Soft Steps

I found myself in the pastors getting Spirit into the barn carefully before nightfall. Spirit stood in his stall as I shut the gate gently. He nudged my hand and drew his face closer to mine wanting my attention.

“Even the wildest of spirits need to feel loved,” I whisper patting his face tenderly a sad smile on my face. Spirit neighed in response and I let out a soft chuckle. I moved from Spirit and went to turn on the record player to let a light slow tune fill the air. Once the record began playing I started closing the top shutters of the barn that are beyond anyone’s reach because a storm was to come that night. My hips swayed to the beat of the music as I continued to do the work.

Papa Leon had created a nice little system of ropes a log and a heavy potato sack filled with sand to shut the top window. I hummed as I untied the rope that held the contraption in place then let the ropes go so that the large sack of sand flung back into place. When I heard the sack collide with something other than the wall and a grunt behind me I turned around immediately to see I had hit someone with the sack. The person lied on their back and I rushed to their side kneeling down to see it was Lieutenant Aldo Raine.

“I didn’t know you were in here, are you okay Lieutenant Raine?” I question as I placed my small hand at the side of his face feeling a little bad for hitting him. He looked up at me with his blue eyes making my heartbeat sputter like an old engine in a car.
“Just knocked the wind outta me Miss Cotillard, call me Aldo no need for formalities,” he breathes out trying to catch his breath.
“A bit of a contradiction when you call me Miss Cotillard, Aldo,” I say with a soft smile as he sat up from the ground.
“I suppose you’re right,” Aldo replies with a small smirk. I got back onto my feet and held my hand out to Aldo to take. Surprisingly he accepted my offer and I helped him up.
“You can call me Sol, it’s only fair after you took a hard hit like that,” I finally say brushing off the dirt of my skirt.
“I reckon it’s happened to you before?” he asks.
“I won’t mention it if you don’t,” I reply almost teasingly as I arranged some tools on a nearby shelf.
“Fair deal, may I ask ya a question?” Aldo responds.
“I suppose,” I say slowly as I continued to arrange things with my back to him.
“Why’d yall come here to France when ya know there’s a war goin’ on,” he says. I found myself gripping the edges of the shelf trying to steady my emotions.
“I find that racism has no borders, and to be honest this is as good as it will ever get for me,” I finally say.
“So you’d rather be in Nazi territory than to be safe in America,” Aldo retorts.
“I’ll have you know that America isn’t as safe as you’d think it is, its full of racism and cruelty, but no one fucking acknowledges it,” I counter rather angrily.
“What happened to ya to make ya so against livin’ in America?” he replies.
“How is that remotely any of your business?” I retort fiercely as I turned around giving him an intense look of aggravation.
“I’m just sayin’ a pretty face like yers you’d think things would be alright wit’ ya,” Aldo argues.
“I’m sure there are Jewish women with pretty faces but you don’t see them very happy now do you?” I say vehemently.
“Yer life ain’t as bad as the Jews ya hear me?” he counters not backing down.
“I was making a point you idiot,” I state looking up at him with narrowed eyes standing only a foot away from him.
“Well make a better one,” Aldo squabbles.

“Look at you judging me; what makes you think I should even try to justify my move to France to you? Because I’ll tell you right now, you and your little crew are just intruding on my property using your guns to coax me into letting you stay!”
“Coax? You didn’t even have a choice we outnumber you!” he retorts.
“If it were just me I would have shot you without a second thought but I have Lucy and Brandon to worry about so I didn’t though I was quite tempted to do so especially after the way you treated Lucy,” I snarl.

“How I treated her? I could have killed her.”
“You probably would have you damn bastard, if I hadn’t come like I had you probably would have!”
“What is yer problem huh? I came out here wonderin’ if yew needed some help and I ask one damn question then it turns to this,” Aldo argues back.
“Why the hell do you feel the need to ask questions to someone you aren’t going to see again?”

That shut his mouth, and he looked at the ground obviously asking the question to himself all over again. It was obvious he wasn’t one to ask complete strangers questions when he knew he wasn’t really going to stay long. I felt guilty for my hostility realizing that perhaps these men have been out without there families for a long time, with no comfort of having anyone else besides themselves to talk about America or home.

