Torn Fragility

The sun is in your eyes
The sun is in your ears
I hope you see the sun
Someday in the darkness ~ Stray child



I was not needed at the theatre unless I had to help fix or repaint something yet I found myself standing backstage watching the preparations for that night’s performance. It was late afternoon and Erica and the other actors were being given a prep talk by the director and I was looking on as the sound and light technicians scurried here and there across the stage. But I did not really see them.

Looking for you…

“Rose, Rose…” I pulled myself out of my thoughts and looked up into Hugo’s brown green eyes. He grinned and said, “Almost thought you were a ghost when I saw you standing back here. Don’t you have the next couple of days off?”

Behind him, Thomas glanced at me and looked away quickly. I smiled wanly, “Just wanted to see how you guys were coping.”

Hugo laughed and folding his arms he turned his head to look behind him. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.” Thomas nodded curtly and went back on stage, carrying a cardboard box.

“I should probably go; I haven’t had breakfast yet,” I said quickly while Hugo was still looking away. The look Thomas had given me had been cold and disappointed.

“Wait!” Hugo said, grabbing my arm to stop me. He let go as if I had burned him. “Sorry, sorry. Err…I just wanted to ask if you want to get something to eat with me after the show tonight. You’re coming to watch aren’t you?”

Despite last night’s scare my heart was pounding excitedly and I felt my cheeks heat up. I nodded dumbly even though I had no intention of watching the show; I hadn’t even bought tickets.

Hugo smiled broadly. “See you tonight then! I have to go; Thomas probably only bought me a few free minutes.”

I waved at his retreating back.

“You’ll only get him hurt,” a voice said from my left. Startled I turned to look as Thomas emerged from the shadows of an old backdrop. How had I not sensed him?

“Being drawn into their world forces you to learn a few of their…tricks,” he carried on, his expression nonchalant. His eyes shifted colour…or was I just imagining things? “Hugo is my best friend, my first real human friend. I won’t let him involve himself in your life, the kind of life I barely escaped from with my sanity. What if you can’t escape like I did? And you leave him behind, broken hearted?”

I scoffed, something I rarely did. “Heart broken? It will never progress to that; no one could ever love me.” My expression hardened. “And I’m not stupid enough to involve others. We’re just going to have something to eat as friends and that’s it.”

Thomas grabbed my arm and pulled me into a storage room, closing the door behind him. He relaxed visibly. “You’re still human enough to care at least.”

Puzzled I asked, “What do you mean, “still human”…?”

Thomas looked at me for what seemed like hours before he paled suddenly, “How long has this been going on?”

I knew what he meant and whispered hesitantly, “About a year and a half. She’s pulled me into a game where another person is the prize.”

“You’re the prize,” Thomas said and swept his chin length long brown hair out of his face, his expression neutral. “This is as much as I’m ever going to help you; being with you is like having a massive glowing sign over our heads saying, ‘Here they are!’ Withdraw from the game if you can, it starts off as a game but there’s always a serious hidden agenda with them. If you can’t, make a deal of some kind. If that also doesn’t work…destroy your talent.”

“How do I do that?” But then it slowly dawned on me what I would have to do if this ‘game’ progressed to that. “What did you do to escape?”

There was a tensed silence that seemed to suffocate me before he spoke, “It progressed much, much further than that. And the prize was my life.” Thomas sighed. “Hugo really likes you but I want him to be with a normal girl.”

With that he spun around and walked out, slamming the door shut behind him. How dare they! How dare everyone interfere in my life!? And when they see I’m drowning, looking for a lifeline they throw me a frayed rope, one that’ll snap as soon as I begin to pull upon it for help.

I felt the familiar sensation of my throat tightening up. I bit my lip and pushed the tears back but one snaked down my hot cheek and glittered on its journey to the floor.

I need to see Talia again before Max finds me. I don’t know why but I felt that if Max found me…something big and irreversible would take place and I felt that the dreams would also come back. And the closer he came the more likely they would; last night’s nightmare was a good example.

A few minutes later I was out of the theatre, walking in the opposite direction I would usually take towards the parking area. I needed to clear my head and just escape for a while.

My life? The prize was my life? What worth would my life have for a supernatural creature from another world? If I could figure that out I could devise ways how to escape from the maze that was Talia’s game. I stuck my hands into my kangaroo pockets and played with my car key, it’s familiar weight comfortingly solid in my clammy palms.

Just to think, that this time last year I was still stressing about finding my final exams, about my image and who my friends were. Now I only have a few friends but I don’t want them getting too close in case they become hurt.

I’m really pathetic.

I winced, feeling a slight headache coming on. My vision blurred for a few moments and when I finally focused my eyes back on the ground I found myself looking down at a small dark haired boy, playing with a tiny metal car. I looked around me seeing nothing but the stretching grey road on my right and a community sports field on my left. There were no houses nearby, at least for another kilometre nor were there any shopping centres or the like in the close vicinity.

I bent down and addressed the boy, concern laced into my voice. “Where’s your mother? It’s dangerous to be playing out here all alone.”

The boy looked up and I fell backwards onto my backside in fright. His eyes were large and as black as the sky on an overcast night. He was probably seven or eight and his old fashioned clothes, those people used to wear in the nineties, clearly told me what I didn’t want to know.

“I can’t find my mother,” the boy sniffed and I realised that he was crying. Uncomfortable I shifted around trying to decide what to do. Maybe this was just a random boy happening to wear such out-dated clothing.

I stood up, wiping the seat of my pants. “Where do you live? I’ll take you there or I could phone your mother and have her pick you up.” The boy nodded and grabbed onto my outreached hand with grubby warm fingers.

“What’s your mother’s number? Or maybe you can just give me your home phone number?” I asked as we carried on walking. The boy shook his head fervently. He didn’t know.

“I won’t be able to call my mother from another world, silly,” he told me looking up and grinning.

“Another world?” I asked stopping dead still. “What do you mean by that?” The hot sun on my neck suddenly seemed much cooler.

The boy sighed as if I was the youngster. “This happens to me a lot miss. I go to bed and wake up in another place. This is the fourth time. And I always see you but this is the first time I’m talking to you.”

“Maybe you’re dreaming,” I told him, forcing a laugh. “Maybe you’re dreaming right now and if you wake up, you’ll be safe in bed and I’ll just be a figment…a part of your imagination.”

The boy smiled, suddenly shy. “I always thought you looked like a nice lady and you are. Will you keep the nightmares away? There’s another lady in my other dreams and she’s not nice at all.”

My grip tightened on the tiny hand in my own. “I’ll keep her away. You come tell me if she’s bothering you okay?”

The boy nodded and suddenly hugged me. I looked down at his thick dark curls as they slowly began to fade and I was left standing on the sidewalk, with my arms hanging limply at my sides. I held up my one hand and looked down at the tiny red metal car in the centre of my palm.