Losing Meg

Sophie ran up the hill, clutching her rag doll tightly in one arm and tugging a sled behind her with the other. The sun glinted merrily over the pure white snow which little Sophie sank knee deep into with every labored step.

“Mommy and Daddy should have come,” Sophie said, “but they’re too busy. Now they’ll miss all the fun, but not us, right, Meg?”

No one gave an answer but Sophie had not been expecting one. She just kept chattering until she finally reached the top of the hill. She glanced back down at the house and saw her mother standing on the porch, holding a mug of hot chocolate. With Sophie standing way up on the hill, Mrs. Taylor seemed to be Meg’s height.

Sophie held Meg out at arm’s length next to her mother and closed one eye. She covered her mouth with her free hand and giggled. “Look, Meg, you’re bigger than Mommy.”

The little girl pulled Meg, the small rag doll, towards her and once again peeked down the hill. She shivered and pulled her bright yellow scarf more tightly around her neck. “That’s a long way down,” Sophie mumbled. She looked down at the house. “Maybe Mommy finished cooking dinner. We’ve been up here a really, really long time. Let’s go back and eat.”

Sophie grabbed the rope that she’d used to pull the sled and then let it go. “I’ll be back in a little while, Mr. Sled. You be good and stay right here where I can find you,” she demanded of the shiny wood sled with bright red handles and two perfectly made runners.

She made her way back home, carefully retracing her steps. By the time she got to the house, Mrs. Taylor was no longer standing on the porch. Sophie opened the sliding door, clambered in, and slid it closed behind her. She stamped her little feet and the snow that was stuck to her shiny rubber boots cascaded to the floor. Giggling, she stomped her tiny foot again.

“Sophie Marie Taylor, you stop that right now,” Mrs. Taylor scolded from the threshold between the kitchen and the living room.

Sophie pouted, her bright blue eyes already brimming over with tears. Mrs. Taylor took several calming breaths before sighing and walking gracefully over to her daughter. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” Sophie murmured.

“I’m sorry too, sweetie.” her mother said softly, wiping away Sophie’s tears with the sleeve of her blouse. “I’m sorry, please don’t cry, K?” Sophie nodded and her mom stood back up and retreated into the kitchen. “So, did you have fun in the snow? You were only out there for fifteen minutes.”

“I’m hungry; is dinner done yet?” Sophie asked as she struggled to get out of her coat.

“Yeah, it is,” her mom answered. “We just have to wait for Daddy.”

She muttered something else but Sophie didn’t hear over the sudden ripping sound that filled the living room. Sophie took in the damage to her coat with wide eyes. She would surely get in trouble now. “Um…” Sophie frantically searched for something to say to stop her mom’s clicking heels from coming into the living room. “When is Daddy coming home?”

“He’ll be here in a few minutes,” she replied, walking back through the threshold. She surveyed Sophie’s coat with a tired expression but said nothing. She simply walked over to Sophie took the coat and hung it onto the rack. “So you never said; did you have fun outside?”

“Mhm, but Meg was too scared to go down the hill,” Sophie said, holding the battered rag doll in front of her like a shield.

Her mom smiled softly as she gently took Meg from her daughter. “Maybe she needs someone to make her feel better; someone like you, Sophie. You can show her that there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Sophie shook her head, her curly brown locks swinging back and forth as she did so. “Meg wants you and Daddy to go down the hill with her. That way she won’t be scared.”

“You’re a big girl now, Sophie,” her mother replied. “You can show Meg without me or your dad. We won’t always be around, you know.”

The little girl tilted her head to the side and looked up at her mother with wide eyes. “Where are you going? Are you leaving me with grandma?”

Mrs. Taylor shook her head. “No, sweetie, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” she said walking back into the kitchen. Sophie followed her and climbed onto one of the cushioned seats, swinging her feet to and fro. “Anyway, nevermind that; the point is that you have to be brave and help others be too.”

“What does ‘brave’ mean?”

“Brave?” Mrs. Taylor echoed, looking at her daughter thoughtfully. “Being brave means to get over your fears and not being afraid.”

“I’m brave!” Sophie declared.

Before her mom could agree, the front door clicked open and a very snow-covered man entered the house. He stomped his foot, allowing the snow on his boots to fall off, and then dusted himself off. Mrs. Taylor left the kitchen and Sophie peeked out as her mother glared over at her father. “James Taylor, I just mopped the floor. I’d like it if I didn’t have to do it again tomorrow,” she snapped.

“It ain’t like you got anything else to do,” James answered nonchalantly as he kicked his heavy works boots off into the corner. He looked around and spotted Sophie on the floor. He walked over and Sophie stood up, her arms held high, ready for him to pick her up which he did with no hesitation. “How’s my favorite girl doing?” he asked as he planted a kiss on her forehead.

