When It All Comes Down

Waking up next to Ronnie felt so weird, yet it felt right at the same time. My face was buried in his chest, and his arms were wrapped securely around my waist. It was just like how it used to be.

I tried to carefully wiggle out of his grasp without waking up but failed, as his eyes slowly fluttered open and he smiled sleepily. "Well, I definitely missed waking up like this." I giggled slightly and playfully pushed him a bit. "Didn't you?" I blushed and smiled a little, nodding my head. "Awwwwww. I knew you still loved me." He teased, kissing my forehead lovingly. I pecked his lips before rolling over, getting out of bed, and trying to find my clothes.

"Good luck explaining this to Alex." He snickered. I groaned and slapped him upside the head making him laugh. He cleared his throat and mocked the couple's counselor. "So, how is everything going on between you too? Things getting better?" "Well.....I kinda fucked my ex-fiance-"

"Alright shut it." I mumbled. I threw his t-shirt in his face and he started laughing harder. I finished re-dressing before walking out to the kitchen. Ronnie emerged a few seconds later. "So what are you gonna do?" He asked, sitting down at the kitchen island with me.

"Well obviously I'm gonna need to tell him...and the counselor...soon. Maybe I should schedule an appointment today....even though we just went yesterday..." I bit my lip as I reached for my cell phone and turned it on, seeing I had 2 missed calls and 1 voice mail, all from Alex.

"He's gonna be pissed." Ronnie chuckled. I rolled my eyes as I dialed the Couple's Counseling number. "No shit, Ronnie." I talked to a receptionist on the phone and had her make an appointment for today. When I hung up, Ronnie asked, "Can I come? Cause I definitely wanna see this disaster." I reached over and punched him in the arm, glaring at him. He just laughed, again.

"One voice mail from Alex..." Ronnie looked over as I put the cell on speakerphone and played the voice mail.

"Hey, um...I'm sorry Vikki. I know the letter hurt you, but you needed to know everything. Please, just...I don't even know.....I'm just sorry...and I won't be able to say that enough......call me back, if you feel like you. You know I'm always here." I raised my eyebrow as Ronnie grinned. "Well, you ARE gonna have to call him..."

"Okay, do you ever shut up?" I asked as he started laughing again.

"This is just hilarious." He smirked.

"Oh, my pain is hilarious?" His smirk faded as I got up. "Yeah, it's real fucking funny Ronnie. I go and fuck my ex-fiance when I'm trying to fix my relationship with my current one. Yeah, it's a real knee slapper." He smiled sympathetically.

"If it helps any, I love you." I rolled my eyes, smiling as he stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"That helps a lot." I chuckled. He pouted and I smiled cheekily, poking his bottom lip. He leaned down and softly kissed me.

"Mmm..." I smiled into the kiss, placing my hands on his chest and letting our lips move in sync. We pulled away after a few seconds, smiling. "I miss your kisses." He said quietly, tucking some of my hair behind my ear.

"I know, they're awesome." I joked, making him grin and kiss me again. He pecked my lips 5 times in a row, making me giggle. We pulled away from each other and I scratched my head. "I have a feeling today's not gonna be a fun day for me." He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Just call me if you need anything." I started laughing and he did too.

"Well, I did. And we know how that turned out..." He grinned and kissed me again. "Best sex everrrrr." I rolled my eyes and pushed him away. "Okay, you can get out of my house now." He grinned before giving me a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Good-byeeee!" He sung as he walked out. I snickered to myself and went to go take a shower.

*****

***2 hours later***

I felt nervousness bubble up inside of me as I heard a knock on the door. I walked over to it and opened it, revealing Alex. Who looked amazing. Dammit.

"Hey." He smiled slightly. I smiled back and let him in. 'So why do we have to go to counseling today?" He asked. I sighed and picked up my purse. "I think we need all the counseling we can get, Alex." Was all I said before I walked out the door. He followed me, not saying another word.

We got in his car and drove to the counselor's office. We walked in, I talked to the receptionist, and we walked to our counselor's room.

"Hi Vikki, Alex." Jane smiled at us. We smiled and said "Hello" back before sitting down on the couch. "So Vikki, why'd you set up an emergency appointment today?" Alex looked at me and I sighed nervously. "Well, I kind of......have something to tell Alex." I looked at him and could see that he already knew what I was going to say.

Jane looked like she knew too, as she smiled sympathetically at me. "Go on, Vikki. Don't be afraid, you two have to be honest with each other in order to repair your relationship." I nodded. Alex grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently, surprising me but comforting me at the same time.

"Well, after I read the letter Alex wrote me, telling me everything he did, I asked him to leave and I called my ex-fiance, and.....we had sex last night. And also, the day you told me you were cheating on me..." I looked at Alex and he froze. "I.....kinda had sex with an..."old flame"."

He looked down and closed his eyes, still holding my hand. I bit my lip, rubbing my thumb on his hand to try and comfort him. He let out a deep breath and opened his eyes, still looking down at the ground.

"You did the right thing, Vikki. You told him and I right away, you're being honest." Jane smiled a little at me. "Alex, how do you feel right now?" She asked. He smiled a little and looked up at her.