No one said a word and I let out a sigh feeling bad for scaring Spirit so I walked over to his stall to calm him down. I looked at the skittish horse with sympathetic eyes and tried to reassure him that everything was alright.

“I’m sorry, I just have bad memories about home, terrible memories,” I say as I pet Spirit tenderly.
“Everyone’s got those, no reason to go runnin’ off to Nazi occupied France,” he states seriously.
“My mother and I were attacked by a bunch of racist men; I had to watch as they raped my mother and shoot her in the head. When I finally got out of the hospital I moved to the city only to work as a Taxi Girl to pay for some rundown one bedroom apartment that Lucy, Brandon and I had to live in. This place is as your Sergeant Donowitz says is a fucking haven.”

Aldo was quiet for a very long time processing the information. It was a lot to take in all at once. Hell saying it out loud was a lot to take in. But I just continued to stroke Spirit’s face lovingly letting his calm rub off on me. I let myself come to terms with my life.

“Ya sure know how to make me look like an idiot,” Aldo finally says.
“I don’t think you need my help with that Aldo,” I state patting the side of Spirit’s face tenderly.
“Does it have a name?” he asks as he came closer to the stall.
“Spirit and I wouldn’t get any closer he’s not big on socializing with humans,” I warn seeing Aldo in my peripheral vision.
“Doesn’t seem too bad,” Aldo states as I gawked at him seeing Spirit actually let Aldo pat his head without nipping at him or going crazy.
“He’s never this accepting,” I comment glancing at Aldo at the corner of my eye every once in a while.
“They catch those bastards that hurt you and yer momma?” Aldo inquires.
“Justice is in the hands of the victim but even when I reported the incident no one did anything and as much as I wanted to kill them I promised Martin I wouldn’t put myself in harm’s way,” I answer.
“Martin yer husband?” he asks causing me to let out a soft chuckle at his question.
“No, Martin is my brother,” I reply.
“Where is yer brother now?” Aldo responds looking at me curiously.
“Last I heard he was in Germany fighting, but I haven’t gotten a letter from him in a little while,” I say with a sigh.
“I’m sure he’s alright,” he says somewhat uncomfortably.
“You don’t have to do that,” I state.
“Do what?” Aldo counters looking at me intently.
“Reassure me that he is alright,” I reply turning my head slightly to face him. My breathing hitched a bit looking into his deep blue eyes.

“Yer tougher than ya think,” he states sincerely.
“Instinctive,” I correct with a soft smile.
“All right,” Aldo smiles looking somewhat normal no longer was jutting his jaw in the strangely pretentious manner. His genuine smile gave me warmth like drinking whiskey on a winter’s night, I could imagine getting drunk off his smiling but I could tell it was something rare.

“Would like some whiskey?” I found myself asking Aldo. All the whiskey metaphors made me crave for the real thing and I figured it would be polite if I offered some if I were to break out the bottle.

“Ya have some?” he replies looking at me.
“It’s a must have,” I respond as I moved over to the stand and opened the drawer to grab the bottle of half empty bottle of whiskey.
“Not many women drink whiskey,” Aldo comments.

“It’s an acquired taste, but I like my liquor strong,” I say lifting the large bottle out of the drawer. Being polite I unraveled the glass that was a little bigger than a shot glass from the cloth then filled it with some whiskey handing it to Aldo. Aldo took the glass from my hand, our hands touching briefly causing my heart to flutter momentarily.

“Aren’t ya gonna have some?” he asks looking at me questioningly. I took a swig of the whiskey straight from the bottle.
“Does that answer your question,” I answer giving him a glance.
“Yer definitely not like most women,” Aldo says taking a drink of the whiskey.
“Why because I drink whiskey?” I counter somewhat playfully.
“That an’ the fact ya tried to save Lucy even if ya were clearly outnumbered,” he states pointedly.
“I still can’t believe I did that,” I reply shaking my head.
“Purty brave of ya,” Aldo responds.
“Desperate and unhinged seems more suiting,” I say taking another drink of the whiskey.
“Nah you were just trying to protect yer friend,” he says. It was quiet for a bit until I broke the silence.

