Soft Steps

The wheelbarrow was heavy all by itself, but as I walked around to the back door of the house, I regretted volunteering for laundry. The giant heap of uniforms lay to the left of the base of the stairs, and I began to put all of the clothes into the wheelbarrow. I managed, but struggled, to bring the heavy wheel barrow of clothes about one-hundred yards away from the house, where a medium-sized creek ran.

After retrieving the soap bars that I had forgotten to bring, I stripped down into my nude colored slip, and white panties. The cool water was refreshing against my stickly skin as I slipped into the thigh deep waters. This meant that the water was about two feet deep. I dipped my head under the water, and brushed my thin hair back with my fingers.

The first piece of clothing I picked up was a “white” cotton t-shirt. Well, it was actually a light brown color, but with the help of my trusty bucket of bleach and the concentrated bar of soap, I was hoping that I could turn the dirty shirt back to its white state. I threw all the white items- socks, cotton shirts, and wifebeaters--into the bucket of bleach and continued with the forest green pants and jackets.

Most of the clothes were mainly filthy with dust and light dirt, which made everthing easier to get out. As I finished scrubbing each piece of clothing with the soap, I would lay it out against the green forest grass. I sat on the edge of the creek and concentrated on scrubbing one of the men’s jackets. I smiled as I remembered a song from a movie I had only seen about a year ago:

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

I heard clapping, dropped the soap and looked up to see Private Ulmer smiling. “You’re a really good singer, do you know that?” I blushed a bit and nodded my head ask I wrapped my arms around my chest, “Thank you, private,” I slipped into the water and retrieved the bar of soap. “I was told to come and check on you, Donny and Aldo are still a bit shaky about trusting you and your friend, I don’t mean about the arm band thing, just in general. They dont trust people well.”
“Well I’m just finishing up soon. Only one more jacket after this one, and then I just need to wash the clothes in the bucket.”
Private Ulmer nodded and smiled, “I’ll go report back to the cabin, just hollar if you need any help, we’re all willing to help,”
“Thank you, Private, I’ll see you in about a half-hour.”

The white clothes that I had soaked in the bucket of bleach turned back to bright white state; only the socks needed to be really scrubbed. I piled all the clothes back into the wheel barrow and jumped into the creek for a quick bathe. It wasn’t that I didnt want to bathe back at the house, but it was so much more peaceful out here. I put my pants and shirt back on and wheeled the lump of damp clothes back towards the house. I was grateful my ankle wasnt bothering me this morning.

When I came withing view of the house, Corporal Wicki came out and wheeled the clothes over to the clothes line, “Thank you, Corporal.” I said as I plugged my mouth with a clothes pin.

The clothes lines were adorned with mostly cotton white t-shrirts and socks, and I layed the jackets and pants in a separate area that received direct sunlight.

When I walked into the house, I heard Brandon’s squeal that always came before a laugh, and looked to see Sergeant Stiglitz lift Brandon in the air and whirl him around. Brandon never had a proper father as the father of my child and Brandon, my brother, were quickly whisked away into the thrill of fighting. It brought joy to my heart to see that Brandon was finally getting to experience what it felt like to interact with other people of the same sex.

I made my way into my bedroom, which would later be the bedroom of Sergeant Donowitz and Brandon. I pulled out the dress that I had brought, and held it in place over my chest as I looked in the mirror. I wanted so badly to wear it, but I knew it was inappropriate to wear it while the men were still here. “Ya should wear that tonight,” I turned and saw Sergeant Donowitz standing in the doorway.

“I shouldn’t be in here, I’m sorry,” I said quickly as I shoved the dress into it’s box and placed it into the closet.

“No, No, No, its your room, you can be in here as ya please,” He laughed and sat down on the bed.

“Well, its your room for now. Anyways, I should go finish the laundry.” I stammered, walking out.

The now dry clothes moved with the wind, and I quickly took the white clothes off the line and placed them in a basket, so they wouldn’t get the chance to fall and get dirty. After I matched the socks, I layed all of the clothes out in the grass lawn.

As I was finishing up, Private Zimmerman called me inside. I entered into the living room to see all the men standing around, and Lieutenant Raine standing at the front of the group.

“Tonight, for dinner, I’m commanding my men to put on their best clothes because we are guests in this house, and cuz we need to be gentlemen every once in a while. As for yew ladies, and Brandon, you are not required to dress up, but it would be appreciated.” I looked over at Sergeant Donowitz who was staring at me. I gave him a questioning look to which he returned with a shrug, and then walked away.

