Message in a Bottle

Chapter Ten
“And who should you thank?” Emily asked, pointing at herself with her thumbs.
“Uh, not you. Carter and I got along just well without your blabber-mouth.”
“Just give me a little credit, gosh.”
“Okay, fine. Thank you, Emily,” I laughed, throwing my arms around her.
“And look at you! You’re already much happier with a boyfriend. I told you boyfriend’s complete a girl’s life. I mean, your hair is fixed, your skin is glowing, you aren’t wearing a sweater and a pair of jeans, you actually give me a hug!” she fluttered her eyelashes, wiping a fake tear of joy from her eyes dramatically. “My Morgan is back!” She leaned toward me, her arms outstretched.
“Okay, that’s enough hugging for one day,” I said, leaning away.
She frowned.
“I just feel so much happier, Emily. It’s like when I’m with him all the troubles in my life just go away. There’s so much I can say about him that I have no idea how to make into words. He’s just different from a lot of guys.”
“Obviously. I mean, you let him in. You never let anyone in because you’re a damsel in distress with a heart made of stone!”
“No, I just don’t like feeling vulnerable but with Carter… I don’t have to feel that way because he just doesn’t seem like the type that would let me down, you know?”
“One minor problem… he lives in Boston and you live in North Carolina. If you two do decide to continue this after he leaves on Saturday can you handle a long-distance relationship?”
“I’m not really going to think about that right now, Emily. We just started dating last night. Hardly twenty-four hours.”
“Is he not coming to visit you today?”
“No, he’s actually going out with his family. He hardly spent time with them since he got here.”
“Well, I have to go spend time with my family for dinner so I’ll see you tomorrow, Morgan.”
“Bye, Emily!”
She waved at me as she walked out the door.
I took my Grandmother’s bottle from my bedside table and smiled. “I wish you could meet Carter, Grandmother. He’s a great guy. You know like those guys you only see on those sappy romance movies and stuff? Well, he’s just like that but reality. He’s tall, tan, has blue eyes, dimples, great brown hair… he’s the whole package! When I’m with him I’m happy it’s like I’m a little girl again, the old Morgan.” I laughed. “I mean, look at me! I’ve never seen me like this since the day you died….” I smiled again, putting it on a brighter note. “I think I found my prince charming, Grandmother,” I whispered, kissing the bottle.
A loud moan sounded through the house that ended with a frenzy a coughing. I dropped the bottle on my bed and jetted out of my room. “Ben!” I yelled. “Benjamin!” I ran down the stairs and across the living room, dining room, and kitchen to Ben’s room. I threw open the door and Ben was lying on his bed, beads of sweat across his face and dark red circles under his eyes.
I ran over to the wall above his bed where there was a button installed just incase Ben needed help. Before I slammed my fist on it, Ben caught my wrist.
“I’m fine,” he wheezed. “Really.”
“No, Ben you aren’t fine.” Me, being the stronger one out of the both of us at the moment, loosened Ben’s grasp and slammed my fist down on the red button.
“The paramedics will be here any second, Ben. Hang on,” I breathed.

Throughout the whole ride to the hospital in the ambulance I fought the hysteria of wanting to breakdown, crying. Not only because Ben’s cancer was getting worse but because once again I was the one that had to push that red button. I remember reading the instructions clearly when it was first installed ‘…button may only be pressed by patient or caregiver.’ Was I the one with cancer? No. Was I the caregiver? No.
I paced back and forth across the waiting room , waiting for any reports from the nurses. Every now and then a tear would begin forming at the bottom of my eye but I would hold my head up high and take a deep breath. I was stronger than this but why was I crying? I never cried and what was more frustrating was that the people in the waiting room, whom I knew and knew me and also know I didn’t cry saw the blanket of water covering my eyes.
“He’s going to be fine, Morgan,” Mrs. Johnson said gently. “Take a seat.”
