyes not bothering to stop them.
“If there was a way to get her here I would in a heartbeat.”
She nodded and looked at her phone: 3:45. She had to get home. So she ran again. She saw the cops, she heard the sirens as the lights fell on her and she ran faster, they wouldn’t stop her. Dodging into houses and finally disappearing. She was breaking curfew but she didn’t care.
“Shit!” She muttered as she saw the lights turn on. Her mom, Christina Lynn Golden was up. She ran around the house to her window and climbed through hoping her mom wouldn’t hear her. As far as Christina knew Sirus was asleep. She lay on her bed by me, still unable to stop her tears. ‘I’ll see her soon,’ was all she could think. She didn’t sleep that night, as I’m sure Ace didn’t either.
She “woke up” and put on her eyeliner. The only thing hiding her tears. It was thick enough to make it look like she had slept perfectly fine. Seeing Ace’s eyes killed Sirus. Dull—hung-over—dead.
“Don’t you’ll get yourself in more trouble.”
“I don’t care.”
“Sirus.”
“What?”
“Don’t go to her. You will be okay.” I knew she wanted to comfort ace more than anything but she couldn’t.
“Sirus.” America wrapped her arms around a very distant Sirus. She was shut down. She wasn’t her, “Here” America backed off handing Sirus the note from Ace.
“It’ll be okay Sisi.” Sirus looked up at America.
“Sisi died.” And with that she walked into the bathroom.
“WHY!” She screamed, “Why can’t I just be with her.”
“Because they say.”
“Fuck them.” She was crying, sitting against the wall. I longed for Ace to walk in and see her like this. Ace could make it better, even if for a minute. But Ace never walked in. Sirus went back to class clutching the unread note. The teachers sensed something was wrong but none of them bothered to ask, nor make her remove her hood. They just ignored her, which for everyone’s sake, was probably the best thing. She grabbed her binder and unfolded the piece of paper.
"My Princess,
IDK what to say anymore. I can tell you one thing no matter what I will never ever give up nor will I leave. I can’t…I’m…I’m too much in love. I can tell you right now the day I turn 18 I will be gone and on the street I could care less about the fuckin cruise or any shit like that. All I want is you. All I want to do is take you and run. Runaway from all the drama and shit. I want to hold you and tell you it will all be okay. That it will all turn out cause I’m not going anywhere no matter what. I’m here. Always and forever. All I want is to kiss your lips and taste that taste I have been craving. Your eyes are full of hate and sadness, sorrow, and pain. I want it all to go away but I just can’t. I’m back on the chains. I just got off but only a matter of days til I can hold my princess and not cry, well maybe tears of joy but whatever.
Love always
Yours only
Never leaving
Acy"
She bit her lip, fighting the tears that wanted to fall. Ace wouldn’t leave but she was being locked away from Sirus.
“I love her.” Sirus muttered.
“I know.”
“I can’t lose her.”
“I know. You won’t.”
“Why are you an optimist? I’m going to lose her even if I fight.”
“And are you going to quit fighting?”
“No.”
“Good.”
“Sirus?” Ally stood in front of Sirus.
“What?” Sirus snapped still looking at the note.
“I’m hyper.”
“Good for you.” She bit her lip harder, “Sorry Ally just not in the best mood.”
“I know.”
“yeah.” The bell rang and Sirus ran out of the room walking the halls waiting to just see Ace’s face. To just see Ace and whisper those three words. Ace passed her and they caught the others gaze. Everything they wanted to say was said in their eyes. ‘I love you’ ‘it’ll be okay’ ‘we’ll make it’ ‘we have to’ ‘parents can’t take me away from you’ they passed with a final glance and a hidden touch. Sirus grabbed Ace’s hand not wanting to let go. I almost cried for those two.
Trying not to cry as Ace walked into the basketball meeting. On separate sides of the room looking at each other not wanting to pay attention to wh
at was actually said.
"I love you." Sirus mouthed gazing into Ace's big brown eyes.