I picked up Brandon and brought him into the bathroom where I stripped him down and filled up the sink. I scrubbed the dirt off his darkened knees, and dipped his head into the water to rinse out the soap while he occupied himself with one of his toys. When I was finished I wrapped a towel around him and sent him outside so I could clean up the sink and surrounding area.

When I joined him outside I noticed that he was running around butt naked. I picked up the towel and chased him down. When I finally captured him I tied the blanket around him and placed little kisses all over his cheeks. I dressed Brandon in a red shirt and denim overalls, and sang to him while I brushed his hair.

I spun Brandon around a few times and then held him close to myself. “You mean so much to me,” I whispered. “I love you!” I squealed blowing raspberries against his neck. Brandon giggled and flinched, “Down!” He cried and when I placed him down he dashed out the door.

I walked into Solena’s room with the dress box under my arm. She was shuffling through her late grandmother’s closet, and pulled out a ivory colored knee length dress. She held it against her chest and then looked at me.
“Do I look okay?”
“You look like your grandmother, but you do look beautiful,” I commented.

“What do you have there?” Sol asked grabbing the box.

“I bought it when I was in town the other day, its the first dress I’ve owned since my holy communion.” I shrugged and slipped off my pants and shirt. “I really liked it, and thought why the hell not.”

The slip that came with the dress hugged me at my waist and I pulled on the dress as Sol zippered it from behind. I then put my black leather shoes back on my feet. “Here,” Sol said handing me a golden tube.

The red lipstick went quite well, as it was basically the same color as my dress. Sol held me at arms length and examined my appearance, and then turned around to let my tie her slip and to button up the back of her dress. I handed her the lipstick, but she instead just opted for the eye pencil and lash coater. Her already plump red lips really stood out due to the ivory color of the dress. She smiled and looked up at me, “I look okay?”
“Definitely!” I giggled and walked out towards the bathroom. I quietly tied a ribbon into my hair to keep it out of my face and then went to go find Brandon.

When I found Brandon, he was being tickled by Private Utivich. It was quite an odd sight to see what I viewed as such manly men look so innocent and vulnerable when playing with Brandon.

About an hour or so later, Sol called dinner and I ran into the kitchen to go help. I brought out the smashed potatoes and then went back into the kitchen to get the steamed carrots and broccoli. Sol was incharge of bringing in the large roasted beef. Rest in Peace, Roger. It turned out that early in the morning Roger, or at least a bull, wandered back into the area of the barn, and Sol had said that we’d have a to bull chop up for dinner tonight and tomorrow night. We figured that the soldiers deserved a very lavish meal one of the days they were staying here.

All of the men cheered when Solena brought out the roast beef and placed it at the center of the table, while I set Brandon in his highchair between me and Sergeant Donowitz. On the otherside of me sat Sergeant Stiglitz.

“Help yourself to as much as you want, there is plenty of food,” Solena announced before sitting down. All the men whooped and cheered as they dug into the meal.

I quietly and quickly ate my dinner as I supervised Brandon, to make sure he was actually eating his food. He seemed to want to be like the other men in the room, and he ate his meal in a civilized manner. He didnt play with his food too much and managed to get most of the food in his mouth.

After I finished I asked Sergeant Stiglitz and Sergeant Donowitz to keep an eye on Brandon while I went into the kitchen. I checked the pudding that had been setting since around three this afternoon. I made sure to make an extremely large bowl of pudding, as I suspected that most of the boys would’ve wanted to eat a lot of pudding. I watched Sol bring in some of the plates, so I got down an appropriate amount of bowls and got out the right amount of spoons and handed them out as Sol collected the plates. When Private Ulmer and Private Utivich tried to help me Sol sat them back down, telling them they were guests and we were honoring them for fighting for the Jews.

When all the bowls and spoons were handed out, I brought out the giant bowl of pudding. I couldn’t help but laugh as many of the men cheered at the sight of a simple desert. I first plopped a spoonful onto Brandon’s tray and then handed him his babyspoon. I then walked around serving everyone, starting with Sergeant Stiglitz and ending with Sergeant Donowitz and then finally myself.

With some assistance in the beginning, Brandon was able to also get most of the pudding in his mouth. He watched from next to him how Sergeant Donowitz ate his pudding, and Brandon mocked him.