"Honestly, like shit. But, I'm not gonna get mad at her...I deserve this, in a way. And I'm willing to work through it." He squeezed my hand tighter and I squeezed back, smiling with tears brimming my eyes. Jane smiled at both of us and wrote something down in her notebook.

"Vikki, how did you feel after you read the letter?" I sighed and leaned back into the couch, thinking back to last night. "Hurt. Ashamed. Betrayed. Fucked over. Stupid. Embarrassed. All of this was going on behind my back for a year, and I didn't even suspect a damn thing. I feel like a complete idiot." I explained honestly. She nodded and wrote some more down in her notebook. "Alex, what's going through your head? After what she just told you and all..."

"I do feel hurt, and betrayed that she did this...but, like I said, I deserve this. I don't blame her for doing what she did last night." I was surprised he was taking this so well. I thought he would've screamed at me and stormed out.

"Okay, well what I want you two to do for your assignment tonight, is to go home and just talk. Talk about everything; how you feel about the cheating, what you want to happen, so on and so forth." I nodded and we stood up. We shook hands with Jane and she smiled. "Once you two talk about everything and get how you feel and what you want all out on the table, you can start rebuilding the trust and repairing the relationship." I smiled and Alex did too.

"Thank you." I gave her a hug and she hugged me back. She smiled.

"You're welcome. I can tell you two really are in love, and that you do want this to work." We both agreed on that. We said our goodbyes and walked out, Alex's hand slipping into mine as we were walking. I smiled to myself as we got in the car and drove home.

*****

***That night***

Alex and I were sitting on the couch again. Both of us didn't know what to say, making it a bit awkward.

"Okay. This is awkward..." I laughed. He chuckled and nodded. "Ask me whatever." I nodded and thought of a question. "Umm...well, I've already ask you this, but I never really...got the answer I wanted..." He nodded, urging me to go on. "Why'd you cheat on me?" I whispered.

"Because I am a young and horny bastard." He answered simply. I snickered and he smiled a little. "No that really is why."

"Was I not good enough?" I blurted out. He shook his head furiously.

"No! You were way BEYOND good enough, you're perfect. I just.....I liked having a..."girl on the side". It made me feel.....powerful." I scrunched up my face.

"Cheating on your fiance makes you feel powerful?" I asked, disgusted. He nodded. "I'm ashamed to say it, but I feel like, "Ha, she doesn't even know about this. I'm fucking amazing.""

"Oh, that's great." I said sarcastically. I was about to stand up but he grabbed my hand. "Vikki, I have to tell you this stuff! I've gotta get it all out there so we can actually fix this!"

"This is making me sick though." I snapped.

"Yeah, well the thought of you fucking Ronnie in our bed last night makes me sick to my stomach!" He stood up, staring down at me angrily.

"THE THOUGHT OF YOU FUCKING THAT WHORE AND THEN COMING HOME AND CUDDLING AND KISSING ME GOODNIGHT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!" He glared down at me, his fists balling up. "Seriously, what made you want to cheat on me?"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU!" I crossed my arms.

"That's not the reason and you fucking know it." He groaned and pulled at his hair.

"I don't fucking know why I cheated on you for a year, Vikki! I really don't have an answer to that question!" I rolled my eyes and began to walk away.

'Obviously there IS a reason! You don't just cheat on someone for the fun of it!" I yelled.

"Fine, you wanna know why?!" He screamed in my face. I nodded my head. "I fucking had an affair with my ex behind your back because after we were together for two years, you acted like you were fucking bored of me! We didn't have sex as much, you were always at work so most nights we didn't go to bed together, you would go out with your girlfriends and I felt like I wasn't good enough! It wasn't because YOU WEREN'T, it's because I WASN'T! Lisa made me feel wanted! You acted like you were bored of me! THAT'S the reason why!"

By the time he was done screaming his explanation to me, I felt like shit. He was on the verge of tears, and so was I. "I cheated because I thought I wasn't good enough for you. That you were falling...out of love with me. I needed to feel wanted."

"I was never bored of you! I never will be!" I exclaimed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his went around my waist tightly. I frowned as he buried his face in my shoulder, the wet feeling of tears hitting my skin. I stroked his hair to try and calm him down. "Alex, I'm in love with you, more then ever. I consider myself fucking lucky as hell to have you as my fiance, I considered myself lucky when you asked me to marry you! I wasn't ever bored of you, or falling out of love with you, or whatever." He lifted his head and I wiped his tears away. He smiled slightly down at me. "Well now I really feel like an ass."

I laughed slightly and tightened my grip around his neck. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he laughed too, picking me up and walking over to the counter to set me down on it. He rested his forehead against mine and I smiled.

"Can I just ask you one thing?" I nodded. "Who was the "old flame"?" I snorted. "Max. I don't even know why I had sex with him...he looks like a tranny now. Don't worry, I don't secretly love him or anything." Alex chuckled and nodded. "Can I have a kiss...?"

I giggled and "aww"'d, causing him to narrow his eyes at me. "Well, since you finally told me the reason you cheated.....I guessss...." He grinned goofily and pressed his lips to mine, making me smile.