Band Aid Only Covers the Bullet Hole

So there I was with Lazzara, just hanging around in the decaying kitchen. The doors to the counters and cabinets were hanging off the hinges, and cobwebs adorned more than just the corners of the grimy, grotty room. Everything in the shitty kitchen was covered in at least half an inch of dirt, and in some places the dust was so thick that I probably could have buried my fist in it. Not that I’d want to; ugh, no. That would be disgusting.

Lazzara was leaning against the grotty kitchen counter, acting all ‘Oh yeah, I’m cool’, as he lit up a cigarette, and then casually flicked his hair back out of his amazingly deep brown eyes. It was strange, actually; although Lazzara gave off the impression of being such a dark, sinister guy, in reality he was pretty normal. Or, well, as normal as drug addicts go, I suppose.

“This is a great conversation we’re having here.” Lazzara commented completely out of the blue, giving me a pointed smirk through his long mop of hair. “I mean, seriously… it’s a good fucking thing we can get along so well; I hate awkward silences.”

“There’s nothing awkward about this silence,” I replied nonchalantly, yet trying to hide the fact that my face was heating up slightly from embarrassment. “I was just thinking.”

“About?” The drug-dealer questioned interestedly, offering me his pack of cigarettes, but I shook my head in refusal. I don’t know why, really – I just wasn’t in the mood for smoking right at that moment. “… Not about how much you miss your precious Iero?”

I scoffed, and then replied to Lazzara’s fucked up assumption in a cool tone. “I haven’t thought of him for one second since we left.”

“Ha, yeah, sure…” He laughed, taking a step away from the counter, and over towards me. He was smirking again, but that expression actually kind of suited him; it accentuated his strong cheekbones, and made his eyes sort of sparkle, despite them being narrowed. I mean, whoah. I was actually beginning to think Lazzara was good-looking. Just the way he could so casually pull me into his charm was incredible… Fuck, I don’t know, but there was something really attractive about Lazzara, and I think it was his extreme sense of mysteriousness. “… Whatcha say your name was again, angel?”

“Don’t call me angel.” I snarled; I hated any sort of pet names. Even getting called ‘sugar’ by Frank pissed me off, but I never told him that. I’m not certain why, but probably because I knew he’d just take it all as sarcasm, and laugh at me for it. “It’s Hannah. No shortened versions. No pet names. No nicknames. Nothing; just Hannah.”

“Alright then, Nothing-but-Hannah,” Lazzara mocked me, but actually surprised me by giving me a small grin along with his teasing. “I like a girl who can talk back, you know.”

“I like a guy who actually tells me his first name.” I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes to myself at Lazzara’s directness. I mean, of all the ways to be flirtatious, Lazzara had to go about it the cheesy way, didn’t he? At least Frank had just skipped all that sort of shit, and gone straight in with a kiss…

“It’s Adam.” Lazzara came right out with, taking me by surprise. “First name Adam, last name Lazzara.”

I took a moment to run the name through my mind, before I replied. Adam Lazzara… – sounded pretty cool, didn’t it? “Oh, that’s… well, thanks – for telling me, I mean.”

Adam cackled at my thanks, and waved his cigarette vaguely around in front of him, as a sort of dismissal. “Man, you’re pretty fucking polite for a coke addict… I’m starting to understand what Iero ever saw in you.”

“Frank didn’t see anything in me, fuck off.”

“Hey, man, chill out.” Adam replied defensively, completely over-dramatically putting his hands up in the air, and acting as if I was a cop about to shoot him. “I was trying to act halfway decent, but sure, if you don’t like that, then I’ll go back to being the bitchy-assed motherfucker I normally am.”

That reply actually caught me off guard, I’ll admit. Because although I’d expected Adam to snap back at my shortness sometime soon, I hadn’t expected it to be just that fast. And he’d made it sound as though I’d genuinely hurt him, too; you could argue that because I lived such a ‘rough’ life, I’d be used to having people pissed off with me. But fact was, although I was a fucked up coke addict who earned their living by selling off loads of shit, I did still care enough to have people like me.

Ugh, I also gave in way too easily; I sniffed slightly, and mumbled down to my shoes. “Sorry… Adam.”

Adam dropped his hands, and a fresh smirk plastered itself across his handsome face. “No problem, angel.”

“I said not to-”

“I know you did, but then you made me feel shitty, so we’re even.” Adam told me simply, chucking the remaining stub of his cigarette out the window. “Or as even as you being my delivery bitch can make us.”

I rolled my eyes at Adam’s straight-forwardness. I mean, I was just kidding around; I liked Adam really – we got along pretty well. I just liked winding him up, too. “I’m not your delivery bitch, Adam.”

“Sure you are; you and that other little whore worked for Iero, didn’t you?”

“Only because he paid for us to have a place to stay.”

“Well aren’t I giving you a fucking place to stay?” Adam demanded, giving out a creepy sort of laugh. “C’mon, angel – I saved you from that motherfucker, didn’t I?”

“To be honest, ‘saving’ is a bit over-dramatic.”

Adam pretended to look mortally offended as I said that; he put a hand to his heart and pretended to stagger backwards out of shock. “Over-dramatic? Fuck off.”

“Alright then.” I replied simply, and deliberately took Adam’s words literally, despite knowing he was just fucking around. I turned on my heel and went to leave the shitty kitchen, making up my mind on the spot to go see what Bill and Juliette were up to. But I’d barely take two steps towards the door, when I felt a strong grip latch onto my elbow from behind, as I was then spun around to find my face inches from Adam’s. His breath reeked of tobacco, and close up, I could see that Adam’s face was fairly unshaven, plus he still had a small trickle of dried blood coming down from his hairline, obviously caused by his fight with Frank earlier. Yet somehow, although Adam’s eyes were still sparkling maliciously, his overall entire appearance was actually fairly attractive.

Even as he murmured: “I was fucking kidding, bitch,” into my ear, and then shoved his lips roughly against mine, I was still admiring Adam’s talent for looking good, despite being so fucked up. And to be completely honest, I won’t deny that he was actually a pretty good kisser, especially as he caught me completely off guard. I mean, normally if a guy randomly tries to kiss me, I shove them the fuck away; but Adam did it in such a way that I didn’t.

In fact, I actually kissed Adam back, entwining my fingers into his long hair and smirking at my sudden urge to be a complete whore. But then, wouldn’t you do the exact same, if it was a guy like Adam Lazzara hanging in the balance?

Adam muttered something incoherent right before he deepened the kiss, that sounded vaguely like “Who’s better than Iero now, angel?”, to which I didn’t even bother replying. Adam was blatantly just trying to wind me up, and for once I wasn’t going to let him; I decided on spur of the moment that I honestly didn’t give a fuck.

“Let’s go somewhere that your sister won’t walk in.” Adam grunted vaguely, grabbing me around the wrist and leading me away up some crumbling stairway. He led me into some bedroom across the landing, but I can’t really remember the details much; just that everything was damp, decaying and just generally disgusting.

I barely had time to comment on how fucked up Adam’s room was though, before he started kissing me again. He wasted no time in lifting off my shirt and then fumbling around with the fastenings of my jeans, the little pervert; then again, I wasn’t really much better, letting him just go at it like that. I could have stopped Adam at any time, really, but I chose not to.

And you know why that was, my lovely little children?

Because I was a completely fucked up whore.