After the bowls were taken and the men went back to their business, I took Brandon into the bathroom to get the leftover food off of his face, and to wash out his bib. When I returned to my bedroom I found Sergeant Donowitz sitting on his bed, the wooden bat in his hands.
“Sorry, I’ll just be a minute,” I apologized and quietly put Brandon in his bed clothes. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, but commanded that I put him down. He immediately picked the book that I had been reading to him and brought it inside. The book was a random one that I had found lying around. It had no pictures, but none-the-less Brandon still enjoyed being read to.

While making my way into the kitchen, I passed Utivich reading the book to Brandon who was slowly nodding off. I began the odd job of cleaning so many plates and forks. “Need help?” Asked Private Hirschberg. “Can you dry and put them away?” He nodded and grabbed a dish towel. It was a very odd feeling: cleaning more than two table settings.

Private Hirschberg had been called away by Lieutenant Raine, and gave me an apologetic look, which I had dismissed, before he left. I finished washing and drying and put the plates, bowls, and cups in their appropriate place.

After my job in the kitchen was finished, and after I wiped down the counters, and the dining table, I made my way out into the barn to tend to the animals. Me and Sol had a prior agreement, when we had moved here to split the work, but I felt that keeping myself busy was key for anything. I felt kind of guilty when I did her jobs, because I knew that it would always make her feel guilty. But I really didn’t mind doing so many jobs, because I knew that when I needed a break Sol would always pick up her jobs and some of mine.

The sun was close to setting, and would probably set by the next two hours. I added some extra hay to the horse’s stable, and walked over to the new set of piglets that had been born about a day ago. I picked the runt of the litter up and petted his small back and whispered encouraging words to him.

“One day, when theres a country fair, you’re gonna make all your brothers and sisters jealous by being the best looking pig there. And I promise we won’t let them eat you! Are you getting enough milk?” I set the small piglet down and watched as he crawled and sucked on one his mother’s nipples. I pulled two of the five total piglets out so I could let the little runt get some milk. After a good twenty minutes, I put the two pigs back down and continued with my work.

The food was in the pig’s stable, and the cow’s stable, and I retrieved some hay to put in the cow’s stable.

“Need any help?”

I slipped and thankfully landed in the fresh hay I had just put down.

“Did I scare ya?”

I looked up to see Sergeant Donowitz looking over the stable door, he was smiling. “A bit,” I admitted. He opened up the door and helped me stand up. I brushed off the hay that was on me, as he picked a few pieces out of my hair.

After I finished brushing myself off, I stood there awkwardly, as Sergeant Donowitz was blocking my way out of the stable.

“So do ya need any help?” He asked looking down at me. “Oh, well, no, Sergeant Donowitz, I was just doing some final things before heading back inside.”

“There’s nothing ya’ need? Any jobs that ya don’t do that often? I can do that for you.” After some thinking, I came up with one idea.

“You can brush down the horse, I usually do it every other day, but I didnt do it today or yesterday. The stuff is over in that bucket way up there, and then the water pump is out behind the back of the barn.”

Sergeant Donowitz walked over the shelf where the bucket was and picked it off the shelf with ease. My cheeks turned a bit pink, and I turned to go back to the piglets. I picked up the little runt and made him a bottle.

“Ya’ looked very nice in your dress tonight,” Seargent Donowitz said, brushing down the horse.

“Thank you,” I whispered, blushing again. “Ya’ Welcome,” He said, and even though I wasn’t looking I could tell he was smiling.

I finished feeding the piglet the bottle and I set him down to curl up with his fat mother, and 4 brothers and sisters. I needed to make sure the baby was getting enough food. I sat quietly on a makeshift bench and watched Sergeant Donowitz finish up with brushing the horse. “Done,” He announced, putting the bucket and brush on a lower shelf.

Together we walked back into the house where I found Brandon sleeping on the couch. I held a finger up to my mouth and picked up the sleeping angel, only to walk into Sergeant Donowitz’s room to place Brandon in his crib.

“Goodnight,” I whispered as I kissed Brandon on his forehead, and then pulled his favorite blanket up to his neck.

I turned and looked at Sergeant Donowitz, “Goodnight,”

“Goodnight,” He whispered.