“I’m ok. Mommy cooked!”

“Good; and what did she cook?” he asked looking at his wife who was already serving the food. James set Sophie down on one of the seats, plopped down onto his chair, and stared at his plate. “For Christ’s sake; fish again?” He pushed his plate away. “I’m sick of this shit.”

“Jesus, James! Watch your mouth!” Her mom snatched his plate from the table, stalked to the trash, and forcefully shoved the fish into it. The plate clattered into the sink as she walked back and dropped into her seat again. “If you don’t like it, you can stay without eating tonight.”

James grumbled as he stood up and walked to the fridge. He kicked it open and began rummaging around for something. “What the hell? You’re here all day but you can’t go to the goddamn supermarket every once in awhile?”

“I’m sorry that I’m too busy keeping this place decent and taking care of Sophie to go out much,” she snarled back.

“That doesn’t take too long. So what you too busy doin’ all the other times? Watchin’ TV?”

Sophie stared at her plate and shoved her food around as her parents continued to argue. Finally, she looked up at the counter and saw Meg sitting up and watching the scene somberly. Then Sophie remembered the hill that Meg had been so afraid of sledding down. “Daddy?” James didn’t respond at first; he was focused on her mother and the argument. “Daddy?” she called louder.

James finally stopped and looked over at his daughter. His expression softened as he answered her, “What’s up, doll?”

“Can you come up on the hill with me ‘n’ Meg?” she asked. “Meg is too scared to go down alone.”

“Sure thing. But I’m done for the night; we’ll go first thing in the morning. I promise.” He looked over at her mother again and then stalked out of the room to get ready for bed.

Sophie continued to eat her food and watched as her mom shoved the fish into her mouth. Her mom’s eyes were red and a little puffy but she smiled shakily when she saw Sophie watching her. “You all done, sweetie?” Sophie nodded and her mom got up and began clearing the table.

“Mommy, why are you crying?”

“I’m not, sweetie.” She yawned as she turned her back and walked to the sink with the dishes. “I’m just so tired.” Suddenly she turned around and gave Sophie a mischievous grin. “You want some ice cream?” Sophie’s eyes lit up and she nodded. “Me too.” She went into the freezer and pulled out double chocolate fudge ice cream and two large bowls which she proceeded to fill with the sticky, frosty, sugar-filled stimulant.

The two stayed up late into the night eating their ice cream and by the time Sophie went to sleep she nearly forgot about the argument. Double chocolate fudge always made everyone feel better.

The sun bathed the living room with its bright light and Sophie sat at the kitchen table, patiently waiting for her father to wake up. She glanced at the green numbers on the clock and sighed. It was late; much later than usual for her father. Finally frustrated with her waiting, she took Meg and went over to her parent’s bedroom and cracked it open. Her mother was lying in bed, facing the window and her father was nowhere in sight. Maybe he’d gone out back.

She closed the door and walked past the open curtain on her way to the patio door. She glanced down at Meg and frowned. “Meg, Daddy’s car is gone.”

She turned around and went back to her mom. “Mommy?” Her mom turned over, her eyes moist but open.

“What happened, sweetie?”

“Where’s Daddy?”

“He left.”

“But he promised!” Sophie cried.

“I know, sweetie. I know.” She allowed Sophie to cuddle against her as she cried. “He promised me too.” They stayed that way for a few minutes before her mom spoke again. “You know what we should do?” Sophie shook her head. “Go sledding.”

Sophie got up and smiled brightly. They got dressed quickly and the pair trudged up the hill with Sophie in her new coat that until last night she had no need for. Sophie clutched Meg closer to her. When she saw the sled, she patted it cheerfully. “Good, Mr. Sled.”

“Sophie,” her mom said giggling. “The sled can’t move or speak.”

“I know; I was just pretending.”

“OK, sweetie, let’s get you on this thing.” She held the sled steady as Sophie perched herself onto it. “Now, hold onto the handles tight and don’t let go, ok? I’m going to push you down.”

“Mommy, Meg is scared,” Sophie murmured although her little hands gripped the handles for dear life and Meg sat on her lap.

“Don’t worry, Meg. Everything is going to be just fine; just watch.” Then she pushed and the sled zoomed down the hill.

Sophie arrived at the bottom; her cheeks were rosy and eyes bright with delight. In her rush to get back up the hill, she dropped the rag doll into the snow and it lay there forgotten far into the night. By the next morning, Sophie couldn’t find Meg anywhere, but she continued to slide down the soft white snow until it all melted away.