I Know It's Hurting You, But It's Killing Me

I had woken up the next morning with a killer headache and practically begged dad to let me stay home from school. I knew he didn’t want me too considering I had skipped half of my classes in two days, but he gave in when he saw how much pain I was in. I had been lying on the couch for two hours while listening to my IPod as I waited for dad to get home with groceries, my home work and my books from my locker.

“I’m home,” Dad announced as he entered the house. I jumped up and ran to him. We met half way in the kitchen and set my school stuff on the counter. “I got your homework, your books and there are a few notes there that fell out of your locker when I opened it.”

I nodded and picked up three notes off the top of the stack. I sat down at the bar and started reading them as dad lugged in the groceries. I opened the first note and started to read it.

I can’t believe you slept with him! You’re such a slut.

It didn’t say whom it was from but I figured at that point it didn’t matter. I opened the second note and started to read it.

You’re a no good whore for sleeping with Brandon. And to think you were going to stay pure.

It was anonymous like the first one. Part of me didn’t want to read the last note but another part of me wanted to read it so badly. In the end I unfolded it and read what little words there were.

I hope you die you ugly slut. You knew I liked him but you still slept with him anyways.

I didn’t need anyone to tell me who that was from because I knew it was from Lindsey; another ex friend of mine who I had met through Jen. I ripped them up and threw them in the garbage not wanting dad to find them.

“Are you feeling any better?” He asked as he started putting the groceries away.

“Yeah, and thanks for letting me stay home today. My head was really killing me earlier.” I said as I started to help him.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He smiled softly. “I ran into Katherine at the store today.” He changed the subject, referring to Jen’s mother.

“That’s nice, how is she?” I asked.

“She’s alright, but she had some interesting words to say about you.” I could feel his eyes on me as I put the milk into the fridge.

“Like what?” I asked with much curiosity.

“She said that she’s sorry about Jen calling you a slut even though you did kind of deserved it before walking off.” I stopped what I was doing and looked up at him. “And I’m sorry Audrey, but I read those notes.”

“It’s not what you think, dad.” That was the only thing I could come up with.

“Audrey,” He sighed. “I know you’re fifteen now and you’re getting older but I want the truth. Did you sleep with that Brandon guy?” He asked looking straight into my eyes.

“No, I didn’t. It’s all one big misunderstanding. Jen accused me of sleeping with him but I didn’t, I swear. I’m not like that dad, you know that.”

“What about the notes?”

“Jen stabbed me in the back and told the whole school on Monday that I was a slut and slept with Brandon. Now everyone thinks I’m a whore.” I said slowly and quietly but loud enough for him to hear me.

I wasn’t technically lying; I was just leaving out a few details. I felt my eyes tear up as he pulled me into a hug. “Is that why you want to switch schools?” He asked as he pulled away.

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

“Oh honey, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know because sooner or later they’re going to forget about it and stop…right?” I asked looking up at him.

“I don’t know Audrey; kids can be cruel now and days.” He sighed.

“I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do dad, please help me.”

“Come here sweetheart,” He motioned for me to follow him. We walked into the living room and over to the couch.

“Sit down and tell me when this started and what happened to make Jen accuse you of sleeping with Brandon.” I sat down crisscross and bit my lip. “Come on Audrey, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

“Saturday when I told you that I was going to stay at Jen’s for a sleep over, I lied.” He nodded and urged me to go on. “We went to a party at Eric’s house and Jen and I were hanging out with Brandon and Ryan. After a little while Jen and Ryan ditched Brandon and I to go talk by themselves and since Eric lives down the street I left and came home.” I lied again. “Brandon also left and since no one saw both of us the rest of the night they figured we went somewhere to be alone. Jen turned it into this whole thing were we slept with each other and that I’m a slut. Brandon let Jen think that it was true and now everyone at school thinks it.” I finished. I wanted to tell him the truth but I had no idea how to even explain what really happened. “I’m sorry I lied, its just Jen begged me to go and I didn’t want her mad at me. As stupid as that sounds.”

“It’s okay Audrey, I’m not mad.”

“Your not?” I asked surprised.

“No, I mean I’m a little disappointed that you lied to me but I’m not angry at you.”

“Does this mean you’re not going to ground me?” I asked looking up at him.

“No, I’m not going to ground you.” He chuckled. “I should but I think you’re being punished enough from the kids at school.” I nodded.

“I’m sorry I lied, I really am. If I could go back in time and change it I would, I swear I would.” I could feel tears starting to fall from my eyes and roll down my rosy cheeks.

“Its okay baby girl, you’ll get through this. I promise you will.” If only he knew that it was more than just being called a slut by the entire school.