Slowly Dying Alone

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....Kylie and Nick followed Denise and Paul into the hospital. Everyone had wanted to come, but Kylie worried that the room might seem a little small with so many people surrounding her. She was thankful for the kind words everyone had whispered to her at home…just before they left. Nick lightly squeezed Kylie’s hand making her smile. Paul walked up to the receptionist’s desk on the pediatric oncology ward.

....“Hi, can I help you?” the lady behind the desk asked with a kind smile.

....“Hi, my foster daughter is scheduled to be admitted today,” Paul said gesturing to Kylie. The lady smiled at Kylie and she couldn’t help but to smile back.

....“Hello…” the lady typed something on her screen and then looked up, “Kaylin Martin?” Kylie nodded. “I’m Winifred…the daytime receptionist here. Anytime your family wants to see you, they’ll come through me first,” Winifred said with another one of her kind smiles.

....“I’m Paul Jonas…this is my wife Denise…and my son Nick,” Paul said his voice low.

....“Yes, we got your letter yesterday…don’t worry Kylie will be well protected. No one will be allowed to see her…unless they are on this list here,” Winifred said her face turning serious. “She’s also been listed under the name Kaylin Markus…just to throw off anyone who might come in looking for Kylie Martin.”

....“We appreciate everything this hospital has done for our family,” Paul said with a nod.

....“It’s no problem; this hospital values its privacy and confidentiality rules. Anyone found releasing patient information will be fired without notice, pay, and it puts a black mark on your record,” Winifred informed. She had this way of making Kylie feel calm, which at the moment was a good thing. Of course nothing could make her feel as calm as Nick’s hand securely wrapped in her own. “Let me just page a nurse, and she will show everyone around the hospital,” Winifred said as she picked up her phone. Paul looked over at Kylie and Nick and smiled.

....“How are you doing?” he asked softly.

....“I’ll be okay,” Kylie promised. “I’m used to hospitals,” she then added.

....“Yes, but hopefully this will be your last stay,” Nick said adamantly. Kylie smiled.

....“Yes, hopefully,” was all that Kylie could say. Kylie knew that she was supposed to stay positive, but sometimes it was hard. Kylie has been fighting this cancer for so long she was beginning to think that it might win in the end. She looked over at Nick and internally sighed. She knew that if Nick could hear her thoughts he would be disappointed. Nick didn’t like it when Kylie considered giving up and he refused to allow her to talk about it.

....Nick was something to live for, he was something that Kylie wanted to live for, but she just didn’t know how much longer she could keep this fight going. Secretly she really did hope that they would find a marrow for her, but part of her knew that she needed to be ready for disappointment.

....“Hello, I’m Nurse Caldwell, but you can call me Angie,” a nurse with bright red hair said interrupting Kylie’s train of thought – which probably was a good thing. Paul went ahead and introduced everyone again and Angie smiled at Kylie. Kylie gave a small smile back and leaned closer into Nick. Nick leaned over and kissed Kylie’s temple letting her know that everything would be fine. Kylie relaxed and followed Angie, Paul and Denise past the reception desk.

....As they walked Angie pointed out every area that would be of use to Kylie – the game room, the rec room, the chemo lab, patient cafeteria where she could get any kind of food she could think of, library, and finally she led them down a long hall and into Kylie’s new room.

....“And this is where Kylie will be staying,” Angie said completing the tour. “Her roommate is Sarah Rayne and around the same age as you Kylie,” she informed as they walked into the room with two hospital beds, a full bathroom, two dressers, and two desks. Two TV’s were hanging from the ceiling, each one pointing straight at a bed. Next to each bed there was a side table with a couple of drawers for storing personal items. Above the beds, hanging on the walls, were bulletin boards, with funky tacks.

