Five: Eyes

I have been out of hospital for a month. I have to go to therapy sessions and I am living with Tina, something I don’t mind but it isn’t something I particuarly want.

Tina is a nice woman but, since my attempted suicide, she’s been very watchful over me, like a mother with a child near a busy road.

One night, she comes home from work. She looks very serious as usual. I’m in the spare room, reading, and she panics about my whereabouts, and I find her bursting into my room panicking.

“Oh. You’re here.” Her voice is filled with obvious relief.

“Yes. I’m just reading.”

Tina sits on the edge of my bed. “I want to talk to you.”

I nod and turn the page in my book. One of her hands rests on the front of it and slides it out of my loose grip. “Look at me?” she requests. “I never get to see your eyes anymore.”

I reluctantly move my eyes upwards until my eyes are locked on hers – pale blue on deep brown.

“Yes?” I say, and I know my voice sounds slightly rude.

“My Chemical Romance got in touch with me today,” she explains. “They’ve kept in touch. They’re very curious about how you’ve done, and apologise for using someone else in the video they wanted you to do. But they also want to meet you.”

I sigh slightly. “And I guess you’ve arranged it?”

Tina hesitates slightly. “Well, no, not as such; I, however, bought tickets for a show tonight. It’s just a small show in a club nearby. I thought…I thought we could go together.” She looks at her knees, a blush creeping up her face. “I thought, it would be good for you to get out a bit more, get back into the world. You can’t lock yourself up in here.”

I consider this. “Maybe not.”

“Is that a yes, or a no?”

I’m still considering.

“If you want to you can meet the band, it’s not nesecary,” Tina says quickly, guessing this is the only reason for my hesitation.

“I suppose, I’ll come tonight.”

Tina smiles at me.

“It starts at nine,” she tells me. “You can start to get ready whenever you want.”

I nod silently and pull my book away from her and continue to read. She lets out a soft sigh but says nothing and exits the room.