Torn Fragility

If you are near to the dark
I will tell you 'bout the sun
You are here, no escape
From my visions of the world
You will cry all alone
But it does not mean a thing to me~Aura, hack.//sign

To say the least it was uncomfortable. Not the kind of uncomfortable of eating out with a boy you sort of fancy but the kind of uncomfortable where you’re forced to sit down at the dinner table by your parents only to see that the ‘nice boy’ they were talking about is actually someone who makes your life a nightmare at school.

Except this situation couldn’t be compared to either of those. At least I had known something about the previous two boys.

Not thinking, I took a sip of the blood red liquid in my tall glass, which turned out to be very sweet wine that lingered sluggishly on the tongue.

I was edgy and the not-Max quickly noticed this. I had no idea at what he was playing but my pulse quickened and I broke out in a slight sweat. The fork I had picked up slipped out of my clammy hands and clattered onto the table top snapping the taut silence. I fumbled with it, and I found I couldn’t focus my eyes. What was wrong with me?

“Hmm…” my host said pushing his chair back and moving towards me in a one fluid flash of black.

“You’re wearing a tux,” I said and my voice came out slurred and puzzled. Did I have more than one sip? “It ruins the whole faerie court thing I had going.”

Not-Max gave a near human grin. “And I thought you would be sensible, so I guess we’re both wrong.”

“Wha’s wrong with me? Wha…What did ya put…in my drink?” I managed to say trying to work out why I was suddenly in his arms.

“I think you know the answer to that Rose. Talia never said anything about playing fair.”

And then my back sunk into something luxuriously soft and I sighed in pleasure as my eyes began to close of their own oblivion. But I didn’t mind. I was cosy now, deliciously so and I was perfectly tired.

Not-Max leaned down and whispered in my ear. “You’re staying an extra night with me, my little artist.”

It was hard to process this but my main worry came quickly to the oily, unclear surface of my thoughts. “Wha about Max? He’s…not well.”

“Forget Max. His time’s almost up.”

“Why does…Everyone keep sayin’ that? No one’s telling me what’s going on. How can I play along if I don’t…know what I’m supposed to do?” I yawned and my eyes shut fast as if they weighed tonnes.

There was the faint sound of laughter. “And yet you still stay with him. Amusing little human.”

“I haven’t been given much of a choice.” Now that my eyes were shut a bit of a focus came back to my thoughts.

He sat down on the edge of what I guessed was my bed and began to stroke my hair. I would’ve stopped him but I couldn’t; my limbs were leaden. I couldn’t even more a finger if I had tried hard enough. “You think you’re imprisoned. Ha! You can leave anytime you want; but you don’t. You’ve entrapped yourself and fallen right into our hands.”

“I…” I began then stopped. Could he be right? Could I have turned myself into a bird or was he making me think it was my fault? “That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it? Why do you think this happened to you? Out of so many people why you? Because of what you are that’s why. You’re no frail human.”

“Mmm…” I murmured as my mind finally succumbed to the power of the strange sweet wine and to sleep.



When I came to the next morning, everything was unusually sharp, almost too clear, painfully so. And thus it was explicitly clear that I wasn’t ‘back’. I was still in the strange not-my-room with the dozens of closets. But I had never before seen it during the daytime and it both entranced and disturbed me; for something had gone wrong, something had stopped me from going ‘back’.

I scrambled out of bed, dressed in a light cotton shift I found in one of the wardrobes and left my feet bare again. I felt that wearing those pretty bowed shoes would be like selling myself to this place.

I peeped out of the window and saw fields and fields of flowers stretching off in the distance. There were no other houses and only a few trees dotted the landscape.

Outside, in the corridor, the floor did not move behind me, and the paintings didn’t move when I passed them either.

Something heavy hung upon the air. Some weighty emotion that wouldn’t have had substance in the real world but here it seemed to flourish on the strange magic that fed this place. It became something real and substantial and it scared me. I could taste it on my tongue.

I walked for a bit in growing trepidation. I finally opened a door at random and came upon a solid bricked wall. Obviously I was meant to go elsewhere. Every door after that was like that until I came upon what must’ve been my tenth door. It opened on to an airy dining room, completely unlike last night’s. Double glass doors opened up onto a patio casting bright light on the polished marble underfoot and comfortable couches in ice cream hues lent an air of informality. There was no dining table and chairs only a coffee table bedecked with a luxurious breakfast.

I sat down and crumpled a piece of my dress into my hands as I waited. I was the only person in the room and I found it impolite to eat unless my host was there.
Wait…Why should I wait? I’m their prisoner; I’ll impose myself upon them and make a nuisance of myself as much as possible until they send me back.

So lifted up a heavy silver pot and lifting the lid caught the whiff of strong black berry tea. I poured myself a cup and was just adding a sugar cube when my host stormed in. I had placed myself in such a way that I could see anyone come through the door and I clearly saw him come in in a rage, his features livid showing traces of the monster I had first glimpsed my first night. I looked down and pretended not to have seen and when he sat down across from me he was composed and was wearing a tight smile.

My grandmother’s hospitality training kicked in and I automatically held up two pots, one of coffee and the other of tea. He nodded at the coffee pot and indicated two sugars with his fingers and then looked away from me.

Coffee in hand he finally looked me full in the face and I self-consciously tucked my bare feet out of view. He looked pointedly at my cup of tea.

“You’ll stay another night if you drink that,” he said quickly beneath his breath and then his jaw went taut and he looked away, revealing red welts along his neck. His act of generosity spurred my into a similar mood and I was suddenly standing in front of him pressing a wetted napkin to his neck.

He winced and I took a step back. “I…I have no idea why I did that. I’m sorry,” I stumbled out and sat down looked down at my hands in shock. He gasped and I looked up at him. His hands were at his throat and when they fell away his skin was smooth and not even a tinge of red remained.

“I can see why you want to keep her,” he muttered barely loud enough for me to hear.

“I want to go home,” I blurted out in a rush. “Something serious may happen to Max; he wasn’t even clear of his fever when I last saw him.”

“Stop interfering!” my host roared getting to his feet. This sudden change in emotion shocked me and I stood up as well angry myself.

“What does everyone mean by that!? I’ve done nothing wrong!”

“That’s just it. You’ve still done something and humans aren’t supposed to! That’s what we call humans who can change events in our world, who can change our plans, who can change us: interfering!”

“What does Max have to do with it?!” In a sudden burst of courage I stepped closer to him and looked straight into his shadowed eyes.

He seemed to deflate. “After all the hints we’ve given, you still don’t know?” In a very human like gesture he placed the flat of his palm to his forehead and gave an exasperated sigh.

“Just be straight with me…please. I’ve been bewildered for days. I have no idea what’s wanted from me.” I turned around hiding my tears of frustration.

“I see you couldn't hold your tongue after all,” a chillingly familiar voice purred.