I Know It's Hurting You, But It's Killing Me

“I've been looking for you.” Matt said as he sat down next to me in the sand a week later.

“I'm sorry,” I apologized, watching the water. “I just wanted some time alone.”

He laughed slightly and nodded. “That's understandable, Audrey.”

I nodded and chewed on my lip. I thought about everything that had happened in the past three weeks, and it honestly should have made me smile. Great things had happened, but I still didn't remember everything. Plus I was still scared out of mind about being pregnant and being a mother in seven months.

“What's going on, Audrey?” Matt questioned. “I know you're scared about everything going on but what else is wrong? And why are you wearing actual t-shirts these days instead of tank tops like usual?” I knew he would notice that sooner or later.

“I'm getting fat.” I laughed at myself because I felt so stupid to be so self-conscious about it.

“Audrey, look at me.” I listened and looked over at him, our eyes connecting. “What in the hell are you talking about?” He asked.

“I'm getting fat.” I stated slowly, hoping he'd catch on.

“You're insane,” He chuckled, shaking his head. “You're not getting fat yet, and yes I said yet. Obviously you're going to get bigger, for God sakes you're pregnant.”

I groaned and turned away. I could barely look at him these days because of how ashamed I felt. I was raped and knocked up; it wasn't as if I felt over whelmed with joy because of it. I really just wanted to crawl into a whole and hide for the rest of my life.

Suddenly Matt wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer. I leaned side ways and buried my face in his chest.

“I love you, Audrey. I'll always love you no matter what.”

“I know,” I murmured, “I love you too.” And I meant it.

No I truly didn't remember him, but he was my father after all. How could I not love him? He had done so much for me since I woke up in that hospital bed and I was thankful for that. He even accepted the fact that I was pregnant at such a young age, and he was supporting the fact that I wanted to keep the baby. That meant more to me than anything. It proved to me that I could trust him with my life, and that he truly did love me more than anything. I was his daughter and I knew that he'd support me through anything, whether I made the right decisions or not.

“You're turning sixteen next week.” He spoke after a few minutes of silence.

I pulled away and looked at him with a small smile tugging at my lips. “Really?” I questioned.

“Yep,” He nodded, grinning at me. “I still can't believe my baby's going to be sixteen. It's unreal.” He shook his head in disbelief.

“Sixteen,” I muttered to myself, chewing on lip slightly. “I can't believe it either.” I laughed.

“You want to have a party?” He questioned, locking eyes with mine.

I shrugged, not exactly sure if that was a good idea, especially with everything that had happened.

“Oh come on, Audrey. You only turn sixteen once. I think we should have a party for you.” Matt said, and I knew he was right, I do only turn sixteen once.

“Okay fine.” I sighed and nodded. “But I don't want anything to do with the planning or whatever. Have Michelle and the girls do that for all I care.” I laughed.

He smirked and nodded, agreeing with me. “Deal, but...” He trailed off.

“But what?” I said with a small groan before he could finish what he was going to say.

“You have to at least pick out a dress to wear.”

I rolled my eyes, “Fine,” I nodded. “I'll pick out a dress my dress.”

Matt chuckled before kissing me on my forehead. “You'll enjoy yourself, I promise.”

I smiled slightly before leaning back into his chest happily. Even though I still couldn't remember much I still felt so incredibly happy with how things were. Everything was finally settling down and it was really nice.