Mrs. Johnson was a kind woman. Probably the kindest of all Cape Hatteras that I knew of. Her young son, Jordan was a sweet kid, too. He recently turned seven last month but even with age he was still adorable. He had freckles, strawberry blonde hair, about the height of a five year old, a voice that just made you smile, he was also very smart. The thing was that he suffered from epilepsy and every two times a month or five at the highest, she would be in the hospital because his Jordan would have seizures. With her son currently in the hospital because of a seizure I was shocked that she would even have time to talk to me and worry about Ben at the same time.
“Thank you, Mrs. Johnson. I’m sure he’ll be fine, too,” I whispered.
“Take a nap, Morgan. You look exhausted.”
I nodded my head, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the wall as I tried to drift to sleep. But I couldn’t, not with the thought of Benjamin being in even more pain.
“Morgan?”
My eyes flashed open. “Is he all right?” I asked, jumping out of the chair.
“Morgan, honey….”
“Is he all right or not? Just tell me!”
Nurse Gomez set down her clipboard on the table and sat beside me where Mrs. Johnson was sitting before she left. “The cancer is spreading to his lungs….”
“What about the chemotherapy? Wasn’t that supposed to help it?”
“It was supposed to but his immune system is running low and that doesn’t help the chemo. The cancer is much stronger now.”
“What’re you trying to say?” I whispered.
“We can keep Benjamin on chemotherapy for as long as you like but I can’t guarantee you that it’s going to help. We just need to accept nature’s path.”
“Can I go see him?”
She nodded her head and I followed her into Ben’s room.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Nurse Gomez murmured, shutting the door.
“What’s up?” Benjamin said, trying to sound fine but it was obviously using up much of his energy.
“How’re you feeling?”
“Spiffy.” Now he was just being sarcastic.
“Benjamin, I know-”
“Is mom here?” His face was serious now.
I sighed. “No.”
He chuckled lightly. “Of course not. She never is here.”
“I called her already. She should be on her way soon to check you out.”
“And when did you call her?”
I bit my lip. “In the ambulance.” Then I added quickly, “but don’t worry about it right now, okay? Just rest until she comes.”
“I never want to see her face ever again,” he mumbled, turning his back on me.
“Ben….”
“Close the door when you leave.”
I sighed, leaving the room.
“Oh, Morgan. I’m so sorry I’m late. Is everything fine?” Mom asked, rushing toward me with her red dress, hair up in a bun and handbag. Kyle was right behind her in his tuxedo.
“Yes, mom. Everything is just great,” I said harshly.
“Morgan, don’t give me that right now. Is Ben in there?”
“Yes he is and no he doesn’t want to see you.”
“What is wrong with you, Morgan?”
“No, mom! What’s wrong with you?! What’s wrong with you never being around and not being there to take care of Ben when he needs your help the most. Why am I always the one taking charge? Why am I always acting like the grown-up around here? You said that you wanted to fix things with Ben and I, you said you wanted to be there for us for now on but you’ve hardly even been there, mom,” I laughed, tears beginning to stream down my face. I stopped laughing almost instantly. “Guess what?” I whispered fiercely. “Ben’s cancer spread to his lungs and he doesn’t have very long and do you know what he said to me? He told me he never wanted to see your face ever again. He hates you because you’re never there for him. You don’t even have the courage to drop all your things and come straight to the hospital when I called you and told you there was something wrong with Ben. Oh wait… did you even answer your phone? I had to leave a voicemail. At least when the hospital called dad he answered!” I crossed my arms and bit down on my lip, the tears coming down hysterically. “I asked dad if he can take us to come live with him.” Mom waited to hear what dad said. “He said he couldn’t handle us and that we should stay here with you. You two are more alike then I thought,” I hissed, shoving past her and out into the waiting room.
I ran through the hospital for the door. There was nothing more I wanted than to be alone. I just needed to cry. Let it all out. Then I ran straight into Carter.