On My Own

WARNING! SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD!!

Once the door was closed, he quickly strode over to the bed and plopped me down onto my back. In a moment, his body was straddling mine, his thighs on either side while using his hands to pin down my upper half. It was as if he knew that left with a chance, I would take it and bolt right out of there.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he whispered, taking his nose and nuzzling it against my neck.

“Nope,” I breathed out, doing my best to resist the urge to put my hands on his head and run my fingers through his hair.

“Ever since that night at the motel, doing something like this has played through my mind so many times,” he whispered in my ear before biting down on my earlobe.

My breath hitched in my throat as my arms wound their way around his back, my fingers digging into his back through his shirt, causing him to let out a soft moan.

“Even though at that time you wanted nothing to do with females?” I gasped as at that moment his teeth grazed against my skin before nibbling on my collarbone.

“Just shut up,” he growled before pressing his lips against mine in a frenzied hunger.

I moaned into his mouth as hit bit down on my lower lip as his hands went underneath my shirt, traveling up my sides. He answered with a moan of his own as his tongue traced my lower lip, his hands traveling higher before reaching underneath my bra, firmly grasping one of my breasts in his hand before giving it a squeeze.

A whimper escaped me as I arched against him, pushing my chest even closer to his body. He took the chance to delve his tongue into my mouth, dueling with my own as he took his thumb, lightly flicking it back and forth over my nipple.

I growled, massaging his tongue with my own as my hands went under the back of his shirt, traveling upwards before I began raking my nails down his back.

Quickly he removed his lips from mine as he sat back to tug off his shirt, revealing his muscles that I never before got to examine up close. Leaning down, he ran his calloused fingers from my stomach to my sides before bundling my shirt in his hands and lifting it up over my head and off my body.

His eyes roved over what was uncovered slowly, taking it all in as a smirk played on his lips. Taking his finger, he traced a path from my belly button up to my chest, all the way up to my lips which was followed by his lips until they once again covered my own.

This time, the kiss was different. It wasn’t hungry and demanding like the previous one had been, this one was softer. Gently, his hand cupped my cheek, his thumb stroking it smoothly as my heart raced from how sweet it was.

My eyes fluttered shut as my hands found their way around his neck, running across the nape of his neck before getting tangled in his hair. I found myself nibbling on his lip while my fingers tugged on his hair strands.

A guttural groan was emitted from his lips as his hands roamed down my sides before slipping over my ass and squeezing it. I let out a gasp as he started grinding into me and I could feel him stiffen against me through his pants.

I couldn’t take it anymore, the pressure between my legs was starting to grow unbearable. Pushing him off me, I shimmied so that I could quickly remove my shorts and panties, tossing them somewhere off to the side of the bed. Burke followed my actions, and soon we were both stark naked on the bed, just looking at each other.

I know that at the beginning, I didn’t want anything to do with him. But at that point in time, it changed. I needed relief and I wanted him to be the one to give it to me.

My eyes were drawn down to the point between his legs. I began to freak out; there was no way that something that big could fit inside me.

With a smirk, there was only one quick movement as he lowered his body and pressed himself into me. I let out a soft cry when he entered me, since I was a virgin before that moment. He placed his lips against mine and kissed me passionately as his lower body stayed still, us getting used to the feel of each other.

A moment later, he placed his hands on my hips, gently grabbing them as he began to pull out before slowly thrusting back into me. He let out a loud moan of pleasure before dipping his head and placing kisses on my collarbone while continuing to thrust.

A moan of my own came out as I raked my nails up and down his back, feeling at one point the skin breaking as another groan of pleasure escaped him.

I tossed my head and let out a whimper as he began to pick up the pace. I felt an urge, so I brought my lips to his neck, kissing and sucking on it softly before biting down.

He let out a growl of pleasure, his hand coming up to cup my breast as he quickened the pace even more. A gasp escaped my throat as I felt the muscles in my legs start to tighten up, building up and getting ready to let go.

“I’m… almost there,” he panted into my ear.

“Me too,” I breathed out.

I gasped when I felt his thumb brush against my clit. After a few more soft passes with his fingers, I burst. My body started to shake as I felt myself pulsing and squeezing around him, followed by him pinning my arms down as I could feel him erupt into me before his body collapsed against mine.

It was comfortable, just laying in each other’s arms after what we had done. We were laying so that my backside was flush against his front, his arm wrapped around my waist as he held me close.

A smile crossed my face as I felt his nose nuzzle the nape of my neck before burying his head in my hair.

“You’re amazing,” he whispered before placing a kiss on my shoulder.

“Thanks,” I whispered, feeling a blush creeping onto my cheeks. I was thankful that he couldn’t see my face at that moment.

“See, that wasn’t so bad,” he said while taking his hand that was around my waist and began stroking circles on my stomach.

