Three: Alive


I could see.

Only pale white, blurring to grey and black at the edges, through my eyelashes, but I could see.

My chest felt like someone was standing on it.

My wrists throbbed and stung.

I could feel my heart thumping in my chest, fighting against my sluggish breathing. I felt like I was going to explode.

All I could hear were the beeps, the hums, and the murmurs of hospital machinery.

And then softly, “I think she’s awake...”

“Oh, thank god...”

The first voice was male, the second female, both American.

I try to sit up but I can’t. I have no energy.

I feel tears prick at my eyes. I want to scream, scream the word ‘no’ until I have no breath or saliva left to form the words but I can’t.

I’m alive.