"I love you too." Ace gave a small, but fake smile that Sirus saw through. She wiped the tears from her eyes and never broke the gaze.
Both of them stayed after to "talk to the coaches" Sirus stayed on more of a personal level. The new coach, if she would call him that, was taking her dad's place. Her dad had died just last year. Sirus was still shattered and depressed over it. Her dad had been her best friend and the only one she truly trusted. She knew he wasn't perfect, but she loved him. And he was gone.
"So if I walk out of practice next year, don't take it personal."
The new guy nodded, understanding what she had gone through, why she didn't play last year, "I'll give you time."
Sirus nodded and walked away. Why was it so hard to accept this guy? He hadn't done anything to her. He didn't kill her father, but that was it, He wasn't her father. She knew her dad should be the one coaching. She should be living with her dad, but she wasn't as much as she wished she was, she wasn't. She wasn't doing the things that she knew should be happening but that was life. And life was fucked up.
Ace walked out of the room with a final glance at Sirus. They had the next class together but both of them knew they'd still be apart. The email was circulating around: Annabel and Angel are not allowed to be by each other.
They knew that but knowing those two they'd never listen.
Sirus sat in her class wanting to go to Ace's homeroom but knowing she couldn't. I saw her binder as she wrote a reply:
"My baby,
I trust you when you say you won’t leave. Never have I doubted you on that. Live with Kimie when your eighteen if you have to. You and me will go on our own cruise. Just us, no parents, no drama. The only people we need are each other. I’m yours. God I wanted to hold on to you in the meeting. Seeing you almost cry/cry broke me—cause I want to stop the tears, never let you cry again. Allys sitting here trying to keep me laughing but even with her here it’s not the same. I really want to sprint down the hall way and jump into your arms and kiss you. God I miss how you taste and through all this all I can think of is the YMCA and your smile. My eyes lighten up when I think of that or of just being in your arms. We’ll get through this. I love you.
Only yours
Princess."
"I'm leaving. Jumping off a cliff. I'll run away. I'm ending it." Sirus mumbled the words to her poems softly as she sat not paying attention to the English teacher talking. Mrs. Hutton was dumb. Sirus knew all she needed to, all the writing dictations, rhythm, alliteration. That was common language to Sirus.
"Angel. You need to pay attention." Mrs. Hutton’s voice filled her head, Sirus's eyes darkened.
"It's Sirus. I'm no Angel."
"Angel. Put your pens away and pay attention."
"Yeah sure whatever." Sirus shrugged her off and kept writing. She didn't care anymore. She never did.
“Angel.”
“I get the stuff. K? My god you’d think with my test scores and publishing experience you guys would realize that I know this stuff.”
“Fine then what is alliteration?”
Sirus set her binder down, got up, and glared at Mrs. Hutton, “Alliteration is use of the same consonant at the beginning of each stressed syllable in a line of verse.” She paused, “That’s the dictionary definition.”
“Who wrote Caesar?”
“William Shakespeare.”
“Oh.” Mrs. Hutton looked stumped, how could the girl that never cared know almost everything.
“And if you’re going to ask me another question here’s my answer. I’ll pass your class until either you or me is out of here and I’ll never talk to you after that.”
“Sit down and do your work.”
“Already turned in.”
Sirus sat at the desk and wrote more poems:
“Sacred Silent Suicide
My rules I do abide
Blades and Traces of my blood
Covered in dirt and mud
Sacred Silent Suicide
This is the day I died.”
“I just want out of here
Baby hold me near
They can’t say no
Come on baby let’s go.”
“Don’t promise me forever
Cause forever doesn’t exist.
Promise you’ll love me now
Just go with the twists.”
“Hidden words written on papers
That you’ll never see
I’m writing my life’s story
I’m going to be me”
Her words slightly scared and annoyed me. I knew she wouldn’t kill herself but I couldn’t promise she wouldn’t feel physical pain somehow. She loved that pain. I knew she did. Everyone knew she did. So would she get what she loved?