Slowly Dying Alone

.....Joe looked around his room as he finished his packing. It was going to be a long trip and Joe wanted to make sure that he had everything he would need for the tour. He didn’t know what he was going to do about Sawyer and…David, but he did know that going to go on tour a free – single – man and figure things out from there.

.....“Hey Joe,” a small voice said from his door. Joe turned and saw Jeremiah standing in the doorway. Joe smiled at the boy.

.....“Hey Jer,” Joe said. “Come in,” he added patting a spot on his bed.

.....“Pay-Pay said you and her…broke-up,” Jeremiah said quietly as he sat on the bed. “Do you not love Pay-Pay?” Joe sighed. He didn’t want to hurt the boy, but he didn’t want to lie to the boy.

.....“Jer…sometimes things just don’t work out. I like your sister…but I don’t feel anything more then a sisterly feeling for her,” Joe tried his best to explain.

.....“But you…you liked her weeks ago,” Jeremiah protested. Joe sighed…Jeremiah was right. Weeks ago he couldn’t get Payton out of his head. But that was when Sawyer was single…and not even considering other men. Of course weeks ago Joe didn’t even know that he was in love with Sawyer. It took David – for Joe to finally realize his feelings.

.....“You’re right,” Joe finally admitted. This child was five and already seeing things that most adults usually missed. “But sometimes things change…and your sister deserves more…better then me.” Joe knew the whole break-up was his own fault and he couldn’t allow for this boy to look at his sister in a bad light. Jeremiah gave a slight nod, before leaving the room. Joe once again sighed. Things were not going the way he had planned.

***

.....Nick felt lost…not really lost…just like half of him was missing. He couldn’t really explain it, he didn’t understand it, but he was willing to bet that his other half was in a completely different state. Nick missed Kylie, he missed her scent, her kiss, her touch, he missed everything about her. Nick knew that he couldn’t…wouldn’t cancel his tour, but his ache made him want to cancel the tour.

.....He never thought that there would be a day when a woman would mean more to him then his music, then his fans.

....."You okay son?" Nick looked up and saw his father. Nick nodded.

....."I'm good…I just miss Kylie," he sighed.

....."I'm sure she misses you too," Paul assured.

....."I know, I was just realizing that she's my other half. Is mom your other half? Do you feel like half of you is missing whenever you two are apart?" Nick asked as he looked up at his dad. Paul sighed.

....."Son, your mom is everything to me. And sometimes I feel like part of me is gone, when she's not around, but I know that every time that we are apart, she's missing me just as much. It makes the whole idea of being able to see her again, that much more special. If Kylie is that special to you, then you just have to remember that she's missing you just as much…if not more," Paul said gently. Nick smiled.

....."She would be missing me more. I mean I at least have my brothers and you here, while Kylie only has herself. I guess it's not the same, when you're alone," Nick said with some thought. Paul looked over at his son – his child was growing up, falling in love. Paul didn’t know where the time had passed. But he was glad to see that Nick had found that special someone. Because Kylie is a very special girl.

....."I'll leave you to your thoughts," Paul whispered as he quietly left the room. Nick just sat there – thinking. Nick then pulled out his phone.

....."Hello," a groggy voice answered.

....."Were you sleeping?" Nick asked with concern.

....."Not really," Kylie whispered, "It's tough sleeping when you're in a hospital all alone," she informed.

....."I'm sorry," Nick whispered as he leaned back into his bunk.

....."I don't mind. I just miss you," she replied.

....."I miss you too," Nick said. Kylie laughed quietly.

....."It's quiet here without you." Nick sighed.

....."I know…I'm surrounded by noise and all I feel …is alone."

....."I feel lost," Kylie whispered.

....."I feel the same way…like half of me is missing," Nick agreed. "My dad says that it happens sometimes. He says that the missing is only half of the experience."

....."What's the other half?" Kylie asked softly.

....."Getting to see that other half again. Knowing that she misses me just as much…if not more…then I miss her. I love you Kylie," Nick whispered.

....."I love you too, Nick. And I do miss you…a lot. You're on my mind…all the time," Kylie whispered back. Nick sighed. "Will you stay on the phone with me…until I fall asleep?" she asked.

....."We'll fall asleep together," Nick assured.

....."Good, I hate falling asleep alone," Kylie said with a sigh. They talked quietly for a while before they both were fast asleep, dreaming of each other.

***

.....Several weeks later Kylie was sitting in her room reading a book that Nick had left for her. Sarah was currently in the exam room having some more x-ray on her leg. Kylie was worried for her, but she knew that Sarah was in the best hands. Kylie put the book down and sighed, almost four week and she already missed Nick more then she thought was possible. She talked to him everyday, but somehow it wasn’t the same as seeing him, touching him, holding him. Kylie loved Nick and they both knew that things would be hard, but they were both willing to go through the trails and temptations in order to survive.

.....“Kylie,” the doctor said as he walked into the room. Kylie looked over and gave a small smile.

.....“Hello Dr. Carlson,” Kylie said as she sat up a little pulling the blanket over her sweats and t-shirt.

.....“Well Kylie, we have some good news,” the doctor said. Just then Denise walked in the room with Frankie and Jeremiah on her heels.

.....“Good news?” Denise asked with some excitement. Kylie remained silent; she reached over and grasped her phone, ready to call Nick at the drop of the hat.

.....“Yes, it would seem that we have found a suitable marrow donor for Kylie. We will begin prepping her tomorrow morning, and then we will rid your body of all its meds,” the doctor explained.

.....“What do you mean?” Denise asked.

.....“In order to allow her new marrow to fight the old marrow, we have to rid her body of all medications, anything really that could fight her new marrow off. We won’t be killing the immune system, but we will have to weaken it, so it can’t try to attack the new marrow. It will be a long process and by next week we will be ready to place the marrow in Kylie. Then a day or two before we give her the new marrow we basically kill her system with Chemo in order for the marrow to have a fighting chance. Once we have placed the marrow in Kylie, she will stay in a sanitized room where infection can’t harm her. Once we are sure the marrow is working and doing its job, Kylie will be free to go, checking in with us each week.”

.....Kylie sighed. All this time she had been waiting for this day, and now, now when she was just about to give up hope, she was getting her chance.

.....“I’ll leave you to discuss things,” Dr. Carlson said as he walked out with a final good-bye. Kylie leaned back to her pillow and tightly clutched her phone to her chest.

.....“Kylie this is a good thing,” Denise said happily as she rested her hand on Kylie’s arms. Kylie once again sighed and lifted her phone so she could see the screen. Kylie pressed the ‘one’ key and slowly placed the phone to her ear.

.....“Hello,” his voice said after three rings. Kylie sighed with relief.

.....“Nick,” Kylie whispered.

.....“Kylie…what’s wrong?” Nick asked with concern.

.....“Nothing…nothing,” Kylie assured. “They…um…they found me a donor,” Kylie said slowly. Nick was silent and then he yelped in excitement.

.....“Seriously?” he asked his voice eager.

.....“Seriously…next week I will be sitting in an isolated room watching the marrow do its work,” Kylie replied with a smile.

.....“Kylie…I love you…so much,” Nick said with a laugh. Kylie smiled.

.....“I love you too,” Kylie whispered as she leaned back onto her pillow. Things were finally going the way she wanted them too.