“Got any family back home to worry about ya,” I inquire for some strange reason.
“My parents and a younger brother are back in Tennessee,” Aldo answers.
“Surprised you don’t have a nice wife to worry about you,” I say but I had meant for it to only be thought to myself.
“I was married once but got a divorce,” he states making a displeased face.

“Sorry I shouldn’t have said that,” I ramble mildly ashamed for bringing up the subject.
“Nah it’s alright, yew ever been married?”
“No, I’m not seen as the marrying type.”
“Why’s that?” Aldo responds.
“Because apparently to most men I look better as the other woman, since somehow I’m considered exotic,” I state with a slight chuckle then continued, “Its for the best though if I have people think I’m too exotic for proper marriage I think it was a good thing I moved. Ignorance can be quite stifling sometimes.”
“Weren’t yew born in the States?”
“Good ol’ Louisiana to be exact,” I smile.
“So yer a Southerner like me?” he smiles.
“More or less, my father found it much easier to adjust to life in the States because a lot of people spoke French there but when he got a good paying job we had to move up to New York.”

“What sort of job did he get?”
“He was an architect, they hired him for some main buildings in the city,” I answer quite proudly, “Then the war came and he was drafted just before they finished one of the last buildings.”
“That’s too bad he didn’t see it finished.”
“He was funny, he made me take pictures of the development and send them overseas so he could see the progress. I think he just wanted to keep me busy because him and Martin weren’t home.”

“How’d yew get this place?” Aldo asks.
“My grandfather passed away and I inherited it from him,” I respond as I began giving Spirit more attention again.

I don’t know why I felt comfortable enough to talk to this stranger like I was. It was strange, but it felt right talking to him. My fingertips lightly grazed Spirit and the usually wild horse relaxed under my touch causing a smile to flutter onto my lips.

“Sorry about yew losin’ them,” I heard him say sincerely. It caused me to turn around and look at Aldo inquisitively. My back was to Spirit now and I stood on a slight hill consisting of dirt. Without warning Spirit’s nose nudged me rather roughly causing me to lose balance and fall forward into Aldo’s chest. Aldo caught me in his arms and my hands rest on his chest; I looked up at him somewhat embarrassed and chuckled nervously. My heart was beating erratically as Aldo looked deeply into my eyes his hands still resting around my waist comfortably. I was incredibly nervous and I broke eye contact focusing on the piece of hay stuck in his hair.

“You have something in your hair,” I managed to say as I reached up and pulled the golden piece of straw from his light brown hair. I smiled softly and showed the piece to him.
“I can feel yer heartbeat at yer finger tips,” he says as one of his hands brushed against my hand to take the piece of straw. Aldo’s hand grazed my fingertips obviously fascinated and I snatched my hand back.
“I should go check on dinner,” I murmur as I broke away from him then hurried towards the house without another word.

I didn’t like how he made me felt, it was like falling off a cliff except I didn’t hit the floor so the anticipation made me go insane. My short legs hurried into the house and I decided to transfer my frustrations to my cooking. Washing my hands I began cutting the loaf of bread into pieces to be served with the large batch of stew. I felt Lucy’s stare on me but I tried my hardest to ignore it.

“Sol you’re doing the whole frantic cooking thing, are you okay?” she asks.
“Just dandy, Luc, want to get this done so I can go to bed,” I lie.
“If you’re tired Sol, I can take care of this.”
“Don’t be ridiculous Lucy, you’re handicapped besides I like cooking.”
“It worries me when you cut this fast though, it may be the whole left handed thing but I feel like you’re going to cut your hand off,” Lucy replies.

I turned around giving a hearty chuckle and looked at Lucy with a smile. That was a common comment with people who would watch me cut things because I suppose left handed people look strange cutting with knives. Lucy smiled back and little Brandon ran up to me holding his hand out for a piece of bread.