My steps were soft as I exited the bedroom and headed towards the entrance way of the house. There were plenty of extra blankets and pillows stored in the closet, as the closet held the function of storing pillows and blankets. I made the couch into a bed, the nearby chair into a bed, and then made beds on the floor.

Solena would be staying in what was her grandmothers room while two other soldiers slept in her grandfathers bedroom. I knew that her grandparents didnt sleep together, but that was because they liked different types of mattresses and different types of blankets. They were, however, stil very much in love up until the death of her grandmother.
Then the last bedroom would most likely hold Lieutenant Raine, and one other. Sol’ room was small with a cot, her grandfather’s had a full size mattresses, while the last two rooms had two cots, and then one cot. I usually slept in the bedroom where there was one cot.

The last pillow was set down and I had taken the extra pillow and two blankets out to the barnyard. Sol and I had a private conversation that I would be spending the night in the barn. I was the least bit upset. If anything, I was almost excited. It would mean I could spend time with the newborns and not waste time that could’ve been used doing work.

I made another bottle for the runt and picked him up in a freshly cleaned dish towel. I cuddled him close to my body and petted the tiny pig’s head. I gave him the bottle but he didn’t seem to interested. My favorite part of this newborn pig was that he had spots. Spots were my favorite type of pattern. That was precisely why I had gotten my new dress with red polka dots. I like dots. They were so...appealing.

The tiny pig grunted a bit and I cradled him in my arms, just like I had done when I held my baby boy for the first time. Pigs were born with eyes open and when I looked down at the pig, I noticed that he had made eye contact with me. I smiled and nustled my nose against his snout. I loved infants for that they were always so innocent. They couldn’t do anything bad.

After adding more hay to the pig’s stable, I quietly placed the baby pig into the hay, next to his mother. I petted the other four piglets; two were pink, one had a large brown spot on his back and the last had a brown belly. Of course, my favorite piglet had little spots all over his body, my favorite spot being the one that covered his left eye. I hoisted myself up on the edge of the stable door and looked down at the piglets who were nesting themselves against the fat belly of their mother.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake-up where the clouds are far...

I heard the barn door creak and looked to see a menacing shadow, holding a gun. I screamed and fell backwards to avoid being shot at.

“Fuck!”

I cleared hay from my eyes and face and looked up to see Sergeant Donowitz standing, and towering over me.

“Sergeant Donowitz, you cannot sneakup on a girl like that! Especially when she is housing American Soldiers in Nazi territory! I could’ve hit my head!”

“The last person I expected to be in this barn at this time would be you! What the fuc-frick are you doing out here!?”
I shrugged sheepishly not wanting to tell him my answer and apologized.
He cracked a small smile and helped me back onto my feet.

“How’s your ankle?”
“Better, thank you for asking.” I rolled my ankle to show him that it was back to normal. “It still hurts a little bit. I think I pulled a muscle.”

“What are you doing out here?” He asked as he sat down in the hay.

“I was just tending to the pigs. The sow just delivered a day ago. She has four nipples and five piglets. I’m just trying to keep the runt alive untill he can survive on his own.”

Sergeant Donowitz nodded and pointed to the smallest pig, “That the one?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Can I hold him?” I handed Sergeant Donowitz the piglet and he held him in his large hands.

“Sergeant Donowitz, can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot,”

“Why do you carry that bat?”

“Well, the other boys shoot Nazi, I beat ‘em with this bat.”

He handed the handle of the bat to me, but I pushed the bat back in his direction. “Thank you, Sergeant Donowitz, but I’d like to keep my hands blood free from now on.”

Sergeant Donowitz looked at me oddly but shook his head. A few quiet minutes passed at Seargent Donowitz petted the pig. It was quite the odd sight. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, Seargent Donowitz.”

“Why do you call me that?”

“Call you what?”

“Sergeant Donowitz,”

“Is that not your name?” I laughed a bit at the stupidity of his question.

“You don’t need to call me that.” I looked down at him, as I was standing, and laughed.

“Sergeant Donowitz, you have a title. Plus, what else would I call you? Do you not call someone by their proper name?”

“Well, I want you to call me Donny. Donny’s the name. Donny Donowitz.” He said sticking his hand out.

“Lucy-Carol’s the name, but even my parents called me Lucy.” I smiled as I shook his hand. “And, sorry about slapping you before.”

Sergeant Donowitz-Donny shrugged, “It was understandable, Sorry about threatening your life before, you can’t really trust anyone here. English-speaking or not.”

