We're Not Falling In Love, We're Just Falling Apart

Being ever the lady, my composure never faltered as I locked eyes with the blonde boy who'd just called my name.

Nathaniel Archibald.

Holy. Fuck.

I'm fairly certain I wouldn't have been more stunned if I'd just read that Women's Wear Daily had suddenly declared Crocs to be more fashionable than Manolos. Though, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I shouldn't be so surprised. I knew Nate was rich, I knew he was from a prominent family, hell I even knew he was Chuck Bass' best friend. It only stood to reason that he would be here tonight. But that didn't make my heart race any less as he advanced toward me.

“Pepper Wellington” he said again, with that signature lazy grin of his. “I never thought I'd see you back here in New York. It's been too long. Way too long."

He gave me a long, slow glance that made my cheeks burn hot. There was something in the way he was looking at me that conveyed so much more than just one old friend addressing another. And honestly, with the way we'd left things, I was surprised he was speaking to me at all.

“You look great,” he said, wrapping two strong arms around me, enveloping me in that too familiar scent of fresh cut grass, soap, and marijuana that was unquestionably Nate . “You look really, really great.”

“You don't look so bad yourself, Archibald,” I said with a sheepish grin when he finally released me and stepped back. “These past three years have done you good.”

“And I have it from a trusted source that Nathaniel here did you pretty good about three years ago,” Chuck said with a smirk. “You must be the infamous Pepper of '07. Pleased to make your acquaintance. It's not everyday we get fresh meat of your grade, and sisters nonetheless.”

He shot Evelyn a lascivious glance and grinned.

“Well Merry Christmas to me,” he said, tipping back his millionth glass of champagne. “What do you say I take you ladies on a tour of my penthouse? There's a rather spacious hot tub I think you might be interested in.”

“You're disgusting,” the brunette snapped at him, her perfect little nose wrinkled in disdain. “Nate do you know these people?”

“What?” he asked, unwillingly tearing his gaze from mine.

“I said,” she repeated, her tone icy. “Do you know these people?”

“Blair,” the blonde one, Serena, said soothingly. “Chill out. Obviously Pepper is an old friend of Nate's.”

She smiled at me, though I could tell it didn't quite reach her eyes. There was a predatory aspect to the way she looked at Nate a second later that made me think they were something more than friends. Though, judging by the way he'd embraced me only moments before, I had to wonder if perhaps the feelings weren't so mutual.

“Any friend of Nate's is a friend of ours,” she said cheerily. “How about a toast to our new friends?”

“I'll drink to that,” Chuck said, tightening his grip around Evelyn's waist.

“To Pepper and Evelyn,” Serena said and everyone clinked glasses before downing them in one smooth move. I noticed that Blair only did so unwillingly and I couldn't help but wonder if she was going to be a problem in the upcoming days and months at Constance. Even back in freshman year she'd been something of an upstart “queen bee” and I had the sinking feeling that not much had changed. If there was anyone I didn't want considering me an enemy it was her.

“Excuse me,” she said coldly, slamming her glass down on a nearby table and shooting Chuck the most withering glare I'd ever seen. “I think I hear my mother calling me.”

“But her mom isn't even-” Nate started but Serena cut him off.

“So Pepper, Evelyn, what brings you two to Manhattan, or should I say back to Manhattan?”

“My mother remarried,” I answered, my voice faltering a little as all the champagne mixed with the whiskey I'd snuck in the bathroom went straight to my head. “We were living in Florence but when she met Robert it was bam! back to Manhattan. They didn't even bother to have a proper wedding.”

“Yeah,” Evelyn chimed in, not looking at all uncomfortable with Chuck's arm around her. “They got married in some little Italian villa that was basically a town hall sort of thing. They're planning a huge wedding this spring here in New York though. It's going to be amazing.”

“I'm sure it will be,” Serena said with a touch of condescension, not even listening. “My brother Eric just got here, excuse me a moment.”

“And then there were four,” Chuck said smarmily. “I must say I rather prefer three but if Nathaniel here is up for it...”

I rolled my eyes and ignored him. Someone like Chuck Bass does not need any encouragement. Instead I turned my attention back to Nate who was staring at me intently.

“I've missed you-” I started.

“You didn't call-”

My cheeks burned red again as I looked down at my hands.

“Do you want to go somewhere to talk?” I asked, almost shyly.

He didn't answer, instead he took my hand and pulled me outside onto an empty balcony and shut the doors behind us. I gave a fleeting thought to Evelyn and the fact that I was leaving her at the mercy of Chuck Bass but all thoughts of her flew from my mind as Nate grabbed me around the waist and pulled me close.

“I've been waiting for this for three years,” he said huskily and our lips met in what I can only describe as the best fucking kiss ever.

Minutes, maybe hours, passed and we finally broke apart, out of breath and somewhere between shock and euphoria.

“That's a hell of a welcome home,” I said with a shaky laugh, still feeling a little weak in the knees.

Nate didn't laugh as I expected him to, instead he stared at me, smolderingly, unspeaking.

“Nate,” I said a moment later, keeping eye contact but feeling more vulnerable than I'd felt in ages. “Just say something, please.”

“Why did you leave?” he asked bluntly. “Why did you leave without telling me? And why the hell couldn't you have called? I told you I loved you, Pepper. I told you I loved you and you fucking ran away to Italy!”

Before I could say anything in response, the doors to the balcony flew open and Evelyn stood there looking a little tipsy and more than a little surprised to find Nate and I standing so close and so obviously involved in deep conversation.

“Sorry, Pep,” she said sheepishly, struggling to keep the slur in her voice from sounding too prominent. “Dad wants us to leave immediately, something about tomorrow being the first day at a new school and him being a responsible parent. You know the drill.”

“Yeah,” I said, giving her a pointed look that clearly said “Get lost”. “I'll be right there.”

She nodded, looking at me quizzically for a second, and then walked unsteadily back into the building.

“I, uh, I guess I'd better be going,” I said quietly, afraid to meet Nate's eyes again, knowing he wanted answers. Answers that I couldn't give him, at least not right now.

“You're just going to leave?” he asked incredulously.

“Nate I have to. My parents-”

“Fine!” he said hotly. “Fine! Just go! Running away is your fucking specialty anyway.”

And with that he pulled away from me and disappeared into the throng of people still enjoying the party.

Welcome back to Manhattan, Pepper, I thought to myself as I fought my way through the crowd and out to the waiting car. Fucking welcome home.

Spotted: P and E leaving the Bass Gala Dinner looking a little worse for the wear. Will E be C's newest conquest? Will S and B willingly allow two new interlopers to come between them and their men? Will we ever find out the secret behind P and N's mysterious history? Stay tuned to find out because you know wherever there's dirt I'll be there to dig it up, or at least my gardener will. You know you love me. XoXo Gossip Girl.