“Agreed,” I murmured as a sigh of content escaped me.

At that moment, I was even thinking that I wanted to do that in the future, over and over again. My blush grew even deeper as my thoughts drifted to what we had just done moments before. I still could not believe that I had actually just had sex.

“You know, I could do this all day,” he growled into my ear, causing me to shiver.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have enough stamina to do that yet,” I laughed as I rolled in his arms so that I was face to face with him.

“Don’t worry, we’ll work up to it,” he grinned as he caressed my cheek with his hand.

I just sighed as I closed my eyes, relishing the touch of his hand against my skin. As I lay there, I couldn’t get one thought in particular out of my head.

“Burke?”

“Hmm?” he mumbled as his hands roved over my back.

“I was just… what changed your mind?” I asked, hoping that I didn’t wreck our mood.

He paused before tilting my head so that I was looking him in the eyes. “You did.”

“But… what happened that made you… well, what I guess I’m trying to say is why were so averse to having a female in your life?” I asked softly.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said as he rolled onto his side away from me.

“Burke, you can’t do this!” I said in exasperation as I propped myself up on my arm so that I could see him properly. “We’re mates now. That means we’re partners in everything we do, that we’re there for each other. I want to understand you, understand what happened to make you who you are. Please?”

He rolled back over, laying on his back as he stared back up at me. Gently he reached up and cupped my cheek before closing his eyes, bringing my head down so that our foreheads were resting against one another. When he reopened his eyes, they were filled with sadness.

“It happened over seven years ago. I was only nineteen at the time. This was all before I came to live with this pack. My life then was great. I had lots of friends and at that point in time, I had the perfect girl. I don’t know if it was love, but we were basically inseparable. We were set to have a joining ceremony to become mates. It never happened.”

“One day a couple weeks before our ceremony, it happened. We were walking through the woods, but we ended up being attacked. The area that I lived in was closer to where the lionines roam, and since we have ventured further away from our village than most people usually do, we ran into them.”

“I knew that both of us couldn’t take it down, so I told her to run while I distracted it until she got far enough away from it. But my plan didn’t work. Soon as she took off, the damn thing followed after her. I raced after them, determined to stop it from getting to her.”

He paused, taking a deep breath and looked away from me before continuing on with his story. “They ran until they approached a hill of sorts, surrounded by jagged rocks. She started climbing up it, and it just followed after her. I tried going after its legs, hoping that if I at least wounded it, it wouldn’t be able to catch her. To it, I was just an annoyance. So it kicked out one of its lower legs, sending me flying to the ground. I was so unruffled that I couldn’t keep my eyes on the pair of them as they kept climbing.”

“When they reached the top, I heard her snarl and bark at it, trying to get it to back down, but it just strode in a circle around her, as if she were its prey. Before it could lunge at her, she went after it, jaws snapping as she too tried going after its legs. That tactic didn’t work too well for her either. As I finally got to my feet and tried going back up after them, I froze in fear when I saw the scene take place.”

“That monster grabbed her by the neck with its mouth, digging its teeth in deep as I heard her yelp with a howl of pain. It began to shake its head back and forth, her body still hanging from its mouth. A moment later it opened its mouth and she flew off the side with such momentum that from where I was I could hear a large crack as she crashed against the rocks that were on the other side. At that moment, something snapped inside me; it was as if all I could see was red as I charged up and rammed into its side, causing it to lose balance as it too fell over the edge and to the rocks below.”

“Soon as it went over the edge, I became calmer. I walked over and peered down. That damn lionine somehow survived, although it took a heavy bruising from the fall. My future mate landed a few feet from where the lionine did. My heart was racing so fast that I swore it would jump right out of my chest; there was no movement. Not even one little howl of pain that showed that she was alive. I raced down to her side, but when I got there it was too late; she was already dead from the force of the impact of her body against the sharp rocks.”

“That day, I felt so weak, not being able to do anything to protect her, or save her. I was supposed to take care of her, not let her die. I haven’t been able to forgive myself; she died because I was too weak to save her. That’s why for the longest time I couldn’t bear the thought of having a mate. What if I become weak and can’t save her? There was no way that I could ever put myself through that again.”

I watched his face as a couple tears slid down his face. Reaching up, I softly brushed them away, not daring to say anything. Words would just ruin the moment, and I didn’t need to do that. Not when we had just gone through a huge step.

Closing his eyes, he breathed in a deep sigh before encircling his arms around my waist again, pulling me up against him as close as possible. He nuzzled my neck before burying his head against my shoulder, just leaving it there.

Not knowing what else to do, I returned the gesture, wrapping my arms around him as my head rested against his. My hand started tracing circles on his lower back and within a few minutes, I felt his chest rising and falling as he fell asleep. A tear slipped out of my eye as my heart went out to him, not being able to imagine all the pain he went through. A couple minutes later I joined him in slumber.