“I understand why you felt threatened, Sergeant Donowitz.”

He gave me a stern look, “Donny”

“Donny,” I repeated.

My ears perked up at the sounds of Brandon’s cry. I dashed out of the barn without a word to Donny and ran inside. I picked up my crying angel, and cradled him as I brought him outside.

“Is he okay?” Donny asked as I met him on the back steppes. It was odd to see worry lines cross his forehead.

“I think he just had a bad dream, he usually just sleeps therough the night, but when he wakes, its often for a bad dream.” I set Brandon down on his feet and watched as he ran around the darkened garden.

Donny looked up at the sound of rushing water. “He’s just playing with the pump,” I shrugged. “He’ll push it once, get wet and then be done with that.”

I heard Brandon yelp and Sergeant Donny stood up. But when he noticed that I didn’t flinch, he sat back down.

“Can I ask you something, Lucy?”

“Ask away, Sergeant...Donny.” Donny laughed and picked up Brandon when he walked over to him.

“Do you know where your husband is stationed?”

“Husband?”

“Well, you have a kid and its just you and Solena, so I suspected that well…”

I shook my head, “Well...no, I dont have a husband. I had a boyfriend and he just...well...he was going to war, and well...it was only once.” I felt the heat rise into my cheeks.

“Supporting the war effort?” He laughed.

My cheeks grew hotter and I placed my hands over my face, “Please stop.” I laughed lightly.

“Can you support my war effort?” I looked up at Donny who was smiling.

“I’d say yes, but I have no more brothers to name my sons after.” 

“Creative.” He said, snapping a cluster of twigs. The sight made me shudder, imagining what Donny could do to someone’s bones using the visible strength in Donny’s upper arms. “You know, it’s very odd, you seem so overprotective, and yet so calm at certain times with him.”

I pushed the thought aside shrugged, “Well, there are certain things that I’m used to him doing, other things he does to get attention, and then theres the new things. I try to let him be independent. I’m really not that overprotective.”

“But you always seem to be carrying him.” I shrugged again.

“I think I’m hoping that by carrying him, he will stay this age forever. He doesn’t know about the war, and I don’t want him too. In his eye’s we’re all equal. There is no Jew, or German, or Pole. We’re all just creatures.” Donny smilied and nodded. The silence that stood was nice, and I rested my head against his arm. I wasnt too sure why I did. Maybe it was because I was so exhausted. Maybe the action comforted me in a way Brandon, and Sol couldn’t.

Donny picked up Brandon when he walked over and placed his arms out, “I’m tired.” He whined.

I followed Donny into his bedroom as he placed Brandon down in his bed, the little boy already asleep. “Goodnight, Donny.” I said walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?” He whispered.

“To finish up some chores. Theres the dishes, and the pigs.”

“What? You’re not going to sleep?”

I shook my head.

“Where are you planning on sleeping after you finish everything?”

I shrugged, “The barn? Someone responsible needs to keep an eye on the newborns.”

“The Barn? That’s no place for a woman to sleep.” He stated as he crossed his arms over his chest. I knew he was doing it to look assertive. “Take your bed back, i’ll just go pass out on Ulmer or something. Stay here with your son. You’re being ludicrous Lucy.”

I skipped over to the door and placed my finger on the light switch.

“Nope.” I laughed, popping the P.

“Lucy,” He warned.

I giggled, and purposely spun around dramatically on my way to the door to let my dress sprawl out. I didn’t understand why I was acting like this.

“I’m supporting the war effort.”

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I placed the extremely large bowl of scrambled eggs in the middle of the table and inserted three spoons so the boys could help myself. I placed Brandon’s plate and fork infront of him and walked towards the front door as I heard a knock from the other side.

“Be cautious!” Private Ulmer said standing up.

I waved a hand and looked through the peephole to see an American Uniform. Sol and I had decided that we would become sort of a free bed and breakfast type of thing for American Soliders who needed help or a place to rest.

“Can I help you, sir?” I asked politely opening the door.

“Hi Luce,” Was the last thing I remember before my head hit the floor.

Lucy’s Dress: http://www.dollydagger.co.uk/proddetail.asp?prod=TSDRS7REDWHTPLKA&cat=18)

Sol’s Dress: http://www.momist.com/blog/uploaded_images/Chloe%20Silk%20pleated%20dress-786942.jpg