“Yum!” he says in a demanding manner as his hand jutted higher into the air waiting for me to give him his treat. I could not deny the little angel of the piece of bread and handed it to him earning a good scolding from Lucy.
“Sol don’t give him bread it’ll spoil his appetite!”
“Nonsense,” I counter then look at Brandon, “You’re going to eat tons of food aren’t you Brandon?”
“Mhmm! Yum!” he smiles with a mouth full of bread making his already chubby cheeks look bigger.

Lucy shook her head a smile now gracing her face. Our little happy family moment did not last though; it was interrupted by the men staying in our home. Guns now pointed at our heads and I gripped the kitchen knife glaring back at them.

“Are you two Nazi lovers?” Private Hirschberg questions fiercely.
“N-no,” Lucy stutters out holding Brandon protectively.

“Then what in the hell is this?!” Aldo demands holding a Nazi arm band in his hand.

“Thought that was obvious,” I answer narrowing my eyes at him defiantly. The fact that I was being accused of such an atrocious thing by him made me sick.

“Sol don’t,” Lucy says noticing the intense anger emanating from my being.
“No, don’t tell me don’t Lucy, how dare they even accuse us, they seem to think that we have a choice if a platoon of Nazis with guns came to our house demanding to be housed. They seem to think they have a right to accuse us of enjoying something so terrible,” I rant furiously then turned to look at Aldo, “I offer you food and shelter then this is the behavior we get in return, ungrateful little cretins take that arm band and shove it up yer asses!”

I angrily stabbed the knife into the cutting board and shoved the men out of the way then went to my room. My appetite was lost and I was in no mood to socialize with those Basterds not anymore.

“She’s still recovering from the visit, they made her think about some horrible memories. Sol leaves the situation because she’ll end up hitting one of you if she doesn’t,” I heard Lucy explain.

It was pretty accurate, I was pretty close to stabbing one of them or at the very least punching one in the face. I spent my time in my room trying to calm myself by hiding myself in the closet humming a familiar song. The darkness of the closet with the door shut gave me a calming effect because it made me feel like I was all alone with no interruptions. It seemed a little while before the door opened and the light intruded on the darkness. My eyes shot open and tried to adjust to the new lighting only to see Aldo looking down at me holding a bowl of my stew. I narrowed my eyes at him then proceeded to grab the door handle to try to shut the door but he prevented me from doing so by placing his boot in the way.

“Here, yew didn’ eat dinner,” Aldo says holding the bowl out to me.
“Trying to poison me now?”
“I dunno yew tell me, yew made the stuff,” he counters.
“Shut it,” I retort taking the bowl. Aldo sat at the opening of the closet, his knees bent slightly with his hand casually resting upon them. With the smell of the stew reaching my senses, my appetite proceeded to grow back.

“Yew should eat before it gets cold,” Aldo comments.
“Don’t tempt me to throw this hot soup at your face,” I respond with mild humor.
“Then yew wouldn’ have anything to eat, because the boys purty much inhaled the rest, I just managed to save this much for ya.”

“Thanks I guess,” I mutter.

I began eating the soup silently and felt a bit odd with Aldo right there.

“I’m sorry ‘bout accusin’ ya of bein’ involved with Nazis,” Aldo says awkwardly. I swallowed what I was chewing and looked up at him. For some reason I couldn’t stay angry at him.
“Its okay, I get it,” I say with a sigh as I twirled the spoon around in the bowl absentmindedly.

“I wanna thank yew for dinner and for lettin’ us stay here for a couple days,” he says running his hand through his hair, “The boys need some rest.”
“And you?” I found myself saying. Aldo turned to look at me.
“What about me?”
“Don’ you need some rest?” I ask.
“I don’ need much rest,” he answers as he took out his box of snuff but I set down my soup to put my hand over his.
“Give that a rest so that you can actually go to sleep tonight,” I say looking into his eyes.

It was strange but Aldo listened and shut the case then put it in his pocket. I realized my hand was still touching his and I took it back quickly. He observed me looking at the spot I was sitting.

“How come yew hide in the closet?”
“I like the dark, and when the door is shut its pitch black. It’s strangely calming because it’s like nothing wrong is going on in the world,” I ramble then stop to laugh, “It’s really hard to describe.”
“Show me then,” Aldo states. I wasn’t sure what to say and I looked at him for a long time trying to assess whether or not he was serious. Deciding he was sincere I took the bowl of soup that I was done with and placed it outside of the closet then scooted further inside the closet to make room for Aldo.