....One side of the room, the side by the window, was clearly occupied. The side table had some things sitting on top of it, a book, an alarm clock, and a few other small things. The desk was a mess, with paper and envelopes all over the top. The bulletin about Sarah’s bed had pictures, some of family, some of celebrities; Kylie smiled when she saw one of the pictures hanging above the bed.

....“Looks like my roommates a fan,” Kylie whispered to Nick. Nick looked over and smiled giving a slight laugh. It was an older picture of the Jonas brothers, but Nick still found it nice to see.

....“It will be nice to meet her,” Nick said honestly. He always enjoyed meeting fans. Honestly though, Nick was just hoping that Kylie’s new roommate was a kind and understanding person. He didn’t like the idea of Kylie having to stay with someone who was mean and vindictive.

....“And where is Sarah at this time?” Kylie asked kindly.

....“She’s in the chemo lab,” Angie said. Kylie gave a small tremble causing Nick to notice and pull her closer. “I’ll let you get settled Kylie and I’ll be back soon to hook you to an IV and take your vitals,” the kind nurse then said. Kylie nodded and thanked Angie.

....“Where do you want your bag?” Nick asked holding out the duffel that he had been carrying for her. Kylie sighed and pointed to the bed. Suddenly this was all becoming too real. She really didn’t want to cause a downer, but at this point Kylie was once again afraid and worried. Denise must of sense that something was off because she pulled Kylie into her arms.

....“Everything will be fine,” she promised in a whisper. Kylie nodded against Denise’s shoulder and out of nowhere Kylie choked a sob. She had been trying so hard not to break down. Kylie didn’t want the Jonas’s to see her like this; it wasn’t fair to them to have to handle her emotions. Kylie felt someone take her out of Denise’s arms and she leaned heavily into Nick’s broad shoulder. She inhaled his scent as her tears soaked the front of Nick’s shirt.

....Nick soothed Kylie gently as he looked over at his parents. He knew that his mom was hurting as she leaned heavily into his dad. They both looked like they were worried. He knew that this moment had been building. Kylie tried so hard to be strong, but he had seen her breaking as the day had worn on. Now with her crying in his arms, Nick was worried. What was his leaving going to do to her? He couldn’t break the tour; their fans had been waiting all summer for this tour. But he didn’t want to leave Kylie either. He had never felt so strongly for another girl.

....He couldn’t be sure, but sometimes he felt like he loved Kylie, but Nick knew that sometimes he had a habit of rushing his relationships. He didn’t want to do that to Kylie. She was his everything, his reason, his being, his soul. He knew that, but did that mean love?

....“Nick, we’re going to step out,” Paul said as he looked down at his wife. Tears were forming in the crest of her eyes. “We’ll give you two a moment,” he said. Nick nodded and silently thanked his father. Nick needed the moment.

....“Kylie,” Nick whispered once his parents were out of the room and down the hall. Kylie sighed and pulled slightly away – not completely out of his grasp, but enough so she could look into his eyes.

....“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice scratchy from the crying.

....“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Nick assured with a smile. Kylie looked into his eyes and smiled back. “I’m your boyfriend. It’s my job to sooth you when you cry,” Nick then said in a firm manner. Kylie’s smile widened.

....“I…I just…” Kylie couldn’t seem to put what she wanted to say into words.

....“I know and I’m glad that I can be there for you when you need me,” Nick said, not needing to hear her unvoiced thoughts.

....“Me too,” Kylie whispered. Nick pulled a phone out of his pocket and handed it to her.

....“I got this for you,” Nick said with a smile. “It has all the personal numbers that you’ll need to get a hold of me. You can call or text me anytime you want, I don’t care about the time.” Kylie looked down at the phone and silently took it out of Nick’s hands. She looked up at Nick and gave a pleased smile.

....“I’ll expect a call everyday,” she said.

....“As do I…as well as many texts,” Nick replied. Kylie put the phone into her pocket and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Nick hugged her tightly his arms bound around her small waist. They had three weeks before they had to miss each other…three weeks that they refused to waste.