“Come on in I guess,” I say awkwardly.

Aldo made his way into the closet and our shoulders touched after I closed the door and rested my back against the wall. It was pitch black in the closet and the only sound was of our steady breaths. For a while it was just silence.

“Yer right this is nice,” Aldo says.
“Pardon, I didn’t hear you, did you say I was right?” I respond in a somewhat teasing tone.
“Well someone’s gettin’ big headed,” he replies and I could almost hear the smile in his voice.
“Its not nice to talk about yerself in such a manner Aldo,” I state with a playful bump to his shoulder.
“Me? I was talkin’ about yew.”

I let out a soft chuckle.

“Are yew laughin’ at me?” Aldo questions playfully.
“Yes,” I laugh.
“I’ll give ya somethin’ to laugh about,” he states as he began to tickle my knees. Being that I was ticklish there I let out an uncontrollable giggle and squirmed in the closet trying to get away from his reach. Aldo was persistent and continued tickling me as I tried to move away. I found myself on my back lying on the ground of the closet with Aldo above me both of us somehow knowing of the level of inappropriateness that was transpiring.

Strange but I knew we were both looking at each other even in the darkness and neither of us spoke. When I felt Aldo’s presence close in on me, I couldn’t react and then his lips crashed onto mine. I know it was inappropriate for me to kiss a man when I hardly knew him not to mention have him on top of me in the dark but at that very moment I didn’t care. It wasn’t like any of the other kisses I ever received and I felt myself wrapping my arms around his neck tugging him closer to me. Time felt like it slowed and we finally broke our kiss.

“We shouldn’t be doin’ this,” I sigh bringing my hands to my face.
“Sorry,” Aldo replies getting off my body and I sat up bringing my knees to my chest.
“Don’t be, it was nice,” I say softly, “But its awful timing.”
“It is ain’t it?”
“The worst,” I respond but then I continued, “You should get your rest, you need a break.”

I took this chance to open the door and began attempting to get out of the closet but my attempts were futile for I tripped over his legs and landed on his lap. My face grew heated with embarrassment and I looked up Aldo apologetically.

“Sorry,” I murmur.
“That‘s alright,” Aldo smiles.
“So!” a little excited voice shouts. I looked away from Aldo to see little Brandon standing there and then he leapt onto my lap. “Wub you!”
“Love you too Darlin‘” I laugh hugging him as I moved us out of the closet, “Its way past your bedtime though.”
“No bedtime!”

Brandon attempted to make his getaway but I was right behind him. I proceeded to grab him and take him in my arms.

“Oh no you don‘t little chitlin, your mama may not be able to chase ya right now but I can,” I say tickling his little belly. He giggled wildly in my arms until I stopped. “Bedtime ya?”
“Yeah,” he giggles as I set him down.

“That‘s my boy,” I smile as he stuck his little hand out for me to hold. Little Brandon jutted his other hand out to Aldo expectantly and I gave Aldo a look that said humor him. Without another word Aldo took the little hand in his and we began walking towards Brandon’s room.

It was funny because I spent the next twenty minutes getting him into bed and asleep. He was an energy filled little bugger and once his eyes closed I could not help but adore his sleeping face. This child was probably the closest thing I’d get to having one of my own and I kissed his forehead lovingly before getting up from his little bed.

I felt Aldo’s stare on me and I turned on my heel to exit the room. There was something that unsettled me with what I was feeling about that man and I couldn’t trust myself to be alone with him any longer. He just had that effect on me. It made me remember what Papa Leon had told me so long ago about the greatest fall of all time. My thoughts raced thinking about all the other men I had liked in the past but none felt like this. Maybe Lucy’s brother Brandon came second but I think that was because I knew more about him yet that never worked out and I didn’t care enough to try to win him over. But with Aldo I felt like I didn’t have to try, I just had to fall.

And falling was something I couldn’t risk when there was a war going on.